Brilliant plots, total dick.
Trixie is one attack away from ending Twilight's corruption, but why did she hesitate?
More or less an ending prompt rather than a whole fleshed out story. I guess it's a short story to show off raw writing skill, written all in one day.
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I found the overall premise to be very good. I enjoyed the back-and-forth of the combat, and It seemed like you had a hashed out story behind the combat.
I did notice a few inconsistencies with the story. Twilight often fell out of her speech patterns, referring to herself as 'me' rather that the royal 'we' or 'us'. The other main thing I
nitpickednoticed is on a number of occasions you fell into a flip-flop of past and present tenses with the story. I don't know if this was a mistake or if the reader was supposed to be reading Trixie's thoughts, but it made the pacing of the story a bit jarring.Overall, the story held my attention, and stood out fairly nicely as something fun to read. I personally would love to see more chapters of this story (perhaps a prequel chapter explaining what started the war in more detail?).
I thumbs up this story and hope to see more from you.
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I planned for a fleshed out story, but so far, the story is lost in the wood-works.
I ended up canning the project a while ago, however, I still have the prologue chapter and the ending.
The pretenses are supposed to be in present, but it muscle memory prohibits me from sticking to one tense. I don't know why, it just does, and I know it shouldn't.
Twilight's speech pattern, yes, I notice it does fall out of order. Hmm.