Imagine my surprise when Moondancer told me that she'd discovered a way to access your fanfictions. A scholar like her should have been thrilled, but she said that she quickly became disillusioned. Most of your stories aren't that great.
Like the dummy I am, I offered to look them over, do some reviewing, commenting, and generally offer tips on how to improve. They can't be that bad, right?
Oh how naive I was! Yes, yes they can.
I had no idea about the sheer immensity of this task, and as if that wasn't bad enough, each and every one of your stories finds a new and unique way of being awful. I've just about reached my breaking point, and Celestia help me if I get there. I doubt that even Death herself could stand to read your fanfiction!
This was born from a severe lack of sleep while I was trying to write a review. It was out of place as a part of that work, so I removed it, revised it, and greatly expanded it until could stand on its own. The original version was only 432 words.
By the way, I'm using the collective, plural form of the pronouns 'you' and 'your' here. I'm not addressing the reader directly, but rather the fandom in general.
This speaks to me on a spiritual level.
Having read fics from the ever illusive charliewhiskey (I forget the number) as well as being a regular on the plan 9 from equestria, I understand yout pain.
This should be framed and hung in the Smithsonian.
https://www.derpiboo.ru/801986
Are these real? These can't be real. I know those were parodies but... nope. nope nope nope nope. Stop thinking about it, you know what? Stop thinking all together. And stop talking to yourself.
I think this is exactly how Meeester feels every single day.
Out of purely morbid curiosity, did he approve this story?
Hope The King of Hearts doesn't read this cause he's going to be real butt hurt if he does.
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Spacecowboy was the moderator who approved this story.
If you need a sub-par fic to make fun of, there's always mine.
Oh no people are writing bad fan-fics. How dare they not call her Muffins.
Ooh, a story about an angry reviewer! How meta.
Yeah, bad fan-fiction comes with the field. We're unique in that just about anything can get published. Well, I guess that isn't explicitly true: there was the 2013 Indie Explosion, where mediocre developers bombarded Steam with non-stop tripe. They're still picking out the shrapnel, I think.
At least you have righteous indignation and a muse that cooperates. All I have is a burlap sack of Aussie-slang and borrowed wit, a stylish (and impractical) trilby, and an unflinching look of one-hundred proof smug.
(I really like this. Sums up the job of a fan-fiction critic exceptionally well. But, towards the end, everything just started to run together. I don't know if it was the story, or if it was me.
)
I saw this in the "Tear MY Story to Shreds" folder and wanted to Rage Review it for the sake of metareference, but I don't think anyone's going to want to read me rolling on the floor and gushing. Darn it, Palm, you made it too fun.
Though I do feel the need to note that She of the Seven Bubbles has called so many things over the years that her identity is still somewhat undetermined. That's my story and I'm sticking to it.