• Member Since 27th Jun, 2015
  • offline last seen Yesterday

lost worlds

After a year or so I finally decided that I should make an account on this site to comment and or write because I love reading the stories posted here.


A 17 year old boy is thrown into the world of equestria where he must learn to cope with the fact that he may never be able to go home, even if he's not completely alone, and must learn to survive as the creature that sent him their seeks revenge and starts to battle the ponies with his army of monsters, and he must battle to protect his friends. will he survive to see his friends after the battle.

Chapters (4)
Comments ( 7 )

great story i love it keep it up ^^


Oh boy, I really don't know what could be added to this story to make it good, I'm sorry. :fluttershysad:

The first thing that comes to mind is the stereotypical HiE that makes me cringe every time I read one. :unsuresweetie:

The only thing I can suggest is that you re-write this, because trying to fix all the issues would take hours on end.

I could help out a bit, but I got a lot on my plate too. Best of luck.

- J

- to themantis

That's funny enough that I can't even care.

- to jackripper

It's okay dude, probably gonna go off of the advice I've been getting and just start a new story.

You reply to comments by moving your mouse over to the right-hand corner of the comment you want to reply to then clicking on the >> that appears. Why does this story have so many dislikes? I mean, it can't be that bad, right? ...Right?


Even I have to admit that the story is rather bad, I screwed up on all pieces of narrative writing 101. My pacing was terrible, the character unrealistic, my plot was sloppy at best, and all around it wasn't going where I wanted, that's why I'm redoing the whole thing. At least there wasn't much yet, so I don't have to redo that much.

I thoroughly enjoyed this read, can't wait to read more.

Login or register to comment