• Published 31st Dec 2015
  • 573 Views, 7 Comments

The fight for survival - lost worlds

The story of Jack cresten and his life in equestria, starting with his faithful run in with his soon to be mortal enemy.

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work in progress

I am cancelling this story and shall be re-working it with the hopes of making it better. The pacing shall be redone as to make the flow easier to follow, and the character shall be slightly fixed so he is a bit more rational (sorta). Any way if you actually care about the story then just watch because the moment that this is uploaded and I change the story to cancelled I will submit the other one. Also the main antagonist will be worked on as well so he isn't a rhyming piece of shit that doesn't make any sense even to his creator, so see you in the next one.

Comments ( 2 )

You reply to comments by moving your mouse over to the right-hand corner of the comment you want to reply to then clicking on the >> that appears. Why does this story have so many dislikes? I mean, it can't be that bad, right? ...Right?


Even I have to admit that the story is rather bad, I screwed up on all pieces of narrative writing 101. My pacing was terrible, the character unrealistic, my plot was sloppy at best, and all around it wasn't going where I wanted, that's why I'm redoing the whole thing. At least there wasn't much yet, so I don't have to redo that much.

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