- Member Since 12th Jan, 2015
- offline last seen Mar 31st, 2023
Darkmetroidz
Student Teacher, Gamer, Writer. Lover of pokemon and MLP.
Darkmetroidz
Joined 12th Jan, 2015 ·
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...Wow...
...Can I kill Soarin now??? Please?!
Hard to say I like it because of the subject matter, but I can't discredit the story for it.
Caught between a rock and a hard place...
Nice.
I really don't understand this one.
I mean, Soaren is portrayed as kind of an oblivious half-drunk idiot, but it's hard to accuse him of rape when Rainbow Dash said literally nothing but "yes" the entire time she was with him. I'm not defending his clumsiness, abruptness, or his lack of consideration for her and safety in general (though really, would it be impossible for Rainbow Dash to voice, or even take care of, these concerns herself), but being a jerk and an asshole isn't the same as being an actual rapist, and he did nothing that says "rape" to me. He had sex with a girl who went to his house TO have sex with him, asked her BEFORE penetration if she was ready, and penetrated her after she said "yes". She just spends the rest of the story ASSUMING he wouldn't have stopped if she said no, and explaining her bad experience to herself and her friends by assuming he's a rapist.
I will never defend rape or rapists. They are vile, subhuman creatures who should be, and will be, cast into the pits of Hell someday.
But I think if anything, this story is less about rape and more about a refusal to take personal responsibility. Rainbow Dash even admits she could have taken control the entire time, that it was all her decision, that it was her STUPID decision, maybe her WRONG decision, but it was still entirely, 100% her decision to go through with it and say nothing the entire time it was happening. Hell Soaren even specifically asked if she was ready. She could have spoken up and, if not stop it, ask him to work her over first. Tell him how to GET her ready. We the reader don't even know if he's experienced at this (just because he's a flirt doesn't mean he's not a virgin). Maybe he doesn't know what it takes to work a girl over, maybe he never even realized anything was wrong while it was happening. She says literally nothing to him. Ever.
I feel for girls, or anybody for that matter, who choose to do something and then regrets it later, but that is not a "rape situation". Rape is by definition non-consensual, and Rainbow Dash did literally nothing but consent, only deciding AFTER the fact that she didn't want it. She even smiled when she said "yes" for crying out loud.
It was nice, although I couldn't help but feel like Rainbow was a bit too... mature at certain points, if that makes sense. Some of her vocabulary felt out-of-place, and there were certain conclusions she came to/things she talked about that I don't think Rainbow Dash actually would.
6072732
That's great, but at no point in this story--whether in the prose or the description--does Rainbow ever say she's been raped. At one point she says she was "questionably" raped, but even then she makes it clear that she has no idea. Rainbow says that she feels violated; that's something that can happen without one being raped.
EDIT: In addition, consider that this story is told in the first person, which means that objective fact is second to subjective emotion. This is especially true when viewed through the lense of Rainbow Dash, a defining character trait of whom is to hide her emotions to make herself look better/stronger.
6072749
If this is the case, then the lesson seems doubly geared towards taking control of one's own fate, and speaking up about one's own desires and emotions. Not hiding things because it's what they think they "should" do. Yet that's not the lesson given at the end. At no point is Rainbow ever admonished for hiding her true feelings, at no point does she realize she should have spoken up at some point and taken control of her own fate. She spends the entire story mad at him and blaming him for the whole thing, while all of her friends reinforce this line of thinking. Rainbow even considers calling the police on Soaren. Calling the police on Soaren for being incredibly bad at sex, basically.
I dunno, to me feelings of "violation" in themselves imply that one feels like they were raped, and while I do not in any way believe in the "blame the victim" mentality, Rainbow Dash really did bring all of this on herself by hiding her true feelings and putting up a hollow front, yet she never learns from that.
6072819
Just because something is logical doesn't mean that it has to happen.
EDIT: Also, at no point does Rainbow ever consider calling the police. Fluttershy does. Rainbow is the one who stops her.
Before reading.....
i2.kym-cdn.com/photos/images/original/000/123/620/Oh-boy-here-we-go.jpg
Soarin has a fair reputation at school as something of a horn dog and a womanizer.
http://cdn.meme.am/instances2/500x/155911.jpg
Nervously, I stripped off my socks, my bra, and my underwear, leaving myself totally exposed and feeling completely vulnerable.
ct.fra.bz/ol/fz/sw/i49/5/3/19/frabz-OH-GOD-OH-JESUS-CHRIST-NO-58961f.jpg
Have to agree with DragonShadow here. Yes, Soarin' was a clumsy idiot, but apart from offering the drink, which could still be taken as offering a drink, he does nothing that could really be considered rape. Rainbow constantly talks about how she knew what she was getting into and, by the US definition in the lawbooks, that means that even if the police had been called, Soarin' would legally be guilty of nothing. Not to downplay that Rainbow shouldn't feel bad, she is best pony after all, but she only seems to feel guilt about how her first time wasn't "magical", like that is somehow Soarin's fault. Just because the sex sucked doesn't mean he raped her. The ending was a bit harsh though. Admittedly though, I ship Dash and Soarin', so that might be part of the problem, not to mention that Soarin' is so badass in my headcannon that I find him actually commiting rape to be impossible.
I said yes.
quickmeme.com/img/e0/e09b713eaeb6f8b0676219409e78b58c5d0109c54ed5e6a18c5a83e8488debde.jpg
Bastard didn't even use protection.
quickmeme.com/img/d2/d2ec6f44cc549c1131d8be579980f39c5c34bbbe7ed3ca7d6fe782eb948a92ad.jpg
6072537 do it I'll be right there to help
I was really reluctant to use the word rape in this at all because the whole idea was for it not to have been.
Yes soarin was a jerk but I do acknowledge legally he did nothing wrong, which is why rainbow knew if she did say it was his fault, she'd be lying to the police.
I seriously don't get the down votes. This was pretty well written and Rainbow felt in character. And wheter this was rape or note is a different question but the experience of a bad first time ain't uncommon. I think it was good, and heartwarming at the end.
And the next time Rainbow decides to have sex, she knows what she wants to feel.
I think the downvotes is because some people think "no clop? -sucks!"
6072537 Let me join in.
Why does this have so many down votes? This was an amazing one-shot.
Can I ask you a question? Why did you decide to use Soarin as the "bad boyfriend" in this story instead of an OC? I have a feeling that a certain percentage of your dislikes came because of this.
6074528
You raise a very interesting point.
I try to avoid using OCs unless they're the focus of the story. There aren't a lot of stallions to choose from in the first place, and soarin is really the only one with a connection to dash, so he was really the natural candidate.
I don't have anything against him, but I don't like making characters who are bad for the sake of being bad, because as a rule they're incredibly boring.
There is a kind-of prequel story to this one, and I had soarin and dash paired before the idea for this even came around, so at first I wasn't intending to demonize him, it just sort of happened.
6073976 Seriously, this was good. I think the point of downvotes are because it's rape, and many people out there just instantly hate seeing rape fics, so I guess they downvote it? I dunno. :P This was a great story though.
6073454 Or that, too.
6074797 Seriously! I thought it was great, but apparently people see rape and they get mad and downvote.
6074809 I mean, it is heartwarming at the end, it ain't like a surpreme rape story where the raper wins at the end after such hardcore rape. Being very honest here.
6074818 And I understand where you're coming from. This is a very realistic portrayal of something that actually happens.
6074826 I honestly hated rape fics, for just the obvious reason there, but here, this is great. I really never read a rape fic, basically cause it's WRONG, but are there any other stories like this that are supposedly good? Are they usually like this or something?
6074833 Personally, I don't know. I'm usually not a big fan of these fics either.
6072537
Woah calm down 11 angry men.
Wow, this is... wow. Great writing and a good moral, but holy crap.
6074841 Still, this was something else. I love it! Messed up and so deep, but it really gets to ya. If only some of these fimfics, not just rape, but romance and whatever, were read in my school. We read a crap book called 'Mergers'. :P
6076041 That I agree with.
6073408
If the idea was for it not to have been rape, and for her to know that, then her reaction to it was comically melodramatic.
Two teenagers get together and have terrible first-time sex. This is an event girls will remember, but I doubt very many see it as being this terribly traumatic. Rainbow and everyone around her treats it like a rape, as if she was held down against her will and bent to his will. I can see her being introspective about what she expected, and even being mad at him for not being what she wanted, but the self-pity parade and the giant support group that formed around her to help her through this "tough time" is blowing it way out of proportion.
Please, don't take this as mockery, bashing, or insults, I mean this in a purely constructive way, but the first part of the story simply doesn't mesh with the second part (divided by the sex itself). This is why half your readers are assuming it's a rape and sympathizing with Rainbow Dash, while the other half assume it's not rape and wondering what she's freaking out so hard about.
If you assume it is supposed to be rape, then as I said previously, nothing Soarin actually did supports this conclusion. He and Rainbow Dash (as a pair) spent the whole night filling the air with sexual tension, and he didn't lay a hand on her until she told him he could, and she never once bothered to say otherwise.
If you assume it's not supposed to be rape, then her reaction to the event is so overblown and melodramatic that it FEELS like he was supposed to rape her. Like she's some confused, bewildered victim trying to pick up the pieces of the life she once had before this life-changing traumatic event changed the course of history forever. The reality if you look at it is just bad sex on both of their parts really. The "lay there like a limp noodle" sexual technique employed by Rainbow Dash isn't really any better than Soarin's "Fire in the hole!" technique. They both contributed to this terrible experience, yet she acts like it's entirely his fault, with only vague notions that "she might have had a hand in it". It's positively silly.
This is where the divide and the negative votes are coming from. Narrative whiplash stemming from unclear messages about what exactly the reader is supposed to think. I'd recommend either having him be more forceful, and her trying to make him stop at some point, or ease back on the melodrama in the end in favor of being more introspective and less mindlessly confused, spiteful, and self-pitying.
Shit. I don't even know what to say. I mean, hats off to the author, that was extremely well written, but just...sad.
Hmm, must be a lot of SoarinDash fans DV'ing this for crapping on their preferred ship, but wow. Nicely done for an emotionally low piece. I quite like it, other than one hitch.
This passage feels rather out of context with the narrative, as it's something that happens in the future where the narrative is mostly in the present. Especially since you basically come back and reiterate most of it later after Dash wakes up at Fluttershy's later and the gang's all there. A little cut, paste, and edit will fix that. It will also likely leave Dash feeling worse in the moment to her realization about not having used protection, but your ending becomes all the more positive for it in her having dodged the bullet.
Beyond that, awesome emotional gut work here, solid feels and descriptive narrative. I'll be checking out any other pieces you've done for sure.
You could quite easily turn this into a series of introspections by the humane six on various emotional high and low points: first dates, first kisses, personal losses. Although a positive version of this story, a warm after glow setting, for another couple, to work the opposite emotional range might be good too.
UVF for you. Good work.
6072732 Good points and I agree totally on those, but I'll interject here that Dash's 'rape' connotation is basically reflexive on herself, and she's pretty low on her self for it. Her failure to take control is the key as you point out, and the result is not the criminal version of rape, but the ensuing emotional injury leaves Dash feeling violated in the same manner, ergo 'raped'. Worse she knows she's complicit to it so there's nothing she can do to change that.
6074797
Some of the downvotes, perhaps. However, I would argue that it's for a different reason.
Let's say for a second that you do see this as rape (because, to be fair, it really feels like a rape story). The problem with that is that the act of 'rape' here doesn't feel like actual rape. Why not? Because
1: They had spent the entire evening building up the romantic tension (as a pair. They both did so. Willingly.),
2: Soarin didn't do anything to Rainbow until she had already stripped down of her own choice, got on the bed with him by her own choice, and said "Yes, I'm ready" by her own choice, and
3: Rainbow never said a word during the supposed 'rape' asking for him to stop, nor does she ever make an effort to try and get him to stop (if she had and he'd kept going regardless, then yes, this would count as rape, but she didn't.)
It honestly felt like nothing more than bad first time sex, which while being something RD'd probably remember, is not something most people would act so melodramtically about. It feels like RD is blowing the issue out of proportion, treating it as rape when, by every meaning of the definition, it wasn't.
Now, if there was any part that wasn't consensual about it (if Soarin didn't allow RD to leave unless sex happened, if Soarin did it before RD had already stripped down, sat on the bed and said she was ready out of her own volition, or if, again, she'd actually made an effort to try to get him to stop and he just kept going), then okay. Fine. That would be considered rape, and as a result, Rainbow's reactions would've been very believable, and would be justified. However, for every part of this, it was completely consensual, meaning Rainbow's reactions come off as absurdly melodramatic.
I honestly wanted to like this story, considering how this is one of the only 'rape' stories on here that treated rape as something more than a plot device or fetish fuel; it treated it seriously, and quite realistically. However, it doesn't work when, by every meaning of the definition, what happened on that night wasn't rape. Anyway, that's my hypothesis on where most of the downvotes came from. Cheers
6399278 I down voted because this fic doesn't seem to grasp the difference between rape and whatever the fuck you want to call this. The author is giving us RD's POV where she encourages Soarin and never gives the slightest indication that she is unhappy with what is going down. She then convinces herself she was raped because the sex didn't go as she imagined and runs to her friends crying rape. This type of shit is a serious issue in the real world and puts into question cases of "real" rape where the victims are real.
I read the comments and some of them are kinda right: It's not much of really rape. Like for instance, she sais that it hurts and all that in the story but she doesn't really stop him from doing it, not even a attempt. But apart from that I thought it was fantastic.
I can put the feelings down too lack of an emotional element. Sex is meant too be one of the ultimate acts of love, there was no love here, just fangirl feelings. At worst he took advantage of her. This was hollow for her.
I'm no moralist prude or anything.
I'm a SoarDash shipper and for some reason.... I wanna kill my dad like right now.
6073408
I'm really glad to see this comment in here, because it partially answers a critical question I had about this story (which you're probably shocked is getting a new reader at this point!)
My impression coming away from this story was a bit confused. Mainly, I wasn't sure if you as the author felt that Soarin had raped Rainbow, and were writing a story about how a victim can blame herself for it, or if you recognized that she was actually right in that she *hadn't* been raped, even though she felt dirty, used, and violated.
What I'm wondering now is if you actually meant to write such a clear story about the sexual double standards we have, since if anybody *was* raped here... it's not Rainbow. She was, to all indications, perfectly sober and acting under no pressure but her own to go through with the (ultimately thoroughly unsatisfying) sex act. Soarin, on the other hand, was at *least* half-drunk, apparently enough that he's clearly having some difficulty speaking let alone performing. *His* actions come across as somebody who's acting under social pressure to "perform" as he's expected to, but whose response is to get sufficiently intoxicated that were their BACs reversed, everybody would be screaming date rape.
And probably be right to do so.
Now, granted, it's not like Rainbow got him drunk on purpose. It's not like she forced him to do anything. But if we're going by levels of intoxication, *she* went into things with a clear mind and never gave any indicator that she *wasn't* into it besides the fact that it was probably obvious that things sucked if you were paying attention and clear-headed. Soarin didn't.
Probably just as nervous and inexperienced and quite likely unsatisfied as she is - but since we're not in *his* head, we don't get to find out one way or the other.
And I'm wondering if that was on purpose, or just stumbled into?
8045277 it kind of just happened. To answer you 100% honestly I have no idea what the heck happened with this one. It had originally meant to connect to another story I previously wrote, but this took a turn for the dark side that I was not anticipating. I kind of looked at it when I finished and just said "what the hell brain?". I think what scares me the most about this story is how realistic it turned out. I know there are people who have been through experiences like this in the past and will continue to suffer from them in the future, and my heart aches for their pain.
I know it sounds like a cop out but nothing in this was really intentional. It started as something else and then progressed into what we see now. I purposely did make a point to leave out the police in this because like your said, the circumstances are too muddy to declare guilt in this case.
I'm sorry if I couldn't better answer you, but this is the best I'm capable of giving.
-Jake "Darkmetroidz"
8047303
That's kind of the answer I figured I'd get - nothing to apologize for, certainly. :)
I'd almost like to see a follow-up from Soarin's angle. May write one, if you don't object.
8049059 I would be interested in seeing it. Would you mind linking me to it?