Training and Familiar bonds.
I sighed as I finished crafting the wodden swords for the three trainees. Spike's had runes that protected it from his dragon flame. Of course that was for when he's old enough to learn. As I waited for vanguard to wake up I thought back to when celestia moved both of us to canterlot.
If was nearly five hundred years ago when celestia teleported into where we were left but she seemed a bit odd. Not entirely like herself. I knew what happened to Luna and us had effected her but it was like something happened that almost broke her. As we were being transported to canterlot her demeanor went from who I knew as celestia the warrior to her non battle persona almost permanently. As the years went by I noticed she only trained to stay minimally fit but on occasion I found her going by the spot we were at with nearly a full three layer cake. Then I saw she stopped training completely. How do I know she placed us in a training field in the castle grounds. The ones the guards used. Over the eons I would notice that the guards would have some potential but never reached it. Heck there was one I knew I had to talk to. A promicing unicorn with a talent for shields. Shining armor I think his name was.
It has been two weeks since I was freed and vanguard was awoken while twilight became celestia's personal student as well as my apprentice in the force. I had to teach her the history to catch her up with vanguard helping out. Soon enough the griffon and unicorn duo stood before me and vanguard looked excited to have a spar again.
"Okay you two time to see how good you are in basic swordplay. No magic allowed twilight this is pure physical work. This is going to help you out in the long run. By training you that magic is not to be relied on alone. Most unicorns tend to be weaker in physical strength because they get lazy by doing magic. In times of crisis magic is useful but your going to need stamina to even last in such times. What your going to be doing twilight is spar with vanguard here for the next few years to get you used to the exersize. This can also be a form of meditation to help you think on certain problems. And I'm certain vanguard has told you about light sabers. The building of one is a sacred rite for centuries. Until your ready you won't make one yet. As of now your the first I trained personally for centuries pick up your practice blade and begin. Vanguard teach her the basics and spar for two hours while I go speak with one of the guards about something" I said before finding shining armor watching the spar and I joined him.
"What brings you here cadet" I asked as vanguard blocked one of twilight's strikes.
"Just surprised my little sister is doing so well in this force thing. And vanguard while young is very skilled" said shining armor.
"Wait twilight is your sister? Hard to tell you are related. The only thing you have in domon is that double tone of your hair" I said surprised.
"Yep we are related. It's very rare that you can see a family resemblance in siblings here" said shining.
"Don't I know it looking back I had a hard time telling most of the day and night guards apart due to looking so identical I thought they were clone troopers in pony form" I said reminiscing.
"Clone troopers?" Asked shining.
"A army of clones of one guy with slight deviations. Original had no force sensitivity so it came as a surprise that two or three clones are force sensitive. My own armor here is actually based a bit off the clone trooper armor just remove the knight design. Almost impossible to tell them apart unless they have their helmets off. One confusing mess I'll tell you. Heck I think someone impersonating one was who sent me into this universe" I said thinking back. I really doubted it was the real captain Rex of the clone troopers who sent me here. Guy was a old man by rebels. Not the young guy who sent me here.
"I can see how you made that comparison" said shining armor as twilight blocked a slash by vanguard.
"Yep by the way I want to help you with your potential with shields" I said turning to him.
"Really" asked shining surprised.
"Have you ever tried creating a shield on your arm and tossing it at the enemy then catching it on the rebound? Someone used that fighting style back home in one of history's greatest events and with your shields you might take that style further then he did. I'll see about writing down the technique and you can go from there" I said making shining look at me surprised.
"You really think I can do it" asked shining.
"I saw your skill with forcefeilds I know you can do it. You can't be defensive without some offence to go with it. It's another balance that is absolute. Can't have one without the other. That's why the eclipse knights exist. To keep all forms of balance" I said imparting to shining a lesson.
"Your alright shadow" said shining.
" my real name is kage hikari, shadow light is just the translation to your language. But I'm used to being called that. Your sister fits the eclipse knights very well. With a name like twilight it was almost garenteed.it and dawn are the perfect blend of light and dark which is a balance. Don't worry I'm going to make sure she can handle herself and others" I said and shining relaxed.
"Okay time's up twilight your a quick learner but please continue to practice the movements until they are like second nature to you. Vanguard help her out as much as you can. But now it's getting late so pack up and let's head home" I said and the two children (though one was unknowingly centuries old the wonder of carbonite) nodded and went to put away their practice blades.
This continued for three years where the now twelve year olds added by a three year old spike who was going to watch was ready to learn the seven forms of light saber combat. I showed them the seven forms slowly at first so they can see and feel the movement before repeating in the normal pace for light sabers. When I was done I looked to the two.
"Remember practice the movements slowly then once you feel comfortable slowly increase the speed and repeat until you reach the standard speed I showed you. This is to help your reaction time and as I said before this is also a form of meditation. Though writing can also be one other form if you just want to vent out some emotions to clear your mind" I said with a pointed look o twilight who blushed and giggled nervously. vanguard smiled at her friend knowing how she got. Her magic studies were going well but I was still going to confront celestia about what happened to her soon.
I left them to practice and I went to locate celestia who had went over to have lunch. I sighed spotting the cake.
"That does it celestia we need to talk" I said visibly dragging her away from the cake as she went wide eyed with shock and I took her to the courtyard which was empty.
"What happened to you celestia you have been acting very differently for nearly 500 years now and frankly I'm worried I mean look at yourself your a shadow of the person I met so long ago" I said and I wasn't kidding she let herself go. Her muscle had become fat and her former slim waist was pudgy. She was a far cry from the princess knight I met when I arrived so long ago.
"I uh had a child but she was taken from me one night when I couldn't stay awake after raising luna's moon I looked everywhere but I couldn't find my daughter at all. My little polaris vanished without a trace. I was heartbroken that someone would take my little girl and vanish. Not long after that someone started up a sith fraction on the otherside of the planet. They haven't caused trouble but I'm worried about who would do such a thing" said celestia.
"Great talk about trouble that would mean someone back then betrayed the kingdom and not only took Polaris but also a force adept to start the sith. And where sith are formed Jedi are not far behind. Did any religious fanatics start up with some using the force" I asked.
"I believe so they call themselves the order of light. Somehow legends sprang up about how you helped us defeat discord and became a cult deity as someone only knew your last name and thought you are a Jedi. Honestly we both know your somewhere between the light and dark side of the force" sighed celestia.
"Kisama things are getting out of hand. I'm going to need to think a bit" I said but before I did I gave celestia a pointed look.
"Before I do so you need to get back into shape. If Polaris has your genetics she's still alive out there and it will take us some time to bring her back where she belongs. But you have to become the princess knight I first met so long ago before we can find her. Give her a true idea of who her mother is not a shadow of who you used to be. Also lay off the cake you maybe immortal but to much of that will have this effect on your body" I said and left celestia alone.
"You always knew just what to say huh brother" said celestia after a while and for the first time noticed the exact state of her body. Was this really the image her subjects see. What her daughter would see. With a fire that wasn't in her eyes in a long while celestia summoned her armor and winced noticing it barely fit on her and got back to training after so long. It was time she showed her subjects that she really was the goddess of the sun and not a ordinary princess. Her future brother in law while was a bit harsh was just what she needed to get her life back on track. In the coming years this decision would bring change in the future.
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You have an issue with capitalization. There are grammatical errors here and there.
Review:
Title:
Description:
First I would like to point out your spelling. Names should always be capitalized, and specific places should always be capitalized. You should also include some commas.
Statement:
I can already tell this story will have a lot of errors. Would you like me to edit this story? ~ Silver Spoon
6006139 I would appreciate that very much. My last editor went off the grid so I'm trying to find a new one to help. Just send the revised chapters through the pm until I can figure out how to let you edit the actual chapters. And like I said I forgot the full process of building a light saber for this story.
6006297 You could send me the story through email on Google Docs.
6006574 I don't know your gmail. Send it to me in a pm and I can see about it. I'll tell you my gmail in the pm so you can send it back.
This story,i like it.More
Honestly, I like the idea, but there's just one problem, the story is moving a little too fast, and you should get someone to help you edit this, I would help, but I see that you already have someone (but if you ever need a second opinion, I'll be happy to help!). I see potential in this story, try to pace yourself and I hope to see more of this!
Pace the story and edit it.
its okay so far, needs editing and the pace is a little fast but the plot does has potential just slow down a little and make sure to edit
I feel like it's to rushed
6089703 that's just it I'm working off limited knowledge of star wars. I'm not a fan of the series just the light saber and droids. Of course it would feel rushed, in all actuality I'm going to put this story up for adoption. I set the basis for someone to continue where I left off and maybe expand on it. So pm me if your going to continue this because as far as this one is concerned it's cancelled. I'm out of info as I can't find the exact process to build a light saber and more experts on star wars is needed for this.
do more chapters
10443092
Read the comment above yours plus its been stopped for over a good near decade now.
ten years or not I have been waiting for an update I'm not going too give up yet and so are you wont too
10638725
actually, it's because as much as I love playing the old republic I just don't know this fandom as well as my sister who is a major fan. that's why I put a neutral force up for adoption and at this point set up the basics with what I already got. it's mainly because I started this story not long after I started writing primarily solely digitally. and I was still learning the ins and outs of writing stories. the lesson I learned from this one was that if you want to write a story know the setting and have a good understanding of it. and this was back when I was 15 years old. I turn 26 next month I can readily admit I'm not a fan of Star Wars as much as my twin sister is and that impacted this particular story. I was hoping someone more aware of the star wars franchise would adopt this story and give it better justice than I have and ever could because I know my faults with this. if you compare this story to a glitch in Equestria you will see a vast difference between the two. I definitely know and understand five nights at Freddy's better than Star wars so the lesson I learned from attempting this story was definitely learned.
10639817
well I have read all the chapters in glitch in equestria so I'm just waiting for the next chapter too come out
10639864
and as I need to remind people I haven't actually played the games so I'm going to have to look up videos for at least plush baby's part of the dark rooms and the rest of the game, when it came to what I got so far for that story because with it being completely original from that point on its going to take a lot, longer just to get the details right and get things staying on track when it comes to the interactions of the characters. do you know how hard it is to write most of the girls? especially pinkie? The only ones I'm able to reliably write are sunset, twilight, and Fluttershy the others I have either a swing and a miss when it comes to keeping to their character. I got the first three arcs done so fast because the nights are pretty repetitive and not need as much detail but now that I'm passed fnaf 3 for that story I'm going to need the time to work out a lot more detail in comparison. fnaf three was always the point at which I knew the story would majorly slow down at because while the first three segments of help wanted are similar the rest of the game isn't so I have to make sure things have the same shift and thus will take more time to get down. a glitch in Equestria is right now at the point updates will slow down compared to when I released multiple chapters in the span of two to three days. I don't want to burn myself out stressing over the story which is why I don't set up an updated schedule at all. it's so I can work at my own pace and not stress out. when I get particularly inspired I end up doing the fast updates for chapters because I know the lore of the original game so well the rest not so much. I now have to balance the fnaf series and mlp bit a lot more and take my time with it. as far as a glitch in Equestria is concerned by the time I'm done with help wanted a week later in the story is when rainbow rocks startup for mlp so I have to keep in mind just how close I'm going to handle that with the additions of vanny and Marie to that event. and twilight reacting to Marie practically sharing headspace with sunset. I will admit I'm going to enjoy freaking the dazzling out with Marie possessing sunset at least. well, who knows with sonata and her reaction compared to adagio and aria.
10639906
lol I know but don't push yourself too much k