If The World Was Mine

Absolutely Disgusting12,205 stories ·606 members

Button Mash is sick of the world. He finds a weird artifact and makes the world his own. He is enjoying his new world, oh yes he is, but will other weird things happen. (Contains ooc ponies and one curse word)

Chapters (6)

Prologue · 29th Apr 2015 · 145 words
145
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Getting the Gang · 29th Apr 2015 · 155 words
155
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Prepping · 29th Apr 2015 · 499 words
499
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Button's world #1 · 29th Apr 2015 · 257 words
257
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School/ Button's world #2 · 29th Apr 2015 · 213 words
213
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Really? · 29th Apr 2015 · 213 words
213
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Comments ( 17 )

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Thaums

Thaums #1 · Apr 30th, 2015 · · 1 · Really? ·

one curse word

pray tell, which curse word?

Nikkori

Nikkori #2 · Apr 30th, 2015 · 2 · · Really? ·

5921908 Read Button's note in prepping.

Samey90

Samey90 #3 · Apr 30th, 2015 · 3 · 1 · Prologue ·

Third, I'm too chicken to tell Sweetie Belle I love her.

And for a good reason...
img02.deviantart.net/d509/i/2015/118/f/6/button_rekt_by_pony_berserker-d8recgj.png

Sdrawkcabsitxetsiht

Sdrawkcabsitxetsiht #4 · Apr 30th, 2015 · 4 · 2 · Really? ·

What's with the short chapters? Also, as for the rest of the story, I don't even understand it. If he was in a coma the entire time, that means you just used one of the most cliché twist endings in history. Also, having him in a coma doesn't excuse the other characters from being out of character. If anything, you're justifying keeping them out of character. It doesn't excuse them being out of character when he wakes up. And then he gets grounded at the end for no reason. It doesn't make sense at all, really.

Samey90

Samey90 #5 · Apr 30th, 2015 · 3 · · Getting the Gang ·

I ran to the big field. I see Sweetie Belle waving at me. I wave back. Rumble looks in my direction and flies over.

Problem of this fic in a nutshell. Choppy sentences. Tense switching. So much.

Nikkori

Nikkori #6 · Apr 30th, 2015 · 1 · 2 · Really? ·

5922034 exactly. I wanted it to be like that

Samey90

Samey90 #7 · Apr 30th, 2015 · 1 · 1 · Really? ·

Sweetie pointed out that your beanie was still spinning, signaling that you were alive.

Okay, that's so dumb that it goes beyond and becomes funny...

Nikkori

Nikkori #8 · Apr 30th, 2015 · 2 · 1 · Really? ·

5922071 exactly. Also, if you read CUTIE MARK NECROMANCERS YAY! It states Button killed himself when he was five, his mom revving him, causing he beanie to spin. Therefore, if he were to die, it would stop spinning.

Sdrawkcabsitxetsiht