The Coming of the Ponosaji...

by Mister E

Ponosaji vs Discord

Chapter Five
Ponosaji vs Discord

It didn’t take Rainbow long to reach Fluttershy’s cabin, nestled as it was at the edge of the Everfree. Given her recent experience she did not however simply crash through the window as she did at Zecora’s but instead landed at her front door and began to furiously pound on it.

“Fluttershy! Fluttershy!!! Open the door! Hurry, I need you find Discord, it’s an emergency!”

Movement could be heard inside the cottage and what sounded like stifled giggling, and she could have sworn that she heard a voice say “she needs to find you dear”, and then a different one “but probably not like this, thank Celestia she didn’t just crash trough the window”. Moments later Fluttershy answered the door, her mane uncharacteristically askew.

“Rainbow Dash, what an unexpected surprise. I heard you shouting through the door. You need Discord? And you said it was an emergency? Is everything all right?” Fluttershy asks, as she tucks a stray lock of her mane from in front of her eyes.

“No it’s not all right! I’ve been cursed! Somepony cursed me, and Zecora said that only Discord may be able to help me.” Rainbow says frantically. “Please, if you have any way to reach him I need you to do so as fast as you can!”

“Well, ask and you shall receive.” The chaos lord says walking up behind Fluttershy and absentmindedly resting a claw on her shoulder.

“Discord! Thank Celestia you’re here! Wait... it isn’t even ten in the morning yet. Isn’t it awfully early for you to just pop over for a visit?”

“Brunch” Fluttershy says, at the same time Discord says “Drapes”.

“Huh,” Rainbow says in confusion.

“Well you see Fluttershy has offered to make me brunch in return for me helping her hang some new drapes.” Discord says giving Fluttershy a sidelong wink.

“Oh yes,” Fluttershy adds quickly, “We’ve been hanging drapes in nearly every room of the house.” she says blushing slightly.

“And we really should get back to it.” Discord remarks. “We still have a couple rooms to go.”

“Oh, Discord,” Fluttershy says in mock exasperation, “those drapes will still be there to hang later, Rainbow Dash needs your help.”

“Yeah Discord,” Rainbow interjects, “Decorate Fluttershy’s interior later, this is an emergency.”

For some reason this causes Fluttershy to giggle uncontrollably and dash back inside the house, as Discord steps outside and firmly shuts the door.

“Alright Rainbow, let’s get this over with, just what IS your problem.” he asks.

“Somepony put a curse on me! It’s-” but then Rainbow stops as she sees an all too familiar figure lurching up the dirt road. “Oh Goddess! It’s him! He’s here already.”

Discord turns and stares at the gaunt figure. “Hmm, what is it? Some type of undead?”

“I don’t know. I woke up and it was in bed with me. It’s been chasing me around all morning, where ever I go. And when it gets within striking distance it hits me... with a spoon.” Rainbow finishes in a near whisper.

“I’m sorry, what was that last part? I couldn’t quite make it out.” Discord says raising a claw to his ear.

{Sigh}, “I said he hits me with... a... spoon!!!” Rainbow shouts in exasperation.

“He hits... he h- {Bwaahahahaa}, Oh Goddess, really? T-that’s brilliant! That’s awesome! Oh by Celestia why didn’t I come up with that?” {Bwahahahaaa}. Discord rolls on the ground laughing uncontrollably.

“It’s not funny.” Rainbow says in a hurt voice. “Zecora says he won’t stop until I’m dead.”

Discord rises up. “Oh well now, we can’t be having that.” He says snapping his claw and causing a silver cage to appear around the approaching figure. Now let’s have a look at that cur-” Discord suddenly breaks off his speech as he sees the Ponosaji effortlessly pass through the bars of the cage.

“Well that’s not fair at all.” Discord says as he floats toward the black clad being.

“Hmm. Very single minded.” He snaps his claw again and a pit of bubbling tar appears in front of the Ponosaji. Without hesitation it begins to lurch through it, never slowing a step. Discord conjures a portal to another world in front of it, which shatters upon contact. In desperation Discord conjures a treadmill beneath the hooves of the Ponosaji. He issues a sigh of relief as he watches it lurch in place.

“Whew. That should keep him busy for a bit. That is one powerful curse. Let me have a look at it Rainbow Dash.” he says as he waves his claw before the cyan mare.

Slowly a lattice of reds and blacks oozes out of every pore from Rainbow Dash to hang suspended in mid air before Discord. A thin cord of red and black still attaches it to Rainbow Dash, and along the edges both can make out a slight purplish glow.

“Well, if nothing else, at least we know who cast the curse on you.” Discord says with a wide grin. “See that purple there?”

“Twilight Sparkle?” Rainbow says in disbelief. “TWILIGHT cursed me?!?!”

“Oh yes,” Discord says with a chuckle. “You must have done something pretty bad, to make her hit you with something THIS complex.” He says, gesturing at the intricate spell matrix.

“Um, well... I kinda sorta HAVE been pranking her a bit lately.” Rainbow says, rubbing the back of her head.

“A bit?” Discord asks cocking an eyebrow.

“Well, more like nonstop... for the past few days... and I might’ve ruined her new princess hat.” Rainbow admits.

“And Twilight it seems, has taken exception to that. My, my, I never knew she had it in her.” Discord says in amusement.

Suddenly the sounds of crashing gears pull him from his musings as he turns to see the Ponosaji step from the wreckage of the burned out treadmill and continue lurching forward.

“Oh for the love of Leeroy,” Discord says in irritation as he snaps his claw once more causing a chasm to appear in front of it stretching as far as the eye can see in either direction, and deeper than light can reach.

Without missing a step the Ponosaji steps forward, and falls into the dark abyss.

“That should give us a bit more time.” Discord says, turning back to the spell, as he begins to study it intently.

“Well,” Rainbow says impatiently, “can you destroy it?”

“Oh easily,” Discord says offhoofedly, “of course if I do, it will kill you instantly.”

“Uh noooo, let’s not go with that option.” Rainbow says her eyes going wide.

“I need to find just the right link, the right thread to unravel it.” Discord moves a claw a mere hairs width from the spell. “I think right here. If I carefully pull this strand it sh-”

But just then both are startled as an implosion of air and a flash of light occur as Twilight Sparkle teleports to the ground before them.

“I got here as quickly as I could.” She says, out of breath. “I got all the research I could find on the Ponosaji from the library and... um, Rainbow? What’s going on with Discord?”

Discord for his part, startled by Twilight’s arrival had accidentally thrust his claw into the spell matrix.

The three watched in horror as the reds and blacks of the spell crept up Discord’s arm, clinging like tar. With a final pop the last strand left Rainbow Dash, and they watched as the spell slowly sank into Discord’s flesh.

“Ponyfeathers!” He says. Then turning to Twilight, “words cannot express the unbridled joy I feel toward you at this moment Twilight Sparkle!” Discord says in tones of pure anger.

“Um, Discord...” Rainbow says as she points a hoof back toward the chasm.

There, all can plainly see the figure of the Ponosaji emerge. Wordlessly it lurches it’s way to the group. Facing Rainbow it raises it spoon high to strike, and then quickly turns and hits Discord squarely between his horn and antler.

{Tap!} “OW! Blast it, that DOES hurt!” Discord exclaims.

“I know, right?” Rainbow replies.

“Give me that!” Discord says, snatching the spoon out of the Ponosaji’s hoof, and disintegrating it.

“I should have done that in the first place!” Rainbow remarks.

Wordlessly the Ponosaji unzips its black hoody to reveal rows upon rows of spoons in every shape and size. Twisted wooden spoons filled with dark magic, ethereal spoons to strike the intangible, diamond spiked spoons to crack through rock, adamantium spoons to wear down the toughest armor. The Ponosaji selects a bright and shiny silvery spoon. Twilight’s eyes widen in surprise as she realizes what it is.

“That spoon is infused with pure order!” She says in wonder. “Discord don’t let him hit-”

{Tap!} “OWW! By Celestia that REALLY stings!” he says before quickly teleporting away.

The Ponosaji turns, and gazes off into the distance before quietly fading away on his own.

“Whew! Well I’m glad THAT’S over.” Rainbow says, turning to face Twilight. “I gotta admit Twi, that was a pretty good prank.”

“Well, just remember, I still have that spell book.” Twilight replies.

“Oh I’ve learned my lesson Twi.” Rainbow says, raising her hooves in mock surrender. “No more pranking the aspect of magic. No way, no how.”

They both turn as Fluttershy emerges from the cottage.

“Oh, hello Twilight. Um, where did Discord go? We still have a lot of... um, redecorating to do.” Fluttershy says, blushing slightly.

“Yeah, we should probably go help him.” Rainbow says. “Any ideas Twilight?”

“Well when in doubt, let’s do what we always do. Gather the girls, and hit it with the Magic of Friendship.” Twilight replies confidently.

Two weeks later...

Spike hurries through the halls of the Castle of Friendship, carrying an overloaded tray in his claws.

He makes his way into the map room, and without comment, begins to pass out the trays contents to those gathered around the table. After the last warm towel and bottle of aspirin has been distributed, he pauses at the door to gaze at the assembled. Five ponies, four alicorns, the lord of chaos, Queen Chrysalis, Angel Bunny, Anon, and King Sombra (the latest addition), all sit with their heads propped up by a hoof, hand, or paw, staring dejectedly at the map before them as each of their individual Ponosaji’s repeatedly hit them on their heads with their spoons.

Spike quickly exits the room with a shudder, as a chorus of endless tapping follows him down the hall.

Comments

[gamer4COD]

Fuuuuuuuuck, don't they know the joke that goes with this, just take the spoon, and wack him with it.

[Mister E]

5909842 Well there was that one attempt to use a spoon against a Genosaji... https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=t9-faa56l-s
It um, didn't end well...

[SomeBloke]

SILVER SPOON'S DAD!!!...Sorry had to say it, great story by the way

[Mister E]

5913017 Silver Spoons dad?!? That's friggin awesome!
And now you put the idea in my head... Hmm.

[SomeBloke]

5913780 Silver Spoon would be either thinking how cool it's to have a dad like that or be embarrassed or even being carefree about it.
I just imagine her saying this at one point:
"But dad, I don't want to hit somepony with a spoon today!"
"......"
"Fine! If I hit somepony, can I go to Tiara after dinner?"
"......."
"Thanks dad!" *hugs* "I promise to hit them hard!"

[lord baron]

5916497
I have had similar thought with a budding new evil genius and his mother
it would go something like this

"and tomorrow I shall rule the world"
"yes dear, but even super-villains need their sleep"
or maybe
"dear, I told you no henchmen on the patio"
"aww, but mom, I need them to keep waatch"
or
"you dont get to go play with superman unless you eat your vegetables"
or
"dont forget your Death Ray dearie"
"mom, it's not a death ray, it's a super-laser, there's a difference"

these quotes are putting very cute images in my head, am I the only one?

[SomeBloke]

5993433 You're not the only one

[lord baron]

5994902
if anyone wants this idea, they can have it, I consider my ideas to be just an inspiration, since I dont have the attention needed to finish (or really even start) a story

[watstha]

This needs a sequel XD