The Pain Of Loss
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Blood streaked the floor and walls, and Bio-Mechanical body parts were strewn about, littering the floor. Five Recon Operatives moved down the frightening hall, guns ready, attentive.
“Sweet Celestia… Who or what could have done this to a Changeling hive of thousands?” Shadow, the leader of the team, thought, feeling queasy as he moved briskly down the corridor. As the group and him neared the end of it, it split into five directions to either side. He signaled to stop, and looked at his options. He was the leader of this Recon mission, and it was his duty to make sure that his peers and him made it back safely to base.
“Amethyst, Graymane, you can take that left hall. Razor Light, take the right corridor. I got center. Move, people, we don’t have all day.” commanded Shadow. They gave brisk nods, and went down their respective designated areas.
Shadow took a deep breath, as he made his way down the hall. Blood, which was still barely warm, stuck to his shoes making him soft ripples in the red substance.. He was already anticipating the worst, and was hoping to god that there was no threat down his hall. Instead, he came upon a door that was open slightly. Taking a fearful but motivated breath, he pulled out his radio transceiver, and gave the O.K for his mates to storm the room when they arrived.
“North clear, but uh, we have another passage to move through. Clear your halls and get your asses over here.” Shadow muttered, keeping his gun trained on the door. He cautiously awaited his comrades responses.
“North East clear, backtracking towards you Shadowderivara.” Shadow let out a sigh of relief, and listened carefully for the other response.
“Northwest clear.” He nodded, thankful the whole team was safe.
“Alright get your sorry asses over here, we have a job to do.” Shadow didn’t move from his position, for fear of succumbing to death. Who knew what was in that room. He wasn’t the one to just up and walk in like a cluster-fuck, ready to screw up the mission.
Eventually, the rest of the Recon team assembled by Shadow, awaiting his orders as they theorized what exactly lurked behind that door. Shadow, who was by now quite spooked, pushed open the door. It swung open, to reveal blood. Everywhere, electrical sparks began to ignite for brief flashes, exposing various parts of the room. The blood… much like the walls and floor of the halls, it littered the floor like somebody had a red dye water balloon fight.
However, what may have been the most disturbing part of the scene was the weeping man on the floor, cradling a young woman with purple hair. The girl wore casual clothing, and wasn’t of much interest to Shadow.
Shadow instantly pulled out his Radio Transceiver and reported they had found a survivor in this bloodshed.
“Hey, yeah, so we found a survivor. What are we to do with him?” Shadow asks, desperately hoping that he doesn’t have to terminate anybody.
Base replied instantly, demanding an interrogation from the man.
“Alright, so what’s the name?” Shadow asks.
“Redsopine.” The man does not break eye contact from the young woman that he’s holding close. He seems very attached to this person.
“Ok Red. Are you fine with me calling you that? Yeah. Is she injured, deceased, or unspecified. You know, like a coma?” Shadow pushes deeper, wanting to find an answer.
“Shut up.” Redsopine growls, clearly not answering that question.
“Redsopine, I’m trying to help you. You know what? Let’s just skip that question. You are our only lead as to what the fuck happened here, so Redsopine, I need you to answer every one of my damn questions. You got that? Otherwise, I’m going to have to terminate you.” Shadow lies about the last part, but only to help with intimidation tactic that he’s supposed to be enforcing. “What is that woman’s name? Answer that question right fucking now, or you won’t live to see whether she’s alive or not.” Shadow orders, raising his weapon to Redsopine’s face.
“Her… her name’s Scootaloo. I just wanted to fucking protect her, but guess what fucking happens! Those mother fuckers killed her!” Redsopine begins to scream in pain, in loss, for what could have only been true love.
“Whoah, whoah, whoah. Who killed her? Hey! Amethyst, get over here and check on the girl.” Shadow throws more orders to the bustling pony group.
“Redsopine, I need you to tell me what happened to the Changeling Hive. Orders were to extract any and all intel, you are safe with us.” Shadow promises.
“I… I killed them. All of them. But I failed. I failed to protect my beautiful niece.” Redsopine says angrily.
Three Days Before~
Red’s phone phone vibrated with its resounding ringtone that encouraged him to pick up the phone. It’s the middle of the night, and nobody is even living with him. Moaning, he fumbles for the phone, only to watch as it plummets the floor. Jerking out of bed, Red catches the phone with lightning speed.
Groaning, he squints at the screen, looking for the caller I.D.
Scootaloo’s name appears directly next to the number, and all Red can help but do is sigh, just wanting to return to his slumber.
Answering the phone he takes a deep breath, ready to tell her to just go back to bed.
“Scootaloo, what the hell are you doing… It’s the middle of the night, and we need to get to sleep. Hey, where’s Dashy?” Red sat down, rubbing his face as he tried to maintain focus.
“Uncle, I need you to listen right now. Buck, I think that they got in… Me and mom, oh god, mom is bleeding, a-and, there is something trying to get in… I think it’s in now…” Red’s niece, Scootaloo, is now crying. Red has no idea what exactly is happening right now, and is desperately trying to understand.
“Scootaloo, do you mean burglars? Are there people trying to take your things?”
“NO! They’re here uncle, oh god… STAY AWAY FROM MOM, YOU MONSTERS!“ Redsopine is now freaking out, freaking out for fear that something bad is coming to his loved ones. Without really thinking, he moves on instinct, and begins to yell into his cellphone as he pulls on some jeans and a hoodie.
“Scoots! Scootaloo listen to me! I’ll find you, stay right where you are!“
Redsopine yells as he groggily runs to his car, then realizes that the phone had cut off, exposing silence to the other end. He was scared, for his very close family. If there were burglars, he was about to teach them not to fuck with him, nor his family.
“Shit!” Red started the car, and pulled out of the driveway in a hurry, damn near almost hitting a mailbox. He had absolutely NO time, and no patience for this.
He pulled out the glove box and removed an M9, locked and loaded. He was speeding at an alarming rate towards his sister, but didn’t care at all if he hit another car. His main priority was set on defending them, at any cost.
Redsopine saw his sister’s house incoming, and saw the front door wide open. He began to panic, hoping to Celestia that she and Scootaloo were safely hidden.
“Who wants a piece of me first, mother fuckers?” Redsopine yells angrily.
Red looked from left to right, looking for some clue as to where that his family were.
“Scootaloo, Dashy, where are you guys!?” Red called out.His heart began pumping, and adrenaline ran through him like the blood that sustained and supported his life.
“Jesus, UNCLE! H-hey, we’re up here, are they g-gone?” Scootaloo’s voice responds almost instantly. Red ran quickly up the stairs, clutching the M9 as if his life depended on it, which it didn’t. Scootaloo rushed over to Red, but he casually pushed her away. He needed to make sure that Rainbow Dash was fine. He opened her door, and quickly secured the room.
“Oh god, Rainbow. Rainbow, wake the fuck up, we need to get moving, and get out of here.” Redsopine desperately shook Rainbow Dash, who was clearly unconcious.”Sis, we have to get going. I need you to wake up, alright?” Scootaloo was nervously pacing the room, hoping that Dash was fine.
After almost five minutes, eventually Rainbow Dash slowly opened her eyes to a worried Redsopine, and her suddenly overjoyed daughter.
“Redsopine, what… Ow, why the buck am I bleeding… Scootaloo, aw buck, g-get me some water please…” Scootaloo nods, and rushes out of the room, slamming into the doorway as she leaves. Rainbow Dash grits her teeth as she looks down to reveal a shirt that Redsopine is pushing tightly against her stomach. “H-hey, look at me Red. Please t-take off the shirt, I… I need to s-see the damage…” Rainbow Dash looks up, pleadingly into her brother’s eyes, grimacing in pain.
“D-dash, I… I don’t think you need to see this…” Redsopine stammers, but Rainbow Dash keeps giving him the same pleading look, the need to know. It’s what comes with being human, always having a thirst for knowledge, the need to know, the need to feel.
Redsopine then, unwillingly, slowly removes the makeshift bandage. Blood slowly pools on the floor around them as Rainbow Dash begins to choke. It is very clear that if Redsopine had not arrived at the time he did, then the odds of this being fatal went up by almost one hundred percent. She motions for him to replace the shirt on her torn tissue, and lets out a long sigh.
“Why does it seem like every t-time we see one another, the other one i-is hurt??” She attempts to stand but makes it about as far as someone in this shape can go, before falling back in a sweating heap.
“Sis, don’t push yourself. You’re in real bad shape. Did a burglar cut you? And what’s with all this strange green blood?” Redsopine grabs a pillow, and leans Rainbow Dash forward so he can move it under her.
“Some kind of b-bugs, Bro, one even bit me. God this fucking hurts... I… I don’t even know if I can…” Dash stops talking, and her eyelids slowly fall.
“Dashy… Dash wake up.” Redsopine looks down into her sister’s slowly closing eyelids, and panics.
Redsopine grabs Dash’s arm, and snaps it, to get her adrenaline running so she can remain conscious. Tears swell up in his eyes as she screams, and he knows that it’s time to use the crystals.
"Dashy, sis… I love you, just hold on… I’m gonna heal you, fix you right up and good okay?” Redsopine then pulled out two strange looking crystals, much like the same ones from Equestria. Red then shoved one towards his sister. “Sissy, look at me. I need you to eat one of these crystals here, and then all the pain will go away. It will also keep you awake as I try and fix you up.” I choke out, and then hold a crystal which in turn makes my hair glow.
"Ah!” Rainbow Dash cries out, as my hair seems to flow outwards, reaching towards her. “W-why can I e-eat crystals, and WHY THE FUCK IS YOUR HAIR GLOWING?”Her arm, still bent at the strange angle he forced it into, shakily reaches up to touch his face, still fearful of her brother.
"Dashy, There’s a ton of stuff that you've yet to learn about me. When were a lot younger, I began to study crystals and had the opportunity to study these specific crystals in question. The crystals are edible, and will numb all pain throughout the whole body. This will also give the user of the other crystal the chance to heal basic wounds. The crystal will glow in a second, just hold on sis’.” Red then ran downstairs for a bowl of water, which he promptly filled with water. With speed, grace, and worry, he hurriedly crushed the crystal and ran upstairs with one hand holding magical Equestrian gem dust, and the other holding a bowl of tap water. He kicked the door open, spilling a sprinkle of dust and water, and rushed back to Rainbow Dash’s side. Holding out the dust, he poured it into the bowl of water which he quickly mixed by swishing it around. With an even bigger desire to keep his sister alive, he carefully, but quickly held the bowl to the slowly dying Rainbow Dash’s lips and asked her to swallow. Red knew the mixture would thicken into a sort of pasty treatment, but it was inside of her now. There was only one thing he had yet to do, and he was reluctant to do it.
“Okay Dashy, okay… Hey are you listening to me?” Red promptly looked to Dash, who was bleeding fast. However, she gave a soft nod, then looked up tiredly.
“Okay, what you just drank will heal minor wounds, and will make sure that you don’t have internal bleeding. It will fix that up too, but there’s something I need to tell you before we do this.” Redsopine closed his eyes, and then began to feel the wave of emotion he felt before hit him full force. “This treatment takes a lot of heat to get it moving, otherwise it stays as a paste. I’m gonna have to burn you Dash, and it’s going to freaking hurt.” Rainbow Dash sadly nods again, too tired to argue.
Reds hair sets alight as a flame appears on his hand, burning as hot as magma. He turns it down a notch, and then holds the flame close to her stomach.
“Ready Dash?” She nods for the final time, and Red places the flame directly next to her stomach.
“FUCK FUCK FUCK…” Rainbow Dash screams due to the intensity of the flame, and Red forces himself to look away from her burning flesh. However, he can tell that it is working due to the fact that the scars that were once on her arm are slowly fading. Rainbow Dash however, is so weak that she can not handle any more pain. Although the crystal did numb most of the pain, this pain was still beyond unfathomable. She passed out, and slumped against the wall.
Red hesitantly stops holding the flame to her stomach, and blows the heat off of his hand. He had mastered magic whilst an Equestrian, and whilst there had a deceased Unicorn’s horn crushed to a dust. This dust was then laid thickly onto his hand, and he could then use magic spells which were casted from his hand. No horn was needed, no wand. Just him. The only reason for the M9 was due to the fact that most magic took quite a lot out of him. Unicorn horns were meant to store magic, and cast it. A hand was meant for simply casting, and he had a small storage unit close to his heart which had been implanted there long ago. Slowly, he touched his sister’s cheek, and sighed.
“Aw fuck, where’d Scootaloo run off to…” Red then realized that she had been missing since Dash asked her to retrieve her some water. “Scoots! Oh god, Scootaloo!” Red, in a panic, rushed downstairs. He ran to the kitchen, hoping she’d be right there at the dining table sipping at a cold Coka-Cola, chatting with
her friends over the phone, and then glance over and be like;
“Oh shit uncle, what up?”
Red would much rather his niece to have completely forgotten her mother than for her to be missing, or worse, abducted. In a hurry, Red pulled his smartphone out of his jeans, then placed his M9 in between his belt and his pants.
Without wasting any time, he hit speed dial, and most of Dashes friends name’s popped up. Red had very little friends, and his family was all he cared for.
They were the only people worth talking to, or listening to. If they had a problem, he fixed it, but he wasn’t the only one there for his sister and niece. With a bit of thought, he called Applejack due to the fact she lived closest.
Redsopine impatiently leaned on the wall next to Rainbow, and frantically tapped his foot to the beating of his heart. Rainbow didn’t have time. He may have saved her from blood loss, but that wound would be fatal if she did not get surgery to replace the skin. He had no cooling crystals with him either, so he was out of luck. He just had to hope to Celestia, who he hoped was watching him from Equestria now, would be kind enough to spare his sister…
Otherwise, she would forget all about him when she was resurrected in Equestria.
“Ugh, it’s three in tha mornin’, who the heck are ya to wake up tha whole Apple family?” Suddenly, Applejack tiredly, and very grumpily answers the phone.
“Hey, it’s me Redsopine. Remember, Dash’s brother? Yeah, I need you to come over to her house and get her to the hospital. I think some burglars broke in, and she looks pretty banged up. I have to go find Scootaloo, she went missing. Can you please come get her, she’s on the verge of death.” I whisper the last sentence, not really wanting to believe that my sister is going to die. She can’t, not by some punks who want to steal her shit.
"Scuse’ ma language, but holy shit. Here ah come, be there in a sec. You go get little Scoots’.” She then hangs up, and I quickly pray for my sister.
1 Hour later
“Listen to me mother fucker, where the fuck’s my sister Rainbow Dash?” Red had gone on a search for Scootaloo, and hoping that he could find her in the hospital was basically his last hope. However, the fucking man at the front desk would not give him directions to her room.
“Sir, I will not be spoken to in such a matter. I can not give out that information, as you very well may be here to finish her off.” He says calmly.
“Bitch, if you think I’m here to kill her, then think again. I’m here to kill YOU mother fucker, and if you tell me where she’s fucking at, I won’t blow your fucking head off.” Red growls, and then pulls out the M9. The man’s eyes widen, and he holds up his hands. Shooting into the ceiling, he screams in anger. “THE FUCK IS
MY SISTER?” By now, most of the people in the room had ran off, yelling for other doctors to evacuate the building.
“O-oh… She’s r-room 419, now p-please don’t kill me…” He moans, and looks to the sky begging for mercy.
“Good little doctor. Now get the fuck outta here before I shoot up your house.” Red points the gun to the door, and the man bolts, and almost trips.
Red on the other hand, moves briskly towards the elevator. He presses a button, and waits a bit too impatiently. The door dings, and a family of four, with two kids, are met with the horrifying sight of a man who is on edge aiming a pistol in the cramped space.
“Get out of the fucking elevator before I shoot Jimmy.” Red growls, then shifts the gun to the little boy. The family runs out, but not until Red confiscates their cell phones and smashes them under his sneaker.
Redsopine finally arrives at his sister’s room, and kicks the door down. The sight that meets his eyes makes him choke.
A blanket is draped over the bed she is supposed to be laying on.
Blood soaks the blanket, and the heartbeat meter is dead.
That’s all that he needed to know, before he slowly closed the door, and leaned on it to feel the full wave of grief.
He had one mission now, and the song, the song of family pulsed through his veins. The punks that did this were about to eat shit.
Changeling Hive
Location Unknown
From the shadows a Changeling whistled. He was carrying a little girl, and he had been the luckier of the five of the Changelings that had assaulted the mother. The girl was banging weakly on his head, but he knew that she couldn’t hurt him. She was far to weak to do that, and his skull was far to thick. Simple as that. He was getting annoyed by the constant pounding, and when he got to her cell he was fed up.
“Look here, little girl. I’m done with your shit. So fucking stop.” With that, he tossed the little 12 year old into the cell, dusted off his hands, and locked the door, before swiftly walking away to report to his queen.
A girl, one who was in the cell before Scootaloo, rushed over and untied her. This was difficult, as Scootaloo was writhing in the dust.
“Ow… That bitch… Ugh, thanks. I don’t suppose you have a key for us to escape this cage to get that mother fucker? What’s your name, anyways?” Scootaloo spat out some dirt, and looked to her savior.
“No, I don’t believe that I have a key. Sadly. Oh, and the name’s Treble. Treble Star.” Treble lays down, eyes shut.
“Oh shit. You’re… you’re the Treble that disappeared five years ago?” Scootaloo then got a very bad feeling.
“Eyup.” Treble replies solemnly.
“Oh… Oh fuck. Where the hell are we, anyways?” Scootaloo looks around worriedly.
“Oh. We’re in hell, A.K.A, the Changeling hive.” Treble mutters.
Present day Changeling hive
Recon Team (Coordinates, X;788, Y;112, Z;-23)
“Okay base. Did you guys get that?” Shadow listened for a moment, then nodded when they responded with a positive. “Okay Red. They say you’re fucking crazy, with that gem eating and shit. Magical ponies, unicorns, holy fuck, is that a rainbow?” Shadowderivera then waves his hands around and clicks his tongue. “What drugs were you on man? LSD?” Shadow and the team laugh, and Red looks to the floor.
“You wouldn’t understand. You, you are an Equestrian as well. Everyone in this room is, we have counterparts waiting for us. When you die in this world, you assume your counterparts role in Equs.” Red explains, annoyed.
“Yeah? Well let’s just assume that you are telling the truth about this. Let’s just say you DID take down a whole Changeling hive, all by your lonesomes. Graymane, stop laughing.” Graymane was laughing, and he took out a small bag of Cheez-its for the rest of the story. “Oh shit, you got you some snacks? Well, you better share some with me! That’s an order, mother fucker!” The whole recon team was now relaxed, but still had some alert in their systems. Graymane sighed, and handed over the Cheez-its. Red watched this, and when everyone looked settled, he continued.
“I began hunting down those ‘Burglars’ right after that. I began the endless search for my niece and eventually got a lead. Some Changeling thought it’d be funny to come and beat me to death, but he made a fat-ass mistake there.” Red smirked when he saw a Cheez-it fall out of Shadow’s mouth.
Two Days Before
Redsopine looked down at the hole he had dug in the mountains, a place Rainbow Dash loved to go to. It was so high, and she was always here looking for a new adventure. A smile crept to his face when he remembered her amazing tale of running away from a bear. However, he was here for one reason, and one reason only. On a large, very expensive Tombstone, he had carved damn near perfectly the words to recognize her thirty two years of living. She was in Equestria now, she was flying through the skies. She had forgotten her old life, she had forgotten ever having little Scootaloo. She had forgotten Redsopine.
The tombstone read; Here lies Rainbow Dash. She was born loyal, and she died loyal. May she find peace in Equs, where a new adventure awaits her. An adventure where she can forget all mistakes in the past, and leave them for her family to loyally take care of, in respect. 2010-2047.
Requiescat in peace sister. May you find Harmony.
A tear crashed to the floor, and Red could not stop the feeling of dread. He began to openly break down, and as he looked to the sky for answers, he could not find any. Red almost died on the same night as his sister due to the fact that the police stormed the building. And he had to carry his sister all the way to his house. He had then placed his sister in his guest bedroom to look for answers as to who the fuck killed her. And/or stole his niece.
When he arrived, the whole place was covered in police tape. He kicked open the backdoor and began his search.
Not much came up. Despite the strange green blood, and bits and pieces of metal, there was nothing. Until he found the bodies.
He walked past the bathroom, not really expecting much to be there. Then, he turned to see a dead Changeling. It had a split open head, and Red knew instantly who had tasked them to kill his sister. Queen Chrysalis, someone who was not entirely sane. She was in the Human world, with a pony’s body. She was a real mean son of bitch, and she would honestly beat the living shit out of red with her magic if they had an encounter.
“Chrysalis! That cunt is going to have to be drinking her fucking cough medicine through a straw when I’m through with her! God fucking damnit, it had to be her?” Red moans, anger just pulsing through his veins. He kicked a hole into the wall, not really caring about how his foot felt.
Angrily, he turned to leave to search for the Changeling Hive. However, he ran right into a large Changeling. It’s mechanical face leaned in close, and showed off it’s mental terror in all it’s glory. However, Red was not afraid. He was fucking PISSED. He noticed a face behind the Changeling’s own, he saw another behind it. He grinned, unafraid, and spoke in a clear and menacing tone. Two smaller Changeling appeared as back-up, wielding M16’s, A.K.A man’s best friend. How ironic as this was now Red’s enemy.
“So your Queen wants me dead, yeah? Oh shit, she done fucked up with that. And ya’ll? You done fucked up trying to shit on my party. Well, once I kill a good few of you, the one who gets the unpleasant task of telling that bitch better tell her this, exactly like this; Guess who’s back? Back again? Red is back. Tell a friend! I’m coming for you, Bitch! Okay, get ready to eat shit mother fuckers!” With that, Red’s hands became claws, and he felt himself grow thinner. His skin became tough, and he stood hunched as wings grew to his spine. He smiled a cheshire smile and looked up. His eyes were a scarlet red, and that’s when the Changelings knew that they done goofed. He was a Wendigo. He screeched an inhuman screech, then charged the three frightened Changelings. He bit into one’s neck, then watched as the life seeped out of it. Red then shoved his claws into another’s face, instantaneously killing him. He turned to the final Changeling, pouting.
“Aw… Did you really think that you could kill me just like that? Usually I kill them slower, just to feel them die. I will do that to you if you don’t tell me where my niece is. I can find her without you, believe me. Or, of course, you be a good little soldier and tell me where the Ant Hill is! How bout’ that huh? You live your shit life, I get my niece, it’s a win-win. So whaddaya say partner?” The cheshire smile returns to Red’s face, then he holds out a claw.
The Changeling stares in awe and is struck with disbelief. Instead of shaking it, he shoots it.
“Ow, you son of a cunt! Time ta eat shit!” Red then grabbed his victim by the throat, and crushed it. The Changeling fell to the floor, and Redsopine searched the bodies. He found a letter to their Queen, which was addressed to a very specific location. Damn, they are stupid.
“So, the note was talking about moving my niece Scootaloo to Idaho. As she was my only family left, I figured I was her immediate parental figure. So, I headed home and retrieved my pegasus hoodie, which I of course enchanted, and then flew to Idaho. I found the hive a day later. I was, of course, greeted with the sight of at least ten Changeling guards guarding the entrance.” Redsopine finished.
“Alright, Mr. LSD. Did you get that, Base?” Shadow held the transceiver to his mouth, awaiting their response. The response he got was laughter.
Redsopine then casted a magic fireball into the wall, destroying it.
“Wanna talk shit some more, Shadowderivera?” Red growled menacingly.
“Oh shit.” Was his answer.
“Anywho, they somehow knew I was coming. Probably a trap. I tried diplomacy, but they wouldn’t fucking listen. So I killed every fucking one of them.” Red sighed.
Changeling Hive
1 Hour Ago
“You better tell me where my niece is, otherwise you are griffon meat, sir.” Red held a scrawny changeling high above the huge hive. The wind whistled in his ears, and the Changeling was panicking. He hoped for his Queen’s sake, that he would be spared if he gave out directions. However, he had none of his comrades to back up his story. They were dead, slaughtered by a little pistol. And they had M16’s. What the hell.
“Okay, look man. I don’t want to be Griffon m-meat, so you got lucky today. She’s in our prison, which is in our lowest floor. You’re on your own getting there.” He stammered.
“Good choice little boy. Now don’t go running to mommy to suck on her tit, or whatever the fuck you things do.” Red growled. He landed, and dropped the Changeling on the ground. With a bolt of adrenaline, he darted away.
Smiling, Redsopine opened the door to the Hive. He looked to the left, then the right. Strangely, nobody was in sight. He knew it was a trap, but he couldn’t see a trigger. Sadly, he had no idea that Chrysalis had a Changeling training a sniper on him. It wasn’t lethal, no. It was just a measly sleepy dart. Red took a step forward, and then felt the prick of the needle pierce his skin. Red instantly felt woozy, but he had one goal still. Get. To. His niece. After that, he could die for all that he cared. However, this was not to be. He fell, defeated, angry, and pretty sleepy. He looked up, in search for the bitch he knew was in charge of this operation. To his surprise, she actually stepped up in front of his eyes.
“Hey, Red. I know what you’re thinking at the moment, but somepony is a wittle sweepy, so he can’t even say anything… Take this dirtbag to the prison cells. Oh. And make it THE cell.” Chrysalis makes an emphasis on the last sentence, but Red’s a bit to sleepy to even comprehend what she said.
“Fuck… You.” And with that, he laid his sleepy head on the floor.
Redsopine awoke to Scootaloo pulling at her chains. His eyes were suddenly open wide, and he thrust towards Scootaloo to release her. She was the last person he truly cared about, and she had to escape. If she didn’t, then he was worthless.
“Scootaloo! Just hold on honey, okay, I got you… I p-promise I’ll get me and you out of here, okay? I swear!” Red began pushing to his beloved niece, searching her eyes for any sign of depression. Any sign of fear. Fear was there, yes, but he knew what would happen if she was left alone in the cruel world. She would not make it. Their time was not yet meant for Equs. “Baby, I’m fucking sorry. I’m so fucking sorry!” Scootaloo looked fearfully at her uncle.
“Uncle… There’s no reason to be sorry. You didn’t do anything, we are both going to get out of here.” Scootaloo was very afraid, but she knew that her Uncle would take care of her. He’d saved her from so much, and she didn’t see how he couldn’t save her from this. He could save her.
As if on cue, Chrysalis strides in with two guards and an uncomfortable looking changeling. The Changeling looks very ashamed, and is looking to the floor. It is about half of Chrysalis’s size, and has a blue cross as a cutie mark, as she is also a pony.
“Oh, you are awake now? Good. Say hi to Scootaloo, okay?” Chrysalis waves at Red’s niece, a wide smile on her lips. “Well, now that the remainder of the family is here, I guess it’s time to finish this. Zero, honey! Take care of Scootaloo. Please?” Chrysalis looks to the Changeling, and Redsopine suddenly realizes that this Changeling is a Queen. Due to her position, he already knows. One queen for each of them. One queen for him. And one for Scootaloo.
“Stay the fuck away from her! Leave her the fuck alone, just kill me!” Redsopine screamed, and looked angrily at Chrysalis.
Chrysalis raised an eyebrow, and looked to Zero. Zero was looking at the floor, unmoving. She was clearly different from the others. She felt sympathy, and Redsopine knew it.
“Mom, I… I don’t want to hurt them.” Zero looked up at her mother, and Chrysalis looked at her sadly.
“Zero. You know this must be done, and we have more of these ponies to kill. Please listen to mommy.” Chrysalis looks into Zero’s eyes, and Red begins to struggle. He looks desperately at Scootaloo, who is looking at him. She looks fearful, thoughtful, desperate. Redsopine waits for her to speak, as the two queens try to find a compromise to the situation.
“U-uncle, what do they mean by ‘the remainder of the family’? Is… Is mommy okay?” Scootaloo looks into her uncle’s eyes, and tears begin forming in hers. Red looks down, brief flashes of his own sister’s grave flashing through his eyes. “She’s fucking dead. Isn’t she? Uncle, she’s fucking dead, ISN’T SHE?” Red isn’t listening to his niece scream, for anger, loss, and utter betrayal. He is listening to the thrum of his heart, the music of loneliness being strummed on a guitar. The guitar representing the sweet but angry tone, and the notes representing the loneliness. The anger of being alone.
“YOU ALL FUCKING SUCK! HOW COULD YOU KILL MY FUCKING MOM?” The two queens stopped talking, and were now looking down at Scootaloo. She was desperately trying to escape her chains. “YOU FUCKING BITCH, I’LL KILL YOU! I’LL KILL YOU!” Scootaloo desperately slammed her cuffs against the chains of the cell, feeding off of her anger. Her desire to murder the bitch that had her life ruined.
Treble Star was lying on the ground, eyes shut tight. Small tears beaded her eyes, and all she could do was turn away from the violently grieving girl.
“Zero. Put her out of her misery, wouldn’t you want that?” Chrysalis looked at her daughter who was now shaking with sympathy. “Baby, I know that what I’ve done is horrible, yes. But really, do you think this girl wants to continue her life? Without her mother?” Chrysalis cooes.
“Stay the fuck away from Scootaloo!” Red protests, new determination in his veins. He pulls at the chains, only to be held back, away from Scootaloo. Away from freedom, which is so close.
“Mom… you fucking killed her…” Scootaloo crawls up in a small ball, unable to receive physical support from anyone.
“M-mom, I can’t kill her, j-just look…” Zero points a shaky hoof at Scootaloo, who is now weeping heavily, filling the room with sobs.
Chrysalis looks at Scootaloo, and feels nothing. She only sees the main objective, and that is to become powerful. She opens the gate.
“Stay away from her.” Red protests once more. Chrysalis, however, slowly approaches little Scootaloo. She looks down at her chains, and pulls out a key.
Redsopine then sighs with relief. He’s thankful that Chrysalis spared the remainder of his family.
“Scootaloo. Get up.” Chrysalis undoes her chain, and orders her to stand. Scootaloo does not comply with the order. “Guards, come and get her.” Scootaloo remains unmoving as to guards approach her. They lift her up, so that Scootaloo seems to be hanging by her arms. “Scootaloo, I’m sorry about your mom. But things have already been set in motion. I have to finish this, whether I want to or not. Any last words?” Chrysalis asks.
Scootaloo’s eyes open. She looks around, fear back in her veins.
Scootaloo looks to her uncle. She looks in his eyes.
They share the moment, not lovingly, but with remorse.
Scootaloo begins to shout.
And then Chrysalis bites violently into her neck, ripping her throat out.
Redsopine blinks back tears, as his final family member gasps as blood leaks from her mouth. Her eyes meet her uncle’s for the last time, as one thought runs through her head.
He had one job. He had to save her.
“No.” Red looked at where Scootaloo once stood. She is now dead. She is alive. She is fucking dead. He had one fucking goal, and he fucking fucked it up. He let his little girl fucking die.
“I have to compliment, I’m sorry. Your family’s blood tastes very good. Your daughter will make a fine meal later, I’m sure, as will you.” Chrysalis sighs, and wipes
her mouth with her foreleg.
Red says nothing. He looks off, into some unforeseen land, as a baby pony is born. She was born now. She was with mommy. Hopefully. He looks off, not wanting to think about how bad he messed up. All he had now was the desire to hate, the desire to kill.
Zero stares wide eyes at the dead Scootaloo, and then looks up at Red who is shaking with anger.
“Mom, we need to bucking go. We need to get to the backup hive, now.” Zero said, fearful of the ever accumulating rage that was building onto Redsopine.
“Why-” Chrysalis then looked at Red, who was beginning to smile, beginning to smile at the thought of murdering every last one of them in that room. IN THE WHOLE COMPLEX. “Oh. You, contact every last guard in the building, and tell them to get over here. Red is going to blow, so get me an extraction team. We need to get to the Hive #981.” Chrysalis hisses.
The guard nods, and the two queens are escorted out of the now very dangerous building. Zero shoots a look over her flank, to see Red watching her intently. She picks up the pace, and leaves the man to his fate.
Red hyperventilates, and stands.
“Sit the fuck down, or-” A guard moves to seat Red, but gasps as he notices the chains are gone. He moves to run for the extraction, but is pulled towards Red by some unseen force. He screamed as he felt the man bite into his neck, ripping his flesh. Adrenaline pushes through Red, and he rushes down the halls screaming for the death to all the Changelings.
“So… They all died. Except the two fucking queens, the two fucking ponies that are going to pay.” Red growls.
Shadow looks at his now speechless transceiver. He looks up at Red.
“Okay. Thanks for answering my questions. First, we have to get you to base. Me and you should stay in contact, though. I could help you with this problem, but base has problems of their own that they have to take care of. Look at me Red. I can help you, okay? I can help.” Shadow sits by Red and looks to him. “We are going to avenge your family, I swear. They deserve better than that. And if I die, and end up in Ponyland, so fucking be it.” Redsopine looks up, studying him. The man tosses the empty box of Cheez-its to the side, to make room for an empty hand. “I can help you, Red. Let go of Scootaloo. We’ll make sure she gets a proper burial with her mother.” Shadow gently lifts the limp girl out of her uncle’s arms, and gives her to Amethyst.
“Okay, Shadowderivera. But I swear, as soon as this is over, I’m ditching you.” Red nods, thankful of Shadow’s sympathy.
“No, I’ll be ditching you! Hehe, I’m moving to Ponyland!” Shadow says, smirking.
“We might have to go there, if you want to use magic.” Red comments.
“Oh shit, we can do that?” Shaadow says, curious.
Red and him continue to discuss the matter, as they move down the bloodied halls.
Red knew one thing for sure. He was getting revenge.
Don't mess with Red. As pyscho mantis from metal gear said: your skills have improved.
Nice work!
7926245 man all credit goes to the amazing editorial work of http://www.fimfiction.net/user/ForeverLonelyYT
7926343 but still you get some Credit from me too
7926350 thanks
7926547 You're welcome
7926560 should i add a gore tag
7926990 I would say yes
Oh jesus, I died at the goofed part XD
7967734 thank my editor for that
7968038 I'll be sure to do that. I like the concept of the story!
Jesus....Red is fucking insane...
Not him that's claw whom I nerd to expand to explain 8398489
8399448
oh
It's a decent first attempt. I think with some solid formatting it could be a decent, quick read. For one, you jump around from scene to scene a lot. For instance, when it says "Changeling hive", or "Three days earlier," or whatever, do something like this.
Changeling Hive
Or something similar. Some fast readers, like myself, go fast as shit and often skip over stuff like that if it isn't very clearly a change of setting.
Other than that, this stuff goes by extremely fast. In about 8k words, you jump between - i think - five different scenes, bunch of characters die, we're introduced to a bunch of OC's and told exposition right off the bat. A lot to consume in so little time.
I'd suggest taking your time to reveal this stuff to the viewer. It seems you have the conclusion, or meatiness to a story, but not the substance - or the juice to actually make it cohesive narrative. Anyways, I'm out. Laters.
Also, use punctuation more often. End your sentences instead of making a whole paragraph a run-on sentence.
8496765
Thanks for the feedback I will work on it hopefully mk3 will be better set