(i recomend reading both chapters as they are hugely diffrent one was my orginal idea bit untidy and then the second is from my editor/co writers brilliant brain and no matter what they say im not taking of the co writer lol)
broken and bleeding a colt has a choice to make a simple question to answer what would you give
(Note this is my first real attempt at horror and while the fic has the word sister in it just to clarify its not by blood or adoption just friends close as family)
Chapters (2)
This is well written, I don't see any major errors and the story itself draws the reader in. It is a bit hard to follow at first since it starts in the middle of a fight but you can quickly put the pieces together and understand what's going on so that's not a downside. All in all this is really good and I'm looking forward to more.
10245375
sweet though lol as you see this is the first draft of it
10245406
Well I'm looking forward to more.
10245755
it was originally a oneshot attempt at psycological horror dealing with the events of guilt mortality and making a choice to run and live or fight and probaly die
10246131
I remember, you wanted my help on it a while back.
10246443
yup still not sure if i gkt it right lol
10246443
well its up with both original needing a edit and the new version to it
Hey, glad it finally got published! Hope you the best!
10265803
np have a read if both so you see the diffrences