Juntao112
Joined 11th Apr, 2013 ·
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I did not see that coming, but it was pretty funny!
~ Estrella Scrolls
The gardener/drill Sargent reminds me of this one pastor that would dress like a hobo and go to a church we was going to teach at and beg for money. The people at the church would ignore him and stuff so when the old pastor called up the new pastor everyone would feel sad and ashamed that they were so selfish and ignored him. Then the new pastor would teach them about a lesson related to the selfish behavior.
Ps. Love the story and the songs
5502234
Um my pinkie happy face isn't working so um... Yeah that shouldn't be there
I really enjoyed this! Thank you for including Silent Knight and centering the story around him. Airborne school for ponies that can fly! ;D
Great use of the songs throughout!
"Welcome You little fillies to Muther Rucker" - Nice little story but. . . Cold Dry air is the best to fly in , Low D/A.
Fort Withers Taxes , Planet Ord Coltafornia Muther Rucker Alibummer ARMY AVIATION at its finest.
5504286
Well, I figured cold, dry air is harder on the lungs...
5504314 A normally aspirated or turbo super charged Pegasus requires more work in high humidity ,high temperatures and high altitudes , Loss of wing performance can be up to 50% requiring lots more work. . .
Scootaloo flys a huey.
http://fc08.deviantart.net/fs70/i/2014/341/e/a/scootaloo_flys_a_huey_by_hillbe-d891l3o.jpg
Hmm... this story has really excellent potential and an original premise. Equestrias military presence and its branches is a great opportunity to explore the idea of war in Equestria. Your dialogue is easy to follow ( i love the Monty Python reference) and Silent Knight is an interesting protagonist that doesn't fall flat. I think this stories singular problem is timing. I believe that for a story to be readable and consistently enjoyable certain events in the story have to progress at a certain speed. This isnt easy, especially if you are writing a shorter story, such as yours. Thus everything stared feeling sort of rushed. Interesting and dynamic characters, (like that gardener) got thrown into the action (literally) a bit too quickly. I would recommend perhaps making the first chapter more about Silent Knight, keep building his character, and introducing the social issues and prejudices. Basically, I think the epic fight scene was a bit too soon. I am assuming you are writing more chapters! Please note that this is just my personal opinion and cant be completely ignored. Its a good work and you should feel proud.
5504549
Sadly, this fic was intended to be an exercise in writing a one–shot, so there won't likely be any more chapters. As you've noted, writing a good short story is very challenging, and it takes a lot of work!
It's a short read, but has some nice charms, like the little innuendo about Celestia and the reveal at the end. No spoilers. ;)
The song was a killer.
I like the story.
Very well done. Few little typos and some interesting word usage there. I like it. Great imagery. You gave a very good view of the world, really making it visible. Lovely songs, great work using them without it seeming silly. And you captured the feeling of Anzel's stories well. It really feels like an extension of his work, which, I think, was the goal.
5688718
I'm glad you enjoyed it! The idea for this story grew out of Anzel mentioning to me that he thought Silent Knight would have gone off to jump school. I also had an idea about tensions between different groups in jump school, so once I got the idea in my had, I had to get it out.
Very well done. I love this story. Reminds me a bit of The Golden Armor, but with a little more humor. 11/10.
I loved the gardener/drill sergeant! The song rocked. I've read Memoirs so it was pretty weird to see Silent Knight so chatty, but it was a good story nonetheless. I wish there was more about what happened next and the training in jump school they went through!
Kinda figured he wasn't really a gardener.
His cutie mark aside. Who else could beat up military students and not get so much as a reprimand?
Gory Gory what a heluva way to die
Dat cliff hanger ending :P
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