Fimfic Authors Are In Your Bed

by Admiral Biscuit

King Sombra Is In Your Bed, Turning It Into Crystals (JumpingShinyFrogs)

King Sombra Is In Your Bed, Turning It Into Crystals
JusmpingShinyFrogs

You've had an even worse Monday than usual. Between bitchy customers and crowded subways, as well a strange incident involving baked goods (suffice it to say, you'll never look at apple pies the same way again), all you want to do is just go home and flop down on your bed, whether there's a pony in it or not. All you can really hope for at this point is that it's not a changeling queen or a pyromaniac and perhaps is somepony cuddly.

You push open the door to your apartment and listen for a moment. No sounds stick out. Tentatively, you go to the kitchen and open the fridge. Aside from a few bottles of vodka you had to buy to cope with the pony influx, nothing particularly interesting sticks out. You grab a bottle of vodka and fill a shot glass. You walk to your bedroom, glass in hand, preparing to knock it back just in case.

You push open your bedroom door slowly, strangely curious to see just who's in your bed today. Surprisingly, nopony seems to be there. You walk the whole way into your room. Still nothing. Your bed is still a crumpled mess from when you woke up this morning, but that's normal. It actually looks inviting. You set down the shot glass and cautiously approach the bed, half expecting Discord or someone like that to pop out of nowhere and give you a heart attack.

When nothing happens, you breathe a sigh of relief. You stride over to the bed with renewed confidence and literally belly flop onto it.

Only to smack your face on a hard surface. You lift yourself off the bed and get a better look at it. While it looked normal from the door, now you can see the gleam of a shiny, crystalline surface that now forms your bed.

"Oh no," you groan as you realise what this means. The pony of the night is either Cadence or...

"Grargh!" growls Sombra, emerging from your bathroom, which is leaking a purple and green smoke. You can see the black crystal spires he's conjured in there, piercing the pipes and causing your sink to spray water all over the slick now-crystal surface of your bathroom furniture. He strides over to your bed and hops onto it, examining the crystals he's created.

"Um, hi," you say, carefully getting off the bed and making moves towards the door.

"You're tarnishing my crystals," says Sombra, in a guttural and deep voice. He seems to take unhealthy pleasure in the idea of your bed being turned into crystals. Still, you see this as an opportunity. You scramble to your feet.

"You're right. Why don't you just take the crystals off of my bed and leave? I'm sure there's better crystals for you somewhere that isn't here," you offer. "Maybe you could even lead the rest of the ponies to wherever that is."

"No, I will fix these crystals that you ruined, and then I will punish you," he says, glaring at you the whole time. You gulp, this can't end well.

Sombra lights his horn with a sickly mist of purple and green. The mist surrounds your bed, and suddenly the crystal of the bed starts to sparkle vibrantly.

"There," he says, "I have fixed what you broke. Now my crystals are beautiful again."

You breathe a slight sigh of relief. "So you're not going to punish me?"

"I'm feeling generous so no." He picks up a pair of jeans off the floor and examines it, before crystallising them. A pair of socks, a jacket and a pair of underwear follow, until every item of clothing on your floor is crystallised. Next he levitates your Playboy magazines off of the floor and crystallises them too. Soon your whole bedroom is crystals.

"You've provided me with so many pretty objects to make even prettier, that I'll let you indulge in a bit of entertainment," says Sombra when he's finished. The implications of that statement are terrifying, especially given that your week old laundry is considered 'pretty'.

His horn lights again. Suddenly, your room is a very different place. It seems to have no ceiling. You're at the bottom of a huge crystal staircase. At the very top, is your bed, still crystallised, and Sombra snuggled into the sheets of it. He peeks his head over the edge.

"You can have fun climbing my crystal stairs!" he exclaims as gleefully as a crystal-obsessed tyrant can. "Stairs and crystals," he remarks, "the best things in the world."

You turn around to the door, to see that the shot glass is still where you left it. You grab it as you leave.

"You can have the bed. I'm sleeping on the couch."

Comments

[Maxes Altho]

Just the first 30 seconds or so

[nioniosbbbb]

5483439 m.youtube links don't work on fimfiction. remove m. and you are ok.

[Maxes Altho]

5483461 Yeah, that makes sense.
Follow up question, are you just following me everywhere? because you keep popping up on the exact same stories I read and comment on...

[nioniosbbbb]

5483466 Oh no. Maybe I have the same interests or similar as you do. I am following your profile btw.

[FrostTheWolf]

5483439 You my friend have read my mind

[AppleTank]

There goes the house.

[MythrilMoth]

[The Space Butterfly]

...
At least the bed didn't explode this time....

[funbrand]

You've had an even worse Monday than usual. Between bitchy customers and crowded subways, as well a strange incident involving baked goods (suffice it to say, you'll never look at apple pies the same way again), all you want to do is just go home and flop down on your bed, whether there's a pony in it or not. All you can really hope for at this point is that it's not a changeling queen or a pyromaniac and perhaps is somepony cuddly.

Did it go a little something like this? (18+ plz)

[Podacious]

Stairs, Crystals, and Gak

[Europa]

"Stairs and crystals,"

He kinda has a point...

[Vutava]

"I'm feeling generous so no."

generous,