Tales of a Changeling Commander

by Grazy Polomare

A message for all you simpletons...

Ok, so I know it's been a long time since any of you "followers" of the odd changeling Morpheus have visited...but I have a question for you?

CAN YOU TAKE HIM AWAY PLEASE? LIKE BANISH HIM TO THE MOON? PLEASE?

I've tried and tried to get him out of my mane, but that blundering idiot has some sort of mind-reading ability. Not to mention what happened in Canterlot.

Oh...and don't get me started on Reflect.

I swear...these two will be the downfall of me and my plans.

So without further ado, I suppose I should update you on what that Swarm has been up to recently.

A documentary film crew visited us recently...haven't reviewed all the tapes yet.

I've been thinking of sending them out on a little excursion...

But really what can we do right? In the end, I feel any form of discipline will be blatantly ignored and exchanged for something else...like cider.

Anyhow, just wanted to see if any of you wanted to...I don't know...drop them in the desert for the vultures? Not anything harsh...but...yeah...okay it's harsh I know.

Sincerely,

The Totally Super Cool Future Villain Who is Somehow Involved in All of This

Comments

[Corona Blaze]

So much wat.

[Trigger Happy]

2911916 Exactly. You just read my thoughts.

[Grazy Polomare]

2924380

Hi and I'd like to thank you for your constructive criticism. Actually, looking back on this (as it was my second or third story that wasn't a one shot), I'd say you nailed it.

The middle of my story had a lot of rough bumps, poor grammar, and rushed scenes from my writer's block going on and off. I made the mistake of introducing too many characters to keep track of, which is one of the regrets I had when writing this story.

Therefore, I just silently dropped the ideas thinking they would dissolve (big mistake). I've realized from this story, that I like to do shorter stories which can easily be focused on, and finished as well.

Grammar on the other hand is something I really just need an editor for, along with another voice to tell me when I'm over-selling a minor detail.

All in all, I grade my story A for Effort, but not one of my best works. Since this, I've gone over and tried to improve my character development in later sequels and spin-offs. However, instead of focusing on multiple story lines at once, I'm simply trying to focus on one or two at a time, while providing some depth to the characters.

I feel that my story was rushed in a few parts, and that I could have done better on others. But I am proud of this story for helping improve my skills (if there are any skills I have). Now, I'm trying to focus on the characters I do have. Reflect and Morpheus.

This is a bit of a spoiler alert, but I already published the stories anyhow. (This part is moreover just to let you know how I've attempted to change it.)

For Reflect I have sat down and tried to picture a definitive image for him. Looking back, I see that he can work well as a conspiracy theorist and short-tempered personality. This works well in the changeling peace era because Reflect has come "undone" by this. We see the side of him that didn't really pop out in this story start to take shape. He is deteriorating primarily from the idea he has lost his own use. Therefore, he loves conspiracy theories because he thinks this will save his job.

For Morpheus, I don't really know where to go with him. Initially, he seems to have solved his problem but I feel that would be an insult to his rather arrogant personality in the beginning of the story. I feel that, at first, he was simply ecstatic over his promotion, and therefore was relatively happy. But as time grows on, he realizes his job as a guard is relatively boring and begins to revert to his old self: pulling pranks and being arrogant. And yet, it doesn't explain why he would be opposed to peace. Rather, that is a mystery to him. He can't explain his behavior, and nor can Reflect for that matter.

They are both coming to the realization that with this peace, their jobs and their lives are meaningless in this new world. And that is a contributive factor to their rather negative behavior to all this.

I'm trying to delve into the mind of someone who has been so attached to their job that change is not an improvement, but a threat.

Just some of my thoughts...but I will say that I appreciate what you said. Don't know of any editors interested in this story for the long haul, nor for any other story I'm currently writing.

I also thank you for not being belligerent in your comment-starting and ending with a positive note really helps-and I think it is safe to say that this story is done and that I am moving on to improve my writing style and character development.

[Razzy]

Okay then?

Cya
Raziel-chan

[Direct Access]

I don't understand a shit.
MC is massively changed for worse.
No likable characters.
What the flying feck is going on?

Not only this fic grows more and more boring, skips time massively, unexplained bullshit goes off in the background, you expect us to know characters we know no shit about, ending is idiotic and have no connection to the story before and MC is largely just loser who even became less and less likable with time and his behavior goes against what you say about him, i really think it's just a piece of hastily finished spin-off on whatever the crazy heck it is that is started as a something decent to be turned into a very frigging large mess.