Chaos. Order. Two opposing forces that cannot exist in harmony, yet must exist for balance to be possible. A delicate balance. One that should never be interuppted. Especially by those two forces spawning offspring...Oops, too late...
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My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic Fanfiction
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Love seeing that this isn't dead. Cant wait to see the serpent
9956908
Also. Too much sex. You don't solve problems in this story, you just follow up with a mismatched sex scene that eats through conflict faster than Copperhead's acid spray.
We don't get solutions, we get prolonged exposure to scenes we don't want to see. Once per chapter is too bloody much and when you keep doing it, all sense of said conflict just vanishes from the story because as we progress, we can be sure the main character will perform some random ass pull from out of nowhere and win.
He will then proceed to fuck his girlfriend.
That is your formula.
I'm halfway sure at this point that if he does end up in a conflict with his mother, halfway through they'll have a threesome with the prismatic personification of gay rights and the living embodiment of regretful wishfullfillment. ie. Dash the red nosed reindeer and Sol 'my asspulls are endless' Daybreaktheplotonmyknee.
9982873
Spoke too sooon!
I hope Sol is alright, been a number of years