Its your birthday and Rainbow Dash invited you to see the Wonderbolts at Canterlot. She takes you out back to meet her heros, including Spitfire. Spitfire invites you over to her place, and you two get to have some private time together.
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Review time!
Firstly: Just go read your story again, the mistakes that you made are minor, and so easy to fix.
Secondly: Show about 20% more detail.
Thirdly: Use more commas, they are very important.
Fourthly: Don't listen to trolls.
Remember these words: You are a slab of stone, waiting to be turned into a glorious statue.
5283378 u mean editor
Thanks guys. I really appreciate it. For some reason I get stuff done in a little hurry, don't know why.
But I'm really glad you guys enjoyed it.
5283116 "You are a slab of stone, waiting to be turned into a glorious statue."
Which is soon to be shat on by birds...
5289513 That was very uncalled for.........
5289623 oh yes, and why is this?
5289995 It was meant to be an encouragement, not a nightmare inducer.
5290037 well the voices don't lie...right?
5292829 Voices? Are you... alright, upstairs?
5296966
Thanks for that, should of thought of that sooner.
5293561 erm well, that is good question, the answer is, erm, thing? That Is a answer, now shut up and take it...
A tiny bit better.
It's spelled Champagne.
Otherwise, pretty short human x pony sex that ends as quick as it began.
5398524
Yeah. I was running low on ideas. Sorry it was a bit short, I used what ever that popped into my head.
:O Holy shit that was Real good. I enjoyed it
Did anypony order a pizza with extra sausage?
5488785 that was such a terrible joke I almost died.
Ehhhh, seems like it went a bit fast. BUT!
You still get a favorite, nicely done.
Ehhhh, seems like it went a bit fast. BUT!
You still get a favorite, nicely done.
Came after 20 minutes. That's an academy record.
6148334
?? This comment said nothing to deserve a downvote.
6222936 Hahaha! I don't know why I find it so funny that it got downvoted. XD
6563816
Yeah. It was my second story. But, I can't complain. LOL.
Ok imagine me and jontron on a couch reading this and action
prince:hey jon I cant figure out the frist chapter can you help
Jon: sure lets see wink kiss blow mysterious note tell him to meet her only one thing can happen
Prince:what.
Jon: SEX.
I’m pretty sure there’s benefits to having sex with the captain of the wonderbolts, right?
Excellent job, liked how she was so seductive~~~
Should have kept that uniform on though.