- Member Since 24th Oct, 2014
- offline last seen April 1st
Brony_Headbanger
Metal music, guitars, and model electric trains. Rainbow Dash is best pony!
Brony_Headbanger
Joined 24th Oct, 2014 ·
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It's generally a very bad sign when there are typos in the synopsis.
this is a great story headbanger. you earned a follower
I kind of like this story, but it could be better.
There are lots of grammar and spelling mistakes. Sometimes, the incorrect word is used. For example, I remember in one part the word, "taken" was used when the word, "taking" should have been used. Other times, a comma or a punctuation mark is missing where it is needed.
In terms of storyline, not bad; it could have been better though.
At the end of "Magic Duel," Trixie asked Twilight for forgiveness and Twilight accepted her apology. Because of that, the story seems a bit off. With that in mind, the characters seem a little out of character and acting like as if the events of Magic Duel never occurred. Did you ever watch that episode?
Story was okay but my biggest problem was the narritive exposition amd dialog seamed a little deadpan half the time, like only the bare minimum was used to explain anything
Great potential though, good luck with future endeavors
Check that grammar bro.
lol I need to read the next chapter, [hurry up an release it]! (that's what she said)
5663803
Thanks.
the pictures are unnecessary and distracting.
Depth?.... as in how DEEP something is oh okay then
umm did you mean "deaf"
great chapter, I can't believe how good this chapter is, only problem is how long it took for it to come out.
"{1st Person View story} {You X Trixie}"
I think you got 1st person and 2nd person POV mixed up, I mean it says it right there. "{You x Trixie}" That's supposed to say, if it were a 1st person story, {[Enter character name here] x trixie}. I'm not trying to sound mean, if I am, but good grammar means a good story, and a good story means happy readers.
Nice
SHIT GOIN DOOOOOOOOOOOOOOWN!
NOOOOOOOOOOOOO WHY MUST I READ THE ENTIRE STORY BEFORE ITS COMPLETE!?!? I NEED MOAR!
Wow this is getting interesting, I really want to see him cuss out the main 6 for being mean to him and trixie, and get them to cry?!! Wow
5871671
Maybe she was worried that he'd blow a hole in her submarine, charged as the atmosphere was.
a good chapter to a growing story do keep up the good work.
6250359
OK thane I did not see that coming.
Twi and Trixie who to pick.
that would be a super hard choice for me as I do like them both.
6441021
It really would man. I don't blame you.
6442165 what can I say I like them bout.
wins.
if I hade only the too to chose from. hum
now if you open the field up. well now that is super easy for me.
princess Luna all the way. after all I am a member of the Lunar guard.
6443058
That's awesome man.
Speak the truth bro!
Nuuuuu.... Who to choose.. This sucks!
never thought you'd call twilight a bitch buddy, you feeling alright?
6446856 why not both?
6515088 !!! Your right. I never thought of that. Lol.
6515099 How did you not think of that? And that's what'll probably happen knowing How Headbanger's brain work
6516988 It was kind of a joke... that no one got
6515074
Well, it's just a story. Can't complain about it. Like, I wanted this to be kinda of a dramatic feel to it. That's why I had him call Twilight a bitch, since that she now likes him and that she tries to separate him and Trixie. You get what I'm saying, right?
6517460 yeah, I get what you're saying
can we say a Trixie Twilight herd.
Great chapter my friend and good way to end the story
Sexcellent work Headbanger, sorry I haven't been on in a while, there was a bomb threat at my school
YAY I'M A FANBOY, NOTHING HAS CHANGED
IT'S NOT A PHASE MOM!!! THIS IS WHO I AM!!!!
Well...
media.giphy.com/media/ToMjGpjpXMFPshSYGLm/giphy.gif
9400810
"She's a bitch"
Me-TRIGGERED
Мне нравится Трикси, она красивая, прошла много горького пути и ее характер меняется, от этого она мне нравится еще больше! Но вот история так себе: главный герой какойто плаксивый школьник, а ей нужен мужчина который тоже не был идиалом, но при этом добрый и сохранивший чувство достоинства. (Человек)
It's really cool for a dude who has an opinion on interest.
wooooooooo... que giro!!