Humility

by Leoshi

Finale: Consequences

Celestia's quill dropped into an emptied inkwell.

Before her rested two open scrolls, each filled from top to bottom with their own messages. They were both meant as responses to a letter she had received from Twilight earlier that day, though the manner of those responses were wildly different from each other. She cast her gaze back and forth between the two, her decision as divided as the messages themselves.

On the left, her response was hopeful and understanding. She had written her reply to Discord's situation, and had included some instructions and advice on how to move forward. There were also many paragraphs that all involved helping him in various ways, including the idea to research his magic as deeply as her own. His magic, she reasoned, may have been the opposite of Harmony, but that didn't mean it was entirely evil. His own reformation had proven as such.

That letter was the first she had written. The ink had long since dried completely. It was meant to provide guidance and hope in the face of such a remarkable challenge.

She frowned, then looked to the letter on the right. The ink on this one still ran.

The second letter began the same as the first, but didn't share anything else. While the first had been hopeful, the second was not. Celestia had been honest with herself while writing it, and the result was the details of a dismal truth: Discord's magic was gone forever. But since this was Twilight who would read it, the letter would become worse from there, because Celestia would go on to suggest that Equestria was better off without such magic.

The simple act of writing the second letter had left a bitter taste in her mouth. She knew she shouldn't feel ashamed for the truth. Nonetheless...

Celestia's gaze moved from the letters to a random spot on her desk. The truth of the matter was loud in her mind, and she had written down that truth more out of desperation than a desire. Learning about Discord's loss of magic had proven to be a surprise, but as the hours crawled by, she couldn't help but see the opportunity this afforded her. Or perhaps opportunity was incorrect. Maybe it was a sense of victory? Relief? It was too early to be sure.

But nonetheless...she found herself more and more willing to let the magic remain lost. After all, Discord and his particular brand of magic had been the cause of so much heartache in ancient days. Celestia had never been satisfied with just him being turned to stone, not for what he had done all those centuries ago. Was it any wonder, really, that she had him put up in the palace garden? Put up as a display for fillies to gawk at and nobles to direct their sneers?

Turning him to stone was a mercy, and Celestia was nothing if not merciful. Still, she wished she could have done something more permanent.

Celestia closed her eyes and lowered her head. This latest news was the answer to a prayer she had said many hundreds of years ago, but it only troubled her, because she had finally made peace with the reality that Discord was above her. It was why she was so willing to have him make friends with Fluttershy in the first place: the perfect solution to accept his power for what it was while still making him humble. It was a compromise when she couldn't go to the extremes.

But now his magic was gone. Her wish had been granted.

Still, she hesitated between the two letters. The conflict within her raged on, with hope and honesty crashing against each other as loudly as an avalanche. It wouldn't do any good to show Twilight how much it pleased her to know Discord's plight, but neither could she disrespect her student with a hope she herself didn't believe. Yet she didn't want her student or her friends to suffer, nor did she want Discord to get away with his evils again. Such acts may have been done many centuries ago, but an ageless mind such as hers bore scars in the form of nightmares and regrets.

Seeing Discord betray her during Tirek's advance would always prove her fears. That, in turn, proved her own regrets earned from over a thousand years before. Worse still, the one thing she did not regret was making her wish in the first place.

When she opened her eyes again, she saw the two letters, patiently open to her choice. Which was worse: a hopeful lie, or a bitter truth? Losing Twilight's trust, or Twilight's faith? Securing a guaranteed peace for Equestria, or giving Discord the smallest of chances to betray her again in the future? Betray Twilight?

Never before now had Celestia known that she was still fighting Discord's magic. She wondered if he felt the same about her, if he was bemoaning lost chances to cause her problems in the years to follow. If she was right, then honesty would keep everyone safe. But if she was wrong, then Twilight would be encouraged to find a way to get the magic back. And if she succeeded?

Minutes passed by with Celestia coming no closer to a decision. She closed her eyes again, keeping them closed for a moment as she marveled at just how exhausted she was. She knew she had ruined her sleep schedule, but couldn't be bothered with it. A problem like this required much more than just her judgment, but she was too fearful to bring it before her sister or niece. Truthfully, she feared that they would support either idea.

Some time passed as she fumed. Eventually, she opened her eyes again and pushed past the glare of her candles. With a groan, she stepped away from her desk, instead moving to a nearby balcony. She gently pulled the door open and stepped through, all too eager to get some fresh air.

In the distance, she spotted the telling glow of Ponyville's own lamps. She had seen it many times over the years, and each time before it had brought her a sense of peace. Somewhere down in that gentle light was Discord, her old enemy. What was he up to? The hopeful part of her imagined that he was talking with Fluttershy about anything at all. The honest part of her pictured him furious and eager to break whatever happened to find its way into his grip.

---

In reality, Discord was doing neither. He sat alone on the roof of Fluttershy's cottage, staring at his hands and lost in his memories.

One story he hadn't yet told was about a crazed old mare he had met some twelve- or fourteen-hundred years ago. He never got her name, but remembered the cutie mark: a paintbrush set against a mountain. This mare had stumbled across Discord one day, and he had taken it as a chance to quell his boredom for a little while. But something about the mare made him pause, made him talk to her and get to know her a little.

The mare hadn't come across him by accident. Rather, she had spent the better part of the season searching for him. He remembered talking with her in that condescending way of his, pelting her with questions designed to cause doubt and fear. She had been shaken at first, but eventually played along with a charisma he couldn't recall seeing in other creatures. It was enough to make him slow down and ask more meaningful questions instead, where he learned she had sought him out because she believed him to be some sort of god.

He had long since thought that of himself, of course, but it was the first time he had heard it from another. He had been intrigued, and had even considered starting a religion centered around himself to capitalize on the idea. However, he later discovered the mare had been sick in her head, which soured the idea until it fell from his mind. He eventually scared her away, never to see her again.

In moments like this, he would think back to that encounter and the mare. He would picture how his life might have been, had he simply allowed the idea to become something more. Perhaps allow the sick old pony to become the prophet of his word. It would have been hilarious, seeing an ill but devout pony preach words of nonsense. What would it have been like if his reality had changed like that?

He shook his head slowly. Reality was a funny thing. Everyone always assumed it was something sturdy, like a great stone foundation on which a life can be built. His power let him see it as more of a block of ice, something that could be carved in any way imaginable. It would take on different shapes and mean different things, but in the end, it was still ice. And he was the only one who was able to sculpt it.

Now reality had changed into something different, something he hadn't yet found a word for. Yesterday, the change had left him angry, and it had taken him the whole day to find out who he blamed.

He gently loosened the bandages covering his hands. The cloth fell away and got caught in the breeze, revealing the damaged tissue of his fingers. The simple act of moving them was uncomfortable, but they were healing: Fluttershy's medicines had done wonders to save them. And unless he was mistaken, she had also used a special medicine from Zecora to speed things along. He couldn't be sure, and it made no difference, but he certainly didn't recognize it from the normal remedies Fluttershy usually went through on an injured critter.

It probably meant that she had it prepared just for him, to help fix what he had done to himself. And if that was true, then it meant that Zecora had helped as well. That little zebra hermit had come through at his friend's request, when he couldn't remember ever sharing words with her. She had simply helped because she was capable.

He liked that idea.

It would take him a while to fully heal. Doubtless, he would be in for a stern glare when Fluttershy woke up and saw that his hands were no longer bandaged. In a way, he knew he would prefer that: being normal was boring, so it was only right for him to mix things up now and again. Even without magic, without answers, and without a clear future, he could still make small changes that amused him. It was all a matter of finding out what he could do without pushing things too far. And that had been part of their friendship all along, hadn't it?

Maybe that meant nothing had changed after all.

Slowly, he closed his hand on itself until he was pinching. There was nothing between his fingers anymore...except that wasn't true. He was still there, along with his skin and bone and blood and everything else that made Fluttershy argue with him for so long. He realized that she had seen him for who he was: Discord, a friend who was struggling and in need of help. She hadn't once thought about getting his magic back, because his magic wasn't what made up their friendship. Whether or not he ever recovered his magic didn't matter, because she had looked past that. She had always looked past that.

Snap.

Maybe that would be enough.

The End

Author's Note:

Afterword:
If you haven't seen it yet, I made a blog about the story's planned update and shared the links to every chapter-in-progress. Those links will have the 'version 2' updates to early chapters, and the unfinished drafts of the remaining chapters, as well as having them in the correct order. There's also a synopsis that shows precisely what I had wanted to tell with the story.

I've published this finale because it was the one chapter I was happy with from the very first draft. The moment alone for Celestia and Discord, each with their own doubts and conclusions. It struck me that Celestia would certainly have been pushed to her limit when she and Luna were battling Discord, and it would make sense for her to make such a desperate wish day after day. Back then, it was just a mantra to keep her going, since she couldn't know what the future held. But now, having seen time pass and change, and finally getting her wish through growth and mistakes...her wish became a mark of shame.

And Discord...Discord, the closest thing to a god in the whole realm. Unique, powerful, controlling, conniving, and now facing the consequences of the mistake in his growth. A being who embodies change suddenly unable to change a thing, so he looks inward to find what had never changed at all. The snap. To me, ending the story on that was just beautiful, a way to show that he can accept saving things as they are, and it's okay if the thing that's saved is him.

I'll always regret not being able to pave the rest of the road to this ending. The chapters and the framework are there, and perhaps someone better than me can take up this particular torch. But looking at the story, it felt like a terrible waste to simply let the finale remain here, unseen. So...it may not make sense, and it's certainly frustrating, but this is how Humility concludes. With Celestia, for once, on the cusp of chaotic change; and with Discord, for once, accepting the comfort of the unchanging.

For those who waited, I apologize. There are reasons for the inexcusable delay, but I am unworthy to take up your time with them. And for those who came back, thank you. You may not have been able to take the full journey, but at least you got here in the end. Perhaps that, too, is enough.

Love,
Leoshi

Comments

[Turbotune]

Look at this! Another story awoken from a long slumber! The necromancy magic continues!
Also, congratulations on winning the biggest procrastination and continued story award by having an even longer confirmed hiatus than the current champion which is This lovely adventure tale!
Have a round of applause~