• Published 17th Nov 2014
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Humility - Leoshi

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Three: The Problem with 'Normal'

Chapter three: The Problem with ‘Normal’

“...is that it never changes. It’s a constant in the world, an anchor, a fact of life. It holds back free spirits.”

“But it’s nice to have something solid to lean on, don’t you think? A point that somepony can always return to if they feel lost! I think of it like a family home.”

“And for those of us with no family?”

“A home is still home.”

Discord swallowed the hurtful scoff that crept up his throat. “That home can just as easily be a prison, Fluttershy. Maybe one day you’ll understand that.”

The shadows of the two friends began to stretch before them, casting two distinct shapes on the road below. On one side, a tall, lanky figure that lacked cohesion yet defied logic by simply existing. On the other, a constant shifting as appendages went up and down, holding aloft a concerned mass of coat, mane, and feathers. The pair was unique in one regard - the shadow of the pony was willingly staying near that of the draconequus. All other shadows, and the ponies to whom they belonged, carefully moved around them.

The isolation was lost on Fluttershy, but not on Discord. How could it be, when it was a constant fact of his own day-to-day? By all rights he should have been used to the wide berths, but today he was considering them in a new light. The same could be said for the weather. For what felt like the first time, he was uncomfortable beneath the summer sun and dry breeze. Still more subtle things that he never had to consider before.

“I’m normal,” Fluttershy began at length. “Do you think I’m some keeper of a prison?”

Discord couldn’t hold back his scoff any further. “Pheh. No offense, but you would probably give a criminal all the comforts he would ask for. A fluffy bed, tea every day, books and board games and toys and everything else he could think up. You, dear Fluttershy, would make a prison cell more welcome than any home.”

The pegasus considered his words for a moment before realizing he was actually paying her a compliment. She smiled and increased her flight speed (by a margin of point-two wing power), catching up to her fiendish friend. The two of them reached the edge of Ponyville by the time she returned to his side.

“So you don’t like normal simply because it doesn’t change?” she asked.

“Of course.”

“Why? There are lots of things to enjoy in a normal day, right?”

Discord shrugged. “There are, yeah, and you’ve been able to show me a lot of them. Those experiences are ones I do not regret.”

“Then help me understand. What makes a normal day so bad? How is it like a prison?”

He didn’t answer right away. Instead, he continued to wander along the road, putting more distance between them and the town. It was a relief to him, really: the fewer gawking stares, the better.

It was no secret that the town still held reservations about him. Having to go through the “Chaos Capital of the World” was a nasty business, and forgiveness for his actions had not come easily. Most of the time, it barely came at all until Fluttershy intervened. In truth, the residents of Ponyville tolerated Discord more than welcomed him, like he were a constant pest or a bad salespony. Reformation or no, his very presence brought up unpleasant memories better left forgotten.

Of course, the outskirts of Ponyville were hardly any better, considering the direction Discord was heading. The bad experiences of the residents were guilt enough - now he had accidentally walked to the clearing where he had turned on his friends. He had betrayed them, only to be betrayed in turn.

The memory swelled. A shift in the air. His stomach turning on itself. A river of energy, itself formless, flowing from his mouth and out into the world, to be claimed by the centaur who was once his ally. The pain he felt wasn’t really pain, but a severe discomfort, like an illness that struck every nerve with a new symptom. The theft of his power was draining. He genuinely felt his control being taken away, replaced by emptiness. Gods above, this was what he had subjected Fluttershy to. This was what he had seen done to legions of ponies all around the realm. What kind of monster would allow this?

Shame and anger mixed within the recesses of Discord’s mind. Strange, he almost had a name for whom he should blame.

“Discord?” his friend called.

“It’s not you,” he muttered.

“I’m sorry, what was that?”

“You are not the prison keeper, Fluttershy.” He spared a moment to swing his arm backwards, gesturing toward the town. “They are.”

Fluttershy gave a shocked little squeak. “What have they been doing this time?”

“You didn’t even see it?” He looked at her incredulously. “We’ve been left alone for our entire walk, Fluttershy. All those fellow ponies back there gave us as much room as they needed.”

“...you mean as much room as we needed?”

Another scoff. This one was harsher. “No.”

The pegasus touched down and looked back toward her home. “Uhm, well, we’ve managed to deal with them giving you...space. This isn’t anything different, right?”

“Different?” he asked. Then he turned to look at the town, scowled, turned back, and sat down on the road. “No. I’m only now seeing it for what it truly is. I’m not welcome here.”

“Oh, but of course you are!”

“Just by you? That makes it an oddity.”

“But what about our friends? Twilight, Rarity, the others?”

“Then that makes it a clique. Good job, we’re all more socially tied to each other than to anypony else.”

“That doesn’t make it wrong!”

Discord’s eyebrows climbed. He rarely heard her raise her voice, least of all at him. Well, not lately, anyway.

Fluttershy stepped in front of him, wanting his full attention. “Maybe you’re not used to this sort of thing, but my friends and I have handled this before. Granted, at first, we were no better than everypony else, but that changed with time!”

“What, did you have to make play-dates with another draconequus before me? Because that’s a little on the impossible side of the fence,” Discord said, extending his arms outward to show off his unique body structure. “There’s only room for one Spirit of Chaos here, and you’re looking at what it was.”

Fluttershy caught the past tense, but ignored it. “Not a draconequus, no. But with other creatures we weren’t used to. You know our friend Zecora?”

‘Oh, goodness,’ he mentally groaned. Personally, he could never stomach her innate rhyming.

“For a long time,” Fluttershy went on, “she visited Ponyville to gather herbs and supplies. And until a couple years ago, the entire town shut its doors to her. We didn’t bother to get to know Zecora for who she was, and instead made up stories of our own just because she was different. We were mean and unfair to her.”

Discord chuckled despite himself. “The word you’re looking for is ‘racist,’ dear.”

She hesitated.

“Don’t feel bad,” he continued. “Your town is far from the only one to feel that way. At least this place eventually warmed up to her.”

“Yes...” she muttered, then once more with conviction. “Yes. That’s right. We took the time to get to know her, the real her, and not some rumor that had been floating around. Now look at her! She’s as welcome in the town as anyone. She has her own friends, us included, and even takes times to entertain the fillies.”

“So you think my time will eventually come to be accepted?”

She gently touched her hoof to his leg. “Without a doubt.”

To his credit, Discord waited a few solid seconds before turning away. “Great. I’m to make friends with the keepers of my prison.”

Fluttershy didn’t often groan. When she did, it came out harsher than ponies would expect, but also higher pitched. The result was not unlike gravel scraping across ice. Needless to say, both friends flinched at the sound that Fluttershy gave at that moment.

“Does that offend you?” Discord asked as he wiggled an eagle-finger in his ear.

“Well, it...yes, it kind of does. The ponies of this town are also my friends, and it’s hard to hear you insult them like that.”

The pair began moving again, reaching a small grove by the roadside. Discord propped his back against a tree, while Fluttershy stayed on the ground. “I suppose it’s a tough pill to swallow.”

Fluttershy’s ear twitched. “That, uhm, wasn’t an apology.”

“No, it was not.”

“So you’re not convinced?”

He allowed himself a small grin, ironic in the circumstances. “No, my dear, I am not. You’re not wrong about your zebra friend, of course. But it doesn’t change the facts as they are. Besides, she and I are in different situations.”

Fluttershy took a moment to look at him. It was obvious that Discord was more upset than he was letting on - the few times he had snapped at her made that clear. More distressing, however, was the way he seemed cynical about their entire conversation. This was a far cry from his usual silly banter.

So when she asked her next question, she mentally prepared for a sharp reply. “Different how?”

Discord hesitated, then blew a raspberry. Fluttershy had to sidestep to avoid the spittle. “It’s not hard to figure out. You and your town were mistaken about the zebra from the beginning. When you finally found the truth, you all collectively swallowed your pride and let her into your fold. Must have been a bitter taste, eh? As for me...well, nopony was mistaken about me in the slightest when I was set free. All of you saw who and what I was from the start. There was no great misunderstanding to overcome.”

“But you’ve been doing good things! Ponies have seen how you’ve changed!”

“I sold you out.”

“You-” Fluttershy faltered. “But, uhm...”

“Stop. You can’t deny it. Nobody can. It’s just another part of the larger truth, isn’t it?”

“Discord, you don’t-”

She was cut off with a wave of his lion-hand. “I bought in to Tirek’s offer of freedom. I sold you and your friends out to him. I regressed into old habits and helped him drain Equestria of its magic. And it was only through the little trust I had gained with the ponies that he was able to get so close, and to so many at once. The entire realm saw that; I followed his plan with hardly a second thought. So what change is there to speak of? What good have I actually done?”

Several seconds passed before she replied. “You regret it, don’t you?”

“What prisoner doesn’t regret his actions? It makes no difference, Fluttershy. This home of yours is stifling to me, and the looks your neighbors give me are either fearful or spiteful. A prison and its keepers, and now...” He looked over his hands, trying to grasp the empty air. There was no power between his fingers. “A prisoner, rightfully shackled.”

Fluttershy wasn’t beaten. She swallowed her mounting anxiety and pressed on. “I still believe that the ponies here are very open and forgiving. You’re right...you and Zecora were in different situations. But what about you and Spike?”

Intrigued, Discord looked up with a raised eyebrow. “The little drake? He’s adored by every mare in the town.”

“Yes, but there was a time he lost control of himself. Grew taller than all of the buildings and went on a greedy rampage.”

“Ah.”

Fluttershy nodded. “He was terrifying. We knew it was him and tried to stop him, but he was past reason. Eventually, Rarity was able to get through to him, but not before he did some major damage to the town. Despite that, we all eventually forgave him, and he’s a more mature dragon in the end because of it.”

“Mm-hmm. You’re saying that Spike and I are alike because he once trashed Ponyville and was forgiven anyway.”

“Right!” She was pleased to have finally made a connection. But her grin fell as Discord shook his head.

“Spike was already adored by the town long before his little episode with greed, my dear,” Discord explained. “I, on the other hand, was introduced as a monstrous villain from the beginning. It’s so much easier to forgive a creature, when that creature is already your friend.”

“What I mean to say is that you can still change their minds about you. Spike was able to earn everypony’s trust again, despite tearing through the town. If there’s a chance for him, there can be a chance for you.”

Discord shook his head again. “My situation is still fundamentally different than his was.”

“We’re still a forgiving town. It’s normal for strange things to happen here, and I rarely see anypony hold a grudge. Least of all toward somepony working so hard to earn forgiveness.”

“‘Normal,’ again? A thaumaphage is hardly normal, and neither is a Spirit of Chaos. Such beings don’t deserve forgiveness, not unless you plan on forgiving Tirek anytime soon.”

“But-”

“Besides,” he interrupted, “just because you have been willing to give me another chance doesn’t mean anypony else will. Opinions aren’t won over in a day.”

“You won mine in a day.”

You are not an entire town. Have you ever considered the possibility that maybe you’ve been wrong about me this whole time? Maybe the townsponies are right in their thinking.”

“Discord!” Fluttershy half-shouted. “Please! I want to help. I’m trying to make you feel better about all this!”

“And a fine job you’re doing,” he muttered, turning away.

“Well, if you would just listen...”

“I won’t ignore the facts as they are, Fluttershy!” he snapped. “I’ve done horrible things in my past, both to you and to everypony you know. Just because you want me to listen doesn’t mean I can ignore my history, or the logic of my actions, even if you will. I’m a bird without wings, Fluttershy, remember? And you’re trying to push me out of a nest because you think I can still fly! I’m sorry, but maybe you need to be pecked.”

Silence. Finally, Fluttershy ran out of things to say. She stood there, looking up at his averted face, and tried hard to come up with another solution. As the seconds ticked by, her frustration and pity caused her to shudder. She nervously shook her feathers and stammered with half-words. Eventually, with Discord pointedly avoiding her gaze, she let out a small sniffle and took flight. A few seconds later, she was gone.

Author's Note:

2.26.15: Minor corrections to spelling and tense. New version v. 1.01.
Thus, the Hiatus status is removed. Let's get this train rolling once more.

I admit, I went into this chapter blind. I knew that I wanted to address Discord's mounting anger, but didn't expect to have it come out like this. I'm also certain that this is not the last we'll see of it. After all, there's more logic to go around, and another half of this coin to consider.

Thoughts? Comments? Criticism? I welcome all.