• Member Since 23rd Oct, 2014
  • offline last seen Jul 7th, 2015

Blank_Slate


E

This is a pastiche/style parody of David Markson's Wittgenstein's Mistress, but with ponies. Or one pony (Rarity, to be exact). The plot will be basically the same: Rarity seems to be the only pony left in Equestria.

I'm writing it for NaNoWriMo Pony edition, and I hope to write 50,000 words (though I really don't know if I'll be able to.)

Chapters (9)
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Comments ( 48 )

Has this seriously not accumulated a single comment, despite a trip through the front page and a trip through Recent Updates? :ajbemused: Philistines, all of us.

The story description's kinda unfocused and not terribly compelling, but the story itself is a good read. It does a nice job getting across the sparseness of the setting and Rarity's struggles. I don't know anything about the book you're crossing over with, aside from the results of a quick googling, but as a standalone work this has got a pretty grabby premise. If it sticks to the source material, that promises some philosophical examinations, and (especially if you merge it with MLP and gnaw at the existential questions ponies face) that could be engaging; and if you break from the source material and just run with the premise you've set up, figuring out why everyone's disappeared, that's pretty juicy too.

Either way, this looks awfully promising. Don't know if I'll be able to keep up with all 50k words if you keep up your NaNo pace (good luck!), but I'll keep an eye on the story!

Best,

H

5225772
Hi!

Thanks for the kind words. I'll make sure to check out your stories when I get time.

I've been wondering about whether or not I should break from the source material, actually, and I still haven't really decided. I don't just want it to be like, 'It was Discord what done it,' but on the other hand I think that the existence of magic in this world gives a good enough reason to explore some crazy spell mishap or whatever. What do you think? Should I write in a reason for the events, or keep true to the original?

I'll certainly try to keep the pace up, though I've never done anything this ambitious before.

Regards,

B

5225865
Re which path, no solid opinion; I guess it depends on whether your muse is more excited about Equestrian deconstruction or an adventure story. I mean, just off the top of my head you've got a great platform for her to contemplate Equestrian management of nature with its current undirected growth. The purpose of the day/night cycle in a world with only her alive. Etc.

This doesn't actually seem like Discord's fault. Solitude is awfully boring. I actually wonder, if this is set before his redemption, whether his statue disappears or not.

Not sure where, if anywhere, this story is going, but it's a pleasure to read Rarity rambling on about the empty world and her adaptation to it. I think you've caught her feel very well, with just a hint of crazy added for spice. :duck:

5225772

So far I'm really enjoying this story although I'm not quite sure why. It doesn't seem like something I'd normally be interested in. Had it not been for your recommendation, I probably wouldn't have read it. The description is a bit... bland. As I said though, dry description aside, I am liking this story and I'm interested to see where it's going. It's very well written.

5225865 given that she probably went to finishing school and not a school for magic, I'd suppose she'd be out of her element trying to find the magics that wrought this.

At least she can eat grass raw.

Quietly fascinating. I'm definitely looking forward to more.

Comment posted by Blank_Slate deleted Nov 5th, 2014
Comment posted by Blank_Slate deleted Nov 5th, 2014

5226314
5226347
Thank you so much. :twilightblush:

5226762
I really like the idea of Rarity in finishing school, that's great.
And yes, she probably couldn't research the magic like Twilight could. Hmm. I'll have to think about it some more.
Thanks for the comment. :pinkiehappy:

This continues to fascinate. It's not quite like anything I've read on the site. I'm looking forward to more.

You need to watch out for allusions to night and day.

I'm finding this story rather depressing. I'm still enjoying it though.

5230869 This is a very interesting story

Rarity must struggle with an existential crisis made external. i hope it leads somewhere (maybe Spike rescuing her) but I'll watch regardless.:raritywink:

I am extra careful about quickly bringing the clothes in after they have dried.
Nonetheless, I forget about them sometimes and they fade. I have many faded dresses now.

Nice touch, grounding both the sense of elongated time as well as a hint of unreliable narration. I mean, Rarity talks about things in terms of moons, and admits she went a bit insane, so we may not be dealing with normal pony timescales here, but little details like this (and the missing food from the cat food cans) amp up that sense of unreality.

5231588
5231719
5231046
Thanks for commenting! :coolphoto:

5231296
Will do! But remember, when Rarity talks about afternoon, night, day, etc., she is referring to the time on the clock she keeps wound rather than the actual time (it could be any time, really.) Is it arbitrary? Sure, but it's also comforting to her, I think. :raritywink:

Very different - and interesting and enjoyable premise and execution.

5232750
I get that. What I'm talking about are the effects it has on the environment, like the watchtower being spooky at night.

5236474
Oh, right. I missed that one. Thanks for the help! :rainbowlaugh:

5237619 Enjoying the goodness. :raritystarry:

This is very fun to read. Rarity sounds like Rarity while also being more mature than the pony we know, and the delivery is excellent. I look forward to wherever you take us!

This is a great read, though it seems to me it should have a sad tag. Rarity remains upbeat, but you can tell how much it is costing her, how tightly she's now holding on to her sanity to keep in control.

5238581
Done - tagged as sad. Thanks for the tip. :coolphoto:

Fluttershy had bought a dress, and he wanted to follow suit.

It seems that Rarity has unintentionally made an amusing pun. :raritywink:

5242476
Yeah, I wonder if I should've had her say something about that, but I think it works as is :derpytongue2:

5237994
5234737
Thank you, much appreciated :raritywink:

5242499
I expected her to say something about it, but it does work as is. There's something amusing about characters making puns and not realizing it.

5242609
Haha yeah I like that, too. Unnoticed puns! :pinkiehappy:

Arez #31 · Nov 8th, 2014 · · 2 · Day 6 ·

I am really likings this story. The way she rambles and so simply changes topic shows how she's losing herself. Or so I think.

5243388
Totally! Thanks for commenting.

Why is the pennant flapping?
I don't think Rarity would use the word "squicked."
This is continuing to be an enjoyable quiet read.

Slant #34 · Nov 9th, 2014 · · 2 · Day 7 ·

This is creeping me out in the best possible way. The style is fantastic, the story is horrifyingly empty. Rarity's madness is calm and relatable. Liked, followed and favourited.

5248679
Why is the pennant flapping?
In the wind? Am I missing something?
I don't think Rarity would use the word "squicked."
Wouldn't she? She has said icky a few times. Hmm. I can see your point, though. What do you think she would say? Just "I was somewhat disturbed by this" or something?
This is continuing to be an enjoyable quiet read.
Thanks! Glad you enjoy it.

5248897
Thanks for the comment! Though I think the original story should take the credit for the haunting style... You should check it out if you are a fan of this! :rainbowkiss:

5249339
Pennant: Am I confusing this with another story when I say I think it was mentioned that there isn't much wind anymore?*
Squicked: Disturbed definitely fits better.
*I recently reread Somepony who loves you (in one sitting), so this is a definite possibility.

5250716
Done. Changed it to 'disturbed.'
Thanks for the help.

Rarity knows a few maneuvers.

Unrelated to the story — do you have any idea what's up with literally every comment getting downvote-bombed? Is there someone harassing you? That's something you can (and probably should) report to the site moderators; they can tell who voted on what.

Once, in Fancy Pants's penthouse in Canterlot, I signed a mirror.
I wrote my name in mauve lipstick.
What I was signing was a picture of myself.
Of course, if anypony else came to see the mirror it would be a picture of them that I had signed.
Though in fact the name I wrote was actually Pinkie Pie.

Love this.

Looking back, it's hard to believe that (nine chapters and 15,000 words later) the gimmick of the story hasn't grown stale yet. You're doing a good job keeping things fresh despite the essential stasis of Rarity's situation.

You know, I keep hoping this'll go someplace new, yet at the same time I have no problem whatsoever coming back and reading another four chapters of the same. :P Looking forward to more.

5262455
Hmm... I have no idea about the downvotes. Oh well :(
Thanks for the support. :yay:

5267855
Thanks for commenting. Glad you enjoy it!

5249382 Well now that I've done that, I think that I prefer this homage to the original. I liked the additional ambiguity you have as to if everyone has vanished or the narrator is mad simply by being set in an established fantasy universe. I also enjoyed that Rarity was much more socially connected than the narrator in Mistress, so you had to address the issue of her finding meaning in the absence of those social connections which had meant so much to her.

Anyhow I realise that you've probably given up on this as a nano project, but it is possible that you'd like to know that you have at least one reader who found your work interesting and even as a pastiche, original.

Well. I am glad I found this. An engrossing read.

I won't hope to give you constructive criticism on this, so I'll simply point out this:

In the human world I sometime slept in cars.

Although the word "sometime" is a valid one, it doesn't quite work here.

And the rest is silence.

Sad that this just faded out as it did, but then we can pretend that is for the best.
I misspoke. It would be better if there were more, but what there is can suffice. Scraps of paper blown on the wind.

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