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NEW GAME PLUS BONUS:
-YOUR BEANIE HAT IS THREE SHADES REDDER.
-DAWNING KNOWLEDGE OF ONGOING TIME LOOP RETAINED.
You are Button Mash. You probably knew this already, but it is important to reiterate the basics for casual players. Not that you are one. In fact, you are probably the most really hardcore gamer in the history of gaming. Mom said so.
Yours is a noble lineage, stretching back all the way to the ancestral monarch, King Pong, who established his glorious reign by slaying fifty evil dragons in a single combo. Sadly, King Pong was assassinated in a treacherous act of treachery, devastating the once-great House of Pong and scattering its many hardcore players to the wind. However, a single colt managed to escape total party kill, and was raised as an orphan in a humble, unassuming village. The colt's name was Bangersun Mash, and he would go on to father a line of heroic heroes that eventually resulted in you. Also he saved the world, as was foretold in the prophecy of Power Ponies issue #34, which stated that...
Yeah, that was probably getting a bit too expository. The true value of a game lies in its gameplay, not its story. You are not interested in stories. They require too much thinking, and you have only just woken up. Not to mention that your reading comprehension is illiter—
Illegiti—
Iffy. Your reading comprehension is iffy at best.
You are really bad at thinking when you have just woken up. If only it weren't for your window! And also the sun. You cannot help but hiss in rage and pain as beautiful morning sunlight bombards you with harmful solar radiation. What was Princess Celestia thinking when she invented that? Everyone knows that games are best played in low-light conditions!
A quest already! And it's easy! Today is a good day. You are going to get so much XP today.
Time to start playing. What do you do?
Oh god. Why would you make this entire thing one big loop? Why would you do this? Obs, why
THIS GAME IS STUPID.
I've beaten it thirty-six times in a row. I now have knowledge of (knowledge of (knowledge of (…(*) time loops)))), and more importantly, a hat with +108 Redness, which OBVIOUSLY should provide 108% fire resistance, healing me every time I take fire damage.
BUT I STILL CAN'T BEAT THE ROOM FIRE BY PLAYING VIDEO GAMES.
/ragequit
>https://i.imgur.com/CYwnarP.gif
>links to http://i.imgur.com/bClvBDu.jpg
>also is not gifv
ಠ_ಠ
also why the fuck are you not using the site_url tag?
^ I'd like to point out that same-tag nesting is broken
5214736 Well DUH! All of the REAL HARDCORE gamers would know to beat it 42 times in order to activate ALL of the +3% cumulative, as it was only adding 3% of 3% each time. I guess you just aren't a true, hardcore gamer. You're just... a poser...
Fridge horror: Button's life is a neverending turmoil of pain.
5222734 Oh my god.
OH MY GOD.
Wait a minute, what if you play this game around 1,000 times or so, he gains full awareness, and tries to get out of the game?
SEQUEL PLOT ACQUIRED.