• Published 1st Nov 2014
  • 2,885 Views, 134 Comments

Ⓑⓤⓣⓣⓞⓝ Ⓜⓐⓢⓗ - Obselescence



Ⓣⓗⓔ Ⓖⓐⓜⓔ: You are Button Mash. You have just woken up. It is time to play a game. Can you beat the final boss and eat all the breakfast? Score of 100 on Metacritic. Over 50 hours of gameplay!

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Ⓓⓔⓕⓔⓐⓣ Ⓔⓥⓘⓛ

Enemy: Dark Mash
HP: ???
BP: ???
Mustache: Girly

The realization of all the darkness that lies in your soul. Defeat him, and achieve enlightenment at last!

You are ready for this. You have beaten so many challenges and overcome so many obstacles that you cannot help but be ready for this.

Unfortunately, you are still at level one, which leaves you with a relative pittance of opportunities to unleash sweet finisher moves and hour-long special attacks. You do, however, have your trusty dextrous hooves, with which you can deliver great pain to anything as weak as you are.

Dark Mash takes one damage!

Progress!


"Your efforts are futile,
your slaps pitiful.
Witness now my true power!"

Button Mash takes one damage!

Owwwwww, that hurts! In fact, it hurts so bad that you feel like crying.

But you cannot! You must be strong! You must win this fight! You must eat breakfast!

Dark Mash takes one damage!


"I am the god you never were.
Your darkness is the greater part of yourself.
My power is infinite compared to yours.
And Sweetie Belle doesn't even like your mustache."

Button Mash takes one damage!

You have to win! You must! You didn't play all of those video games when you were supposed to be studying for nothing! You will stay up all night and fake being sick to avoid going to school if it means you can just beat this one last boss!

And also any bonus content that may exist after it, obviously. You will never go for anything less than 100% completion.

IT'S WHAT MAKES YOU HARDCORE.

Dark Mash takes ∞ damage!
Dark Mash defeated!


"Nooooooooo!
This is impossible!
How could this be?
Please. Forgive me!"


"There is no forgiveness for insulting THE 'STACHE.
Die, monster.
You don't belong in this world."


"Nooooooooo!"

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