Ⓑⓤⓣⓣⓞⓝ Ⓜⓐⓢⓗ

by Obselescence

Ⓘⓝⓥⓔⓢⓣⓘⓖⓐⓣⓔ Ⓣⓡⓤⓣⓗ

Okay!

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INDEX:
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Copyright Info - Button Mash™®©, All Rights Reserved
Introduction
No, this game isn't stupid.

A) Walkthrough
A1 . . . . . . . Slaying Gargantarr the Ever-Dreaming
A2 . . . . . . . Crying
A3 . . . . . . . Playing Video Games
A4 . . . . . . . Pretty Much All The Actual Content
A5 . . . . . . . Checking the FAQ
A6 . . . . . . . Watching the Let's Play
A7 . . . . . . . Cow Level
A8 . . . . . . . Ending Mom

Introduction:

Hi, everypony! This is your favorite friend, Button Mash, with some neat tricks and elite master tips for beating Ⓑⓤⓣⓣⓞⓝ Ⓜⓐⓢⓗ. This is a pretty hard and not-stupid game, so I am going to take it very slow for you so that you don't get confused by all of this. If you are a casual player, I mean. Most hardcore gamers will be able to understand a lot of this stuff super easy. I want to give a shout-out to all of my bro-ponies who are reading this FAQ. To save time and kilobytes on this FAQ, I will shorten any future references to you down to "bronies." Okay?

Now, to start off with, you play this game as the coolest hero ever: Button Mash! You probably knew this already, but it is important to reiterate the basics for casual players. Not that you are one. In fact, you are probably...

A4 . . . . . . . Pretty Much All The Actual Content

Okay, so at this point, you are probably stuck and not sure what to do. This is natural, because this game is hard. And not dumb. Did I mention that it's not dumb? Because it isn't. Trust me on this one.

The TV blocking your door is definitely the game's toughest puzzle. Possibly the very hardest puzzle ever conceived of in a video game (and I would know, because I have beaten every video game ever). To solve it, I recommend consulting the in-game FAQ, which should contain all the information you need to solve it. This may seem like circular logic, but actually there's a very important purpose served here, which you absolutely positively should read exactly as I've written it down below. I'm serious, you may think it's worth skipping, but you really need to pay attention to...

...I forgot to mention that there are some cutscenes in this part of the game that you can't actually skip. It seems to be a tiny bug where pressing start only fast-forwards things a bit. It's usually pretty easy to fix by pressing start again, but I wouldn't recommend it because there is a lot of important information for beating the game that you can only learn in the cutscenes, like...

A8 . . . . . . . Ending Mom

SPOILERS! SPOILERS! SPOILERS! SPOILERS! SPOILERS! SPOILERS! SPOILERS!

Nah, I'm just kidding. There isn't actually anything in this part yet, because I still haven't managed to get past the widescreen TV. I'm pretty sure that it's not actually possible to defeat Mom, though. You would need to have a cheat code or something. Which all real games obviously have, because what's the point of a game if you can't instantly beat it? Duh. Maybe if you want to win without cheating you could try crying really really really hard, but your level probably wouldn't be high enough for that. I would probably recommend just waiting for me to beat the game, so I can update the FAQ and give you all the cool hardcore tips for winning the game.

Comments

[Csquared08]

>No, this game isn't stupid.
Dagnabbit, Obs. Stop trying to convince me otherwise.

[Majin Syeekoh]

But there is no cow level, Obs...

[chono]

Guys I still can't get past the widescreen T.V. Is anyone ever going to update the FAQ?

[Classy Toad]

...

How much effort was actually put into this story.

That wasn't Button junk.

This is like, the worlds most intense oneshot ever. It even has multiple chapters.

[meepify]

The secret cow level in Diablo two... BRING INTO ME MOOING JUDGEMENT

[Enigma In the Jungle]

. . . And that's why I am a pc gamer. I would never block my door with a pc like a kid.

[EverfreeSparkle]

To solve it, I recommend consulting the in-game FAQ

Oh, you don't say?!