• Published 1st Nov 2014
  • 2,888 Views, 134 Comments

Ⓑⓤⓣⓣⓞⓝ Ⓜⓐⓢⓗ - Obselescence



Ⓣⓗⓔ Ⓖⓐⓜⓔ: You are Button Mash. You have just woken up. It is time to play a game. Can you beat the final boss and eat all the breakfast? Score of 100 on Metacritic. Over 50 hours of gameplay!

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Ⓕⓐⓒⓔ Ⓨⓞⓤⓡⓢⓔⓛⓕ

Well, you would, but just before going downstairs, you encounter the Mirror of Souls.

M.O.M. Interface Active:


"Your quest ends here, Button."


"Who... who are you?"


"I am the darkness that lurks in your soul.
The realization that you might be a nerd.
The creeping doubt that you're not hardcore."


"N-no! I am hardcore!
Mom said so!"


"She speaks in lies.
Remember?
She pretended she'd forgotten your birthday.
But she actually hadn't."


"That's... I can't deny that.
But I beat Super Pony 64 in one day!"


"On easy."


"But... I ceaselessly dedicate myself to video games,
and play them every waking moment!"


"Yes, but...
Perhaps the same could be
said of all religions."


"Nooooooo!"

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