• Published 1st Nov 2014
  • 2,895 Views, 134 Comments

Ⓑⓤⓣⓣⓞⓝ Ⓜⓐⓢⓗ - Obselescence



Ⓣⓗⓔ Ⓖⓐⓜⓔ: You are Button Mash. You have just woken up. It is time to play a game. Can you beat the final boss and eat all the breakfast? Score of 100 on Metacritic. Over 50 hours of gameplay!

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Your onslaught of girlish tears quickly quench the blaze. That was totally intentional. You did that on purpose. Nobody can say otherwise. Nuh uh. You sit amidst the ashen ruins of your room, soaked in the brine of your distress, and feel pretty good about how this morning turned out. After all: you're a hero! The widescreen TV is gone now, and you can finally pass through your bedroom door. You should totally get a medal for all of this!

Or, at least, you should get breakfast.

Breakfast sounds like a pretty good idea.

At last, the end to your quest is in sight. You have fought with many evil things, braved many trials, and played so many video games to get this far. You can scarcely believe your journey is at an end, and yet... all things have ends. How else would you unlock New Game+?

A furious roar rises up from the dungeons as Mom yells to get your flank downstairs right this instant.

Time to finish this.

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