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That Quiet Time Between Adventures
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Dash walked into her house, breathing a sigh of relief. Her hard day’s work was finally finished, and she was back in her house, for the first time in months.
She had been overseeing the transfer of her unit into Ponyville, and had to admit, that it was hard work! She volunteered to move a lot of documents to her new office, but that involved a lot of flying. Alex had tried to lend a hoof, but Dash was afraid he'd burn the paper in the transport, as much as he promised not to.
But, she had just finished moving the last of the documents, and giving out assignments. So, she was in place to kick back and relax. Her men were to patrol Ponyville, and report any suspicious activity to her. Which, she knew there would be none of. It was basically vacation for all of them now.
Sniffing, Dash smelt something pleasant floating in the air as she walked into the living room… somepony was making cookies!
“Hey Dash!” Alex called, trotting out of the kitchen, wearing a frilly pink apron, “Pinkie gave me a recipe to help me make these!”
Dash looked at him and bit her lip, holding back her laughter, a skew smile across her face at his attire.
“What?” Alex asked, looking down to his apron and sighing, “It says ‘kiss the human’… I thought it would be clever! I even had it custom made...”
"I think it looks nice," Dash said calming down, as she made her way over to him and made a biting motion with her mouth.
“Oh!” Alex said, quickly levitating a cookie for her to taste.
“That’s pretty good,” Dash said, swallowing her first bite, exhaling to get a better taste, “What else did you get from Pinkie while i was out?”
“A few hoof jobs,” Alex shrugged, expecting an outburst from her, but got nothing, “Not gonna hit me for that one?”
“What’s a hoof job?” She asked, not recognizing the term whatsoever.
“Uh… Never mind,” Alex said, flinging his apron off, and flopping on the couch to relax, hoping to move the conversation in another direction, “Man… It’s nice to be back in this house.”
“It has been a while, hasn’t it?” Dash smiled and nodded, looking around, noting the cleanliness of the room, “I’m surprised there isn't a thick coat of dust in this place, actually.”
“That was me,” Alex said, not opening his eyes.
"You dusted?" Dash asked, impressed that he had done that for her.
“Actually... I uh…moved the house.”
Dash tilted her head. What did that mean?
“How was that?” Dash asked, her curiosity piqued.
“Well, since you were too busy to come home right away, I decided to try dusting the place,” Alex explained, still unmoving on the couch, “But, it took a pretty damn long time, even with my magic.”
“So… what does moving the house have to do with that?” She asked, making her way to his seat, and sitting down next to him.
“Once I gave up on cleaning it the right way, i took a nap, and then I decided to take a… different approach.” Alex said, cracking a smile, and opening one eye to look at her, “I moved the whole house thirty or so feet to the right, by teleporting everything EXCEPT the dust!”
Dash had to admit, that was an interesting approach. She was just surprised that he had the ability to move everything in this place, but skip the dust. It was REALLY advanced magic. In fact… it was a little too advanced.
“What did you mess up?” Dash asked cautiously, looking around the room for something out of place.
“Oh, everything,” Alex said, smiling, hiding his fear perfectly, “Half the house is in complete disarray.”
Just half?
“What about the other half?” Dash asked, squinting at him, her day starting to get a little worse.
“It… is…” Alex said, weighing his options. Tell the truth, or… run.
“It’s in a pile on the ground, about thirty feet away!” Alex finished, sitting up and smiling warmly at her, “But, since I DID just get back from a long enslavement at the hooves of the changelings, I think we can just look past this one, right?”
Dash sighed, and grabbed herself a cookie, quickly chewing and swallowing it.
“Well, I DID need to go furniture shopping,” She said, standing up and walking into the kitchen, seeing everything but the stove and counters missing.
“Or, you- we could move down to the ground,” Alex suggested, hoping that would be an appealing option for her.
“Why do you say that?” Dash asked, never having considered that course of action.
“Well, only ponies with wings can get here,” Alex said, tapping his hoof on the floor, “What happens if we want to have some friends over for dinner? Or have a party for one of our kids?”
Dash gave him a weird look.
Alex just made a whole-lotta-awkward in the room by mentioning the K word.
“K-kids?” Dash choked, a piece of cookie flying across the room.
“It was just a suggestion!” Alex said quickly, waving his front hooves in front of him, “I mean, I don’t want to have kids!”
“Oh, you- you don’t?” Dash said quickly, with the smallest hint of disappointment in her voice, "Uh, that's fine! If you--"
“Oh, I mean I do!” Alex nodded quickly, quickly finishing his explanation, “But, you know, not now!”
“You do? Okay, yeah! I mean, well, I always… Kind- Kinda liked the thought…” Dash trailed off, the embarrassment turning into timidity, “Well, I just… love babies.”
“Really?” Alex asked, a genuine smile on his face, loving this honesty she was showing, “I didn’t figure you for the baby type.”
“I wasn’t, actually,” She admitted, thinking back to a few years ago, “I mean, I was indifferent. Still… It changes your perspective when the guy you love might never come back from a stone prison... You start to notice babies everywhere!"
“Yeah, I guess that makes sense… No guys I’m in love with are in stone right now, so I guess I’ll never truly understand,” Alex joked, not phasing Dash, or the line of thought she was currently in.
“Nopony believed me when I mentioned it, to be honest,” Dash told him, remembering all the times her friends had said:
“As if Rainbow Dash would want kids!” Twilight had said to Fluttershy, just a few months ago.
“You’ve got tuh be kiddin’ me!” Applejack had laughed when she mentioned it a year ago.
“I don’t think you’d be very good with kids, Dashie!” Pinkie had laughed, after Dash failed miserably at babysitting the Cake twins during a visit to Ponyville.
Dash sighed. Nopony had had any faith in her. And now here she was… About to cry about it again.
“They really all said that?” Alex asked, figuring none of them meant it in a hurtful way. Reaching forward, he stroked her cheek, as she looked up to him with sad eyes.
“Dash, you shouldn’t listen to them,” He said, comforting her as best as he could, “All motherhood is, is something else for you to be awesome at. Don’t let anypony say anything otherwise.”
She wasn’t entirely convinced.
“What do I even know about being a mom anyway?” She asked gloomily, her eyes downcast as she moved to the side of the room, "I'm a selfish racing pony!"
Alex shook his head, giving her a serious look, “Nopony knows anything about being a mom before the fact, Colors. Not until they have a foal themselves, can they truly understand the challenges.”
“Yeah… I guess.” She nodded, her attitude brightening a bit.
“Look, this isn’t something we have to worry about right now, so don’t get yourself down about it,” Alex reassured, gesturing for her to sit next to him on the couch, “Just let everything come naturally. I’m pretty sure being a mother is somewhere in your DNA anyway.”
“That sounds a little sexist,” Dash noted, raising an eyebrow at him.
“That may be true, but I have crappy stuff in my DNA…” Alex said, recalling just this afternoon, “Earlier today I ate a bunch of cupcakes, farted, then fell asleep for three hours.”
“Was this before, or after you ruined all the furniture?” Dash asked, smirking at his silly explanation.
“Before,” Alex stated, “I woke up to sneezing from the dust, and then, I got the great idea to move the whole house!”
“And that was because of your DNA?” Dash asked, making sure his argument came full circle.
“Exactly!” Alex grinned, happy she was helping him out, “So, really, my sexism is just a complement to you!”
“I’m so happy to hear that,” Dash laughed, her mood much better now that Alex had lightened it, “…Thanks though.”
“Of course,” He said, kissing her, “Now, what else did you have planned for the night?”
“Nothing really…” Dash said, wondering what else there was she could finish up, “Just get some dinner and off to bed?”
“Awesome,” Alex beamed, pushing the plate of cookies in front of her, “I’ve been dying to eat, myself.”
“Perfect,” Dash chirped, her wings fluttering as she munched on yet another cookie, “What are you gonna make us?”
“Huh? You mean make dinner?” Alex asked, his head tilted, “Nononono. I was talking ABOUT you.”
…
Dash rolled her eyes. But flashed a smile.
“Well, if you’re gonna force me.”
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I like alex even more than before! This fic i always getting better.
Someone with enough guts to use an alicorn OC?
I'm definitely reading this. And an up-vote right off the bat as well....
Good job with this chapter. I like that Alex destroyed the house. Best of luck with the adventures to come, especially when the main six begin to be affected by the elements of discord.
Man, it has been a long time since I started to read this story.
Dashie would be a good mom
Damn it... why do I have a feeling we're missing out on another make out session?
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You won't be disappointed.
Yay new chapter.
Thou make good entertaining storys I envy you for that I can barely write a paragraph in an hour.
I keep going back and forth on this fic. Some chapters I find myself wondering why I'm reading this. Then, a chapter like this happens and I remember "Oh yeah, it has its moments." It does raise the question, if he can teleport the house, and most of what's in it, why didn't he just teleport the dust? That's right, he more than a bit of an idiot.
Ever since I started reading this fic three months ago, I still get just as excited when it updates.
If only I could write stories this well.
...That introduction gives me a horrible horrible sense of pseudo-philosophy; "I'm trying to sound crafty or wise by using words and vague-yet-pointed phrases-insults that aren't really relevant".
It didn't sound like Twilight at all, and that's who I assumed was talking when I found out it was a Princess. (Although it feels OOC for any of the Princesses).
And let's see, fourth-wall breaking in the introduction with a reference to Kansas.
I actually thought; "Is this guy trying to put his entire story into the introduction?"
"My Alicorn OC is going to be full of unreasonable contempt and snark as he antagonizes a Princess for a variety of petty reasons more suited to a fifth grade playground!" (Ever see people do overly-dramatized roleplays? They sound exactly like Alex, crude characters don't make for a good story if they're just hashed). More importantly, omnipotence, really? I don't think that concept lends itself to immature behavior at all. To an introspective mind, power and responsibility flow into each other. (And are you telling me he didn't get introspective over his thousand(s) of years? Did he go insane instead? It's not a good place to start).
Everything is stilted, and then you go, "If you call it a self-insert, I'm just going to assume you mean I'm perfect," well excuse me while I go gag at your immature attempts to invalidate someone's argument through egotistical nonsense. (Feeling trippy, weren't you?)
I'm not sure why people like this, I don't want to go past the introduction, and I consider myself to have given this story as fair a shake as if I had actually opened up the first chapter; because I actually ended up reading part of the story in a place it really didn't belong, and didn't like it there either.
So you know, whatever; Obviously lots of people like this, it managed to be featured...
You still lost me at the introduction though, completely. Some of the comments still have blatant fourth-wall breaking quotes outside of the introduction... It feels canned.
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This was the original description:
It's actually a very good story. The side arc "Chasing the Rainbow" is probably my favorite thus far.
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It's understandable that you don't like the concept of the story, or the lead protagonist's personality. Not everyone can like every story, but excuse me if I don't give you credit for judging an entire work of fiction on one part inside of it that can only reflect that singular moment. Your vision is being colored by one scene in a sprawling story, and you're making way too many assumptions. Is he really talking to a princess? You can have no idea. If it is in fact Twilight, does she sound out of character? Perhaps with what we've seen of the show, but you have no idea what could have happened within the pages here to bring her to this moment. Events change people, no character is the same at the end of their journey, and by not reading you cannot know what has affected Twilight.
Arguing with the "princess" for petty reasons? I'm sorry, but by not opening the chapter and reading you have no idea why he's doing what he's doing. There are no reasons given, so you can't even call them petty. You just see someone snarking at what you call a princess and assume they're doing it for shits and giggles that don't matter to elder people. Is that snark a part of his personality? Yes, and I can totally see why you wouldn't like the story because of it, but every other reason is superfluous and holds no credit underneath the surface whatsoever.
As for the guy preemptively defending his own story? I wouldn't call that immature, far from it. I find it witty, a fun way of combating the common stigmas tacked onto alicorn OC's. Of course, that's just me.
With that all said, I'm going to open the first chapter and give this a try. The description has my interest.
There are no words...for how stupid Alex is at some times.
Yaay, I havent seen the differential teleportation trick in years, and that was for the anti aging machine in the Immortals Machine World in the series Perry Rhodan.
Need to get poison out of a patient? Teleport everything about them but the poison. Unless its a particularly impressive magic reactive poison in another story. That was nasty.
Anyway. Hope the bed isnt one of the items that, fell through the spell.
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Well, you're entitled to that opinion, i have no issues with that observation. Everyone has their two cents.
However, I do want to clarify on that you about the preemptive end to the self-insert OC argument. I realize that people will see that quality in the character, especially at the beginning. But i just don't want to hear it anymore. The story is 2 years old, and i have had my share of people coming through and mouthing off at me.
In the kindest way possible, they can kiss my fat vagina, which will be nasty, because i'm a dude.
So, what is is, soul brotha'.
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Wieners.
And then Rainbow realized Alex didn't manage to teleport the food when he wrecked the house. Hijinks ensued.
3894946 Ketchup.
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Mustard.
My favourite contraction is 'tisn't (it is not)
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Specifically, a scene that hasn't even happened yet.
But yeah, Ecstatic, read it from the beginning. Don't judge the story based on the new description without reading any of it first.
... Nice.
~ Super-Brony12
Stop teasing me with the babies, I want them now!
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MAY-YO-NAISE!!!
Me want rainbow babbys
A thought that I've had with this story, not that it's my place to criticize because this is amazing, but there's so much fighting and sadness and loss, that there's no fluff anymore. No hugging, kissing, this last chapter was refreshing in that way. This was, although short, one of the best chapters yet.
i.imgur.com/vuSpYuS.jpg
AND THEN THEY FUCKED
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I'm actually looking at a big rewrite, finding editors and whatnot.
I plan on changing a large portion of the beginning to much less 'instant friendship' and much more 'what the hell is this place.'
And as for his politeness... That has a very sudden change, and is an actual plot point.
I hope you're liking it though!
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Well I liked it.
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You're right to say that, and it's true.
I plan on making my next giant one-shot chapter a fluffy one, instead of some big fight. I started reading fan fiction for the BBxRae fluff. I can't forget it NOW.
will there be more?
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Of course!
IN THE NEXT, ACTION PACKED CHAPTER OF OFF THE RECORD: Alex faces his greatest foe yet! Furniture shopping with a women! How will he ever overcome this terrible fate? Find out next time on: OFF THE RECORD
you have intrigued me you get a fave
3905541 It will be... LEGENDARY
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I think I can say that I'm definitely liking this story. As of yet it certainly has it's faults, but the emotion is there, and as long as you have that you have something that can be enjoyed.
And because I am prone to bouts of speculation, I can only assume that Alex's sudden personality change is because of Discord and his flip flopping of the elements. After he's defeated he should turn back, but I'll also assume something must go wrong and he's never really the same again. Well, not all the same.
Wait, at one point he mentions multiple personalities in the new synopsis....
Well, now I know where the core of that issue will be. Don't know how that will work out for the not-as-of-yet-formed relationship with Dash, but I guess I'll have to wait and see.
One last thing, though. Since I think my my second to last comment was a bit vague, I want to try and reiterate my qualm with the relationship's start. (I was on my Ipod, you see).
That, right there, is the bane of all shipping. It's just so over used, and it's not even bad because of that fact, but because it's not natural. Most people don't second guess themselves, they just make the observation and go with the flow, like it's not a big deal. Because it isn't. One doesn't recognize the beginning of a burgeoning relationship, it steadily builds from little things until the presence in the heart is finally large and apparent enough. And then there's this:
He's not falling for her, there's no way that's happening at this point. He's attracted to her, infatuated with her smell (freakin' vanilla, just yum) and her looks. And I can understand the conflict there. She's a horse. He used to be a human. It's strange. And that's okay. But saying he's falling for her is a stretch I don't think even he'd make. It's too soon. Too sudden. And even though I've heard there's plenty of steady build up before anything actually happens, it's too abrupt.
Subtlety, man. Those to phrases ain't it. They highlight his feelings instead of obscuring them, letting the readers pick it out themselves. And let me tell you, it's the mark of a good story when the author gives just enough for the readers to piece it all together for themselves, and then bring it to it's conclusion, because they feel satisfied they saw it all along. It's aggravating, because I want this story to be as good as it can be.
Sorry for hounding on that topic, but it's one of my pet peeves in the genre. Just, here, let me smooth it over by saying this story is good shit. You've done a good job. I smile when I read it. And if you shouldn't be proud of that then I don't know what to hold dear anymore.
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I'm glad you point that stuff out, because it's totally the stuff that needs to be fixed.
But, i also have a huge problem with overstating things, and restating things. You'll see a couple of times that I mention the same thing across several chapters, when the issue should have been covered, and done with the first time.
But yeah... Hillside needs to be fixed for those reasons, and I'm sure i could touch up the overall delivery of the text as well.
But I'm happy to hear everything you have to say, and I'm glad you're liking it.
But if i weren't proud, which i am! But, if i weren't, all i would hold dear is ice cream. And pictures of the band One Direction.
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Actually, those phrases themselves were in the end of Griffon the Brush Off, but Hillside does have some overtly obvious things that could be dealt with too. Dat eye stare.
And you, my friend, have some strange things to hold dear. Definitely wouldn't have pegged you as a 1D fan. I will admit, though, that they have a few pretty good songs. The backing instrumentals are just awesome. As for me? Probably the Mass Effect trilogy and anything Bioware makes. Who needs people, right? Just gimme d'em fictional characters.
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I can anticipate the problems you'll have as they come, I know I had lots of problems in my writing, hell, still do. I promise I'll look at the beginning soon.
And I am not a 1D fan really. I do enjoy ME however. I'm playing Battlefield 4 as i write this.
Well that's one way to dust house xD
, “Earlier today I ate a bunch of cupcakes, farted, then fell asleep for three hours.”
Why did this line make me laugh my ass off?
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...I strangely wholeheartedly agree with you on that last bit.
“Actually... I uh…moved the house.”
i dont know why, but when i read that line i immediately thought of this:
cdn.meme.am/instances/400x/55238070.jpg
Hey, look who's here to catch up like three years laterrrrr (hint it's me.) Gonna be honest I don't remember a thing that was happening but I'm sure I'll probably remember...maybe