My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic -- Off The Record

by The King of Hearts

Invisible Friends

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Invisible Friends
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“Even though you can't blame her, you’re right. AJ was being a real bitch.” Alex said softly.

“No kidding, right?” Dash said, looking to him, and then back to the future version of herself, “but now at least we know the cause.”

“Okay, so we should probably head back to the Doctor then, yeah?” He asked, “We shouldn’t stick around too much in this time.”

“You’re right,” Dash nodded, looking to the past version of herself once more, before grabbing the Doctor’s magic sucker, and turning back toward the way they came, “The last thing we need right now is to get mixed up with that… other side of Pinkie.”

“I, personally, don’t think a little lezzing out would be the end of the world.” He reiterated… for the millionth time.

“I’m aware of your position on me missing around with another mare. But I already told you! I’d only do it if it was somepony famous, like a princess, or Countess Coloratura.”

“Does that mean I’m allowed to bang a super hot guy if I get the chance?” Alex asked, laughing as he matched pace with her, following just behind.

“Well, so long as they’re somepony that I’m okay with.” She answered, narrowing her gaze as she considered potential mates for her boyfriend.

“And… who would you be okay with?” He asked, his interest truly piqued.

Dash scratched her chin. This wasn’t something she had ever considered. What dudes could Alex bang?

“Soarin’.” She said quickly.

“Uhh…No duh. Have you seen that guy’s wings? Hubba hubba!” Alex laughed.

“Hmm… who else…” She pondered as they continued walking, “Shining Armor?”

“Mmmm, I don’t know if Twilight would be too happy with that one.” He said, letting out a loud ‘ha’.

“Okay okay… how about—“

“Daisy!” An excited voice called from just behind them

Both turned around to face Pinkie, who was suddenly walking along with them.

“Great.” Dash sighed.

“What? You don’t sound excited to see me!” Pinkie said, hopping in front of Dash, stopping the two of them, “I mean, at first I was gonna follow that old version of you, but then I realized, why not follow around the more experienced version of you?”

“Wait—“ Alex said, before either of them could continue talking, “Daisy? As in that scary muscle pony from the Wonderbolt stadium?”

“Oh yeah! I heard he’s a bottom!” She giggled.

Dash rolled her eyes.

“I’m going to be honest, I’ve had enough of chaotic sides for a lifetime I think,” Dash said to her, walking around her and continuing on her way, “It’s nice to have you acting normal, and not hitting on me, by the way.”

“But I’m not a dark side!” She said, keeping up with Dash, “That sad sack is named Sorrow! And my name is… well, it’s technically Pinkie. Nopony ever gave me a name!”

“Where did you come from then, if Discord didn’t make you?” Alex asked.

“The reflecting pool in the Everfree Forest!” She said, bubbly as ever, confounding the couple she was walking with.

“You don’t seem so evil to me right now,” Alex offered, shrugging to Dash, “What’s with the mood swing?”

“I have a little less filtration that your average Pinkie. Definitely not evil though! I mean, I think!” She said, “But you don’t wanna make me mad!”

“Right… So if you’re not evil, or- chaotic, whatever- then why were you making Applejack say such horrible things to me?” Dash asked.

“Because! If everypony hates each other, then I’ll be their only friend!” She said, acting so much like her original self, that it was almost scary to Alex, “And then, everypony must have time for me!”

“Honestly, I’m not going to waste my time trying to explain why that’ll never happen, we’re your friends. We’re not going to abandon you or something.” Dash sighed, as she kept on her path back to the Doctor.

“I know that’s not true!” She said, shaking her head, running in front of Dash to stop her from continuing, “You and Alex are getting married in a couple of months, Spike and Rarity hardly come out anymore, and Twilight is already pregnant!”

Both stopped in place and looked to one another.

“What?!” They both shouted, looking back to the pink mare with their mouths practically touching the ground.

“Oh yeah, baby.” Pinkie nodded, “Not only is she swimming in chaotic energy, but she’s got a bun in the oven! I’m so excited! Do you think she’ll ask me to babysit? Psh- what am I saying? Of course she will! I’ll be her only friend!”

While Alex and Dash both wanted to ask her just about a million questions, they knew that she probably couldn’t provide any of them.

“Listen, we need to get back to our time so we can talk to Twilight…” Dash said, “We’ll see you in the—“

“Oh no you don’t!” She shook her head, twitching her head as both Alex and Dash were trapped in a bubble of black magic, “I’m gonna be honest! I love the two of you together! You’re just so cute!”

Alex sighed as his suspended body floated through the gravity-less bubble, “Thanks.”

“So I won’t make you two hate each other, so long as you promise to hang out with me till… well, till you die, okay?”

Both of the trapped ponies tired to use their magic, but were simply unable.

“Pinkie, we aren’t even from this time!” Dash tried to reason, “There could be a major screw up in time and space if you don’t let us go!”

“I’m not dumb, you know.” She said, taking in an absolutely massive breath, “IfthetwoofyouwentbackintimejustafterIhadmylittleintrustionbetweenapplejackanddashiethenallIhavetodoiskeepyoufrominterferingwithyourpastselvesuntilthemomentyougobackintimewhichwillpreventanykindofdisasterfromtakingplace!”

“Oh… okay.” They both said dejectedly.

“Now come on! I’m going to go mess with Fluttershy and Rarity!” She said excitedly, as the two trapped in her bubble vanished from sight.

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Trixie sat in the mayor’s office, waiting patiently for an appointment.

She had decided to ask if she could put on another magic show, this time with some much friendlier themes.

However, she had been sitting here for almost half an hour now, and nopony had even acknowledged that she was here.

“Hmm… the door said it was open…” Trixie muttered to herself, “But, being impatient is something that the old Trixie would have done! The new and improved Trixie will be more than happy to wait! Trixie is a good pony now!”

She paused for a moment and scratched her chin.

”I think Trixie was referring to herself in the third person again.” Aurora’s voice hummed in her head.

“I was about to say that!” Trixie burst in to laughter, “Either way, I don’t mind waiting for a little bit. It’s not like anything else exciting is going on in town.”

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Comments

[cosmic flash]

Yay an update.

[FolkloreBrony]

As soon as they started talking about who they would want the other to fuck, I was like

[Lazydrill]

Dammit Pinkie!

Dash... Alex... you're now behind schedule! Twilight has a head start!

[pahnazd]

This version of Pinkie... is creepy. Incredibly creepy. Powerful enough so both Alex and Dash can't do anything (or they don't want to yet?), and the logic is not sane at all. Even less sane than Pinkie usually is.

I wonder how quickly will the others find out about Twi's pregnancy. And how will Shining react when he finds out

[Frankie2]

“Either way, I don’t mind waiting for a little bit. It’s not like anything else exciting is going on in town.”

Well, Murphy is about to change that.

7740579 I am so hoping that Shining yells at Twilight like she yelled at him.

[tsaukpaetra]

you know, we keep forgetting the time here. It was like 3am when Dash went to see Applejack, right? So what is everyone... Oh, wait, 3pm huh? Well there I go, off to rewrite some memory...