• Member Since 8th Oct, 2014
  • offline last seen Jan 27th, 2016


We are already dead.

Comments ( 411 )

I like this keep up the good work.

"You're my new favorite."

Sound like he will help everything they need.
Nice story, I like this story.

this was very good. interesting opening to what appears to be a great story... another Fic to add to my list...

I really hate it in HiE when Rainbow knocks out the human for little to no reason at all, and being labeled as a potential 'threat' isn't gonna cut it since he did absolutely nothing other than saying "yo" prior to that. I'm also disappointed at Twilight. As smart as she it, it took Fluttershy to inform her that the 'creature' they're restraining is too battered enough to even put up a fight, much less stand given that he has a broken leg and ribs.

"I understand that, but when it comes to any sort of undiscovered creature I just don't want to take any risks."

Unless Twilight is going to dissect him, it makes no sense for her to proceed to her 'sciencey experiment'. With his condition like that, there's a chance that the 'undiscovered creature' might lose his life if he doesn't get treated first before moving on with her shit... It's kinda alarming that Twilight doesn't have any sympathy for him. He is an undiscovered creature. Hello, medically treat him first or atleast even a little bit, dumb dumb. He was in a coffin for fuck sakes! :twilightangry2:

"Three... no, F-four! Four different head injuries! Oh dear..."

:ajbemused: See

The two main characters being OOC keeps me from fully enjoying the story. However, this is just the first chapter. This is interesting enough to make me keep on reading. The first chapters of most HiE I encountered are cliched anyways. Rainbow being a douche is kind of a given. Twilight on the other hand... :unsuresweetie:

Their pointless violence kinda throws me off :/

interesting :trixieshiftright: Let's see what happens.

*looks at picture*

i dont think you understand how oxygen and fire work.

lol but on a serious note i like this fic, i have never read anything like this.

5129844 well he lights up right after he's unearthed in the story, so it makes more sense then

This story has the potential to be very nice. Hopefully it wild blossom into it's own little fandom. Good luck

And if you need a content proofreader feel free to ask me!

Missing a crossover tag.

Curious to see how this goes. Also got me a new webcomic to read so thanks for that :twilightsmile:

EDIT: well those 7 pages went by in a flash. Shame that this comic looks abandoned, Still Keeping an eye on it and this story. I am nothing if not ever hopeful :pinkiesmile:

So Rainbow Dick strikes again

Well, this certainly looks interesting. Very nice descriptions, along with good writing quality and a pretty unique idea. :pinkiehappy:

It's just a shame the ponies are so ridiculously OOC that pretty much any enjoyment is utterly ruined. Seriously, the characterization in this single chapter was beyond terrible. Honestly, there's no way you can hand wave their actions with idiotic and nonsensical justifications, because they just don't work. The only way to fix this would be to rewrite it and have them act, you know, in-character.


Also, I guess 'Yo' isn't a very good indicator of intelligent speech or thought.

Because obviously the signs of thought along with him being clothed while carrying a bunch of stuff with him gave absolutely no sign of intelligence. :facehoof:

Honestly, the fact that Fluttershy was the only pony even slightly in-character is just sad... Rainbow doing her cliched "beat up main character at first sight," them having him tied up, none of them recognizing how obviously injured he was (so, what, now their stupid and blind?), the list just goes on.

Well, that's my impression of this chapter. It's an awesome idea, and you have the skill to pull it off, but the execution here (mainly characterization) is just poor. Sorry. :pinkiesad2:


Nice story, please continue it:pinkiehappy:

5152092 Had the same thought as you :rainbowwild:
Here is what I could find. It looks interesting but hasn't updated since June.


I wasn't expecting to be found out so quickly, or at all, or noticed in any way.

But my horrible secret is revealed! Yes I started a webcomic project in March of this year and have since June put it on Hiatus because of life issues, overall disappointment in art design and direction. It was easy enough to put on hold because the only ones who read it were some family and friends.

Fast forward to just a few weeks ago. I'm indulging in my guilty pleasure of My Little Pony fan fiction(mostly erotic) and I have some ideas enter my brain.

Feeling particularly adventurous, I decide to put my writing brain to work and start an incredibly self-indulgent story using the Detective himself. I even drew a thing for it I was so inspired.

Then a whole mess of people said stuff like, 'Well isn't this interesting.'

And I was thinking along the lines of, 'Okay just calm down.'

But I'm happily writing away.

And that, I guess, is that.

5153670 Oh You're the original creator! Neat :twilightsmile: And here I was thinking this was a Rule 50 momment. :rainbowwild:

I like it, the way of his intruduction was strange but funny in a way

fear of inclosed space's and feeling trap is reasonable fear for him.

But that didn't stop her hoof from finding another sensitive place to touch.

80% i will scream when who touch my sensitive place.

Pacing, story and character are very intriguing. Looking forward to reading more :pinkiehappy: Very nice work so far ^_^

A very interesting story, I look forward to reading more of this story. With Valentino's occupation I could see him playing part and helping out on any adventures once he starts getting a grasp on the culture, history and ins and outs of Equestria. After all being a detective he'd have to be pretty perceptive, think pretty fast on his feet and be good at solving problems, puzzles and unknowns.

Loved this chapter, it was great.

5163938 Of course, 10% sex - 10% random.
I almost had to go to the hospital because of it...


This is amazing, as soon as I finished the second chapter I logged on to my pc and searched you up just to tell you how much I love your work, even if its just two chapters right now I know you will go far. Keep up the good work.

God, we need more of this. Anxiously awaiting more!

Surprised they never took him to the hospital, or get a consult from the staff there. A case of them all getting distracted?

Very good so far, loving the whole Detective in Equestria thing. A fresh look on HiE stories,(The soldier or average joe stories get kind of bland after a while.) I am looking forward to new chapters.

OK you sucked me in. Have a like an fave. I just hope this isn't one of those stories that grinds to a halt and just stops getting updated because ya can't think of where to take it.

This has been great so far and I hope to see more. Faved.

Well meeting the Princess of the sun for the first time usually leaves people a little starstruck so its probably nothing.

If you are a human and appear in Equestria you must faint atleast once, it's a iron clad rule. :pinkiehappy:

Solar radiation's a bitch, ain't it?

Great story so far, look forward to the next chapter!

Well, the plot thickens...

At least he isnt a cold heartless bastard, though his worldview has taken a bit of a shock, hopefully for the better.

Dagnabit! Why must you leave us with a cliffhanger! :twilightangry2: I hope this will at least be updated sometime soon... :fluttershysad:

While you had some grammar mistakes (just a few), you managed to spell her name Apple Bloom and that's just... so great :coolphoto: You have no idea how happy that makes me. Not a bad chapter either.

I was just thinking that the griffin was having a senior moment. He escaped from a nursing home and was suffering from senility.

The way they described the incident at apple jacks was incredibly creepy. Smeone scratching at your windows and doors. Bangin on the side of your house. That was scary as hell. Even the stakeout was cool, but I was a little let down in the capture. Just an old griffon that the let go? What? The rest was great. I really look forward to reading more.

teresting I like this fic because it has a detective as the protagonist :rainbowkiss::rainbowdetermined2:

I wonder how it would be a fic with this character in NCIS

This is the seond detective in equestria fic that I've read, this one has a lot of potential, I'll be following this :D

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