mrponyguy
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I am sorry if the story kinda sucks writing wise. I didnt know whether or not this was a good concept, so I just wanted to get the story out there. If the idea picks up, I promisebi will be more descriptive in future chapters.
As for the lousy editing, that was due to me being lazy. If there are any mistakes you see, or better yet if you wanna edit, please don't be shy.
5113187 I see great potential in this story. If you are able to update it with edited, well thought chapters, then it would make it to the feature box for sure.
I have my eye on this.
You have my interest.
I like this. There are definitely some spelling errors and whatnot, but those can be fixed. I'm looking forward to the next chapters
5114399 yea, I know. I just with I had an editor or something. I am typing most of this from my phone, so I defiantly know I made some mistakes throughout the fic.
This is cool.
Sound like someone don't wan't to get out the house.
This definately could use some editing. Still pretty good though.
Remind me brook.
MOREEEEEEEEEEEE
5119444
5119444 lol, I will get right on it after I finish my job applications.
.... Scary spaghetti, huh.... Not Spooky Lasagna or Unsettling Linguini?
5121584 I almost went with malevolent macaroni, but my gut said no.
5123406
Haha..... Puns.
When you go to edit/write a chapter (or comment, btw), there is a button on the right hand side of the bar of buttons (which includes the bold, italics, etc. ones) that looks like two squares connected diagonally. The best way to use this feature is to highlight the section of text you want to be the link, then click the button. A popup will come up and ask you for the URL.
Still a great story, by the way. Quick question though, is this after the alicorn amulet episode?
5135720 Thanks a bunch, I love you so much right now. To prove it I might include your username as a character in a later chapter if you want.
To answer your question, yes it is. This is based right after season four, but the amulet will be brought up a couple times during the story.
Again thank you so much
not bad, one complaint though, if your going to put links to the songs, please put them where the songs are, and not just send us to youtube.
5136393 didn't know the links sent people to a different site. I thought they just opened a new tab and had the music play in the background. My mistake. I will fix that right away
5135886
You're welcome. Though, if you want to put my name in as an OC, I think you should just stick with Khan, because LittleKhan might sound funny as a pony name. But whatever, it's your story.
Ok, quick question y'all, is the Pinocchio song working for you guys? It's not working to my kindle.
5136445 thx
5136480 thank you very much for the use of your name.
The last two chapters were not boring. Seeing the characters interact like that and build/define their relationship is an interesting read.
As for the events in the next chapter, either approach would be fine. However, who says that it has to be completely one way or the other? Why not have some elements of both? Don't know how well that would work out, I suppose it depends on where you plan to take the plot. Just a thought.
Performance*
5139442 ...God damn it. I knew I sucked at editing, but this is a whole new low
It just got changed
5139857 Lol, just change the name to Performance if ya want more viewers.
use some Clever deception
run them all the fuck over while Trixie shoots out of the window
Release the krakin, I mean car!
5160449 Damm right bro, Time for show MOTHER FUCKER Hero.
5160536 And lets hope that he can bring out a performance that can make the changelings run away!
Oh shit! I'm dead?!? .... Well, I feel pretty good for being a dead guy...
Only one little problem... Chrysalis isn't dead... We know she isn't. She kidnaps the crusaders in one of the canon comics and is driven half insane by their rambling.
5162314 I'm sorry, but it had to happen. If it makes you feel better, you made a pretty good dead guy. :D
And while I intended for her not to be dead, I didn't know that she kidnapped the cmc, so the for that. I might use that in later chapters. I would explain why I wrote it in like that, but spoilers.
5162433
Well, I'm glad to know I'm adequate in being dead. I've always thought about starting a profession in the necrotic arts.
MORE GOOD YES
5162433
You don't have to include the comics canon in your story. I wouldn't.
Also, you have now deeply traumatized the entire town of Ponyville. Seriously, I don't think anything that has hit them before has been this bad. I think your story is now eligible for a dark tag.
Not that I'm saying this is a bad thing, it's still a good story, it's just... gotten real dark real fast.
Aw, for fuck sakes! I was just starting to get into this. *Slams head on keyboard*
5175336 my soul dream is to crush the hearts and souls of anyone who likes this story
Jk, I got the other chapter in the works right now.
Moar now.
Really enjoying this so far, I'll be awaiting the next chapter with baited breath. Thanks for Writing!
Activate the GTBO with crazy thinking mechanism!
sweet baby Jesus this chapter was amazing
First, She just kill a young colt. now next?
th06.deviantart.net/fs70/PRE/f/2014/073/7/d/gintoki_16_9_by_1erickf50-d7a86av.png
More More MORE
Yyyyeeeesssss, yyyeeessss! Your sorrow sustains me! Mourn, mourn! Private Spoon shall live again!!! MuhahahahahahhahhhHahahah!
This chapter was awesome! Just wondering how the Harmony Music Magic thing worked, or rather, why it was happening here and now.
damn your a good writer you end this chapter in a cliffhanger now i'm soooo tense i NEED to know what happens next please publish your next chapter soon i NEED to know what happens next this is a great story so far
Missing an a between those words.
The i should be capitalized.