• Published 14th Sep 2014
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Ponyville Public Access - Justice3442



The Ponyville Public Access channel is where any and all Ponyville residents can go to advertise whatever they want or force those with a T.V. to watch their antics.

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Fluttershy's Animal Care Advice

Author's Note:

Your truly shovels more coal into the engine of this diesel-powered crazy train.

If a TV is on in an empty room, does it still make images? Does it still produce sound? I mean… if someone isn’t there to perceive the glow of the TV and the voices, sound effects, and music of the TV, do we really know they’re happening?

The answer is, of course, yes. I mean… I just said it was on, didn’t I? I mean… Wow. How do you think TVs work? Sure this is the magical land of Equestria, but this isn’t some magic TV that senses when it’s being observed. It’s just a regular TV currently showing a program to the room around it.

“Spike? SPIKE! Where are you?! Don’t tell me you’re still cooped up inside!”

And now it’s showing it to the purple alicorn that just walked in.

“Oh! The Public Access Channel.” Twilight says happily as she trots in front of the TV. She gives out a quiet sigh. “I really need to tell Spike not to leave the TV on when he’s done watching it.”

“Welcome back…” a diminutive voice says from the TV.

“Oh, this must be Fluttershy’s Animal Care show!” Twilight says as she sits on her haunches and begins to watch.

Fluttershy sits in the middle of her cottage and smiles a little sheepishly at the camera. “Did you all have fun learning about keeping vampiric jack-a-lopes as pets?”

AHHHHHHHHHH!” A pegasus stallion with a dark gray coat, amber eyes and a short blue-silver mane and tale suddenly fly’s past Fluttershy's windows, a small horde of rabbits with antlers in pursuit. “KEEP THEM AWAY FROM ME!”

“I know I did!” Fluttershy continues to smile at the camera, either completely oblivious or simply ignoring the ruckus going on outside. She continues to talk to the camera, “Now pets come in all shapes in size… from the tiniest lady bug to big ol’ cuddly Elk. Today we’re learning about proper care for one of the bigger animals. In this case, a big, happy dog!” Fluttershy turns to her side. “Erm… You can come out now… if that’s okay with you…”

A bright yellow-colored mare with an orange mane and tail, emerald eyes, and three teddy bears for a cutie mark suddenly trudges into view with a leash tied around one of her forearms. At the end of the leash is a big, brown and white dog that’s easily the size of the mare herself. Its eyes dart around excitedly as it continually pants, a steady stream of drool coming off its tongue.

“Finally!” The mare exclaims. “This mutt just won’t leave me alone for a second. He’s always jumping on me and slobbering all over me!”

Fluttershy tenses slightly at the word ‘mutt’ be pushes on. “Erm… Well… establishing appropriate behavior between pet and owner is an important part of a working animal relationship… Maybe some obedience—”

The dog suddenly jumps up and places his front legs around its owner’s neck. It begins enthusiastically licking the yellow mare much to her chagrin.

“Down! DOWN!” the mare shouts as she tugs on the dogs leash and forces it to the ground.

The dog lowers itself onto its belly but continues to look up at the mare excitedly.

Awwww…” Fluttershy utters. “He’s jus’ a big ol’ puppy, ain’t he?”

“PUPPY?!” The mare exclaims. “Lady, he’s a massive monster!”

Fluttershy flinches again. “Monster might be a bit harsh…” she says with a small smile. “He’s just showing you how much he loves you.” Fluttershy’s face lights up. “Maybe we can work on his obedience!”

“Great idea!” The mare says. “I’ll leave the dog with you, and you can deal with all his jumping and slobber while I get away from it all!”

“Le… leave the dog with me?” Fluttershy says in a slightly concerned voice. “Erm… well… I do also run a special needs program and pet watching program here… Uh… How long would your…erm… ‘break’ be?”

“Oh I don’t know… Maybe forever!

“Fo-forever?”

The mare nods. “This thing has just gotten too big! Instead of me taking it out for walks, it takes me.

The dog returns to excitedly jumping up and down on its owner and licks her face.

The mare angrily yanks at its leash. “Down, boy! DOWN!

The dog returns to lying on its belly, its tail wagging excitedly.

Fluttershy looks at the animal then back at the mare. “Erm… um… well… I don’t think that’s such a good idea…”

“Oh, it’s not a good idea,” the mare says. “It’s a great idea!”

Fluttershy sighs, purses her lips and lets out a fluctuating whistle into in the air that reverberates around her cottage.

The dog sits up, places its muzzle in the air, and howls. The mare covers her ears. “Lady! What are yoooouuuu…” the mare stares at something off-screen and trails off as the very cottage seems to shake and a loud stomping noise is heard that’s getting louder and louder.

“Oh… oh my…” The mare utters as her eyes go wide and her jaw hangs agape.

A fully grown brown bear suddenly stomps into the room, it eyes the mare hungrily as its lower jaw hangs open revealing rows of large sharp teeth. Droll falls from its wide-open maw in thick globs onto the hardwood floor.

Fluttershy stares at the mare. “Mr. Bear doesn’t think that’s such a good idea, either.”

The mare shoots a nervous glance at Fluttershy then one at Mr. Bear, then another at Fluttershy. Her mouth still wide open, she laboriously forces her lips into a vaguely smile like shape. “Wouldn’t… wouldn’t want to upset Mr. Bear now, would we?”

Fluttershy shook her head. “You really don’t.”

“Well then…” The mare says as she turned and stares at the door with a desperate expression on her face. “I’ve suddenly decided to love my pet now unconditionally… forever… So it looks like I won’t need to leave it with you after all!”

The dog leaps up and starts licking its owners face again. This time the mare looks at it and forces a crooked smile onto her face even as that face is coated with a thick layer of doggy slobber.

Fluttershy smiles. “That’s okay, just as long as you’re committed to a healthy, and most of all, long relationship with your animal.”

“Oh… I’m committed, alright…” the mare grumbles as she trudges off towards the door to the cottage, tugging at the leash and collar attached to her massive dog. The dog licks the air next to Fluttershy before it’s dragged away.

Fluttershy watches pet and owner leave then turns to grin at the camera. “Remember everypony, a pet is a friend for life. Whether that’s its life or your life is entirely up to you.” She turns. “Right Mr. Bear?”

The bear lets out a small roar in agreement.

Fluttershy turns back towards the camera and gives it a slightly sheepish smile. “Join us next time when we explore why it’s maybe not such a great idea to own 500 cats…”

“Hey, Fluttershy?” a voice calls out from off-screen.

“Oh, why it’s Applejack!” Fluttershy says cheerfully. Fluttershy turns. “Hello Applejack, what brings you to my home this fine day? Do you have a farm animal that you need advice on taking care of?”

Applejack trots into view and shakes her head. “Nope! Everything is apple-keen at the farm!” she says with a smile.

Fluttershy purses her lips ever so slightly. “Er… Applejack? I think you meant ‘peachy-keen’.”

Applejack narrows her eyes. “I know what I said.”

Fluttershy swallows and takes a half-step back. “OH…ermuh… then what… does bring you to my home…? If you don’t mind me asking, that is…”

“I got a letter back from Golden Delicious about being on your show here,” Applejack says.

“Oh?” Fluttershy says, her face lighting up. “That’s great! We’re filming right now! This will be a great segue to our next episode.”

“I’m not so sure about that…” Applejack says.

Ermoh… okay…” Fluttershy says. “Why…? What did Golden Delicious say?”

“She says you can have her cats over her dead body.”

Fluttershy went quiet for a beat then sighs. “Well, if that’s the way she wants this to go down…” She looked up at Mr. Bear. “Come on, Mr. Bear. We better get some train tickets.”

Applejack simply stands in place for a bit, then her eyes go wide. “Now hold on here a minute!” she protests.

Fluttershy trots up to the camera, and the picture suddenly shifts towards the hardwood floor that moves underneath. Eventually the wood changes to steps, then ground as Applejack’s voice continues to call out.

“Fluttershy! Fluttershy! You get back here with that bear, ya hear?! Fluttershy!

The picture suddenly blinks out replaced by static.

Twilight shakes her head and sighs. “I really need to explain my friends the value of editing something before giving it to the channel… and also maybe the value of not threatening ponies with a bear mauling…”