• Published 14th Sep 2014
  • 4,017 Views, 357 Comments

Ponyville Public Access - Justice3442

The Ponyville Public Access channel is where any and all Ponyville residents can go to advertise whatever they want or force those with a T.V. to watch their antics.

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Greasy Pizza's

Author's Note:

Today's slice of weird brought to you by MythrilMoth!

A stallion with a mottled yellowish-white coat and a ton of acne, wearing a straw boater and a loud yellow vest, stood in front of the camera.

"Hi kids! Are you looking for a place to bug your parents to take you for your birthday party, celebration of not flunking that big test, or just basically to have a blast with fun games and pizza and prizes?"

"Well come on down to Greasy Pizza's Pizza Party Playhouse!" The stallion motioned behind him, where a building easily four barns wide stood, with a gaudily-painted sign bearing his face and the name 'Greasy Pizza's Pizza Party Playhouse' above the double wide front doors. "Come on in, check it out!"

The stallion and the camera entered the store, where things were whizzing and dinging and blinking and buzzing in all directions.

"At Greasy Pizza's Pizza Party Playhouse, we've got pizza!" The stallion held up a large slice of cheese pizza, which dripped grease from the runny, soggy cheese topping. "We've got games!" The camera panned to a bank of video game cabinets. "We've got skee ball!" The camera panned to a row of skee ball machines in the back corner of the store. "We've got prizes!" The camera panned across the highest shelf of a rack of stuff behind two bored-looking cashiers; dozens of massive plushies lined the top two racks, as well as things like a complete electric train set. "And we've got FUN!

"So come on down to Greasy Pizza's Pizza Party Playhouse, and you can have as much fun as these happy fillies and colts!"

The camera panned over a group of decidedly unhappy-looking foals.

A yellow earth pony filly with a red mane topped with a big bow frowned. "The food here's awful."

A marshmallow-colored unicorn filly with a two-tone mane and green eyes looked troubled. "That puppet band that keeps playing every ten minutes really creeps me out."

An orange pegasus filly with fuschia hair shook her hoof angrily at the camera. "There's no way to win any of the good prizes! They cost too many tickets! All you get is crap like this!" She jingled the ring of plastic beads and charms she wore around her neck. "And I wanted that awesome jetpack..."

Behind them, several other foals made similarly disgruntled noises and complaints.

An orange mare with a blonde mane, wearing a brown Stetson, trotted up behind the foals. "Ah'm awful sorry about these kids," she said. "But this place is kinda..." She tilted her head. "What's th' word Ah'm lookin' fer...?"

"CRAPPY!" the three fillies shouted in unison.

"...eeeyup, that's a word fer it alright. C'mon, y'all, let's go t' Sugar Cube Corner. Ah'm sure Pinkie Pie'll turn them frowns upside down."

"YAAAY!" The entire crowd of foals followed her out the front door, the camera following them all the way.

"He-HEY! Wait! Don't go! You can win mo--we'll double the tickets, alright? Double! ...Triple? Please...don't go..."

A slice of pizza slapped the stallion in the face from off camera with a wet plap. "I'm telling my DADDY how bad this place is!" a pink filly wearing a tiny tiara screeched. She and her little grey friend kicked the stallion in the knees, then stormed out.

"...come down...to...Greasy Pizza's...where all the...food and fun is...ow..."