• Published 14th Sep 2014
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Ponyville Public Access - Justice3442

The Ponyville Public Access channel is where any and all Ponyville residents can go to advertise whatever they want or force those with a T.V. to watch their antics.

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Law and Horder

Author's Note:

Pump It Up writes a thing and introduces continuity to our dreary lives! Heavens!

This time, the TV shows something entirely new—a commercial for a TV show!

Spike leans forward on the couch, nearly toppling off.

The words “Law and Hoarder” in Times New Roman font appear on the screen, with a blue glow outline for the word “Law” and a red glow outline for the word “Hoarder” as happy—yet somehow somber—music plays. “Next time, on Law and Hoarder.

“Oh, Dashie?” Pinkie Pie says, standing in Sugarcube Corner. “Yeah, she’s def a hoarder! She keeps everything! Old newspapers (especially if they’re about her), cupcake wrappers, even old con—”

The scene cuts to Rainbow Dash’s house, which is strangely immaculate; literal shines keep appearing behind Rainbow. “Huh? Oh, no, I don’t hoard!” She chuckles, her eyes staring far too long directly at the camera. “Whoever told you that?!”

The scene then cuts to Applejack, who is standing in front of her barn with a bemused expression. “Yeah, she’s hidin’ all th’ stuff here,” she says bluntly. “She needs t’ get th’ stuff out soon, though, ‘cuz it’s almost time t’ raze the barn so we can raise th’ barn.” Almost on cue, the barn shudders, and Applejack quickly looks behind her.

Now it’s back to Rainbow, who is pointing to herself. “Definitely not a hoarder who hides her stuff elsewhere!” she says with an obviously fake smile.

“Silly Rainbow!” Pinkie says, standing upside down in the camera frame. “You know you can’t fool people like that!”

Rainbow jumps, her wings flaring and flapping, causing her to rise a few feet and almost bump into the pink mare. “PINKIE!”

“Rainbow, you have a problem!” Twilight says dramatically, running into the room.

“Wait, how’d you—”

“Dear, it is highly uncouth to hoard!” Rarity says, tossing her mane. “If you must hoard, you must organize, not place it wherever it happens to land!”

“Huh? Seriously, how did you guys get in here?” Rainbow blinks. “Wait, Rarity, do you hoard?”

“Um, I think I hear Sweetie Belle calling!” Rarity gallops out of the frame, and the sound of a door closing is heard.

Twilight looks around the room, as does the camera pony. “Wait, where’s Fluttershy?”

Pinkie giggles, still upside down. “She decided to help Applejack blow up her barn!”


The screen quickly cuts to black as Rainbow starts growling and her eye starts twitching, and then to Sugarcube Corner.

“So, what’s the law part of the show?” somepony off-screen asks.

“Hm?” Pinkie Pie looks up from the cake she’s eating. “Oh, that’s when we go to court for trespassing!”

“Defense of the accused, do you have anything to say?”

The scene is now a courtroom, with many sleeping ponies. A bag of cement in a bowler hat sits next to Pinkie Pie, who puts a pair of glasses on it, then whistles innocently.

“Would you like to bring in any more witnesses?”

Pinkie discreetly makes the bag nod to the judge, who sighs.

“Call the next witness.” The judge leans back in her chair, her eyelids drooping.

Law and Hoarder: coming soon to a TV near you,” a stallion’s voice says over a black screen.

“And courtroom!” Pinkie adds, standing in front of the words “Law and Hoarder” that has just appeared.

“Um, sure.”