Ponyville Public Access

by Justice3442

Fluttershy's Center for Special-LOONY LUNA'S LOUDSPEAKERS

Author's Note:

Tired Old Man rolled around on his keyboard and produced this gem.

The TV wakes up out of its small break, unsure of why it's awake. It's the middle of the day. Doesn't this dragon have things to do? A mare to swoon? Gems to hoard? Something?!

In any case, the TV diligently displays a lovely little yellow cottage at the edge of a rather dark forest. Peeking outside the front door is a butter mare with straight pink hair, though one could hardly tell that as she barely made herself visible on camera.

"H...Hello..." She squeaked in a tone so low the TV's volume is adjusted immediately afterward. "M-My name is...Fluttershy and..." The volume increased further. "...this is my animal care center." Just two ticks below max volume now.

"If...If you have animals with special needs or...just need somepony to watch them for a few days, then I can watch them. So...if you have one and need to bring them somewhere...then-"

"WE CAN HELP!" The TV shook violently as its speakers strained to output the booming noise. The dragon watching the TV flew back into the shelves behind him. Books rattled off the shelves and clattered to the floor, and on the dragon, in a chaotic cluster.

On the TV, Fluttershy "Eep"ed and shut the door as a deep blue alicorn donning onyx regalia landed ceremoniously upon the grass just outside the cottage. She then turned toward the camera.

"GREETINGS! I am Princess Luna, and WE have a wonderful opportunity for YOU, citizens of Equestria!" In a small explosion of paper and hardbound covers, Spike leaped from the pile of books and fumbled with the volume controls. He lowered it a few ticks before Luna said, "Are you having troubles getting your small business off the ground? If so, then you need a BIG way to reach across the land, and WE can help with that! Observe!" Finally, the volume came down to just one tick at the end of Luna's announcement just as she approached Fluttershy's door.

After a few knocks, the door opened slightly. "O-Oh, hello, Princess Luna." Spike groaned, and turned up the volume again. "What brings you out here?" Fluttershy asked.

"WE came to help, Fluttershy! Now, what is it you are advertising?" The volume shot down again as Spike now had his thumb primed at the volume controls, set to raise and lower it as needed.

"I-It's nothing much. Just a care center for special needs animals."

"Excellent!" At that, Luna grabs Fluttershy's hoof and takes her out of her home, keeping her at her side and directly in front of the camera. Fluttershy wilted at her sudden spotlight appearance, and attempted to mask herself behind Luna's wing.

Luna remained unfazed, and began.

"HELLO, citizens of Equestria! Do you have an exotic creature in your custody that you know little to nothing about? Has your Orthos drooled a gallon or ten of slobber all over you, and you wish to have some time away from their flood of saliva?

"Or perhaps you have a lonely cockatrice that's stared at you once too many times at night, and assuming you're not turned to stone, you'd like that nasty habit of theirs broken in before you crumble under the pressure."

Luna flared her wings, revealing Fluttershy. "FEAR NO LONGER, citizens! For Fluttershy here--"

"Eep!" Fluttershy fell to the ground and covered her head with her hooves.

"--shall tackle these problems for you! She's handled them all! Manticores, Dragons, and even an unstable Draconequus! There's no creature she hasn't conquered!

"She'll tame your Ursas, major or minor! And Hydras? It doesn't matter how many heads there are--she'll handle them all at the same time!" Luna stopped, and looked down at the cowering mare now underneath her legs. "Won't you?"

Fluttershy peeked out from the gap in Luna's legs. "I-I'm not sure if I can handle that many--"

"Of course you can!" Luna reaffirmed. "This is a special needs animal clinic, and you must be prepared to satisfy all their needs!"

Fluttershy gulped. "A-All of them?"

"Every. Last. One," Luna stated with unabashed certainty.

"...I...I think this is a bad idea now."

Luna flashed a smile so bright it blinded the camera for a moment. "Nonsense! WE have faith in you, but more importantly, you should have faith in yourself! Believe in the you that believes in you!"

At first seeming greatly inspired by Luna's faith, Fluttershy tilted her head a moment later. "...wait, what does that even mean?"

"I have no idea!" Luna faced the camera again. "But she can do it! So come on down to Fluttershy's Special Needs Animal Clinic, where she'll give them the proper treatment they deserve!

Luna then pointed forward. "And while WE are at it, if YOU should find yourself in need of advertisement, seek out Luna's Loudspeakers TODAY!"

The advertisement ends with a large blue "Luna's Loudspeakers" logo, with tiny text below reading, "Now Hiring! Inquire by mail, shouting Luna's name, or in your dreams. Earmuffs optional, but probably mandatory."

And the TV fell silent once more. Spike breathed a sigh of relief before setting down the remote and nursing his sore thumb as he headed to the bathroom.

"Oh man, that commercial was intense! When's the next one?"

The TV didn't want to know.

Comments

[ZealousChristian24]

Poor Fluttershy...

[Nightmare]

is that... Dan? in the cover?

[Justice3442]

5277861

That or his Equestrian world equivalent, I suppose. The cover art is from a frame of one of Mixermike622's videos.

[MythrilMoth]

Luna flashed a smile so bright it blinded the camera for a moment. "Nonsense! WE have faith in you, but more importantly, you should have faith in yourself! Believe in the you that believes in you!"

mythrilmoth.net/misc/gurrenluna.png

[MythrilMoth]

5278061 Specifically in response to this.

[Tired Old Man]

5277896

Welp, that's going in my image folder. Thanks, Moth.

[MythrilMoth]

5278234 Thank YOU for giving me giggle fits picturing Luna as Kamina.

"Who in Tartarus dost thou think We are?!"

[meerkat8472]

Hmm, Special Needs Animal Clinic? Am I the only one concerned that the acronym for this is SNAC?

She's handled them all! Manticores, Dragons, and even an unstable Draconequus! There's no creature she hasn't conquered!

Wow, that's quite the list of conquests... Wait! No! that came out wrong!

[WorldWalker128]

5279390
Considering that she'll need to tend to all their needs, maybe it didn't come out wrong.