Swedishdude
Joined 21st Mar, 2012 ·
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It was very good, although your English needs a lot of work. I'd strongly reccomend finding an editor for this story.
448263 Yes I know my English sucks :(
Thanks for replying :)
That was great.
I'm hoping this story gets featured, cause' it really deserves it.
Really good job you did on this even despite the few grammar mistakes I saw.
Also, FIRST YEAH I AM THE BEST WOOO I AM THE GREATESSSSTTTTTT OH YEAH
Edit: Wait... shoot.
I have no wings and I must fly.
Yea, well, good luck trying to make that work.
448296 Thank you mate, this warmed my heart <3
448321 Eeyup, sucks to be dash am I right?
448326 I've actualy read Harlan Ellisons short story "I have no mouth, and I must scream." You do a pretty good job of making your fic different from the story, without straying too far from the source material. Great job!
448341 Thanks mate! I hoped no one actually would have read the original cause I thought they where to alike
But if you say they aren't, then I have somehow succeded :3
Nice job. I'll throw you a like.
448362 I like likes :3 thx
I automatically gave you thumbs up for making crossover with "I Have No Mouth, and I Must Scream"
I would give you another for this amazing work of yours. Alas, I can thumb this up only once.
448386 Thank you ^^
Your English could use some work, and I don't usually read dark, horror-esque stories like this, but hey! You did real good.
I read the original story in my own language, and honestly, they are different. I like your version like I did the original. It's really good, fav'd.
448426>>448439 thank u both :3
Fly on the wings of steam
448530 unfinishedman.com/wp-content/uploads/2010/05/Bird-jet-steam-e1274749085593.jpg
This story was amazing!
I gotta read this original source now, although I'm sure this one is better (mainly because of ponies 
)
Edit: It was depressing and very well written, minus the grammar mistakes which could be easily fixed. I don't even know how to feel anymore
448584 Well, it IS a known fact that ponies does everything 20% coller (duh!)
Edit after you edit: Yea, I found my version to be more touching than the original, but the original is better made :>
I gotta read the original story now. This was brilliantly made.
448682 Thank you mate :3
I HAVE NO MOUTH AND I MUST SCREAM!
oh hey wait it is based off it
448831 crossover mate, crossovers everywhere
Someone else doing it presumably far better.
All the more reason for me to cancel my I Have No mouth crossover.
I have no mouth and I must neigh
Aw man, I love this crossover so hard, and I haven't even read it yet. I Have No Mouth and I Must Scream is one of my favorite short stories.
Also, AM is a magnificent bastard. Have you played the video game version? Magnificent. Bastard. Guy could give GLaDOS a run for her money.
...But I'm getting off topic, gotta read it!
Pre-read comment: holy crap, "I have no mouth, and i must scream" is one of my favorite shorts ever! Definetly reading.
Wow that was great. Although there were a good few grammar mistakes, it was very enjoyable.
)
You kept it along the same lines as the original, but it wasnt just an exact replica. (I was happy that you didnt give anypony
a giant ****.
I also really liked how you made it seem like RD could escape a the end. You even gave me a false sense of hope.
But then the title made sense.
Poor pinkie
Anyways , liked and favorited. :)
rule no. 1: never EVER give machines sentience(sp?)
I have no thumbs and I must like.
it's really good, just a few spelling mistakes.
This must be featured. Alert the proper authorities!
I was just reccomending IHNMAIMS to people today. Your timing is impressive :D
I enjoyed the original and I enjoyed this. The spelling errors were rather significant though.
COMEON PEOPLE! Can someone pleeease tell me WHERE the spelling sucks so I can fix it :3 My native language isn't English after all...
449250 I see what you did there!
449216 Yea, I didn't want it to be turned into... something close to a clopfiction :)
And what does everyone mean when they say "This must be featured"? Sry for being new here £:
EDIT: Thank you SIGAWSOME for editing my story and corrected all the faults! Now this story is almost grammarproof :D
This is really well done! It's depressing and interesting at the same time.
Only two problems: Grammar and punctuation.
I notice that many sentences are missing proper punctuation and have some grammatical errors. All you really need to do is fix those and you've got a perfect story!
Great job!
457341 So it is STILL not flawless from grammatical error :(? Can you perhaps name some examples?
459763Alright, well I was Xtremely tired last night, and I seem to misread things in that state. Looking back on this story again, I realize that the grammar and punctiation is near perfect. Like, 99% perfect. I am very sorry for that.
I really need to stop reading at four in the morning...
Should I remove my other comment?
461943 I gonna be honest with you: after you pointed out that there was still grammar faults I re-read it (for, like, the sixth time now :S) and tried to find as many grammar faults as possible. And I found some, and corrected it. That is why you problably don't find it anymore :3
And there is no need to remove your other comment :) Thank you for appriciated my story :) (Btw have you stopped on your story because of your unborn children? I remove this if you think it is not suitable to write something like this in a commentary section
)
464716Naw, that's okay. Which story are you talking about? I have two.
'Return of Evil' is on hiatus, and I'm currently working on chapter two of my other one called 'Haunted Memories'
I haven't really been working on chapter two that much, though. I don't know why. Maybe it's because I'm excited and stressed out about the baby, and it's giving me a slight writers block. I don't know.
465987 well it is the "haunted memories" im refering to. I'm don't want to put any pressure on you, I was just wondering if it was under progress or if you just gave it a break because of the baby :P
465993Oh, no pressure at all. I keep getting small ideas here and there for chapter two, and I'll be sure to use some of 'em.
But yeah, it's on it's way!
466013 Yea, I wanna read some action soon! :D Good to hear it's on its way!
466019And you shall.
'I have no mouth and i must scream' was one of the stories that really makes me scared. This makes me to do the same.
479953 :D Glad you liked it!
damn, i read a review about the source and its game in an article of gameinformer, very intriging story (not creeped out, just intrigued) and this follows suit, although 20% cooler with ponies. you know your craft well, i liked the beginning with everyone thinking AJ is dead, (although if this happened later in the story you should have rarity and fluttershy be super jealous that aj is dead) would have cared for twi to be elaborated more as in if she really cares/ is depressed about the whole affair. and pinky... damn man to break her will, that would take a lot of sheer will, not just turning her into an angry emo like in S2 ep. 1&2, but pure will breaking must have been tough, but rares didnt change too much except for being a bigger bitch. FS seemed pretty straightforward turning into an animal. I wonder what AP did to the other races and if they're not dead then how could they not have been found as you said AP was only pissed with ponykind, and i kinda want to know what would happen if spike was there, maybe being really pissed at everyone? you have a well crafted crossover here the likes of which aren't commonly seen, keep up the good work (btw i was linked here from RD must die, although since there is only 1 chapter i havent read it yet :3)
I like it
it was... how... just HOW do you put that into words. you said you based it off of a real story (a real book, anyway.) but... just HOW!
Amazing story, save for some grammar issues. (I saw you got proof reader, but I'm not sure if they missed some stuff or you just forgot to click save when you rewrote it...)
Thumbs up from me!