Starsong is curious about the Solar Empire and decides to cross over from the Lunar Republic. Little does she know what will happen to her and the republics on her adventure.
Chapters (2)
- Member Since 18th Jul, 2014
- offline last seen Nov 22nd, 2022
StarsongtheAlicorn
Hi, I'm a pegisister artist and I also love to write stories. Sorry if I lack in good writing skills.
StarsongtheAlicorn
Joined 18th Jul, 2014 ·
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2011 called, they want their pony memes back.
Borders. It's Borders.
Also, self insert. Nuff said.
This felt really rushed. I was also not a fan of the dialogue, it seemed a little fake to me.
4982207 Yarr! Be there pirates about, matey? Who be boardin' me vessel?
4982345 Avast!
We all know what happens when you cross a boarder: He gets angry!
Don't cross the boarders!
4982434 Shiver me timbers, matey, they be tryin' ta plunder our plunder! Quick, to the rail! Stand by to repel boarders!
4982531 Go on ye scurvy dogs, to starboard! We must fight back Against the Boarders! Grab your cutlasses and blunderbusses! Repel those mangy flea-bitten scoundrels!
4982546 Aye, cap'n! We'll drive 'em back, get those yellow-bellied bilge rats in range of the main guns!
4982557 Arrgh! There be too many boarders crossing over. And the spelling errors are too numerous. We can't stop them all! Abandon thread!
This makes me not want to write my Solar/Lunar story.
AKA: this story sucks.
Good god, a story that has 12 Dislikes and No likes?!
We must go for the gold people, We must get a story that is truly hated!
4982868
Sorry that my writing and spelling skills aren't that great........ I am afraid to put out my next story now.......
4982223 Well thanks any way for some input that is not negative
.
4986368
I'm sorry that I couldn't do any better......
4998995 People honestly don't offer enough friendly critiques or feedback, so I try to.
I will say that this story is a start ! Do not give up ... in time you will get better ... and take the critic of others and make something new, but there will always be thouse that will hate no mather what !
My first story is at 12 likes, 17 dislikes. My second has about 40 likes and 10 dislikes. Don't give up! Keep trying! Look at what others have written, try to write a little like them.
5015071 Thanks for the advice.
5007041 Thanks much for the advice!