Equestria is dead. Using massive weapons of utter destruction, the Caribou have killed all but a handful of ponies, including Princess Twilight. But leaving the Princess of Magic alive was folly. After all, love conquers all. Even death.
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Equestria has risen again, hooray! It's gotten more interesting too! Hopefully Spike can be hatched again. Ooh, a sequel! Let's hope Ash'ei and co. DIE HORRIBLY! I didn't see that twist coming. First comment!
Maybe I missed something but... what about Trixie ?
She isn't mentionned in this chapter , which is surprise given her role in everything... and her new powers. I would have though that Twilight would ask her to be her consort or something ... not ask Cadence.
5128648 Oh, there was an allusion to Trixie's fate in one of the chapters before. She's to become the Duchess of Neigh Orleans, and her followers will follow her there. It will be added more strongly in Trixie's story.
Well its done, and I have to say I'm glad to see how it turned out. It was one of the darkest stories I have read all the way though, but the beautiful moments of love and emotion pulled though so well it was fantastic. Also glad to have had a happy ending. Bit surprised there was no comment on the fact that spike is now an egg again though.
Overall I liked it. Well done.
The ending is a touch abrupt, but understandable with three sequels planned. I've enjoyed this story for it's beginnings to this end and I'm looking forward to what's coming next. This mention of a new school for magical learning and experimentation has grabbed my interest. I really like the way magic was handled in this story and I'd love to see it dug into some more. What other fascinating things could be discovered? I don't know but I'd like to find out.
On one hand, an entire nation of zombies is one of the most hardcore-badass things I've heard this month!
On the other, I'm not a big fan of the whole Caribou sex enslavement of all pony kind thing I've caught glimpses of...
5128654
Speaking of the side stories, how are they coming along?
now I'm curious to see if this new school will mirror the events of the Real Life Manhattan Project (heh, the Manehatten Project) where Equestria will produce its own Thermomagical Weapons, as well as technological advancement (I.E a Jet Powered, Supersonic Imperial Air Force, an Imperial Nuclear Powered Navy, advances in Medical Technology for the Imperial Medical Corps, improved Body Armor technology and Weapons for the imperial Army, as well as advances in Communication for both the Military and Home front) for the coming war.
Just an awesome story!! Can't wait for the sequel
Just read the whole thing through a second time and I have to say that this has to be my favorite part. However I noticed you didn't mention the changelings again after this. may I ask why? I would have expected them to have done something during all the fighting.
Aww man if this sequel invole humans, i am out of here. I stuck by this because it was good. Please dont kill with humans.
Mmmmmmmm. You know, I'm not sure how I feel about this story. I think these last couple of chapters have lost the interesting moral dilemmas of the earlier chapters. Instead, it feels more like you wanted to set up an AU that could be continued, and I think that weakened the story you have quite a bit, cheapening it in many ways.
I suppose I really just wish it better balanced the good and the bad, rather than straight up pushing into this rather saccharine ending.
On a minor note, I was annoyed that Equestria remained an empire, and that Twilight and Cadance will be Empresses while Celestia and Luna step back. In so many ways it feels OOC and extremely demeaning to the alicorn sisters. Perhaps it is that I am a big fan of both Celestia and Luna, but I think this story has gone off the rails a little bit too much for me to enjoy any side-stories/continuations.
These last chapters felt rushed, and much was glossed over that could have been explored deeper to continue to moral morass you were creating.
As for an AU that can be further explored, I look forward to more. Much, much more.
After all, a good tale is hard to come by, and while the last chapters were a bit sparse and watered down, the overall meal was quite delicious.
And I am always hungry.
Nice chapter, but it is sad and a bit unexpected to see the Princesses downgraded to Professors.
An excellent segue into what I did not expect to be a human-involved story. Quite an accomplishment, actually.
I still think the entire story is weird from the point they go to the crystal empire.
The "head-canon" has Cadance as one of the causes of the Fall. Yet here she is good and an actual victim.
Meanwhile the ending was rushed but it wasn't bad or anything.
I other words this story confuses me.
5129189 Twilight was afraid of repercussions amongst any ponies in her army that might have prejudices against Changelings, so she didn't include them in the force that retook northern Equestria, instead leaving them to fight for the southern half of the empire. Of course, now that it's rebuilding time, Changelings will most certainly have a larger role to play.
5130063 OK then, but was that mentioned in the story or did u just make it up then. I must have missed it.
5130101 It was alluded to, but I admit, was not fully explained, no. My bad.
5130108 Forgiven
Humans now?! Potential allies to the Imperium?
Awesome story! loved every second of it, except for one thing: Awww, humans
And now a new element is involved. I wonder just from whence these disrespectful creatures truly come from...and where they have been, though the last few lines gave some clue...
I doubt the humans of that world is the equestria girls one. But I'm sure sunset shimmer and the eqg verse are willing to help in the war if to just free the humans. Than again for what twilight has done for them I might be wrong on the just the humans one. Anyway I'm willing to take a shot at this universe after the centaur war. And just to warn you I will pair spike with rarity those two balance each other out to me.
From the small details at the ending I guess he is ruling over the Roman Empire? They are known for their marble architect and slavery so that what drew me to that conclusion.
This part should be reworded.
I don't see how Trixie influenced anything, she didn't really have a part in the EoH + Crystal Heart magical explosion. She just watched.
Opening quote.
I am wondering what sort of responsibilities Trixie and Lyra have been given. Is Trixie the only alicorn duchess, how well are the changelings integrating into this new Equestrian society under their human crazed queen? Twilight's corrupted soul did little to change ponies, ones that liked Celestia and Luna got changed far more.
This was an amazing story. Can't wait for the sequel to be out.
Nobody could really get close of stopping them ponies so I guess it needed a bit of a challenge for them to keept the story more interesting.
Also seems like someone plays Guild Wars 2 lol xD
Seems a tad anti-climactic and the effects on the ponies seemed rather vague, hopefully that will be addressed more directly at some point for ponies other than the mane six. I find it a tad confusing honestly that those already raised to their previous forms could have them perverted by magic in the manner described. It's not clear what parts the Crystal Heart and Elements of Harmony played. If Nightmare Moon had anything to do with Ash'ei, then I see no reason the Elements of Harmony shouldn't have simply purged all of the 'dark magic'.
Also, Celestia and Luna stepping down or at least out in such a fashion seems somewhat out of character for them. In some ways, Twilight's success was sheer dumb luck and she nearly lost.
Are the Caribou really evil or they are just strongly affected by this Ash'ei guy?
Humans, huh... I did not see that coming.
Great story you have written here! Can't wait for the sequels!
I hope that the humans win the war during the first round, instead of being utterly destroyed, then winning.
Honestly, I didn't enjoy this story. The characters were archetypes at best, the reasoning contrived and everything was insanely rushed. Unfortunately, there are few enough stories as is that deal with a somewhat original antagonistic force these days, even if the Caribou were effectively stereotypical Nazis. I don't think there was more than one scene that went deeper than generalization. "Telling" as opposed to sitting down and showing how the characters felt. Easy enough to say a mare "uncomfortably shuffled", but that doesn't tell me anything. Specifically how? Why? If you have to tell me something without events happening in the story to or by the characters, I probably didn't need to know.
I'm glad that you at least finished it, even with however many strings left loose for the obligatory sequel hook. The grammar and prose itself was mostly without flaw, which is more than I could say for most stories in the feature box.
To condense my opinion down as far as possible; "6/10, needed to be slower, otherwise a competent idea executed fairly well enough."
Sorry for the late reply, this is the first time that I've been on this website for the past couple weeks now. I took a bit of a break.
Anyway, my thoughts on this story. Very glad to see that Equestria is back and has a new life in itself. Very interesting how not only Twilight is ruler of the Equestrian Empire, but Cadence as well. Empress Twilight Sparkle and Empress Mi Amore Cadenza, The Dual Empresses of the Equestrian Empire. I like it! I also like how the magics of the different princesses affected the ponies differently depending on which princess' magic affected who.
Then there's the matter regarding the Ash'ei and his empire of centaurs. I did not expect to see humanity be their slaves. I feel bad for our race. And just like Twilight predicted, Ash'ei is coming back for vengeance. So the Equestrian Empire has a tough road ahead of them. However, if that group of slaves from the human race can make it to Equestria and warn them of what's coming, then perhaps our heroes can better prepare themselves.
I loved this story. It had just the right amount of everything in it. Suspense, action, tragedy, drama, you name it. It was there. I also will be looking into some of your other stories whether it be in relation to this one or not. Thanks for the ride and see ya later!
~ Super-Brony12
Not bad my friend. LIKED AND FAVED!!!
Sweet Merlin!!! This...this was insane, loving it, but insane! Can't wait to get started on the next story, and boy was this one a trip! Well done, hands down on my top 20 of all time FiM fictions!
I was good until you brought in humans, the only way I could even see myself reading any follow-ups is if those humans are from the universe used in EQG. If those are supposed to be humans from our universe(so to speak, or Real World Universe if you prefer) then I'm afraid I will have to just nope right out of those. Sorry, I just don't like H.I.E. stories.
5242946 Well, this is a bit of spoiler, but... the humans are from an alternative universe in human past. Circa 1860 to about 1914. Take from that what you will.
just wanted to say I thoroughly enjoyed the story, and I wish this would be made into a movie like.. it needs a movie, even if only like a 20 minute short film
5287897 That... would be awesome. o,o
Okay, that was a great ending to a great story. I don't know what much to say besides, great job on the dichotomy in the story; I was moved by both love and hate in the same sentences many a time, and it takes some pretty great word-mancy to accomplish that.
Well done! You've certainly earned a watch and this story DEFINITELY deserved a favorite.
Overall, I'd give this story a 7.8 / 10, too much pony.
5321434 Thank you very much! I know there are some things that could be... improved upon, but as my first completed story, I'd like to think I succeeded. ^___^
5360456
Of course. It was truly great for a first finish. I can't write chaptered stories; I get bored and shit. I can't wait to read more when the sequel gets a little longer!
I don't mean to start anything here, but I've been trying to find this story again for a few days now after reading it several months back. I couldn't remember what it was called, I thought it was the infamous Fall of Equestria, but I'm glad I found it again (and that it wasn't FoE)!
I love this story. It's awesome, engaging, and awe inspiring. We see a lot of Twilight badassness as well as Trixie comes back (I love what you did with her, by the way). This is one of those stories that I will be reading again and again. Very satisfying and well written!
I try to keep a low profile, mostly cause I usually don't have anything to say, but the relative silence must be broken.
Holy fuck, you dirty son of a bitch, this is the absolutely worst story I have ever read. The characters are all OOC, Spike is not a massive playboy, and-
Wait, what? This isn't a that one Spike Harem? Oh, well shit.
Apparently, I was mistaken and was typing out that 'review' on the wrong story. Silliness aside, I absolutely loved this story (the first part of it, of course). The way you set up the fall and resurrection on ponykind was just awesome and you do wonders for the genere. It's hard to find stories like this that don't just become a clusterfuck of stupid and, coming from somebody that's been lurking since nearly the start of fimfiction when I could anonymously comment, that is a vastly large bit of praise. While I can't say I'm a fan of having the lovely, lovely mares abused as they were, it perfectly added to the absolute hatred I held for the Caribou nation and Ash'ei or whatever that cunt's name was (I didn't like him enough to memorize it). I adore the cute little moments splattered through there, especially the scene where Dinky reunites with her family, and kinda wish there was a bit more of them, but I'll be honest and admit they wouldn't really super fit with the story too well if done too often.
I can't say the run was perfect, though. As what's his face said above, the story was a bit too fast. Something this all-reaching should have been longer and expanded upon the scenes more. The battle scenes were fine, you never want to pull a battle out too long since real battles rarely last overly long, but the build-ups and down times could have used more 'fluff' to add some more to the... effect? Can't think of a better word off the top of my head, but where there should have been character building of mass proportions, there tended to be fairly little. I understand that a lot of the characters already have personalities all their own, but this is a much, much different scenario and, as such, requires additional characterization to enhance it.
Also, you have a terrible, terrible habit of misusing 'pegasi', where it should be pegasus. A fairly small mistake, but one repeated almost constantly throughout the story. An easy bit to help you get over it: A pegasus is a single winged pony. Pegasi are many winged ponies. You can have a regimen of pegasus corps (a group named after what is in it), and you can also have the pegasi's attacks (the attacks of multiple pegasi not named into a single unit), but you cannot have a pegasi corp. Pegasus should always be used when describing a single pony, or used as a descriptive word to describe a group. Only use pegasi when describing an unaffiliated group of pegasus ponies (see how I used it?). I'll give a few examples as well, just in case, cause I know it can be confusing where plurals are concerned.
The pegasi flew as a squadron into the fray.
The pegasus fell under the might of her enemy's blade.
Everypony stared in awe as the elite pegasus flight, the Wonderbolts, performed their spectacular aerial acrobatic feats.
Nobody understood why the pegasi in the Pegasus Assault Squadron leading the attack suddenly broke off from the main forces.
The lone pegasus trembled in her small hidey-hole as dreams of reuniting with her fellow pegasi filled her unconscious mind.
Hope that helps and I look forward to continuing this albeit a little later so I have something to do at work tonight. roundstable.com/forums/images/smilies/rariwink.png
Well, that happened.
Hope we get some Stug IIIs.
5129351 Humans don't kill stories. Bad writing kills stories.
This was utterly fantastic. I've never found a fic full of so much fuck-shit-uppery, and it was awesome. Short enough to be manageable, interesting the whole way through, and cannons.
Pinkie Pie with Cannons.
'Nuff said.
Keep it up, but I'm sure you've done that already.
*poke* *poke* ... is it dead?
I don’t usually like fight scenes, unless written by select professional authors. You are the first ever fanfic author to write a likable fight scene. Then you did it some more. I thank you for the experience.