Equestria is dead. Using massive weapons of utter destruction, the Caribou have killed all but a handful of ponies, including Princess Twilight. But leaving the Princess of Magic alive was folly. After all, love conquers all. Even death.
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Hum... I will wait to see how everypony changed before I propose any pairing. That way I would see which pairing would be the most interesting.
A Twilestia ou a Twiluna would be an obvious choice , but given the fact that these two most likely won't be freed before the very end , there is no real interest in a romance that last one or two chapter without any building of the relationship ( and sweet drama related to necromancy )
...if a romance bloom between two ressurected ponies , is it necrophilia ?
This guy is going to get a rude awakening.
4759458
Yep!
...they...they did that...to Fluttershy?
THE CARIBOU SHALL BURN, BUT NOT EVEN HELL WILL TAKE THEM NOW! THE STREETS OF THE CARIBOU NATION SHALL RUN RED FROM THE BLOOD OF IT'S INHABITANTS!
*Ahem* Sorry, I temporarily lost it there. I think I'm good now though. Seriously though, I'm enraged at what the Caribou did to the Elements of Harmony and most of Equestria. If I had any part in this war, I would make sure that the Caribou feared pony kind and myself. Lucky for them that I'm not there.
An excellent chapter and I look forward to the next one.
~ Super-Brony12
Good chapter. When is the next one coming?
Hes bucked up so bad that im laughing at his misfortune and the pain he will recieve
I believe 'romance' to be dissonant with the current story line.
Besides: What the fuck is up with Caribou war philosophy! Completely medieval!
I am thoroughly enjoying this so far. Your writing is certainly portraying the characters well, because I'm finding myself feeling right along with them.
Very interested to see where you go with this. Thank you for writing.
Nice.
I hope to see some others that are alive as well as different races that will ally themselves to Twilight.
Honestly, if you can fit romance into this story without it seeming out of place, I will be extremely impressed. That kind of thing is difficult.
That said, seeing as how I'm a sucker for the nerd/jock romance, TwiDash is my personal favorite. Tease me if you wish.
I... Wow... I. You just blew me away. Just picturing the main six and those ponies like that. Bloomin heck. Either way, you delivered that brilliantly. Looking forward to part 4.
4759626
I think it is medeival since it sounds like it's based loosely based of the Mongol Empire with a bit of Norse religion in the mix.
So Dinky can do necromancy too huh? I wonder if Twilight will be okay with that. Looking forward to seeing the Elements revived. Also, I knew those bastard took Celestia and Luna as trophies, I just knew it. I guess Twilight is going to have to melt metal before using necromancy on them huh.
so the crystal empire is still standing?
4759448
Depends on the ressurrection method, if the ponies are technically still dead and only being kept alive by magic, yes.
if they are actually brought back to life and healed, and the magic is just ensuring they stay that way but isn't necessary to keep them alive then it isn't. (at least to my understanding because necrophilia roughly translates to loving of the dead if I remember right.)
Only those who survived in those twenty years should be "changed", so to speak. They have been through a ton of stuff that would break any person. Those that died, however, shouldn't be changed very much. At most they'd be somewhat traumatized by how they died; wake up from nightmares, etc. They should still be themselves.
4759880
It is, but just barely, thanks to Shining Armor and Cadence.
Rarijack
Flutterdash
Twinkie and or Twixie
4759808
Excellent guess! That's what I was going for, along with a heavily influential religious system.
4759448
I agree with Dey since we do not know their mental state yet. But If I had to say now I would do Fluttershy x Discord, Pinkie x Cheese, Rarity x Fancy Pants, Rainbow x Spike [we need more of this], Applejack x ? and Twilight x Flash Sentry.
will not deny the emotion is well executed here, will not deny that. a twisted fate indeed. just have this sense that something would interfere. this is a world where the abstract holds power and influence. few things have both an abstract and physical effect as war and its atrocities.
I'd love some CMC romance preferably Scoots x AB
I am slightly grossed out
Wow congats you made Herobrine grossed out
4759458 FlashLight sounds good to me as well. SoarinDash is also a good one.
4759460 Amen to that!
And I can't wait to see it! Oh, the look on his face when he gets a look at the resurrected Elements of Harmony, led by a pissed-off Twilight Sparkle!!! Delicious; absolutely delicious!
And methinks that the Element-jewels are beginning to glow because they've sensed the imminent return of their rightful Bearers.
Ooooooo, the Caribou are royally, royally screwed now. I bet, by the end of this, they wish that they'd killed Twilight, too. That was their second-biggest mistake. (Invading Equestria being the first.)
Always a fan of AppleDash, TwiMac, and PinkieJoe. Mmmm Doughnut Pie.
hmmm, well i'm a die hard twidash fan, so i'd obviously suggest that. applepie is another that i have no issue with as well. as for the crusaders, i was thinking about having them all being in a polygamous relationship with each other. my thinking is that they had 20 years to learn to trust and get to know each other to an extent that possibly surpassed family, and so i could easily see a complicated polygamous love relationship coming out of that. in fact, it could be one of those complicated relationships where we're all screaming at them to just talk to each other, but they don't because they don't understand what the hell is 'wrong' with them, on account of the fact that they have such feelings for three separate ponies.
passed that, i don't really have any ideas.
I personally think it's a little too soon for any romance sub plots just yet.
That being said my biggest pet peeve is no dating among a close group of friends.
Someone is always going to feel left out, and there is always a bunch of drama
Very rarely does it work out well for all involved.
Plus there are many wonderful pairings that don't involve shipping the mane six together
Twilight X Trixie
Spike X Rarity (Spike can also work well with any of the CMC)
Fluttershy X Big Mac
Those are just a few examples.
The absolute biggest thing to remember is if you do decide to have a romance sub plot do not start putting everyone together.
Focusing on one or two romances during an epic war is doable, but having too many romance sub plots will just be confusing and end up taking away from the main plot of the story.
Plus I personally feel that most of these ponies would not be thinking about romance at this time.
Rainbow would want revenge.
Same goes for Applejack
Pinkie's mind is probably going to be broken.
Rarity will most definitely want payback, but I could see her still entertaining romantic thoughts after a fashion
Fluttershy will also be broken, and I could definitely see her taking comfort in a relationship.
Course Fluttershy can also be so broken she turns into Fluttercruel.
See what I mean though about how none of their thoughts would be about romance given the current situation.
I still feel like the villain is written without a sense of 'why'.
There are hints, the frustration is there, but why did this start?
What started the caribou on this path?
After it was rolling you could probably have what has been placed being sufficient.
But this is honestly an act of malice that has no recourse or reason.
He's a creature of flesh and blood, not discord (are you going to cover what the god of chaos is up too?).
Either way this is my biggest issue.
To a lesser extent you also are moving a bit fast over all and not taking time with the characters, emotions or atmosphere.
Wow.
Those caribou are sooo~ in for it.
Those atrocities they committed, the things they had done to the good ponies of Equestria, the Mane 6 and don´t let me get started on this Grand Marshals habit to cover the defeated leaders of the nations he destroyed in molten metal, having them on display as statues in disgraceful ways on his front lawn.
Go give them hell!
i want to know what happened to Spike and Discord and also will there be a Spike and Discord pairing
4761084 They might explain how all this happened in later chapters
so which version of vampire is scootaloo
None, not pairings, shippings, hidden love-life, looks across the room, first glances, stray thoughts or even or even Stockholm syndrome gone wrong.
It would be so out of left field with this story. The flow of it -as of now- is not fit for any form of a love life, it would be on par with two people finding love in a Bronze bull as they have their flesh burned off. And most of my reasoning has been explained in the comments below.
Tl;dr: It would be like going to watch Saving Private Ryan and it turning out to be a saucy love film..... Or just going to go watch Pacific Rim as it is.
You know, it's interesting to note that your version of the Caribou actually make more sense than the original FoE ones. Here they're just bloodthirsty power hungry barbarian hordes. How the rape, rape, more rape, and oh god so much rape, caribou of the original even managed to exist as a culture, let alone one that managed to conquer Equestria is a giant mystery to me. Yeah, its said that they used trickery or captured Discord or something...but how a post Season 4 Discord couldn't see them being completely evil from miles away is beyond me...
4761084
Basically the same reason as the mongols. There way of life was basically rape and pillage on a mass scale. Hell they made the only way to manhood was to enroll in the army. Because they did not know how to farm it made conquest the only way for them to get profit.
For Example: In 1237 the city of Riazan in Russia was conquered after a siege of five days. Before the citizens were slaughtered (by impaling and flaying), they were forced to watch how the Mongols raped systematically all young women, including nuns.
As some others have said, I don't think romance has much place here unless pulled off very well. That said, I got a slight Sweetie/Scootaloo vibe from the first chapter.
I'm guessing the ponies are going to go full on WWII Russian on the Caribou, da?
It's going to be interesting what happened to Spike and Discord, maybe Discord got Spike and fled to another place/universe away from the Caribou.
There's one thing I want to know, is this Discord a true God or a Embodiment of Chaos? Those terms are different, a embodiment would be far weaker than a God. He is technically a chimera, he has mortal form and even if he has great powers, the Elements of Harmony could "defeat" him (Or imprison him anyway) so it would cost a FAR great power to defeat him without the Elements, but is possible since he has a body.
And in the show he claims to be a god, but he is arrogant so it could be a lie.
(In my headcannon a God could have mortal body, but even if this body is destroyed the god can get into a "spirit form" that is impossible to destroy and create again a mortal vessel to inhabit again, therefore is truly immortal, but a embodiment in mortal form is bound to his mortal form and can be killed. Also in my headcannon Luna and Celestia are Embodiments of Order, thus making them equal in power to Discord, so they used the Elements to boost their powers to imprison Discord since they were equal and could not win or lose)
...
dis gon b gud
4761829
At present there is not even QUITE that in this story though. This is not so much mongols in equestria, this is like the vikings as they were depicted in the animation secret of the kells.
Flattened down into a singular depiction with dress makings of reasons added in to try and shore it up a bit.
Then again I am getting a hint that this is in line with some other general fanon I was not aware of regarding caribou invading equestria, judging from the content of various stories popping up on the featured box, so maybe I'm just directing the mildly perturbed annoyance to the wrong place.
I am going to second the no romance sub-plot sentiment from
4761449 I don't think it needs it and I think it would be better to focus on the friendships and other forms of love instead.
Twilight gets a harem with the rest of the mane six
If you were a Changeling, you would be overfed and bloated to the point of pain by my love for this story.
That the Elements of Harmony are reacting to their bearers returning to life is a positive sign. I don't think they would do that if the five of them are revived psycho. That you described them with such a... defiant and unbreaking attitude, even in death, gives me hope that they remain themselves to some extent and didn't break after what happened. Or maybe their time in the Summer Fields has let their souls heal. Sparkler and Ditzy were certainly joyous that they could return to their sister and daughter once more... perhaps the Elements of Harmony will all rejoice to be together once again. Anyways, I have a positive feeling about their reactions.
But what happened to Spike? Is he in the hooves of the Caribou? If the Caribou took ponies captive to breed with like they did the Deer... do we know any of the ponies in that hell? Speaking of which, does Twilight have plans to counter the Theromagical warheads when the Caribou resort to them again? Even if they can heal, a magic nuke could leave too little left to repair from. She's had two decades to think... although she couldn't perform magic, she could recall the theories well enough. Apart from her development of love necromancy (I love the pun in the title, by the way), has she put together any blueprints for other spells?
I like what you did with Dinky. Yeah, there's something deeply unsettling about resurrecting the dead, and she's understandably concerned about who Twilight is now, but then, with her family... she certainly understood why Twilight did as she did after that. I also like that you had the trio of unliving guards get sick over the sight of the five Elements. It enforces how horrific their tortures were, yes, but it also made them seem more like living ponies, that just happen to still be dead. It makes them ponies instead of monsters (the previous chapters already stated this, but it is good to have that message reinforced, considering the nature of the fic). Incidentally, how to animals react to the unliving ponies? Nature is usually scared of the undead, but they're so different from the typical undead, and a number are earth ponies besides... I hope Twilight's idea about the Elements healing the half-dead back to full life works out... them curing death is unreasonable, but if the pony is already halfway there--considering Dinky's thoughts, I suppose she hasn't shared that part of the plan?
I'm a bit worried about Cadance's reaction to the unliving ponies, though I hope that their descent upon the forces surrounding the Crystal Empire and saving it will help her accept the idea in a positive light (if her love magic doesn't let her instantly recognize the pure nature of love necromancy, that is). I greatly look forwards to that--more than killing the monsters in the village, it would be a major, war-scale battle. How much of their technology will Twilight and her ponies get to use? The Caribou left their stuff behind and didn't try to take the pony's technology, but most of what the ponies would find would be broken.
Also... are Celestia and Luna... still alive? You said they had been covered in molten metal while unconscious, so if their horns were cut off beforehand then the hardened metal would keep from from healing, which explains why they would still be there. *shudders* And here I thought Twilight had it bad... there was one bit of good news in Fjolnir's horrific mental monologue (apart from the bit with the Elements). The Caribou forces had been decimated in the assault on Equestria. Their army must be only a fraction of the size it once was.
... what would Celestia and Luna think of Twilight's goal and her methods? They would have experience with the oft-known animator of the dead one envisions a necromancer as, and so might have the strongest reaction against them... or have one of the most positive, as these ponies are so much different from zombies.
Are the Changelings alive? You mentioned that they were going to show up, but are they dead or have they amongst the Caribou? If they are, they should have more than adequate cause to try to kill them--hm... actually, what would a Changeling's reaction to love necromancy be? As love eaters, that should be... interesting. Will Twilight make an alliance with the Gryphons? Does Twilight intend to keep her forces secret until they pounce onto their lucky Caribou prey, or will she spread word that Equestria rides again? If so... could we see a couple of the scenes of ponies getting that message? The hope there, the knowledge that their princess is alive and well still... that is something I think would be great to see. A bit of raw hope, unblemished by the agony of seeing dead friends before their return. Can Twilight attach holograms to letters?
I would love to see you successfully work romance into this. It won't be easy to pull off, but you're a good author and I have faith in you. I'm personally hoping for a pairing with Twilight and... well, just about any mare, actually (seriously, are there any bad Twilight/mare pairings?).
4759812
That is assuming that they are fortunate enough to be dead in there... Pretty sure it specified that they were still alive on the spikes...
4763760 Yes, but that was during what Twilight saw, my guess is that they killed them later. I think it said you had to destroy their heart to kill an alicorn. I'm only guessing here, it's possible they're still alive, but I doubt it.
I have one pairing that i want to see, Dinky x Twilight, i rarely see it and it actually works due to the apprenticeship between them.(and it doesn't count as foalfiddling due to the 20 years.)
I love your story!
I would like to see a bit more detail with the "waking the dead" scenes though...
You have such beautiful descriptions of their deaths, and I would love to see that shown in the emotions of the newly risen dead.
Confusion, pain, fear, and anger as the undead try to come to terms with what happened to them...and what they must now do..:
I understand wanting to hurry up and get to those grand battles playing out in your imagination.
We all can't wait to get to that part as well, but those battles will be so much better if we can get a clearer picture of all the emotions fueling this war.
Taking the time to write out those details can feel tedious (I know), but it will be worth it in the end.
As far as the romance thing goes...I would hold off on that..
Currently there is really no way to inject romance into this story without it feeling forced.
May be later on in the story it could work, but right now it would just take away from the story rather than add to it.
I would agree with what one of the other comments suggested which is just focusing on the love of friendship, family, and your fellow pony rather than romantic love.
Keep the good work!
4763156
Thank you very much for your interest!
Now, while I won't answer all your questions in order to leave some surprises, I will answer a few!
Celestia and Luna are indeed alive, but in self-induced magical comas. They're unaware of what is going on around them, which also explains why the Sun and Moon are out of alignment.
I do have a big place in mind for the Changelings, who were also decimated by the destruction of Equestria. They will be a mix of living and undead.
Love-raised ponies are not feared by Equestria's magical creatures, as many of them are mutated and distorted by the magical fallout and the sheer amount of death magic released during the massacre of the ponies.
And finally... some nations will accept the ponies, and others will most definitely not. You'll just have to wait and see which.
So, when's the next chapter? 'cuz this truly surprised me. thought it would be that the corpses wouldn't regrow parts or what not, but come to think of it, it is MAGIC. so... yeah! keep it up!
I hope the Caribous are wiped out.
And while I think this fic is a bit on the serious side for romance, it would be nice for something good came out of it. And while it seems Nightmare Moon isn't going to be in this story, I think she would like the new Twilight.