Rainbow Dash is in love with Fluttershy, she has been ever since Fillyhood. When colts start poking fun at her, Dash gets furious, how far will she go to keep her love safe?
Chapters (7)
tallon567
Joined 12th Apr, 2012 ·
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OH GOD THE PICTURE
HNNNNNNG
445764 Whats that supposed to mean? thanks for viewing anyhow...
445769 It's so adorable.
445769 HNNNNGGG is usually a reaction that bronies have to really cute stuff, similar to DAAAWWWWWW
ohhhhh lawl.... Damn 9 watchers alreadyy? jesus Im in for a long night of writing
ALMOST DONE WITH THE NEXT CHAPTER EVERYPONY!
Must. Keep. Refreshing.
445971 I cant believe of the uproar.... this is my first FanFic!
ok this is a good book but seriusly dude you just have to make these chapters longer, try to make them at least 1000 words long each chapter... also i felt it was a bit hard to follow as you didnt say when they jumped forward in time. another thing was that you need to lengthen the plot (giggity) and try to make the story last longer for instance you could have talked about Rainbows journey to her house to save flutters,or about her walk to rarity's none the less this wass a good book
446003 Thanks, as for the chapters, I'm working on that and your plot idea is good, thanks for the tip Chapter 6 is almost finished!
QUICK ANNOUNCMENT EVERYPONY!!!!! soo many people have said MAKE A CLOPFIC DAMMIT! and i'm not sure if anyone will find that affending so i'll ask everyone here.... should I write a clopfic?
Ok, so this will need some work. It's very good for a first fanfic, but there are some things you can improve.
1) more detail. Use the charecters' senses to describe scenes
) of the charecter
2) the story is moving a little too fast, and some of the scenes are too short
3) you could add more charecterization. Before writing, take a little bit to get inside the head (not literally, that would be difficult
Just to clarify this is not bad, it just needs some work. Criticism will help
446025 Agreed, i'm working on that for chapter 6 thanks for the feedback, the views and the constructive critisism!
:D Great Job!
446099 Thanks Broski!
I just submitted mine, waiting in line for the moderators to approve...
445764 I bet this is what you looked like:
img.ponibooru.org/_images/84264407c1f258556b523e893815eea9/46001%20-%20caption%20hnng%20macro%20spike.jpg
446114 baww that sucks
446130 I am second in line!
holy mother of all that is gusta I can't wait xD
446157 almost done...
THE CHAPTERS DONE! FFFIIINALLLYYYY
Wall of text. No page breaks. These things make it visually unappealing.
446263 Hmm, never thought of that....
446143 Still....Waiting....For...Response....I am in second place still!
446272 First place on the queue!
Definitely going to be a favorite and a follow
446281 I am approved
446343 Imma go check out your story
Must read more fucking chapters
HNNNNNNGGGG love that flutterdash shit 
He must make clop like i am
Damn thout that was gona be a dark clop scine
. Sorry if i seem like a podobear but i love stories with alittle clop
More chapters now!
ok i liked this chapter but i couldnt help but feel that dash's anger was a bit OTT but then if someone did that to fluttershy i would give him a much worse hell than a quick stabbing... anyway im getting off topic the chapter could be abit longer but other than that i loved this chapter
Colts enter house.
Colts foalnap Fluttershy (who is strong enough to fight back).
Colts leave with Fluttershy.
All without waking up Rainbow Dash.
Seems legit.
Keep up the good work! Stab them colts!
446494 Yeah, Didnt want to take it that far, but who knows what will happen next chapter *oohh yeahh music plays*
446552 yeah, the chapter lengths are just short, so people will have to deal with that, I tried to magnify Dash's Anger the best I could... guess It wasnt enough
HEY THERE EVERYPONY! I would just like to promote Piematt1337... he's working hard on his Fic right now, stop by and read it! Chapter 7 is in progress, may not be out today though...
446125 Only 0.00000000000000001% close.
446650 Hmm, Your avatar reminds me of another...
Anyways, Good story, needs some work though, as others have been saying Longer chapters, maybe some page breaks, and move the story slower along, it kind of seems as if I'm reading a long summary of a longer story, if that makes sense. Good for a first fic, but there is definitely room for improvement.
447159 I understand what your saying, and with chapter 7 Im trying to improve
446564 :notbad:
Chapter 7 will be the last, but dont worry my friends, a sequal is already in progress!
FINAL CHAPTER IS UP! ENJOY AND THANKS FOR READING!
Fluttershy x Rainbow Dash FTW
Anyway good story
I really like the..........picture?
I messed up....Chapters up now!
446541 The final chapter is finished if you havent read it yet!
except should be accept