One day, Rainbow Dash finds the book about mare which is called Solar Flare ... On the same day, Soarin decides to confess love to Rainbow.. All CMC and Pinkie don´t know anything about them...But Scootaloo knows....And hunting Rainbow Dash and Soarin starts...
How it will end?
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Please, please get an editor. There are many on this site who would be glad to help you. If not that have someone preread your story.
Reasons; spelling errors, missing words, grammar errors, and so forth,
not dissing your efforts just the execution.
Good luck
>mfw this actually has upvotes despite having an error in the title
its good I like it
4564951
Thank you
It's okay just super rushed. You did something that could have been an easy ten chapters and just smushed it into one. Try to get a co-writer or prereader some one to look over it, if it's your first story I get it, over time it'll hopefully mold into a better story. For now work fixing it up, you have to fix the title it makes little sense.
This is awesome!
4573537
Oh...reallyyyyyyy thaaaaaanksssss
4574396
Oookaaaaaaaaaaaaaay
4574516
Noooowwwww iiii neeeeeeddddd ssssuuupppoooorrrrtttt.....
Caaaaannnnn wwwweeeee stooooppp?
4574529
Do you like melons?
4574568
Like watermelon? (i mean fruit)
As a fellow Soarindash writer i feel inclined to give a critique:
Sometimes people are too quick to downvote or berate. While the story suffers from errors and feels a bit stuffed to the brim, there WERE good things to highlight:
Plus side -
You have an idea that's caught my attention
You know how you want your characters to act
It's important to acknowledge things an author has done well, no matter what the story as a whole it like. It's hard to keep writing if no one ever compliments you.
For your benefit though, i will also point out what needs improvement.
Minus side -
I'm not going to call it rushed, that word is thrown out too often by people who may not actually know how long it took to write something
However the story IS pressed together very roughly. Someone else here put it well, you have enough here to span multiple chapter's but you put it all in one.
You've got the dialogue all in there, but you lack any description of surroundings, plot, or anything to give the reader a sense of what their supposed to be seeing in their head as they read.
That's just off the top of my head there are many grammatical and spelling errors, but i don't judge an author based on that
I gave the story an upvote because of the idea you have going forward. I don't care that it was a bit of a minefield trying to figure it out, it caught my interest and THAT'S the most important thing an author needs to do.
There is a lot of room for improvement, and as others have said, i suggest getting an editor or seeking other advice for writing (I would be happy to provide a couple pointers if you wished
)
Everyone has a story to tell. That is the most important thing about writing. It may be hard to get started, but as long as you keep at it, you will improve. There are no steps backward, only steps forward
4574578
...
Your OC is a pegasus.
I'm find this story interesting. That said you should really have someone proofread for you, I was finding so many grammatical errors that it almost took me out of the story. I'm not one of those people that usually harps on someone for bad grammar, but consistent grammatical errors that could have been easily fixed is a bit of pet peeve of mine.
Here change the title to
Good I say I just hope Soarin didn't have a one night stand with her or pinkie gonna take his wings.
4661258
No....This will be loooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooong love
Yeah new chapter iike this I really hope soar in doesn't have any STD's
What a coincidence I'm righting and my OC is called solar flare
I like it I feel it's a bit.............out there
It has lots of room fore improvement
but I believe that this story has lots of potential
And by the way, make it longer, and correct the grammar.
UPDATE UPDATE UPDATE PLS
Add more please!