Sister

by Eyvind

Chapter 1

It was early evening in Canterlot as Celestia emerged to lay the Sun to rest. She stood on the highest balcony of the tallest tower in the castle, her wings flared as she gathered her magic. Behind her, just inside the tower, her younger sister watched. Luna had witnessed this ritual a million times before, but it still filled her with a sense of pride. Celestia's horn glowed in the faint light as she gently lowered the celestial body.

As the final rays of light left the land in shadow, Luna stepped forward, ready to perform her duty. The glow faded from Celestia's horn as she folded her wings back to her side, stepping back to give her younger sister room. Luna flared her wings and began to gather her magic, just as Celestia had done.

It was usually at this point that Celestia left, leaving Luna to complete her task in solitude, but she made no move to leave this time. Luna felt her sister's eyes on her as she tried to concentrate on gathering her magic.

“What?” She said without turning.

“What? Oh, nothing. I'm sorry.”

Luna merely raised an eyebrow before turning her attention back on raising the Moon. She had gathered enough energy by that point. She could feel the power surging in her chest, looking for a release. She obliged, directing the energy towards the moon below the horizon in the distance. She felt her horn begin to gather heat as magic poured out of it, lifting the moon into its position in the sky.

When it was in place, Luna released her spell with a sigh. Her magic wasn't as strong as Celestia's.

She turned to see her sister was still sitting there, looking at her with sad eyes.

“What is it, sister?” Luna asked with a worried frown. “Are you feeling ill?”

“Hmm? No, no I'm fine.”

Luna wasn't convinced. “Come, I will walk you to your chambers. You must be feeling tired.”

Celestia nodded weakly. "Yes... that must be it."

The two of them descended the tower together, Luna making sure to stay a couple steps ahead in case she need to catch her sister.

They walked slowly through the empty corridors of the castle, taking their time as they listened to the steady clop, clop, clop of their hooves upon the marble. It seemed to be the only sound in the world right then.

They eventually reached the massive doors that lead to Celestia's chambers, two royal guards standing still as statues in front of them. They parted silently when the princesses approached, allowing them entrance. Luna took it upon herself to open the door with her magic, still keeping close to her sister as they walked inside.

Celestia crawled up onto her mattress slowly, kicking off her golden shoes and jewelry in a very un-princess-like way. Luna smiled as she magically pulled the covers over her, her eyes already closed as she began to snore tiny little snores.

"Goodnight, sister," Luna said softly before turning towards the door.

"Luna..."

Sbe stopped moving as Celestia mumbled her name. She paused there for a while, waiting to see if Celestia would say anymore, but it seemed she was well and truly asleep this time.

Luna sighed, continuing towards the exit. She left the room, shutting the doors quietly behind her.

"Don't let anypony wake her," she told the guards. "If there is anything urgent, have it brought to me instead. Understand?"

Both stallions nodded a single time to show they had heard her.

With Celestia's slumber secured, Luna made her way back through the castle and towards the tower to keep her nightly vigil.

~ ~ ~

It was the dead of night when Luna heard the door to the tower open behind her. She turned, expecting it to be a guard bringing her a report, or perhaps the cook bringing her a late-night snack. Instead, she was surprised to find Celestia standing in the doorway. She looked smaller without wearing all of her regalia.

"Sister! I thought you had gone to bed!"

"I had," she conceded, "though my dreams woke me."

That made Luna curious. She had never walked in her sister's dreams before, mostly out of respect for her privacy. To hear that it was her dreams that prevented her from sleeping was, well... unheard of. The thought of Celestia tossing and turning in her sleep was just plain odd.

"What troubles you?" Luna asked gently. "Perhaps I may help."

Celestia sighed as she walked out onto the balcony to join her. "I feel..." she began, only stop a moment later. Luna waited patiently for her to continue. "...sad," she finished quietly.

Luna asked the obvious question. "Why?"

"I..." She hesitated once more, looking away from Luna and out over the city. "I'm not sure."

Celestia was not prone to lies, which made it very easy for Luna to tell when she told them. Celestia knew exactly what was bothering her, but she didn't feel like sharing it with her sister. Luna understood the desire to hide one's feelings, probably better than anypony, but that didn't take the sting away from her words.

Luna followed Celestia's gaze, a small frown appearing on her lips. "I see..."

They stood like that for a while, just watching the land slumber peacefully, both waiting for the other to break the spell. Luna was confident Celestia would lose their little standoff. Patience was the one thing she had mastered during her banishment.

"Luna?"

Luna smiled slightly, happy that she had something she could always beat Celestia at. "Yes, sister?"

"Do you hate me?" she asked quietly.

Luna whirled to face Celestia in shock. "What?! Of course not! What would make you think that?"

Celestia didn't take her eyes off the horizon, moisture causing them to shimmer in the faint moonlight. "I wouldn't blame you, Luna. I've hated myself for so many years..."

"Sister, I--"

"I banished you, Luna!" Celestia interrupted as she finally looked her in the eyes, her anger towards herself painted across her features. "You, the only family I've ever known! I ignored you when you needed my help. I let you turn into that--that monster... How could you not hate me?"

Luna didn't know what to say to that. What could she say to that? Instead of saying anything, Luna acted as her instincts told her to. She rushed forward and embraced her sister, wings and all, attempting to convey all the love she felt for her in that one action. She squeezed her hooves tightly around her barrel, hugging her tight.

"I love you, Tia," she said softly. "Nothing will ever change that."

Luna felt Celestia shake slightly as she shed silent tears. She eventually returned the hug, drawing her in closer with a gentle hoof.

"You know what will make you feel better?" Luna asked after Celestia's crying had calmed down. "Some strawberry ice cream. I know it's your favorite."

Celestia chuckled weakly. "That sounds good."

"Come," Luna said, leading her towards the tower door for the second time that night. "The staff have probably gone to bed by now, leaving the larder defenseless. They will not know what has hit them."

"You always knew the perfect time to sneak in there" Celestia commented with a smirk.

Luna stuck her tongue out at her. "I learned from the best."

Comments

[Kritziebomelu]

thought about entering one of the Celestia or Luna collabs? this sort of short and sweet fluff is excactly what you can read there

[Eyvind]

4537948 Never heard of these collabs. How might I find them?

[IsabellaAmoreSirenix]

Simple and heartfelt. I like it.

[Eyvind]

4537981 Aw shucks that's kind of you to say

[Kritziebomelu]

4537969 These are my favorites

http://www.fimfiction.net/story/133111/sun-and-the-stars-a-twilestia-prompt-collab

http://www.fimfiction.net/story/130153/dark-paradise-the-twiluna-group-collab

But I just found them by chance and never bothered to search for more. I belive there could be a group for such collabs here on fimfiction, but as I said: I never searched for them.

[Eyvind]

4538007 Much appreciated, I shall take a look

[Nightheart]

short and sweet.
as per usual in my comments to you. bravo. upvoted and faved.

[Eyvind]

4538462 Wow, thank you for the ego boost

[NobleValor]

Very touching. Very touching indeed.

[Eyvind]

4580481 I'm happy you liked it

[nightwalker]

A nice, simple take on this idea. I liked. Have an upvote.

moister causing them to shimmer

It's moisture that you want there, not moister.

[Eyvind]

5057381 Thanks for the catch and the upvote. It's hard to grammar sometimes.

[Titanium Dragon]

Editing notes:

1) Capitalization: the Sun and the Moon are both proper nouns, and should be capitalized.

2) Pronouns:

It was usually at this point that Celestia left, leaving Luna to complete her task in solitude, but she made no move to leave this time. She felt her sister's eyes on her as she tried to concentrate on gathering her magic.

While this isn't too confusing, it is generally best to avoid referring to two characters in a row using the same pronoun (he or she) without re-naming them. Here, we have "she" in the third part of the first sentence refer to Celestia, and then have "she" in the next sentence refer to Luna. While it is obvious from the context which pony it is, it would still be better to use "Luna" at the start of the second sentence.

3) Telling:

“What? Oh, nothing. I'm sorry.” It sounded as though she hadn't realized she'd been staring.

The italicized portion is something we should be able to pick up from the dialogue here; we don't really need to be told that she didn't realize it, because the dialogue seems to imply it. If you must have her use some body language here, have her shake her head or do something similar.

I'll have the "real" review up by tomorrow. Don't worry, I'll read Of Cellos as well. Note that all of these editing bugs are fairly minor, they didn't bother me too much, just were little niggling things.

[Eyvind]

5429513 Thank you for taking the time to help me. I really appreciate it.

[Titanium Dragon]

I wrote a review of this story here.

[Eyvind]

5431267 Thank you for the constructive criticism, it was a very fair review. It will definitely help me strengthen my writing.

[MixMassBasher]

Wish the dialogue could be more. The story kind of felt cut short in the middle.

But the story was okay.