Part one
“But, Twilight!” Rainbow Dash heard somepony shout below her cloud-bed.
She rubbed her eyes and moaned, still half asleep from her mid-afternoon nap.
“I’m sorry, Flash,” she heard Twilight say, “but I don’t think this is going to work out.”
“Oh come on, Twi, just because I think reading is dumb…” A door slammed shut, followed by a loud cry of pain. Recognizing the voices. Rainbow decided to peak out of her cloud to see what was going on below.
Sure enough, the poor stallion by the name of Flash Sentry, just had Princess Twilight Sparkle break up with him. Now, he was rubbing his noise in the nasty aftermath.
Rainbow Dash chuckled and stretched out on her cloud. She wasn’t that surprised that those two hadn’t worked out. After they, bumped into each other, they somehow thought that it was true love at first sight. Eventually, they went out on their first date, spent a month in their—honeymoon phase—and it all went downhill from there.
Personally, Rainbow had seen it coming from day one. She could tell from looking at Flash Sentry. A first impression of him told her that they wouldn’t work out. She could tell that Flash was much more into loud sounding music in contrast to Twilight’s preference in classical, hated the same food she liked, and disliked anything and everything to do with sports and exercise. Which in-it of itself wouldn’t have been that bad, if he didn’t hate reading.
At first, Twilight had tried to make it work, Rainbow had even tried to help. The poor filly had tried every book, even Daring Do, only to have the same result again and again. Two months later, the result of said relationship had just played out below her. Not that she cared that a fine looking stallion like him couldn’t get Twilight, but it was still troubled her as she couldn’t take her eyes off of him.
From her cloud, she watched as he began to ascend into the sky, unknowingly towards her.
A part of her told her just to let him fly by. It wasn't her problem, and it didn't feel right. However, another part of her, the part she wanted to listen too, told her to make sure he was alright. She would talk to Twilight later, but Flash was closer right now.
“Hey, Flash,” she called out to him.
“Oh,” he answered with his head held down, “hey, Rainbow, how’s it going?”
“I’m fine, but I couldn’t help but overhear yours and Twilight’s—little breakup.” Flash began to fly off. “Hey wait! I’m trying to be supportive,” she flew off and pulled over another cloud. “Why don’t you talk it out with me?”
He cocked his head. “You sure?”
“Yeah, what are friends for?”
“We’re friends?” He asked as he landed on the cloud next to her. He patted his hooves on the cloud, making it nice and comfortable before he settled down.
“I guess. I mean, any friends of Twilight’s is a friend of mine.”
“Then why are you talking to me?”
She chuckled. “Oh, don’t worry about that. I mean, it’s not like she cared that much about you as a colt-friend to begin with.”
He snorted. “Thanks a lot.”
“Oh, wait! I… I didn’t mean it like that.” Her faced turned a beat red. “Darn, why can’t I ever say the right things?”
“Its fine,” he said as he ruffled his feathers, “I know the feeling. Although, to be honest, I was worried that I was the one who was going to have to break up with Twilight. I guess this spare her the broken heart.”
Rainbow raised an eyebrow. “Really? I thought you were both madly in love.”
“I guess that’s what I get for believing in love at first sight.” He began to beat at the cloud to make it more comfortable. “Still, I guess I can’t love anyone who’s not a fan of the Cloudsdale hoofball team. Or any hoofball team for that matter.”
Rainbow titled her head. “You’re a Cloudsdale flyer fan? I thought you were from the crystal empire?”
“I am,” he said with a nod, “but I was from Cloudsdale before I join the guard. Besides, even if I didn’t, who wouldn’t root for Payten Hoofing?”
“Oh I know. I’ve tried to show Twilight the light…”
Flash caught on to her momentary break. “Hey, it’s fine. But you want to know what else was driving me crazy about her? Her taste in music. I mean, no disrespect to a princess, but I just can’t stand any of those classical concerts she dragged me to.”
Rainbow Dash blew a strand of hair out of her head. “Tell me about it. I mean, who would pay just to listen to a cellist play the same thing for over two hours.”
“What symphony did you go to? The one’s Twilight drags me too are over four hours long.”
“Oh, you poor soul.” Rainbow said as she lifted up a hoof towards him. “I mean, I tried to get her into some rock, but that mare wouldn’t take it.”
“I know. I mean, even someone like Rock Daddy is too much for her.”
Rainbow Dash eyes widened. “You like Rock Daddy?”
“Oh yeah. Most of my friends thinks his music is too soft. Personally, I think he makes up for it with his bass.”
“Eh,” rainbow Dash scratched her head and turned bright red, “I don’t know what that means, but I think I like him for the same reasons you do.”
Flash laughed. “Don’t worry about it.” His cloud moved in closer to hers. “I mean, not a lot of ponies know about the intricate details that goes into rock music.”
“Yeah,” her wings began to flutter, “I mean, can’t those eggheads see rap as nothing more than a new form of poetry?”
“Well, the good kind anyways. I do hate that stuff that uses fouler langue.”
“Same here,” she smiled.
Over the next hour they became lost in each others company, talking about this and that, forgetting about anything that didn't involve the pony sitting on the adjacent cloud. As they spoke, Rainbow could feel a heat raising up inside of her. She couldn't name it, or she didn't want to admit what she thought it was. Either way, she just pushed her feelings aside as she tried enjoy her time as friends. That's all they were, even if she couldn't stop her eyes from staring at his rear every now and them.
Without realizing it, their clouds, and heads, bumped into each other.
“Sorry,” Flash said as his head pulled back.
“No, you’re fine. I just…” She was cute off as she looked up at him, taking in his musk as she realized that he was sweating.
He looked fine from a distance, but up close, he made her heart beat faster. He must have felt the same way, because his face glowed a bright read, his head came closer, or maybe it was her own. Either way, she felt their muzzles inch closer and...
Eyes widened, she pushed herself away from twilight’s ex. “Whoa!”
“Yikes! Oh, Rainbow Dash, I’m so sorry.”
“No, no. I should be the one who’s sorry.” She hide her face beneath her hooves. “I mean, what are we doing? I’m supposed to be the element of loyalty and I just kissed my best friend’s ex!”
Flash placed a hoof to his head. “I am such an idiot. No wonder Twilight hates me.”
“Hey,” Rainbow placed a hoof on his, “she doesn’t hate you. She just doesn’t like-like you.” As her face turned red again, she pulled her hoof off of his.
They remained silent for some time, their free hooves either scratched their heads or kicked their clouds.
Finally, Flash spoke. “We don’t have to go out you know. We can just, start off as friends, and take it slow.”
Rainbow nodded with her eyes closed. “Yeah, I guess we can start out that way. But, we aren't going any further until I ask Twilight if it’s okay. If not, we never speak about it again. Is that understood?”
Flash nodded his head. “Oh yes. The last thing I would want to do is because a friendship-rip between you bears.”
“So it’s agreed. We’ll just be friends for, a week or two?”
“Might be safer to make it three.”
“Right, and then I’ll ask Twilight if it’s okay. Or, I’ll figure out a way to make to word it right in our three week, friendship. After that, we’ll go from there.” She held up her hoof. “Deal?”
Flash didn’t hesitate to hoof-bump her. “Deal.” She sat quietly, awkwardly, on their cloud for several more minutes.
“So— you want to race to the park, friend?”
“Only if you promise not to hold my hoof when I win.”
Rainbow blew air through her nostrils. “You mean, as long as you don’t kiss me when I win, friend.” He winked at her. The both laughed and raced off to the park.
*****
Meanwhile, down on the ground, an alicorn princess watched the whole scene. After they had gone, she let out her first honest smile all week.
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4426070 oh, and I fixed this story up if you want to try again.
First, it's cute.
The usual grammar and spelling mistakes a lot of authors make apply.words that are spelled correct but not the word you meant to use.
Tenses (I have this problem too) need synchronizing.
Technical issues aside, I'd love to read more chapters.
4443666 I've been told that before. Do you think you have time to point a few examples out in this story, and maybe another?
4444492
Hi :) ok some quick notes I've made:
She scratched her eyes and moaned herself awake from her mid-afternoon nap.
*-- you probbaly don't mean moaned, and ow... scratching with a hoof to the eye?, perhaps "...rubbed her eyes and moaned, still half asleep..."
...the poor buck by the name...
- odd as it sounds, buck is not used for equines. the term is colt or stallion. colt usually meaning young male. Buck is used for males in the deer family, like moose "der is a tirty point buck"
...She chuckled and stretched...
I have this same problem. You want to always start a paragraph with the NAME of who SHE is unless SHE has already been established in the last paragraph. In the previous paragraph SHE was twilight sparkle even though it's clear you mean RD
She could tell from looking at Flash Sentry at a first impression that they wouldn’t work out.
break this up into two sentences? over use of "at" in one sentence (I'm guilty of this occasionally too)
... Sentry . Her ...
The poor lass...
probably want to use mare or filly considering the char is equine.
...even the Daring Do
this would probably read easier if you just had "...even daring do." Daring Do is the title/name, you don't need to but "the", that's like saying "the google" or "the face book"
For the next hour, they got lost in dialogue.
this sentence doesn't flow well. perhaps something like "over the next hour they became lost in each other's company, talking about this and that..." ?
again, overall your story is readable, but the technicals like the above hold it back.
4444982 Don't you *holds, in that last line? Anyway, thanks for the help. Don't suppose you'd be up to be one of my pre-readers? exchange for my service with your stories? I might not be the best at tense as you've seen, but I'm good at picking small things when I proof my friend stories.
4445076
because there is a plural (technicals which i know isnt a real word), it's hold. (really short answer to that)
Um.. I guess I could. I'm on the last 5 chapters and I suppose I could use a break between edits and writing. another pair of eyes never hurts either.
I like this... and I mean really like this, please continue
A FlashDash fic! I've been searching!
I have seen this coming! I have!
Flashdash
I love it please continue
Blast! Someone actually made this ship before me. Oh well, might still use it (for laughs). An I'll check on this story later, btw.
Soooo...any plans for updates?
Please go on with this story! I love Flashdash it's my OTP!!!!
I don't apose any Flash (Flashlight or Flashdash) but I wish the show actually addresses the matter of romance beyound the Equestria Girls movies and shorts... There is great potential, if only Hasbro would use it
Bro, do you English???
7470809 nope, I'm part Italian and Hispanic ^^
THAT WAS AWESOME! IVE BEEN LOOKING FOR FLASHDASH FICS FOR SOOOOO LONG! And a question.... When will you make part 2? I'm so hype!
7715810 maybe. Haven't gotten a lot of demand and now there's Flash and sunlight again
7715822 oh.... But anyways... Keep up the good work! I hope there's gonna be a part 2 soon!
7733217 maybe, though, if I may, why don't you make such a story?
7733685 good idea...the thing is that I'm not really good at making fanfics... I'm learning from other fanfic makers so I can make one..
7734341 hey, neither was I (or still am really...) but that's the beauty of fan fiction, and mainly fimfiction:
If there's a story you want to read but it doesn't exsit; make it yourself. And with our like system, it makes you want to give it the best that you can
7735528 thanks! I'm actually planning to do one since you said
7735650 let me know how that goes
7738777 I will! Thanks! ^_^
I feel like people didn’t even give him a chance at all.
if he had been treated alright then the next time he’d appear we’d get more insight to his character but because people pratically attacked him on sight he never had a chance to develop in the series. so if anyone wants to blame Flash for his “blandness” they should blame themselves first.
i hope my message reaches someone with sense.