Reality
"Blueblood..." Celestia nudged him again. "Blueblood, please wake up," said Celestia. After he'd burst into the room, Blueblood just collapsed in a heap. This was the third time this month.
"I was never trained as a medic, but, um, are you sure his heart hasn't stopped?" Shining stopped Celestia from poking Blueblood a third time. While Shining didn't necessarily like Blueblood, he didn't like casualties either. It didn't help that Twilight had caught Blueblood staring at her rump a few times, and had told Shining about it.
A blue aura surrounded Blueblood. "He is fine. He just requires rest." Luna would know this, considering she helped invent a few of the triage spells in common use today. The aura would have turned red if their were anything seriously wrong with him, and yellow if he had a moderate injury.
------------------------------
One guise-impression, two stories, and one dream-surf later....
------------------------------
"What's wrong with him?" Blueblood was curled into a ball, whimpering and shaking in his sleep.
"He is fearful about what he will awaken to," said Luna, who'd spent the last eight minutes watching Blueblood's dream. She gently put a hoof on his shoulder, and he stopped his shaking.
"Why? What would he have to fear here, of all places? A mad Mane-stylist that only does mullets?" Cadance snickered. "Ruining his hooficure?" she asked playfully. The things she knew the rather vain Blueblood was afraid of were numerous: dirt, debris, running out of mane-care products, his gym membership being revoked; really, the list itself could be a small chapter on its own. Shining, Cadance, and Celestia laughed raucously. Luna however, was silent, face as grim as can be.
"In his dream, we treated him cruelly, laughing at his cries. We had even pulled a prank on him: Captain Armor sat in the guise I used on him, with you and I on either side of him, while Tia sat in the closet, watching through a keyhole. I believe that was the Captain's guise-impression of you. In the dream, we toyed with him, then proceeded to laugh at him." Luna paused. "He also incorporated the stories told to Captain Armor about our daughters into his nightmare." Luna felt like she was forgetting something. "Oh, and after that, Tia and I proceeded to rip into him, then Prince Armor stripped him of his title, then his bow-tie. And from the looks of it, dream!Cadance would have kicked him in a place stallions ought not be kicked, had I not intervened." The other three stood there, mouths agape.
Blueblood then awoke. "He never touched my bow-tie," he said angrily. "But what that mare said was true, wasn't it?" He hung limply at the side of the bed, looking on the verge of tears. He barely lifted his head. Blueblood was not a pony who often inspired sympathy, but at that moment, everypony in the room felt bad for him.
"I'm sorry you learned about it this way, Blue," Celestia said, her eyes were downcast. Shining, however, was staring daggers at him. 'That mare's name is Twilight Sparkle' he wanted to say. "When Twilight said she wanted to tell you, I'd thought she'd meant it in jest. Apparently I was wrong." Celestia placed him on a cushion in front of her, and sighed.
"Your ancestors, some 900 years back, presented themselves as descendants of Luna. Considering I was half-in-the-barrel from grief for the first century of her banishment, it was easy to 'pull a fast one' on me. Which also explains some of the odd decrees from the early days." The tax breaks implemented for heavy metal bands during the 680's came to mind, as did the declaration stating Royalty had the right to commission a battle-golem league, as well as be a contestant. Celestia's Heavy-Handed Highlander had gotten fairly far along before it was pounded to pieces in the last round of the tournament.
As for Blueblood, he hung his head in sorrow. "I feel sick," he said.
"Hmph," said Luna, crossing her forelegs. "Had I been here, this would not have happened. Accursed Nightmare spirits." Luna pulled Blueblood over to her. "I do not hate you, Blueblood. Surely you know this. You are as much the victim of this lie as I, maybe even more so. To not even tell the younger generations about this charade..." Luna made a face showing intense disgust. Her face regained its gentle look. She embraced Blueblood in a hug. "If you feel the need to cry, just, ah, 'let it out'." Blueblood reciprocated the hug, and cried into her shoulder.
------------------------------------
Thirty minutes later....
------------------------------------
Blueblood let go, and wiped his eyes, which were now red-rimmed, his flawlessly-styled mane a shambles. Luna, meanwhile, looked not so much like a Princess as an equine snot-rag. She poked her head out from between the double doors, and asked of the guards, "Would one of you would be so kind as to bring me a damp washcloth?" Both guards left posthaste, not wanting an explanation as to why Luna had requested such an item; or why she was covered in what they presumed to be tears and mucus.
"What ever happened to the mare who'd followed me around at the Gala? She wasn't injured, was she?" Blueblood asked out of nowhere. One of his hooves drew circles on the floor as he waited for a response.
"Oh, you mean Rarity!" Celestia put her hoof to her forehead. It had finally dawned on her what he'd meant. "She is perfectly fine, Blue. She was cleaning cake from her mane for the next week or two, but other than that, she's fine," Celestia said. "In truth, she'd told me that her plans at the Gala were to get you to try and 'woo' her, and (provided that worked out) eventually take you as her husband." Celestia's voice grew slightly quieter. "You however, played the part of Prince Charmless, and inverted all of the usual chivalry tropes, when you could have politely said no. However, both of you got your just desserts." She started to laugh, but Blueblood scurried under the bed upon hearing that phrase.
"Not again!" he'd screamed from his hiding place. Eventually, the whole bed frame started shaking. Meanwhile, the washcloth Luna had requested had arrived, along with an extra bucket of water. She headed into the attached bathroom, cleaning supplies in tow.
"Lulu, why did he just do that?" Celestia asked confusedly. Unlike her sister, she could not enter the dreams of her subjects. Unassisted, at least. She had tagged along with Luna to enter one of their chef's dreams a few weeks back, but let's just say neither party can look at each other in the eye ever again...
"You had used that exact phrase just before you had started ripping into him, Tia. Starting with 'You're actually quite lucky it was a cake you'd shielded against'. Then it degenerated into threats against him if he hurt another of our subjects. He also had dream!Me suggest that the staff, as well as some of the guards, were afraid of him. Specifically, what he would do if they angered him, or told anypony about what went on out of our eyesight." She exited the bathroom, clean as can be, then whispered into Celestia's ear. The whispering went on for a full five minutes.
"Oh my." Celestia held a hoof to her mouth, eyes wide with shock. She looked slightly green. "Blue, your imagination frightens me." She lurched forward a bit, head bowing a few inches. Shining rushed over to comfort her. "The story Luna has told me, is any of this true?"
Blueblood nodded. "The part about threatening to throw anypony who displeased me from the balconies is true." Blueblood braced himself for Celestia to smack him, closing his eyes. The tension was killing him. He opened an eye, and asked, "Aren't you going to do something?"
"I'm waiting for you to explain your actions. Then, we will decide what to do," she told him. Celestia's gaze made Blueblood shiver.He winced as he gathered the energy. It took all his strength for what he was about to do.
"One time, when I was drunk off my rump on scrumpy, I thought it a good idea to angrily dangle a subpar window-washer from the second-story balcony. When I came to my senses, I apologized profusely. But by then, word of the event had spread throughout the whole of the staff. Even to the ponies who worked at the palace. They never told you, either for fear of retaliation from me, or that you'd never believe them and subsequently fire them for slandering my name." He threw himself before his former aunt. "Have mercy." He did not know how Celestia would react, but he feared it would be like his dream, if not worse. He shut his eyes tightly, grabbing onto one of her legs. He hoped for a swift disintegration. She, instead, spoke up.
"Blue, I do not know what to feel. On one hoof, you have such greatness locked inside you. On the other, however, your drunken decision could have gravely injured somepony. Or worse." She turned to Luna. "Lulu, what do you think we should do?"
"I do not know, Tia. He appears remorseful for his past actions," Luna said. She put her hoof to her chin in thought. "We will put him in the dungeon, considering he has just admitted to having committed a crime. We should also consider signing him up for therapy, considering his actions have obviously scarred him."
"Okay." She turned to face Blueblood, whom she'd shaken off of her hoof. With a heavy heart, she said, "Blue, you'll receive at least 2 years in the dungeon for dangling that window washer off of the balcony, which qualifies as an assault charge. And you'll definitely be meeting with a psychologist to prove you pose no threat to anypony after that, along with about 2 years of community service. However, we might bring you a book every once in a while, provided you haven't caused any trouble. Hopefully, we'll have figured out what to do with you by the end of your stay."
"Thank you," He said. He sighed with relief. He'd thought this would go very differently.
Celestia sighed, then clapped her hooves together. "Now, I know this is an inopportune time, but do you want us to tell the world about your ancestry?"
"Tell them. I see no good for any of us if your name is still attached to my family," he said with remarkable awareness, considering his past. He paused. "Can I still call you 'Auntie', though?"
"Of course, dear." Blue and Celestia hugged.
-------------------------
The next day, in the castle dungeon...
-------------------------
Two guards flanked Blueblood, who had brought himself down to the dungeon. "Ah, Blueblood. 'Bout time. Throw 'im in the holdin' tank till we find an open cell." The holding tank was surprisingly roomy (a whole 144 square feet!). 5 minutes later, the warden came back. "Ho-kay. You'll be in cell 5, you disgusting piece of filth," Lieutenant Iron Bar said in a conversational manner. In truth, there were only 20 cells. And 15 of those had remained empty for the past 225.5 years. The others, of course, were used for the occasional high-profile case: dishonest lawyers, false advertisers, or mad scientists. "Sorry about calling you that, it's part of the job. I'm told I'm quite nice when I'm off duty."
"Thank you, Ma'am," Blueblood said to his rather scruffy, but jovial warden.
"Ah, yer just lucky the Captain put in a few good words fer ya," Iron said. "He don't do that, unless they're good ponies at heart." She pointed to her own heart to illustrate. "Oh, by the way, yer 'Aunt' dropped off a book fer ya." The title was: Princess Luna and the Metal Behemoth. Its description blurb purported it to be a comedy.
"Thank you." With book in tow, he stepped quietly into Cell 5. The orichalcum gate clanked shut behind him. 'Let's get comfy. The first session won't be until next Friday.' He sat on the wooden bench, with its old, musty cot, and cracked open his book. He immediately regretted it. He dug a spring out of his back, and decided the floor was more comfortable. They really need to replace those mattresses more often. A century is too long. He'd bring it up tomorrow.
Blueblood put down the book, and hatched a plan to regain his princely status. 'Now. If I were to try to attract Auntie's granddaughter... No. Wait. That could never work; she's the one who tipped me off to the lie. Obviously she dislikes me, at the least. Odds are she has other grandfoals, not to mention nieces and nephews...." He figured he'd have to wait till after his sentence.
------------------------
The same morning, at Sweet Apple Acres...
------------------------
"Hey AB," Applejack said as she passed Apple Bloom's room. She descended the stairs of the familial dwelling. "Mornin' Granny," She half-said, half-yawned to the still sleeping Apple Family matriarch; who had long ago earned the right to sleep until noon. Then she walked out to the kitchen. Her brother Mac and his fiance were sitting at the table. "Mornin' Mac, Cara." Mac had taken the liberty of pouring Applejack a cup of coffee, then putting the paper next to it. She brought the coffee to her lips, as she read the paper. She did a spit-take in Mac's face. "Princess Twilight Sparkle?!?! What in the High Hay?"
"Thanks fer that, Sis," Mac deadpanned as Caramel rolled on the floor, laughing his rump off. Mac then squeezed the coffee out of his mane, and flipped it about like a commercial for hair care products. "Y'know how long it takes fer me ta get this ta sit out of mah eyes? Not long, really, but it's the principle." She put the paper in front of him. His jaw dropped, eyes wide open. "What. In. High. Hay."
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poor mack that coffee had to be hot hope he wasnt burnt to bad
4671397
glad someone got the reference
4671482
Good thing AJ takes her coffee with a little bit of ice, huh?
4672467 OH MY GOD YOU READ STAND BACK I JUST BEEN GROOMED XD!!!!!!
OH my god I Love you now Circuit Chaser XD you just Referenced Acetone... from my story "Stand Back you just been Groomed."
"Why? What would he have to fear here, of all places? A mad Mane-stylist that only does mullets?" Cadance snickered.
4679895
Actually, That was just random thought processes. Any reference to that fic are coincidental.
I'll be sure to read it though.
4680001
Dude mad manestylist.. giving blueblood a mullet. XD
Does the last part hint at some possible bluejack happening in the future?
Also its always refreshing to see the relationship between prince blueblood and his aunt as positive. Him wanting to still call her auntie was adorable.
4683168
No, But he does find someone to love him.
4684686 My avatar's dreams have been crushed once more! Nah just kidding.......kinda. Still good to know.
4684879
Sorry, but It just doesn't work in the context of the story.
However, four years later, he attracts the eye of a certain griffon while working as an ambassador...
4684956 That's okay really but on the griffin note
please say the griffin is at least one the ones from the Equestria games or Gustav from MMMstory express.
Lie to me.
4685034
The Equestria games competitors: Grizelda, Hawkthorne, and Nightshade all fought over who got to ask him out. Grizelda won, with nary a scratch.
4685164 Sound great! I look forward to it.
Ooooh, I'm an idiot. I thought the first story was supposed to be what Twilight did when Pinkie and the Apple Family went off to Golden Delicious' house, and was thus already an Alicorn. Am I stupid for needing to think for several minutes as to why Applejack was surprised that Twilight was a Princess?