Relatives, Reactions, and One Irate Prince

by CircuitChaser

Relatives, Reactions

Princess Celestia sat up as she heard the knock at her door. She nudged her sleeping sister. "Wake up Lulu, we have company," she whispered.

The Princess of the Moon rose slowly from her nap, and stretched. "So he is the other?" Popping noises were heard as her wings reached full extension. She quickly ran a hoof through her ethereal mane.

"Yes," replied Celestia. "Come in," she called to the couple outside her door. The door creaked open, and they stepped inside.

"Auntie Celestia, is there something wrong?" asked Cadance. Fearing the worst, she asked, "Has something happened to Twilight?"

"Twilight Sparkle is well, Princess Cadance," said Luna. "In fact, she has helped us with a quandary Tia and I have had for the past thousand years." As Luna said that, Celestia brought out the scroll Twilight had come in with a few weeks ago, and gave it to Cadance.

"Shiny's family tree?" Cadance asked, staring at it in befuddlement. Waving it around for effect, she asked, "What does this have to do with Twilight?"

"Twilight came in with this scroll at the suggestion of her friend Pinkie Pie," Celestia replied. "She was looking for her ancestors who had came before Stone Wall and Flower Power, and Pinkie figured that I might have known them." At this, she smiled warmly, lost in memories from long past.

"Needless to say, she found them," Luna said, taking up the slack in the conversation. "They were our foals," she said in an offhand manner.

Shining Armor's and Cadance's jaws almost hit the floor at that revelation. They both looked at each other, and managed a "WHAT?!", before they fainted and faceplanted, one in fear, another in bliss.

Celestia admonished her sister. "Lulu, I thought we agreed that we would tell them gently."

"My apologies. In my excitement, I forgot." As she said that, a wry smile spread across her face.

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A while later...
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'An hour. Why is it always an hour for this family to awaken from such a shock? Why never fifteen minutes?' Luna thought to herself. She noticed a few minute movements under Celestia's bedspread. "Sister, they awaken," Luna said just a little too loudly.

"Shh. You'll scare them," Celestia said, gently admonishing her sister. Luna still had yet to master speaking without the Royal Canterlot Voice.

"What happened?" asked Shining Armor. He looked at his wife, who was starting to stir. "Honey, I had the strangest dream," he said to her as he sat up. "The Princesses said Twily and I were related to them through their foals, who, for some reason, hadn't been listed on the family's tree."

"Shiny, I think that actually happened." Cadance groggily pointed to the cushions in one corner of the room, upon which the Princesses of the Sun and Moon sat. The couple looked at each other, then immediately scrambled to get out of the bed, but they just ended up tying themselves up in each other's limbs. The Princesses then stepped in to untangle them, which took all of five minutes when they found the right limb to pull.

"Princess Cadance is correct, Captain," Luna said to the now untangled couple. Then, without warning, she brought them into a hug much like the one Twilight had experienced three weeks prior. Eventually, she let them out of her death-grip of a hug, and settled back onto her seat.

"If you want, we could tell you the stories we told to Twilight a while back", Celestia said, the reassuring smile on her alabaster face calming the young couple. She and Luna then settled onto their cushions, motioning for the two to take a seat near them. Eventually, the couple's muscles complied with the orders their brains had given them, and sat down opposite the Royal Sisters.

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Two stories, and 15 minutes of staring in disbelief later...
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"Do either of you have any questions?" Celestia asked after concluding the stories.

"Yeah. Uh, how'd either of you have foals without stallions in the mix?" asked Shining Armor. Unlike his sister, he didn't do well outside of his magical niche.

"Let us answer your question with one of our own. Tell me, Captain Armor, have you ever heard of the Amniomorphic Spell?" asked Luna, hoof raised for effect. You could take the evil spirit out of her, but not the theatrical way she did things.

"Yeah, Twily had said something about it being some dead unicorn's most famous spell." He did not remember how that conversation had went due to him falling asleep halfway through her three-hour-long lecture on Starswirl the Bearded. Although, when he'd awoken, he'd found an F stamped on his forehead in red ink.

"What my sister is trying to say is that Starswirl the Bearded had found a way for an egg and any source of pony genetic material could be combined, and it would produce a viable offspring, once implanted," She repeated almost exactly as she'd heard it from Twilight. She then silently thanked the universe for her very good memory.

"Honey, could you please translate that for me?" asked Shining, looking to his wife for some help. He was a geek, not a genetic biologist.

"What she's saying is that a long-dead unicorn created a spell that could help a couple to have a foal of their own." Luckily for Cadance, it fell within the purview of her title as the Alicorn of Love. Having a nebulous title had its perks.

"Then why isn't it common knowledge?" he asked. "Wouldn't those effects make it a fairly commonly used spell?" He was confused about why he hadn't more about this spell.

"There were a few 'bugs', for want of a better term, when the spell came to be," replied Celestia. "These included a higher chance of stillbirth, or negative mutations, some diseases, even problems having foals of their own. We had this spell suppressed until these bugs had been stamped out, which has only recently happened." Celestia motioned to Luna, then to herself as she said this. "The spell in its current state is now undergoing testing. We will then determine if it is safe for public use."

"Ah. Okay, next question: Do either of us have to worry about suddenly sprouting wings? Because I have trouble fitting through narrow doors as it is" -Shining motioned towards his wide shoulders- "and Twily would hate the added attention. Besides, Cady tells me its a hassle having to fix those wings every week."

"Hey. I like those shoulders of yours. They make you look strong, and tough. Ready to throw the next stallion who looks at me funny right out the door." Cadance really should stop reading so many romance novels. Its starting to affect her brain. "Besides, if you did sprout wings, I could always help you 'preen'," she said as she sidled up to him. Eeyup, definitely needs to find a new genre to read.

"I can honestly say it is a possibility, given the spell we used was intended for use on normal ponies, as opposed to us. There have also been a few documented cases of ponies sprouting new appendages over the years, mostly earth ponies growing semi-functional wings or horns," said Celestia. Shining's smile faltered. He then asked a very odd question.

"Next-to-last question: Should I worry about, uh, turning into a mare if that happens?" he asked sheepishly.

"Begging your pardon?" Luna wanted to be sure she'd heard him correctly. She made a point of cleaning out an ear with her hoof. Somehow she ended up holding a huge ball of fluff, then tossed it aside.

Shining Armor really regretted asking that question, but he knew the Princesses would continue to ask until he repeated it. He gathered all of his courage. "Do I need to worry about turning into a mare if I somehow sprout wings?" At this, Luna fell to the ground, laughing. Cadance soon followed suit. Celestia held out for as long as she could (a whole forty-five seconds!), screwing up her eyes in the process, but to no avail. The entire room resounded with the laughter of the three mares, as Shining's face silently radiated enough heat to melt the great Northern Ice Fields from sheer embarassment, saying, "It's not that funny."

Eventually things calmed down. "No, Shining Armor. I don't think so," came Celestia's response, dopey grin still on her face. Her face returned to it's calm stoicism. "In all seriousness, where did you get that idea?" she asked, eyebrow quirked upwards.

"Sorry, ma'am," he said, his face still as pink as Cadance's. "Some of the other guards, well, they tell some pretty crazy stories. Things like how you're secretly in love with Twily; or how Princess Luna treats an abacus like her foal; or that Cady is seeing somepony else on the side, possibly even my sister (ick, by the way); or that the reason all of the princesses are alicorns is because only mares can be alicorns." Shining suddenly squeaked in fear as Celestia walked over to him. She stooped down, pulled him over, and drew him into a hug.

"Those guards have wild imaginations. You are not going to turn into a mare, nor will you 'sprout wings'," she said in the same voice she used to comfort Twilight when she'd had a bad dream.

After Celestia had let go of him, a POOF was heard, a plume of smoke, and a Celestia with Shining's mark and coloration appeared in his place. "Shiny, is that you?" asked Cadance.

"Well who else would it be?" He clapped both hooves over his mouth, unsure of the sounds that had come out of it. He got up to look in a mirror. If he wasn't stark white before, he was now. "Get 'em off me! GET 'EM OFF ME! GET THESE WINGS OFF OF ME-HEE-HEEE!" screamed Shining with Celestia's voice, as he ran helter skelter.

Then the doors opened with a thunderous crash. "Princess Celestia, are you alright?" Asked the guards who'd been stationed outside the doors. They then saw who really had caused the commotion. "Captain? Ma'am, Is that Captain Armor? What happened to him? And if I may ask, why does he look like you?" Then, Shining Armor, Captain of the Royal Guard, dove under the bed like a scared little filly, as he started to cry 'why does this always happen to me?'.

"Luna decided it was a good idea to pull a prank upon our mutual grandson, and she overdid it. By quite a bit I should say." The guards left, snickering at what they'd just heard. She heard them mutter about how 'the rest of the company's gonna flip'. Celestia put a hoof to her face in exasperation, thinking, 'I knew teaching her that spell would lead to trouble.' She sighed and said, "Luna, the idea of this session was to welcome him to the family. Not traumatize him. Or make his subordinates laugh at him."

"My apologies dearest sister, but that prank was set up perfectly!" She then stuck her head under the bed. "I wish to apologize, Captain Armor, I should not have gone so far. Especially to one so new to our family." A second POOF, and the illusory guise vanished.

He crawled out, wiping away a tear. "Okay. Now the last question: Are either of us related to Blueblood? Because that would be seriously disturbing." He cringed as he waited for this bit of news to crash on him.

"As fair Twilight Sparkle has asked before, Captain, no. You are not related to that buffoon 'Prince' Blueblood at all," said Luna, somehow making the air-quotes gesture. "Tia tells me his family fabricated the charts proving their relation to her some 900 years ago, and the rest of the lineage has believed the lie."

"No, I think Twilight dispelled that belief a few days ago," said a grinning Celestia.

"Auntie Celestia!" cried a by-now-familiar blond unicorn stallion.

"Oh, not today! Twilight, I thought you were joking when you said you wanted to tell him!" Celestia cursed her grand-daughter's sense of timing.

Blueblood opened the door, and stepped in. "A most rude mare has been telling lies about you!"

Author's Note:

Commentary: I originally had it so that Cadance got tied up in the sheets and Shining Armor hanging from the ceiling by his horn. I'd also intended for Luna to make the second most powerful set of puppy-dog eyes in the world, and her description to read:"Luna had yet to master speaking without using the Royal caps-lock." Also, I would have added some more explanations, but I couldn't get them to flow right.

Note: In this 'verse, the Changelings never attacked, nor did they steal Cadance. Because of this, Cadance was that much closer to Shining, and she got him to loosen up a little bit. The Royal Guard has been (literally) singing her praises once a month ever since.

Seriously. They gather on the steps of the palace. White robes and everything.

Comments

[PetuTheViewer]

Hilarious. Honestly it's good as it is though the image Shining Armor hanging from the roof by his horn is an amusing one.

[michaelb958]

Hanging from the ceiling by his horn? Depending on your preferred headcanon on horn sensitivity, that could be ...seriously painful. But funny too.

[Fallen Knight]

Hah thank you for reminding me of an old comedy story about luna learning about modern equestria, and having a "pet/companion" abacus.