When a human in Equestria attempts suicide, the ponies who shunned him are forced to care for him in Ponyville Hospital.
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It appears we have come full circle.
Awwwww. You changed it!
Oh well. Hopefully this can still turn out ok, but judging by the ending of that chapter, I doubt it. Sad face.
Superior quality. Much praise.
rewrite , cool .
Well, that works too.
There's the hate I missed
Revision? This is better and more in charecter.
Let me guess. People were too butthurt over the first version?
Anyway, this also fits the situation. It shows that Jason wants fuck-all to do with ponies even if they're being "friendly" (and I don't mean that in the frisky way, I mean as in only doing it out of a desire to soothe their own guilt). Twilight has it coming if she thinks her hearfelt regret means shit to someone as fucked up as Jason...
OH MY GOD SO MUCH BETTER! No offense, but that last chapter was like a clip from "Equestria Girls" inserted into "The Dark Knight." This fits. Not that the other chapter was bad, it was just so jarringly different in tone. I might like to see that in some sort of side story, but not here.
Alright people, step down from DEFCON 2. Lower the hatches again. Tell the kids the ride isn't cancelled after all. Crisis averted.
Ok then. This also just happened.... I had to actually go back to the last chapter to make sure that the whole scene from before wasn't in our.... (Do I say protagonist since he is a madman on the decline?)
AntagonistHeroProtagonistThis poor souls imagination.It's official... Jason's lost it.
This is much better. Thank you.
Well, this works too, but it honestly bothers me that you let those narrow minded dicks dictate your story. YOU are writing it. you shouldn't try to please everyone, and you should't change your story just because someone is upset about something.
Sexuality is an integral part of the human psyche, and therefore, the pony psyche as well. I in no way think that the earlier scene was "for the sake of clop". It should be very obvious to everyone who cared to look that it was the culmination of a lot of different issues. This story isn't any more about sex than "Diary of a Madman" or "Xenophilia" is.
5257329 He lost it long ago, I think. This is just him finally realizing it.
Darn a little sad you changed it but either way works wright whatever makes you happy
5257381 Ponies Don't Gag is a separate story now.
....so, are we doing the whole "september" thing again? A whole bunch of updates at once, then a short hiatus?
I have a question about the past of Jason Wright, has some skills allows him to live outside of Equestria
for example if the guy was an engineer or teacher of some kind could have some decent future, especially if going to a country that does not have magic users
5257384 And that one gets a thumbs up if only for the pic you chose.
Apparently there was another version of this chapter I missed? Is there any way you could post it again, or maybe PM the original to me? I'd like to see what's different.
5257446 Abandon all hope, ye who enter here
I am a little upset that he's given up his approach on the "Ponies Don't Gag" chapter and attempt on the fragile state of the mind, but this works out just fine as well. Keep up the good work mate.
5257336 I guess most people were just worried where it was going to go...
Some one walking in on them... And or him being accused of rape... or worse of all... he forgives them (shocked gasp)
He still didn't skull fuck her!
5257448
I saw that there was an update and then boom... The chapter was gone... I was actually kind of heart broken that you removed it. Not because it was clop, but rather because I felt that it only further showed his state of being and how far he had fallen.
... Really? You got rid of the other chapter because some idiots don't know how emotions and the fucking mind works? And now as a result you no longer have the PERFECT drama plotpoint. For fuck's sake you gods damned retarded short-sighted site.
i dont get it....
5257336
No it's not! Don't you know that sex is evil?! If you have sex, you're going to hell! If you even say the word sex, you have damned your soul! Wait... I said sex! Oh God, I said it again! AAAAHHHHH!!!!!!!!
Well, fuck it. I'm going to hell now, anyway. Who wants an orgy?
Fucking prudes gotta ruin a good story
5257469 I personally thought the previous version just didn't fit well into the story. Is insulting a bunch of random people on the internet really the best thing you can do with your time?
5257525 Well if the guy had a spine and hated them back with all the fury of the Hulk then this story would probably be better. I'm talking about the idiot OC of the story of course.
5257384 where can I find the separate story? (Assuming that there is one)
This works a lot better, I think.
Whenever I read about Jason, I'm always reminded of Ikari Shinji:
minesblog.com/anime/files/2010/11/shinji054.jpg
5257547 here
As critical as I am of this story, it's good to see an author decide against smutting up their story. Many stories could be greatly improved by chopping their sex scenes.
5257542 Except he doesn't hate Pinkie. All she ever did was not help. Even then, it wasn't entirely her fault. Her Pinkie Sense tells her when something bad is going to happen, but doesn't give details. All she knew was that something bad was going to happen every time something that her friend, that she trusts, said was dangerous came to town. Once again, Twilight is the one to blame, no one else.
Vlad I just want to say I'll be with this story to the end, no matter how you get there, and no matter what's in it. It's a good story, and you're a good author. That being said, I am sorry you were put in the position you were put in with this chapter.
Personally I prefer this version, but a part of me is honestly interested in where that other path would have led.
I want to read the story that you want to tell, if other people want to abandon it because of one thing, then fuck them, I'll be here till the end. I trust in your writing skills Vlad.
Ok can you a split story of this with clop t kewp both parties happy please
5257557 I did read that earlier, I just hoped the story would continue there... (Hoping that it'd e a sequel for or something)
5257448
Ever thought of looking through It Never Really Ends, finding those parts that could have been, but weren't clop, and writing the as clop? Kind of like the Dash of Humanity Sexy Bits
Good that you removed it. Pinkie Pie's attempt at makeup sex for years of avoidance has been hindered.
5257579 The story has both the Mature and Sex tag, so sex scenes is to be expected.
Personally I just dislike the fact that it was desperate petty sex, and that Pinkie Pie thought she could somehow fix her mistakes with a blowjob.
i am wondering if tirek will appear on this story, after all 3 years have passed since twilicorn happened and the golden oaks treebrary is still around
JUST LOSE IT "HAHAHAHAHAHAAAAAA!!!"
Sadly the
blazeember of hope for jayjay is no longer...Poor bastard. If you do something that people don't like they bitch about it. If you fix it, they bitch even more. At this point, I think you should just choose the version you like better.
Yay scary cloak
I just wanna give Jason a chainsaw sooooo badly, but I suppose sending Rainbow to the hospital works too. Looking forward to more.
This story would be perfect if it weren't for the gaping plot-holes in the beginning with Jason being in Ponyville for three years, and it never occurred to him to move to the next town... When you start getting into a long story like this, logic seems to catch up on you, even if it's not your fault. I love the ending to this chapter. I can just hear my own laughter echoing through the night in this one.
Personally thought the older version was better. The desperation was interesting to read.