We are rewriting this from the beginning. Please watch user: DuskShadowBrony for an update.
DustStorm. Gold Rush. Grey Ghost. Dead Ink. Flutter Glitter. Luster Star. They were humans once, like you and I, but something happened. Something Big. Now their 5 friends get sucked into a world they could only dream about . This is their tale. The archive of thier new lives in Equestria. This is, the Foalish Zone.
This project is a group collaboration between a couple people in the padded ponies/adult foals group, the 'Palringo Padded Ponies'.
Care to join us for some roleplay or chat? http://www.palringo.com/en/us/ If you need the PC version, ask Monopony, he has the files you need. Join the room: ppaf
Monopony, Monopony, Zubric, Hottemaxx, DGGames, and Shagohad, Luster Star.
Not all chapters are sequential or storyline, and this story does take place in an alternate timeline of Super Stallion's Foal-a-verse, which DGGames is a writer for.
RATING INFORMATION: This story is rated teen for mild swearing, and occasional crazies. you have been warned.
IMPORTANT: This story is as stated previously a ppaf collaboration. If you dislike regression, diapers, and/or foalish behavior, TURN BACK NOW!!
Otherwise welcome to a place, where time has no meaning, where space is convoluted, and where foals are everywhere and nowhere.
WELCOME TO THE FOALISH ZONE!!
Yes... All my yes.
I bet Discord's behind your "transformation".
4274187 You'll have to wait until chapter 7 to find out.
4274312 Let me guess, chapters 2-6 involve the other "foals" arriving.
4274361 Pretty much yeah
4274365
Seems like something you'd know about yourself
.
Bit clonky in places but decent enough to follow.
Hmm it's in the univers I created hmm will there be foals.
4276742 very much so super stallion, very much so... remember that... sort of sequel/side story you and i were chatting about? this is my creation!
4277291 all in due time... the field is a field for a special location.... and my answer to all of your questions:
i.qkme.me/35hpfj.jpg
all in due time
UPDATE: I added a couple things to the cover art, and it is now finished:
imgur.com/ClTs8Hf.png
yo and behold, i think it turned out pretty good
4277710
Okay I see, good luck with that and more chapters now.
4277961 im waiting until all of our chapters are done... and seeing as we are waiting on luster before we can post the next chapter/..... yeah
4281179 there are 6 of us... As shown by the cover art... Made by yours truly (obviously) and yes... If anyone wonders I will do free coverarts until the end of may. I can't draw by hand, so if that is needed, I can ask a couple drawing artists that are good friends of mine. I'm a graphic designer, NOT a graphic artist. One involves design, and layout of objects, one involves designing new objects. Tomorrow I'm hoping to post two of our chapters. And don't worry... This story is a RAY of sunlight in a dull world. (Zubric... You know what I'm talking about)
Guys, I'm not dead ^.^
I've just been incredibly busy with my real life, my job, and a secret project I'm working on! (Secret project won't be released in a LONG time, don't blame me, I'm just a worker there :P)
But yup, I wrote my part for the collab! I'll admit it was a bit rushed, so it may not have been my best work. ~DustStorm
What a troll Discord is.
4283970 dont worry... Discord is nowheres near done with us... He keeps saying something about the foalish zone, and a mansion, and regression..... Not really sure what it means but its starting to scare me a bit
4287953 dont worry..... no one is regressed.....
yet
hehehehe
4287953
First of all, thank you very much for your feedback. Secondly, I'll admit this chapter was very rushed, and nowhere near my usual/best quality.
Hhmmm. So...not just a story with characters going to an alternate universe. Delightful.
But, with Dust Storm, I have a few issues.
Okay.
One, it's not stated how many years it has been since the first time he met Luna.
He's age 18 now, it's been about 12 years. Forgot to clarify.
Secondly, where's his regression scene, then?
Not yet implemented.
Thirdly, a pony six years of age managed to fight all these Timberwolves alone? And, an alicorn's just several feet away?! I'm sorry, but if a little one such as Dust can defeat those wolves, then what does Luna have to fear...at all?! Alicorns have access to m-u-c-h more powerful spells than a common Unicorn, so a Blaze spell should be super easy to do for Luna. In fact, she probably could use a serious spell involving fire to scorch those wolves before they even got a jump on the guards and herself!
You don't get it. His special talent is combat magic, which is why he was easily able to dispatch them. And she's a cautious battler, she wouldn't just blast magic everywhere like Dust did. Dust is a completely reckless battler, which is why he threw himself on top of the enemies, unlike the wary movements of the Lunar Guards and Luna herself.
Also...Dust was a punching bag? To his whole family? Look, the phrase, 'whatever doesn't kill you, makes you stronger', isn't gonna work here. Keep in mind, this is a very young pony. For two adult ponies to beat him up, would either kill him or leave him with severe injuries. So, he would probably not be able to even stand up from the pain of his broken bones. And, most certainly, couldn't survive in the Everfree forest for very long. OR, fight off several creatures in the night!
I've based his story off of my own. He was heavily abused by his family, so he fled at a very young age. He had to learn to become strong to survive in the Everfree Forest. He eventually healed from the physical injuries caued by his family. And he, like me, did get broken bones, but as nopony was there to support him, he had to learn to deal with injuries like that himself. He taught himself field medicine. (although, irl, I did have a doctor treat me)
Also, why send guards and Luna to defend this position? It's apparent that Ponyville's problems usually are solved by the Mane Six, so why send in the troops when they obviously aren't needed? Or useful, truthfully. Luna and those guards were horrid protectors of Ponyville! They were almost killed in seconds!!!
This isn't a story about the Mane6. If we followed the canon TV show to a pinpoint, then there would be no point of fanfictions. And again, I don't think you read. They were not sent to hold the position, they were sent to scout the location. It was just bad luck that they were attacked. And if somepony attacks you off-guard, I'd like to see you not get hurt at all. The point was- the unit wasn't prepared for the strength or speed of the Timberwolves.
And, if the Mane Six are to be involved in this story at the same age they are, then it can't be many years since that event with the Timberwolves for Dust Storm. Maybe one or two, but not anymore. Dust was six when Luna first encountered him. So, if he is now eighteen or above, the Mane Six would be twelve or around that many years older. Logically then, it's been a really short time or a really long time since thà t fight was fought against the Timberwolves.
I don't know about this part.... I don't know how the story will go, I just wrote this part off.
4293392
You're right; I don't get it. Never was it stated that magic was divided into categories, so how was I to know somepony could work on just one magic type?
No idea, nothing's really canon about magic types
Anyways, if he does know combat magic, who taught him? Was it from his parents? Because that seems like sorta a stretch when you think about it. They beat him up often by the sound of it, so why would they care enough to teach him magic?
Again, it was self-taught, just like how I taught myself to fight with blades IRL. Because nopony was there for me, I had to grow strong on my own.
And, if Luna is a cautious combatant, then it should also be written in. How was I to know Luna fights that way? And, what does it matter if she battles with more thought than action? This is a intensely close life-and-death situation, so she will most likely try to kill the wolves as they lunge at her out of instinct.
I'm not entirely sure how to answer this, poor writing on my part.
I'm very sorry that happened to you. I hope they got (or, will get) what they deserve.
They weren't prepared? But...a six year old was? So, if we put Luna and Dust in an arena, Dust would come out victorious? I mean, wouldn't it make sense?
He was watching them from a distance, and decided to jump in. Dust would probably lose in a battle against Luna, the only reason why he was able to win was because he caught the wolves off-guard.
Dust took out all those wolves within seconds. Had he not been there, Luna would've been killed because she couldn't hoofle that many enemies at once. But, Dust could. So...then a six year old Unicorn is much more lethal than a fully grown Alicorn. Damn. I wonder how much more powerful he's become since then. Probably could destroy entire towns or cities, I'm guessing.
See above.
4309543
I haven't had the time to do writing, I'm juggling my job, personal problems, and finals. But I promise to improve my writing and push out good chapters like I used to with the current two stories I am working on.
You're honestly one of my favorite critics on FimFiction, you've helped me improve a lot of my writing, and you know how to say it so it's clear, yet still polite and kind.
4309745
I'll send you the links when I get back to writing. Don't know when that will be.
4309604 much much better than that darkentrophy asshole
4316035 is it odd that I havent even read lusters chapter yet?
EDIT: HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAH.. meh
4316053
Indeed
4316587 as soon as flutters and zubric send me thier chapters i can upload mine... its complete
4316616
Then... You shall rule Fimfiction
4316701 yes... that will be the day
4316704
And I shall quietly sit on the side, having wacky adventures with my Ponysona Incognito
4316035 Worst, Monday, Ever.
4317387
I believe that beat my worst monday
4317387 4317450
It's worse than Tuesday.
4317548
Nothing important usually happens till friday
4317565 Monday is the best day ever. Want to know why?
Without Monday: we would have no Hump Day
Without Monday: we would have only 313 days in a year on estimation
Without Monday: no other day would be correct, Tuesday would become the new Monday.
Without Monday: we wouldn't have a good day to throw shit at people.
Monday takes all the shit we give it, and just absorbs it, like a boss. Do you know why? Because Monday is amazing, even if its not up front.
4317387 jokideo.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/11/530699_462135620506115_1636142277_n.jpg
4321079 that i can answer: luster remembers his name, but hes saying it is useless to him at this point
and we each have out own personalities that will be revealed in due time... until revealed think of us as DISCORDS personal Elements of Disharmony
4320056
Mein gott
Monday is a boss
4321657
Cue dramatic squirrel
4321717 drama squirrel, hahahahahaa
but yeah... no one ever notices mondays
4321720
And no one give a darn about Tuesday
4321736 tuesday is a good day
4321747
My Tuesdays are only good because I get to nap for about five hours
This chapter is a bit short. Flutter is an amazing role player, but seems to be the most SHY of us at writing. also due to the face that she lives in Germany, i had to edit. so any grammatical errors are on my part really.
4327557 A German foal huh? Interesting.
4327593 not really... in real life jan is from germany... but he speaks english completely
I know you talk with my charname but when you talk bout rl lets keep the facts right. Im male irl not female, despite the name.
It's Made Out Of Cookies
4331510 she's not a fluttershy... The way her hair is done reminds discord of fluttershy. Flutter glitter is fluttershys offspring in fact.... In non TFZ canon, when we roleplay flutterglitter is offspring of fluttershy and glitterfang. So flutter glitter is not a fluttershy, but more of an anti-fluttershy....
Stupid discord and disharmony
About the name.... She's gonna be called flutter glitter.