• Member Since 14th Feb, 2014
  • offline last seen Nov 22nd, 2017

DuskShadowBrony


I'm a writer specializing in Age Regression stories, mental and physical. I am a MLP babyfur. There is nothing sexual about it for me. Please get to know me well before judging me or my OC.

T

We are rewriting this from the beginning. Please watch user: DuskShadowBrony for an update.

DustStorm. Gold Rush. Grey Ghost. Dead Ink. Flutter Glitter. Luster Star. They were humans once, like you and I, but something happened. Something Big. Now their 5 friends get sucked into a world they could only dream about . This is their tale. The archive of thier new lives in Equestria. This is, the Foalish Zone.

This project is a group collaboration between a couple people in the padded ponies/adult foals group, the 'Palringo Padded Ponies'.

Care to join us for some roleplay or chat? http://www.palringo.com/en/us/ If you need the PC version, ask Monopony, he has the files you need. Join the room: ppaf

Monopony, Monopony, Zubric, Hottemaxx, DGGames, and Shagohad, Luster Star.

Not all chapters are sequential or storyline, and this story does take place in an alternate timeline of Super Stallion's Foal-a-verse, which DGGames is a writer for.

RATING INFORMATION: This story is rated teen for mild swearing, and occasional crazies. you have been warned.

IMPORTANT: This story is as stated previously a ppaf collaboration. If you dislike regression, diapers, and/or foalish behavior, TURN BACK NOW!!

Otherwise welcome to a place, where time has no meaning, where space is convoluted, and where foals are everywhere and nowhere.

WELCOME TO THE FOALISH ZONE!!

Chapters (8)
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Comments ( 124 )

I bet Discord's behind your "transformation". :trixieshiftleft:

4274187 You'll have to wait until chapter 7 to find out.

4274312 Let me guess, chapters 2-6 involve the other "foals" arriving.

I’ve always been told my eyes change color depending on what color shirt I wear, I have no idea how true that is but I’ve taken pride in it.

Seems like something you'd know about yourself :trixieshiftleft:.

Bit clonky in places but decent enough to follow.:twilightsmile:

Hmm it's in the univers I created hmm will there be foals.:pinkiehappy:

First, you should get rid of the overused, cringe-worthy sentences at the very beginning. They are...not something that should be used. Please. They gave me a bad first impression of the story. Just turn the second paragraph, the one with the info of the main character, into the first. It'll work better, ya know?:pinkiehappy:

Look, if the main character's studying to be some guy who digs up fossils for a living, why would he think something that's just jutting out from UNDER A BENCH TO BE A FOSSIL?! If he had common sense, he would probably think it's some animal's dead bone or something more possible.

And...this guy's eyes change every time he puts on a shirt? What happens when he's not wearing a shirt, then? What happens when he's wearing a rainbow-colored shirt?

A much more important question is why did that get included?! What purpose does making his eyes go chameleon whenever he swaps upper clothing have anything to do with this plot? It doesn't even get explained afterward, even though it's pretty damn big of a deal if your EYES ARE CAPABLE OF DOING SOMETHING LIKE THAT! That part should be cut out.

...So...will his friend's disappearance hold some signifigance later on or what?

And, the whole waking-up-in-a-field-scene has been brought out very often in stories. And, this is Discord who brought him here. Discord should be using much more odd locations than a simple FIELD.

But, I really do like how the story's going. I'll defintely favorite and like the story.

4276742 very much so super stallion, very much so... remember that... sort of sequel/side story you and i were chatting about? this is my creation!

4277291 all in due time... the field is a field for a special location.... and my answer to all of your questions:

i.qkme.me/35hpfj.jpg

all in due time

UPDATE: I added a couple things to the cover art, and it is now finished:

imgur.com/ClTs8Hf.png

yo and behold, i think it turned out pretty good

4277710

Okay I see, good luck with that and more chapters now.:flutterrage:

4277961 im waiting until all of our chapters are done... and seeing as we are waiting on luster before we can post the next chapter/..... yeah

4277717
Look, Mr.Chaos, I demand answers! I will not be silenced! Also, how many ponies ya got workin' on this?

And, I hope generic age regression scenes will be kept to a minimum or none at all. It seems like this story could be really unique...but I'll wait and see. Just...don't do many things that have been seen in other age regression fiction a dozen times over, alright?

4281179 there are 6 of us... As shown by the cover art... Made by yours truly (obviously) and yes... If anyone wonders I will do free coverarts until the end of may. I can't draw by hand, so if that is needed, I can ask a couple drawing artists that are good friends of mine. I'm a graphic designer, NOT a graphic artist. One involves design, and layout of objects, one involves designing new objects. Tomorrow I'm hoping to post two of our chapters. And don't worry... This story is a RAY of sunlight in a dull world. (Zubric... You know what I'm talking about)

Guys, I'm not dead ^.^
I've just been incredibly busy with my real life, my job, and a secret project I'm working on! (Secret project won't be released in a LONG time, don't blame me, I'm just a worker there :P)

But yup, I wrote my part for the collab! I'll admit it was a bit rushed, so it may not have been my best work. ~DustStorm

What a troll Discord is. :rainbowlaugh:

4283970 dont worry... Discord is nowheres near done with us... He keeps saying something about the foalish zone, and a mansion, and regression..... Not really sure what it means but its starting to scare me a bit

Hhmmm. So...not just a story with characters going to an alternate universe. Delightful.

But, with Dust Storm, I have a few issues.

One, it's not stated how many years it has been since the first time he met Luna.

Secondly, where's his regression scene, then?

Thirdly, a pony six years of age managed to fight all these Timberwolves alone? And, an alicorn's just several feet away?! I'm sorry, but if a little one such as Dust can defeat those wolves, then what does Luna have to fear...at all?! Alicorns have access to m-u-c-h more powerful spells than a common Unicorn, so a Blaze spell should be super easy to do for Luna. In fact, she probably could use a serious spell involving fire to scorch those wolves before they even got a jump on the guards and herself!

Also...Dust was a punching bag? To his whole family? Look, the phrase, 'whatever doesn't kill you, makes you stronger', isn't gonna work here. Keep in mind, this is a very young pony. For two adult ponies to beat him up, would either kill him or leave him with severe injuries. So, he would probably not be able to even stand up from the pain of his broken bones. And, most certainly, couldn't survive in the Everfree forest for very long. OR, fight off several creatures in the night!

Also, why send guards and Luna to defend this position? It's apparent that Ponyville's problems usually are solved by the Mane Six, so why send in the troops when they obviously aren't needed? Or useful, truthfully. Luna and those guards were horrid protectors of Ponyville! They were almost killed in seconds!!!

And, if the Mane Six are to be involved in this story at the same age they are, then it can't be many years since that event with the Timberwolves for Dust Storm. Maybe one or two, but not anymore. Dust was six when Luna first encountered him. So, if he is now eighteen or above, the Mane Six would be twelve or around that many years older. Logically then, it's been a really short time or a really long time since thàt fight was fought against the Timberwolves.

4287953 dont worry..... no one is regressed.....




yet



hehehehe

4287953

First of all, thank you very much for your feedback. Secondly, I'll admit this chapter was very rushed, and nowhere near my usual/best quality.

Hhmmm. So...not just a story with characters going to an alternate universe. Delightful.
But, with Dust Storm, I have a few issues.
Okay.

One, it's not stated how many years it has been since the first time he met Luna.
He's age 18 now, it's been about 12 years. Forgot to clarify.

Secondly, where's his regression scene, then?
Not yet implemented.

Thirdly, a pony six years of age managed to fight all these Timberwolves alone? And, an alicorn's just several feet away?! I'm sorry, but if a little one such as Dust can defeat those wolves, then what does Luna have to fear...at all?! Alicorns have access to m-u-c-h more powerful spells than a common Unicorn, so a Blaze spell should be super easy to do for Luna. In fact, she probably could use a serious spell involving fire to scorch those wolves before they even got a jump on the guards and herself!
You don't get it. His special talent is combat magic, which is why he was easily able to dispatch them. And she's a cautious battler, she wouldn't just blast magic everywhere like Dust did. Dust is a completely reckless battler, which is why he threw himself on top of the enemies, unlike the wary movements of the Lunar Guards and Luna herself.

Also...Dust was a punching bag? To his whole family? Look, the phrase, 'whatever doesn't kill you, makes you stronger', isn't gonna work here. Keep in mind, this is a very young pony. For two adult ponies to beat him up, would either kill him or leave him with severe injuries. So, he would probably not be able to even stand up from the pain of his broken bones. And, most certainly, couldn't survive in the Everfree forest for very long. OR, fight off several creatures in the night!
I've based his story off of my own. He was heavily abused by his family, so he fled at a very young age. He had to learn to become strong to survive in the Everfree Forest. He eventually healed from the physical injuries caued by his family. And he, like me, did get broken bones, but as nopony was there to support him, he had to learn to deal with injuries like that himself. He taught himself field medicine. (although, irl, I did have a doctor treat me)

Also, why send guards and Luna to defend this position? It's apparent that Ponyville's problems usually are solved by the Mane Six, so why send in the troops when they obviously aren't needed? Or useful, truthfully. Luna and those guards were horrid protectors of Ponyville! They were almost killed in seconds!!!
This isn't a story about the Mane6. If we followed the canon TV show to a pinpoint, then there would be no point of fanfictions. And again, I don't think you read. They were not sent to hold the position, they were sent to scout the location. It was just bad luck that they were attacked. And if somepony attacks you off-guard, I'd like to see you not get hurt at all. The point was- the unit wasn't prepared for the strength or speed of the Timberwolves.

And, if the Mane Six are to be involved in this story at the same age they are, then it can't be many years since that event with the Timberwolves for Dust Storm. Maybe one or two, but not anymore. Dust was six when Luna first encountered him. So, if he is now eighteen or above, the Mane Six would be twelve or around that many years older. Logically then, it's been a really short time or a really long time since thàt fight was fought against the Timberwolves.
I don't know about this part.... I don't know how the story will go, I just wrote this part off.

4289276
You're welcome.:twilightsmile:

Well, you really should put in that he's much older now since then.

You're right; I don't get it. Never was it stated that magic was divided into categories, so how was I to know somepony could work on just one magic type? Anyways, if he does know combat magic, who taught him? Was it from his parents? Because that seems like sorta a stretch when you think about it. They beat him up often by the sound of it, so why would they care enough to teach him magic?

And, if Luna is a cautious combatant, then it should also be written in. How was I to know Luna fights that way? And, what does it matter if she battles with more thought than action? This is a intensely close life-and-death situation, so she will most likely try to kill the wolves as they lunge at her out of instinct.

I'm very sorry that happened to you. I hope they got (or, will get) what they deserve. :heart:

They weren't prepared? But...a six year old was? So, if we put Luna and Dust in an arena, Dust would come out victorious? I mean, wouldn't it make sense? Dust took out all those wolves within seconds. Had he not been there, Luna would've been killed because she couldn't hoofle that many enemies at once. But, Dust could. So...then a six year old Unicorn is much more lethal than a fully grown Alicorn. Damn. I wonder how much more powerful he's become since then. Probably could destroy entire towns or cities, I'm guessing.

4293392

You're right; I don't get it. Never was it stated that magic was divided into categories, so how was I to know somepony could work on just one magic type?
No idea, nothing's really canon about magic types

Anyways, if he does know combat magic, who taught him? Was it from his parents? Because that seems like sorta a stretch when you think about it. They beat him up often by the sound of it, so why would they care enough to teach him magic?
Again, it was self-taught, just like how I taught myself to fight with blades IRL. Because nopony was there for me, I had to grow strong on my own.

And, if Luna is a cautious combatant, then it should also be written in. How was I to know Luna fights that way? And, what does it matter if she battles with more thought than action? This is a intensely close life-and-death situation, so she will most likely try to kill the wolves as they lunge at her out of instinct.
I'm not entirely sure how to answer this, poor writing on my part.

I'm very sorry that happened to you. I hope they got (or, will get) what they deserve. :heart:
They weren't prepared? But...a six year old was? So, if we put Luna and Dust in an arena, Dust would come out victorious? I mean, wouldn't it make sense?
He was watching them from a distance, and decided to jump in. Dust would probably lose in a battle against Luna, the only reason why he was able to win was because he caught the wolves off-guard.

Dust took out all those wolves within seconds. Had he not been there, Luna would've been killed because she couldn't hoofle that many enemies at once. But, Dust could. So...then a six year old Unicorn is much more lethal than a fully grown Alicorn. Damn. I wonder how much more powerful he's become since then. Probably could destroy entire towns or cities, I'm guessing.
See above.

4301820
Hhmmm...WRONG! ALL OF THIS IS WRONG! I'M RIGHT; YOU'RE WRONG! I HATE DUST BECAUSE HE DOESN'T MAKE SENSE!!!

MHAHAHAHA!!!

...

Kidding!:twilightblush: Sounded like a plothole, eh?

Anyways, I'm satisfied with your reply, sir or madam. Thanks, though I do hope you'll touch the story up since it was rushed. I don't see much of a reason to push your story out if it wasn't ready. You just have to edit it later, so you are just delaying the work you had to do.

4309543

I haven't had the time to do writing, I'm juggling my job, personal problems, and finals. But I promise to improve my writing and push out good chapters like I used to with the current two stories I am working on.

You're honestly one of my favorite critics on FimFiction, you've helped me improve a lot of my writing, and you know how to say it so it's clear, yet still polite and kind.

4309604
You apparently didn't read the first part of my last comment, I'd assume.

Joking aside, I must respond!

...Awww! That's so sweet! I'm...blushing.:twilightblush:

Well, I try to be a good critic. Not very mean, though a tad sarcastic.

If you would like, send me a message with separate links to your stories. After I've read them, I'll review them. Do say that I promised to read, then review them. Or, I might...forget what I'd said.

4309745

I'll send you the links when I get back to writing. Don't know when that will be.

4309604 much much better than that darkentrophy asshole

4316035 is it odd that I havent even read lusters chapter yet?

EDIT: HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAH.. meh

4316587 as soon as flutters and zubric send me thier chapters i can upload mine... its complete

4316616

Then... You shall rule Fimfiction:flutterrage:

4316701 yes... that will be the day

4316704

And I shall quietly sit on the side, having wacky adventures with my Ponysona Incognito:trollestia:

4317387

I believe that beat my worst monday

4317387 4317450
It's worse than Tuesday.

4317548

Nothing important usually happens till friday

4317565 Monday is the best day ever. Want to know why?

Without Monday: we would have no Hump Day
Without Monday: we would have only 313 days in a year on estimation
Without Monday: no other day would be correct, Tuesday would become the new Monday.
Without Monday: we wouldn't have a good day to throw shit at people.

Monday takes all the shit we give it, and just absorbs it, like a boss. Do you know why? Because Monday is amazing, even if its not up front.

...So...Luster Star? Well...uh...he seems very...

Very...

Um...yeah, yeah I got nothing.

Alright, time to review!

Luster can't remember his old name since it was mentioned to be null and void, but can remember what he ate before being sent to another dimension? A name he's had for his entire life is lost to him, yet leftovers for breakfast wasn't?!

Or...he just won't tell us his previous name because doing so is useless with him being stuck in another universe now, which is lazy.

SPEAKING OF LAZY, what else can define him more?! Actually, it was the only characteristic about him throughout this entire chapter!

He was lazy in telling the story's beginning by removing the intro himself! He was when waking up! He was lazy by eating pizza for breakfast!

And...he IS NOT a person to keep a clean house. He wasn't worried about the dirty dishes, so can't be considered the type.

Not a very good introduction to this character. Viewers tend to either like or dislike a character based on their characteristics. I don't like him or hate him based on his character.

ACTUALLY, I DSLIKE THE FACT HE BARELY HAS ANY CHARACTER AT ALL.

Also, I'm confused on one part. When he ascended the flight of stairs to stop everything to speak to himself in front of a mirror, what was going on? He said, as the story's narrator, it was just to bring up his ego. Though, as the character literally speaking, said in a sarcastic tone it was to enlarge his sense of self-worth. Which was it, then? Was he ACTUALLY raising his self-esteem, or just being sarcastic throughout the whole event?

I hope he is given more characteristics later on, or I don't really see him being a character readers care about.

4321079 that i can answer: luster remembers his name, but hes saying it is useless to him at this point

and we each have out own personalities that will be revealed in due time... until revealed think of us as DISCORDS personal Elements of Disharmony

4320056


Mein gott:twilightoops:

Monday is a boss

4321657

DISCORDS personal Elements of Disharmony

Cue dramatic squirrel

4321717 drama squirrel, hahahahahaa

but yeah... no one ever notices mondays

4321720

And no one give a darn about Tuesday:derpytongue2:

4321736 tuesday is a good day

4321747

My Tuesdays are only good because I get to nap for about five hours

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