• Member Since 8th Mar, 2013
  • offline last seen Feb 24th, 2015

Swimmingly


Like a neglected and dejected pup, I roam. Also known as Swimmingly "Herr Direktor" Choppingston.

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You already knew her, she and you were both leading the class in advance musical studies and Canterlot university, you never really had anything to do with her, except rivalry. You didn't know this then but she always thought you were too sure of yourself, to egotistical. Well you certainly aren't either of those any more, you realise that maybe just maybe your life took a turn for the worse so you could meet her again.



This is my first attempt at second person narrative.

Chapters (1)
Comments ( 6 )

no offense, this was terrible.

4249421 uggubluh, i'm with this guy...
you need to get yourself a proofreader for that grammar and occasional misspelling, but you need it particularly for those sentences you just chopped into smaller sentences with no regard for the flow of language. the impact that i assume your story was supposed to have didn't pack any punch because you just shooed things along much too quickly. also, if octavia could recognize vinyl so easily and became such good friends with her when she was visiting the prison, why didn't she recognize her years later?

4249502 she didn't recognise her years later because she had been working herself to the bone daily.

4249421 may I just ask how does one say that something was terrible w it gout it being offensive?

Saying no offence makes it worse.

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