Crashing the Wedding Crashers
Oh man that was fun! I thought as I exited the portal. And what a great warm up for-!
My thoughts were interrupted when I saw Canterlot encased by a massive barrier.
What? But I still had some decent time left before… Oh no. If time travels that much faster here than there, then…
I immediately started to sprint towards city.
“SHITSHITSHITSHITSHITSHITSHITSHITSHITSHITSHITSHIT-!”
One Day Later
Thankfully I wasn’t late. Actually I was right on time, arriving just as the train with the Elements did. Sure, I could’ve warped to where I needed to be, but the fact is I was in such a panic that I completely forgot. Oh well, I’m sure I needed the exercise after everything that I ate at that party.
I looked from my resting place at the base of the mountain. I could barely see the changelings pounding on the shield above. Soon there was a flash of green energy from inside the palace followed minutes later by the pink barrier shattering.
I casually stood up and unclipped my naginata.
“And showtime.”
Vinyl and Octavia darted through the alleys in the city, dodging the seemingly endless waves of creatures that came from the sky, wrapping anypony unlucky to get caught in some sort of green goop.
“Tavi, this way!” the unicorn shouted, turning down another alleyway, only to be cut off as another one of the creatures landed in front of them.
“Crap! Down here!” she shouted, turning down another one only for two of them to burst out of the windows. They turned once again, only to find out too late they were being herded out into the open along with another group of ponies, surrounded by the creatures.
“Heh, never thought a gig up in Canterlot would turn into this, huh Tavi?” Vinyl chuckled nervously as they were backed up into the group with the other ponies.
“Hush Vinyl, this isn’t the time! We need to think of a way-“
She was cut off by what must have been the most over the top laugh she’d ever heard coming from above. Everypony looked up just in time to see a recognizable armored figure land in front of them with an earth-shaking thud. Just then music began to play as he started spinning his weapon.
“VILE INVADERS! INSECTIOD EQUINES! PREPARE FOR DEFEAT! YOUR PLANS OF CONQUEST HAVE MET THEIR END THE MOMENT YOU CROSSED PATHS WITH ME! NOW EXPERIENCE THE WRATH AND POWER OF THE ILLUSTRIOUS GILAGAMESH!”
The ponies, minus a certain earth pony and unicorn, looked on in complete shock while the creatures looked between themselves and the warrior with utter confusion.
“OPENINGCANOFWHOOPASSNOW!”
“Wha-?” one of them managed to utter before Gilgamesh slammed his weapon into the ground, producing a massive shockwave that sent many the insectiod creatures flying, slamming into several buildings. The remaining ones managed to recover from the initial weirdness and attacked the warrior, only for him to smack them aside like… well, bugs, laughing boisterously as he did. In less than a minuts it was over, nearly fifty of the creatures lay defeated, knocked out or in too much pain to move.
“HAHA! IT SEEMS THAT EVEN THE EVILDOERS HAVE DRASTICALLY WEAKENED IN POWER!”
“G-Gilgamesh?”
“Huh? Oh hey! Tavi and Vinyl! Glad to see you two are ok! So listen, I’ve gotta go take care of an invading queen, you two take the rest and find somewhere to hide, maybe we’ll meet up and have some tea some other time. Kay thanks bye!”
And with that he sprinted off leaving a trail of dust behind him, as well as a mass of confused ponies.
“It’s a fight song.”
“What?” Octavia turned to her unicorn companion.
“It’s a song to fight to. That’s why he likes it so much,” she explained before turning to her marefriend. “And it’s awesome.”
I stood at the palace gates, already having taken out several changelings on my way. If the hivemind that a lot of fans thought they had was real then they probably at least knew I was on my way. Not that it really mattered, Chrysalis was probably the only one that could even give me a bit of challenge, and that was assuming I didn’t transform.
Hm. So how do I want to make my entrance? I could blare Andrew W.K.’s “Ready to Die”, it would certainly inspire fear. Then again, if I’m broadcasting fear I probably won’t look like a good guy to the ponies. I could go the badass route, use “Thunderstruck” by AC/DC. Nah, they might be expecting that. Maybe confusion instead. But what song to…
Oh, there’s a good one.
I kicked in the palace doors before blaring my choice.
“Do you hear that?” Drone 32 asked.
“Ready yourselves!” Corporal Pincer ordered.
The changelings all gathered their power, ready to take on the creature that had somehow made mincemeat of their forces. Soon it rounded the corner, causing all the insect equines to look on in confusion.
The creature was walking- no, strutting towards them, at the same pace of the song it was somehow producing. It wasn’t until it was right on them they thought to ready themselves again, only for it to continue its pace right past them.
They were all shocked into stillness once again before finally recovering and attacking. They never even got close, the creature swiftly unclipping its spear and smacking them aside into walls, out windows, and through doors, all while seemingly dancing to the beat of the song. Within seconds it was over, the armored creature continuing its strut to the throne room.
Corporal Pincer picked himself up with a groan.
I have to warn the Queen!
Chrysalis turned to see Corporal Pincer burst into the throne room and slam the door behind him.
“What’s going on?” she ordered.
“My queen, the creature is headed this way! We couldn’t stop it!”
“’Creature?’ What are you talking about?” Cadence asked aloud.
“That’s none of your-!” the Changeling Queen began, only to see the pink mare of the Elements move strangely, her ears flopping followed by here eyes fluttering and finally falling over as her knees twitched. “What was that?”
“Um, I’d get away from the door, if I were you,” she answered to the Corporal.
“What?”
It was the last word he uttered before the doors swung open and smashed him against the wall.
“STAYIN ALIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIVE!”
Chrysalis, and the other nine ponies in the room, could only look on with shock as the massive armored creature began dancing right in front of them, somehow radiating a song from itself.
“You!” Shining Armor shouted in anger.
“Who?” Cadence asked.
“Oh not you,” Twilight groaned.
“Wh-what?” Chrysalis stuttered. “Why are-?”
“YOU, INSECTOID QUEEN, ARE THE REASON I HAVE COME HERE TODAY! PREPARE TO BE SENT BACK TO THE HELLHOLE WHERE YOU CAME FROM!” he shouted, the music finally stopping.
The queen growled. “So, you’re an agent of Celestia, are you?”
“Me? A servant of the Princess?” he asked before laughing. “Oh, that’s rich!”
“If you do not serve her, then why-?”
“For a more personal reason, Changeling ruler.”
“’Personal?’”
“Indeed! You who would not only ruin this most sacrosanct of occasions, the joining in hooves between these two ponies in holy matrimony, but also milk it for thy own profit!” he proclaimed, motioning to the alicorn and her groom. “There are some things I will not stand for, no matter what! And now bug queen, PREPARE TO BE SMASHED, BASHED, AND OTHERWISE THRASHED! FOR YOU NOW FACE THE RAGE OF THE MIGHTY GIL-!”
Chrysalis cut him off with a magic blast to the face, instantly knocking him onto his back. She waited for him to respond, only for him remain motionless. The ponies looked on in horror as she smirked.
“Well so much for that-“
tink tink tink tink tink tink
“What is that sound?”
Everyone turned to see Celestia frantically tapping on her cocoon prison with her hoof, looking at Chrysalis like she was desperately trying to get her attention. After a moment of processing the Queen decided to remove enough of the cocoon to expose her face.
“Chrysalis, we are not friends,” Celestia quickly began. “I have not forgiven you for invading my kingdom, attacking my subjects, foalnapping my prized pupil and my niece, brainwashing my captain, or your attack upon me. Nevertheless I must warn you, for your own sake and the sake of your subjects, to run. Run, now, very far, very fast. Or else.”
Chrysalis only stared for a moment before laughing.
“You must be joking! You expect me to leave right now in my hour of-?”
“You interrupted me.”
All faces turned to the warrior still lying on the floor, apparently very much awake.
“What?”
“You interrupted me.”
Chrysalis chuckled. “Why yes, I-“
The warrior pushed himself off the ground and up to his feet in one smooth motion.
“YOU. INTERRUPTED. ME.”
Chrysalis’ blood ran cold, just like everyone else in the room.
“I-“
The warrior planted his weapon into the ground hard enough to leave a hole in the marble and send out a loud thud seemingly throughout the entire palace. He then took a strange pose before shouting “HENSHIN!” A bright flash radiated from the armored being before fading, revealing a new form with six extra limbs and four extra weapons.
“I AM GOING TO KILL YOU! I WILL CUT YOU IN HALF AND STRANGLE YOU TO DEATH WITH YOUR INTESTINES! BUT NOT BEFORE I SNAP THAT HORN RIGHT OFF YOUR HEAD AND SHOVE IT RIGHT UP YOUR A-!”
Chrysalis cut him off again with another magic blast to the face, this time only knocking his head back. A moment later he tilted it forwards, the fire in his eyes even more intense.
“Bitch, Imma cut you,” he threatened in a somehow terrifyingly calm voice.
Chrysalis could only stare before coming to her senses.
“CHANGELINGS!” she shouted while simultaneously sending the command through the hivemind for all her forces to return. Within seconds her entire army had gathered to the throne room, surrounding the multi-armed warrior.
“CHARGE!”
20 Seconds later…
“RETREAT!”
Chrysalis and her army flew and galloped in all directions, out the windows and down the halls of the Canterlot Palace. Right behind them was the warrior, screaming at the top of his lungs and swinging his weapons wildly.
“EXTERMINATE! EXTERMINATE! EXTERMINATE! EXTERMINATE! EXTERMINATE!”
The ponies remaining in the throne room could only stare in pure shock and confusion.
“Uh, Shiny?” Cadence began, catching her fiancé’s attention. “I think have an idea.”
After the barrier, the wedding, and the after-party…
“Well, that was certainly an exciting wedding, don’t you think Shiny?”
“Yeah, but I’d rather it wasn’t,” he groaned in response.
“What’s wrong?”
“It’s just that that thing, that Gilgamesh, the same one who beat up Celestia, just saved us, and our wedding. I just… I don’t know what to think.”
Shining Armor had constantly thought about his failure to apprehend the warrior when he first escaped and had felt even worse when he heard that he’d been popping up around Ponyville near his sister. And now that failure had come back to help him? He just couldn’t understand it.
“I know, but there’s a time for thinking and time to just let things be,” she said with a comforting smile before giving him a quick kiss. “So just relax for now,” she advised with a nuzzle.
He couldn’t help but smile and nuzzle her back. “You’re right. I guess things aren’t so bad right now so I should-“
“Prince Shining Armor! Princess Cadence!” called one of the guards pulling their stagecoach, the vehicle stopping suddenly.
“What is it, sold-?” Shining began to ask while peeking his head outside only to see the source of the problem.
In front of them, about twenty yards away, was Gilgamesh himself, standing in the middle of the road. He cut open a hole in the air before reaching in and pulling out a sign that made the newly married prince blush.
DON’T BE AFRAID TO GET FREAKY ON THE HONEYMOON!
The words were written in red and surrounded by drawings of pink hearts. He could swear he saw the warrior wink before tossing the sign back into the dimensional rift and jumping in himself.
“Well I suppose if nothing else he seems happy enough about us,” Cadence commented, having also peeked out to get a look. “And maybe we could take some of his advice,” she added with a sultry look.
Shining Armor did a double take before grinning back.
“Guards, double-time. Now.”
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Hahahahahahahahahahahahaha
I'm dead
Wow.
It is perfectly fine to interrupt monologues of villains.
But do that to a Warrior or Hero?
....Prepare for getting FUCKED UP.
Why am I up late enough to read this? Oh well.
Love it!
Only wish he'd have walked into this scene. Also wish the sequel for this would come out already.
If Shiny is somehow still mad at Gilga I call bullshit, dude just bought you a all you can eat taco night, that's worth so many solids it's not even funny.
.
this chapter was fucking hilarious EXTERMINATE HAHAHAHA oh and the bee gees nice music
For a second when he threatens to cut her I heard Mr. Popo's voice in my head.
I'm not sure if that's what you were going for or if I should be scared that I heard his voice in my head.
I just gonna leave it here.
Ummm, sake or did you mean ask?
best lines in this chapter
MOAR! WE NEED MOAR!
4681442 THAT would have been hilarious.
4681461
Be afraid.
static.comicvine.com/uploads/original/6/67602/2157718-10073036a3.jpg
Be very. Very afraid.
also that part were he says bitch imma cut you my insides hurt from laughing so hard
WOOHOO, I'm influential! Just glad to be of help, and if you really want to show your thanks, just keep being awesome.
media.giphy.com/media/5DQdk5oZzNgGc/giphy.gif
On a less arrogant note, loved the chapter, and as usual, it gave me tons of laughs. I'll also have to check out the crossover story, as it isn't one I have looked at yet, so bonus points to my luck then.
encrypted-tbn2.gstatic.com/images?q=tbn:ANd9GcTEPV-GiugXyXHKpFWMnUlvpMEAll0y-h8IfRQgb5FqieE2KhqL
The first time she attacked Gilgamesh, I get that, she didn't know. But a second time? Bitch just don't learn, do she?
4681447 That is the best way i've ever heard cunnilingus described, ever.
And thus Gilgamesh saves the day once more. Now if only I could be assed to parody the end narration of the Powerpuff Girls.
That fight scene I had this playing through my mind
It was hilarious
Gilgamesh is a shipper? Huh, who knew?
Beware the silly ones. They tend to kill
At the slowest pace,
a friendship ties the one rejected by harmony
to these tiny lights of warmth.
Surely, such a dream will be wonderful,
blissfully resting this night,
Awaiting further releases.
4681951 That was beautiful, and I recognize Ring-a-bell in your icon
Gilgy Dalek ftw
4682046
Thanks! We try our best.
I'm looking forward to playing Bravely Default at some point.
My gratitude towards you.
MY LUNGS!
In another universe,
in another time,
Queen Chrysalis shudders.
Shit was lost that day. And I choked on my own saliva.
Every time someone say they will strangle you with your own intestine I think of sheogorath.
“CHANGELINGS!” she shouted while simultaneously sending the command for all her forces to return. Within seconds her entire army had gathered to the throne room, surrounding the multi-armed warrior.
“CHARGE!”
20 Seconds later…
“RETREAT!”
That was the highlight of this chapter. This is officially my favorite chapter ever. Keep up the good work
4682714
It's also a reference to Monty Python and the Holy Grail...
4682743
Never saw the movie, though I hear its supposed to be really funny
There are too many funny moments in this chapter; I don't even know where to start complimenting it.
4682764
It's hilarious nine times out of ten, if you're a guy. For some reason women just can't get it...
Held it together perfectly until
And then I just lost my shit.
img1.wikia.nocookie.net/__cb20121115000118/theamazingworldofgumball/images/0/08/Dalek_exterminate.jpg
best fighting is Music fighting
What the hell When i searched That it comes with :Best fighting is magic fighting
That there is some Crazy stuff
4682839 I know, I read that whole section after she interrupted him in the voice of Alucard from Hellsing Ultimate Abridged
MOOOORRREEEE!!!!!!
Well that was fun!
Best chapter ever. Of all time.
Can't wait for the next one
First off: YOU FUCKED UP MY INTRODUCTION......NOW I FUCK YOU!!!!!!!!
Secondly: Nice choice in confusing music.
Nearly died laughing when I read that
ANOTHER CHAPTER THIS WAS SO HILARIOUS
.... I have yet to go through ONE chapter of this story without laughing or cracking a smile, and it.is. GLORIOUS
Keep up the good work. Deus tecum.
That feeling when the music got that exact point as I was reading it.
The Doctor Who reference to the Daleks made my day thank you. Exterminate! Exterminate! Exterminate! Exterminate! Exterminate!
Gilgamesh gets that match closer towards acceptance with the world in general. And creates new horror storys amongst the changelings.
I always thought that Octavia and Vinyl would love Lindsey Stirling's music. Dub step and strings are awesome together and that violinist proves it in both of her albums. (I went through a lot of trouble finding them both)
*nudge-wink*
As strange as this is, despite all the examples of how Gilgamesh's voice sounds I still can't help but hear Kikuchiyo's voice from the Samurai 7 anime.