• Published 12th Apr 2014
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The Mighty Warrior of Epicness - shinigamisparda



A cosplayer is sent to Equestria as his outfit, Gilgamesh from Final Fantasy. Let his epic quest for fights and fun begin!

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The Weight of the Worlds

“HAHAHAHAHA! LOOK AT YOUR FACE!” he laughed as he pointed at the photo on the front page.

I glared at him. The two of us were currently looking through the article that was posted about our little escapade in Canterlot. “You do realize that could have turned out much worse than it did, right? You may deal with this kind of crap daily, but I don’t! Not even I am brave enough to make fun of Celestia’s weight. Not after what happened to Luna and Paco,” I muttered with a small shudder.

“Who?”

“Paco, or Pacolytese as he prefers, was the emperor of the dragons when I first came to Equestria. It was with my help that the Princesses were finally able to defeat him. We became allies afterwards, though he never fails to bring up how I defeated him every now and again. He can be such a whiner!”

“‘Dragon Emperor?’ Interesting, it seems even the dragon societies are different between dimensions. I myself faced off with, and completely crushed, the Dragon King Crimsonwing. We weren’t exactly friends after that but we did respect each other. Even introduced me to his daughter.”

I nodded. “It seems dragons are a problem in many places. Though, I did like finding out the new info on them when I came back.”

“Oh yeah, like what?”

“That I am worshiped by them as the Goddess of Battle! Can you believe that?! They actually pray to me before going out into battle! They bowed to me when I was at the coven! I freakin’ love it, plus they reinforced my shield and gave me the staff. Dragons are the best smiths on my world, after all.”

“Same here, though they prefer their natural weapons. Also, ‘Goddess of Battle?’ Bitchin’! I myself have become something of a boogeyman to them, ‘Gilgamesh the Dragon Smasher.’ There was even this one adult dragon who, upon realizing who I was, practically begged me to take his horde. I even have him in my debt.”

“Huh, all I got is a team of dragons who help me destroy the nevi. They’re all teens too. Though, Garble and his friends certainly are loyal and very good at doing what I tell them, too. Doesn’t hurt that they fear me getting angry with them, not that I ever would. Wonder if it’s because of how I defeated Paco?”

“Wait, did you say Garble?”

“You know him? Red scales, orange spines? Huh, interesting.”

I saw him grimace. “Uh, I don’t know him, actually, although I do know of him. Just a heads up, um… how much do you like Twilight, Rainbow, Rarity, and especially Spike?”

“Helpful, fun, handy, and a great cook, in that order. Why?”

“Well, let’s just say if you are friends with them I predict you giving three dragon teens a smackdown for being assholes to them.”

“Garble? You sure we’re talking about the same drake? He’s been nothing, but a sweetheart. Sure he and his friends are a little rough around the edges, what dragon isn’t, but they are good kids. Maybe whatever you’re talking about won’t happen in my world as it would here. Then again, I never really knew the kid until after I saved him from being killed by a Hulk. That may have something to do with it.”

“Well, it’s possible, but just in case, prepare to give them a scolding after the Dragon Migration. Oh, and speaking of the show, a certain advertisement in the newspaper tells me a specific episode is going to be coming up,” he said, pointing to a page on the newspaper.

“Are we interfering?” I ask, taking a look at the ad. It sponsored some kind of self-help lessons, though I wasn’t sure how that meant anything.

“Eh, probably not much. I don’t really want to derail the show’s continuity that much, that way I’ll be able to keep up with it and predict future events.”

“Okay, so what do we do now?”

“What you’re going to do is maybe give me some tips on how to get in the good graces of one pink-maned pegasus mare.”

“Get good with my alternate granddaughter, eh? Well, the best thing to do, for you anyway, is to keep your voice down. Flutters is easily startled and if you boom your voice like normally, you’re just gonna cause her to panic. Another is to show her how animals react to you. I have seen you during our meditation practice, you get covered in some of the local wildlife because they think you’re just a statue. Show her that. And most important of all: be sincere! Don’t exaggerate, don’t go over the top, just keep it nice and simple and clear. Do these and I’m sure you’ll have a new friend.”

“Or at the very least she won’t be terrified of me. Now, that seminar is in two months, so until then,” he grabbed the newspaper and threw it aside before hopping to his feet and unclipping his naginata. “TRAINING TIME!”

I instinctively threw on my shield, knowing what was to come. I had gotten used to his spontaneous attacks, so I wasn’t afraid of what was coming. No, I felt excited. “Alright then Sensei Gilgy,” I summoned my staff to my free hand as if it were a lightsaber and it sprang to full length, “Let’s get it on!”


“So, how does this ‘Iron Will’s’ training sessions go badly for Flutters again? If anypony needs some help with assertiveness, it’s her.”

“Oh you’ll see. Just watch,” I explained. Kat and I were both hiding in the haystack near Fluttershy’s cottage. In a way, I couldn’t wait to see her expressions when she saw ‘New Fluttershy.’ I’m sure it will be one hell of a shock.

“Ok here she comes,” I whispered.

“Excuse me, Mr. Greenhooves, but I-I think you might be over-watering my petunias… again.”

“Let the professional handle it,” the old stallion answered with a contented chuckle.

The mare hesitated a moment before visibly steeling herself. “Treat me like a pushover, and you'll get the once over.”

What happened next was right out of… well, a cartoon. She cut off the hose only to let it go, spraying the old gardener in the face.

“Well, perhaps that is enough water,” he answered with a nervous chuckle.

“Thank you. Hee! I can’t beleive it worked!”

Kat looked quite bewildered at the sight. “Um, why is alternate-Flutters being a jerk?” she asked as we saw Fluttershy dump a ton of garbage on two other mares.

“Unfortunately Iron Will’s ‘assertiveness’ lessons are less about building courage and more about lashing out others. Instead of ‘I’m not a pushover’ it’s more ‘get the fuck out of my way or else.’”

She stared for another moment before hanging her head. “I am so having a talk with Flutters when I get home.”

“If you’re concerned about her going from ‘Fluttershy’ to ‘Flutterbitch’, I can safely say that problem will right itself by the time this is over. But for now, let’s watch.”

“Well, that and she really needs to learn how to fly better. She could have just flown over those two instead of dumping garbage on them. Oh boy, do I have a lot to do when I get back.”

“Another issue that will resolve itself with time, specifically when Cloudsdale is going to need water, but how big a footprint you leave on your own universe is your choice. Follow me,” I said cutting a hole nearby. We both entered and then quickly exited on the roof of the building across from Sugarcube Corner. Staying prone I signaled her to crawl to the edge just as Fluttershy was taking her place in line.

“What do you think you're doing?! Didn't you see me?” she asked with surprising force.

“Uh, I guess maybe,” the mare rudely replied.

“'Maybe'? Maybes are for babies!" she replied before spinning the pony around. “Now go to the back of the line where you belong!”

The ponies all gasped before all of them scooted behind her, complete with sound of a VCR rewinding.

“Huh. So the world itself has sound effects. That’s interesting,” I muttered.

“How much longer do we have to watch this? My motherly instincts are acting up and I don’t like it one bit!” Kat complained.

“Unfortunately, a whole day. I thought it might be good for you to see how intense meek little Fluttershy can get. As the saying goes ‘beware the rage of the patient man.’”

“Uh, if Flutters really has the ‘Stare’, as I hear it’s called now, I already know how powerful she can be. She gets it from Flitterbee. First time she used it, made a bunch of teenage colts wet themselves and they ran home crying to their mommies, all after a fierce verbal beat down, too.”

“Oh, it’s genetic? I’d never have guessed. That raises some scary possibilities in regards to Pinkie’s family.”

“Now that you mention it, I do remember seeing a white pegasus back in the day with a similar mane to Pinkie. Though it was blonde. I can’t remember her name, but she had this tendency to pop out of nowhere and pull pranks on her fellow guards.”

“Surprise?”

“Hey yeah! Wait, how’d you know that?”

“When Lauren Faust was making the show she wanted to make Pinkie Pie a pegasus named Surprise, but executive meddling changed that. Same with Rainbow Dash. I don’t suppose you know a mare named Firefly?”

“The name doesn’t ring any bells,” she said while tapping her finger to her chin. “What’s she look like?”

“Basically Rainbow Dash but with a pink coat, a blue mane, and two blue lightning bolts for a cutie mark.”

“Hmm, can’t say that I have ever seen a pony like that. It’s possible, though, since Dash said her family has always lived in Cloudsdale. Never really spent much time there, so…” she shrugged.

Before we could continue the sound of ponies galloping or flying away in fear caught our attention. Fluttershy was exiting Sugarcube Corner with Rarity and Pinkie Pie nervously following behind.

“Bye, girls. What a day. Taxi!” she called, causing a yellow stagecoach with black and white checker to pull up. Almost immediately a grey stallion jumped inside. “Oh no you don't. ‘Cut in line, I'll take what's mine!’” she cried before jumping in and giving the poor guy a royal beatdown and tossing him from the stagecoach. “Nopony pushes new Fluttershy around! NOPONY!” she screamed before the stallion pulling the coach galloped off, clearly terrified.

“Old Pinkie Pie is not so sure New Fluttershy is such a good idea after all.”

“Old Rarity agrees.”

“So does Old Kat. Well, I think I have seen enough of my granddaughter being a complete and total bitch. Reminds me of a few girls from high school. I think I would rather be training some more than keep watching. Though, if she toned it down a bit, I think she’d be okay. Just a bit.”

“Well that’s good, because I’m thinking of taking your training to the next level, just want to see how you do first. Come on.”

I cut open another portal and we both entered, nopony the wiser.


As was his habit, Gilgamesh set a song our fight. This was really a handicap he gave me, as he had taught me most experienced fighters had a rhythm they fought to, even if they didn’t realize it. By hearing his he was basically telling me the pace he was going to set for the fight, and this was decent speed.

He dashed at me and brought his weapon down at my head, which I quickly sidestepped before ducking under a roundhouse kick. He used his spear to sweep at me, which I jumped over, and then used his momentum to launch a straight punch at me. I quickly adjusted my gravity upwards, carrying me above his fist, before adjusting it again and unleashing a gravity kick at his face. He dodged by falling to his back and then thrusting both legs up to counterattack, which I managed to block with my shield. The force sent me skyrocketing, and I saw him prepare to jump up at me. I threw my staff down at him like a javelin, which he stepped backwards to avoid, before teleporting down to it. I grabbed my weapon and swung up at him, which he blocked with his own before grabbing my arm and headbutting me, following it up with thrust kick which sent me flying towards a tree. I adjusted my gravity in the opposite direction to slow my momentum before killing my powers and landing with my feet on the ground.

I powered down and smiled at my teacher. “How was that?” I, honestly, thought I was getting pretty bad ass at this. Look out Cellie, I got your number!

“It was shit. You got nothing on me, babe,” he responded in an aggressive tone.

What?

“Is that the best you got, doll? I guess I really have just been wasting my time.”

“S-Sensei?”

“Don’t call me that again, you pussy. You’re too weak to be my student after all. How about ‘master’ instead? That sounds about right,” he continued to taunt me before whistling a cat call.

A spark lit in me. “I don’t know what the hell’s going on, you better take that back, right bucking now.”

“Make me, bitch.”

“Motherbucker, you are dead!

I launched myself at him, adjusting my gravity for extra momentum, ready to hit him with a gravity kick before I saw him thrust his spear at me. I adjusted again and slid under his attack before smacking him in the knee with my staff. With his footing now off I jumped up and slammed my shield into his face before hovering and hitting him again with a spinning kick. I kept up the assault by stabbing at him with my staff, hitting him in the chest and stomach over and over again with rapid thrusts. I even adjusted my gravity so my beatings had more force behind them, not to mention letting me stay close as he stumbled backwards. After about ten strikes I backflipped, kicking him in the head as I did. I teleported behind him, my arm cocked and ready to swing my staff as hard as I could at the back of his head.

“YOU’RE THROUGH!” I shouted and swung… only to hit air. A cloud of dirt leading behind me was my only indication to what happened.

I barely had time to think “oh shit” before I felt metal smacking me in cheek, sending me flying. I stopped myself with hover, which turned out to be a bad idea, which I realized when I felt the fist in my gut, winding me. Despite the pain and lack of air I pushed through and managed to deflect his spear strikes with my staff and shield, long enough to catch my breath. I deflected one more strike with my shield before thrusting my staff at his face. He moved his head out of the way and grabbed my wrist before throwing me to the ground on my back, knocking the air out of me again.

“KILLING BLOW!”

I opened my eyes to see him thrust his spear at my face. Thankfully, it stopped barely an inch from me. We held like that for moment, just like my breath.

“You had good technique, instinct, and you used your abilities to give you superb mobility,” he said in a tone much more like what I was used to. He took his weapon away from my head and offered his hand. “So how did you lose?”

I stared at him and then, begrudgingly, accepted his hand. After getting up on my feet, I answered him. “I lost control,” I said while hanging my head slightly.

“Exactly, but it’s more than that. If you met a fighter you’ve never seen before and they were trash talking, you probably wouldn’t lose it even if they started saying you were more suited to be in the kitchen. You lost control because you didn’t expect those kind of words from me. So that’s your next lesson, how to keep your head even when the unexpected happens. Tomorrow we’ll work on a mantra for your meditation, something you can always fall back on even in the most trying of circumstances. If you want, we can do more combat training now, but quite honestly I think you’ve gotten a pretty good hang of this. You just need some more refining and practice with melee combat, and that will come with time.”

“Well, if you say so. What should we do now?”

“Hm. Well, we can go a few more rounds, we can go have some tea with Zecora, or we can find something to eat. Our jerky’s getting low and it’s your turn to bring in a kill.”

“Alright,” I groaned. Old student-teacher laws; the student does all the hard work! Stupid school. “What do you feel like having this time around? I’m kinda partial to manticore, myself.”

“Hey, your kill, your choice.”

“Okay, a hunting I will go~.” With that, I took off into the Everfree forest, eager for some meat, with no idea what would happen when I did.


“Ohh, are you... sure you're not just a little bit satisfied? B-because maybe... we could cut a deal. I-I mean we're both reasonable creatures, aren't we?” the minotaur asked, adjusting his tie nervously.

The pegasus shook her head. “I'm sorry, but no means no,” she answered calmly but firmly.

“‘No means no’, huh? Nopony's ever said that to me before,” he thought aloud, standing on top of one of his goat assistants. “Huh... I gotta remember that one. That's a good catchphrase for my next workshop.”

Pinkie and Rarity watched for a moment before galloping to their friend.

“You were amazing, Fluttershy! You totally stood up to that monster!” Pinkie congratulated with a hug.

“In fact, you didn't change at all! You were the same Old Fluttershy that we've always loved!” Rarity added, embracing her friend as well.

“The one we missed!”

“Don't worry, Old Fluttershy's back for good,” the shy mare answered with a gentle smile.

“I’m afraid I must disagree. You are not the Fluttershy you once were. She would have never been able to stand up to a minotaur,” came a masculine voice. “Perhaps ‘New New Fluttershy? No that sounds ridiculous.”

Three friends scanned their surroundings before trotting around Fluttershy’s cottage, only to recoil in shock as they saw Gilgamesh himself.

“No, the truth is you are always Fluttershy, no matter what changes you may make. Lives are like rivers, and they will never be exactly the same.”

The statement caught the three ponies off-guard. Not only did he sound intelligent but his tone was mellow. Further observation saw him sitting with his legs crossed, his fingers intertwined in his lap, his spear and his shield lying at his side, and most eye-catching was the birds, squirrels, and even butterflies that rested comfortably on his body.

Rarity looked on in shock, Fluttershy a mix of fear and fascination, while Pinkie simply approached in a friendly manner.

“Hiya, Gil-!”

“Shh. Lower your voice. You don’t want to scare them off,” hushed.

“Oh! I’m sorry!” she apologized, lowering her voice.

“What are you doing here?” Rarity asked, her voice venomous.

“I felt a disturbance in the peace of the town and came to observe. I noticed the formerly shy pegasus become much more aggressive and was pondering how to amend this problem. However, it seems that was unnecessary,” he explained.

“You expect us to believe that? You called Princess Celestia fat!”

Noticing the animals perched on him shift uncomfortably Rarity reigned herself in, taking a deep breath to calm herself.

“Of course. She looked even more beautiful in ages past. And who else would be willing to point out her weight gain? Not even her sister would be able to tell her the truth.”

“You and your associate interrupted the Hearth’s Warming Eve play,” she added, keeping her voice low.

“No, we made quite sure it was finished before we came onstage.”

“You… You… You’re a monster!” she half-yelled in frustration.

“Oh, like Iron Will?”

“That’s a bit mean, Rarity. Gilgamesh isn’t a monster, and neither is Iron Will.”

“F-Fluttershy!?”

“Oh, um, I’m sorry. But I just couldn’t let you say he was a monster, because he isn’t. He just does some mean things sometimes,” she explained. “And, um, why did you do those mean things, if you don’t mind me asking?”

“The same reason I do anything I do, young one. Because I wanted to,” he answered simply.

“Oh, um, ok. But it’s still kind of mean.”

“I understand. However, I do not regret anything I have done so far.”

“So if you do things you want, why are you here?” Pinkie asked.

“I wished to congratulate Fluttershy on her improvement,” he answered simply before reaching over to her. She flinched for moment before moaning contentedly as he gently scratched her behind her ears. “It is difficult for such a shy and kind soul such as yourself to respond with strength. However, as you have proven, kindness does not equate to weakness. I commend you on your growth.”

He stopped scratching her ears, causing her to groan in disappointment for moment before blushing. “Um, thank you very much, Mr. Gilgamesh sir.”

“You are most welcome,” he replied before slowly standing up, giving all the creatures a chance to jump or fly off him, before retrieving his spear and shield, clipping them to his back. “And so, I must be off. Jovial Pinkie Pie, noble Fluttershy, fair Rarity, I bid thee good day.” He then cut a portal into the air and calmly walked through it before disappearing.

“Well. That was… unexpected,” Rarity commented, still unsure if she imagined the whole thing.

“I know, right!? I never thought you could throw a surprise and still be so calm! I need to try that sometime!” Pinkie replied.

“Um, that’s not quite what I meant, darling.”


OH MY GOODNESS SHE WAS SO ADORABLE OH MY FREAKING GOD HOW CAN SOMETHING SO CUTE EXIST!?

I was positively giddy after finally being able to scratch a pony behind the ears. And Fluttershy of all ponies, oh man was she heart meltingly cute!

Well, better tell Kat and see if-

Before I could finish that thought a sound came to my ears, quite possibly one of the last sounds I expected to hear.

Screaming. Kat screaming.

As her voice rang out again, this time in pain, I dashed towards her voice at a full sprint, arriving within seconds to find-

Oh, shit.

-Kat facing down a freaking Ursa Major. I couldn’t believe what was happening before my eyes. Kat and the Ursa were locked in combat, but it didn’t look like Kat was winning. Far from it. She was getting the crap beat out of her, but why? Then I saw it, Kat tried powering up, but if failed. I realized it there and then, Kat was far too exhausted from training to be able to fight at her full power. Kat’s shield lay a good distance from her, probably being swiped from her by the beast’s massive claws. With only staff in hand, she was doing her best to keep from being mauled.

Then it went downhill. The Ursa roared at her, loud enough for Kat to wince from the noise. That was the bear’s chance and it took it, swatting Kat with its massive claw into a nearby mountain side. Kat crumpled from the blow to the ground, seemingly unable to move. The Ursa approached with a claw raised, ready to end it. I started to act, but something caught my eye. Kat was starting to glow, her body was coating her aura and her eyes were glowing white. It seemed she was saying something, so I listened in as best I could.

“...Get back. Get away from me. Go, run! I can’t… I can’t…. just go AWAY!!!!” Just as the Ursa swung its mighty claw, Kat screamed at the bear and thrust out her arm, palm out. Her hand glowed and… something began coming off the Ursa and was being drawn to her palm. The beast roared, twisting in agony from the experience. I had no idea what was happening. Both Kat and the Ursa were roaring, one in anger, while the other in pain. Then the final wisps, as I shall call them, were drawn out the bear, the animal suddenly broke apart. It just shattered into dust!

I couldn’t believe it, Kat just killed an Ursa Major with… something. I saw my apprentice slump against the mountain wall, though she was still conscious. I decided to find out once and for all exactly what was going on with Kat Shifter.


What happened? The last thing I remember I was fighting that Ursa and then a lot of pain. I don’t feel any pain now, so am I dead? I sure hope not, there are still things that I need to take care of. I groaned as I tried to force my body to move. It was slow going, but I finally was able to sit up and open my eyes. I expected to see the Ursa towering over me, preparing to end me once and for all, but instead, I was happy to see Gilgamesh there. Though, for some reason, he did not look very happy. “Hey, Gilgy,” I said while staggering to my feet. “What happened? Where did the Ursa go?”

“You tell me, Kat,” he began in a harsh tone. “What did you do to make an Ursa Major break apart into nothing?”

I looked at Gilgamesh as if he was the devil himself. “S-say again?” I asked fearfully.

“I’m asking what you did to make that giant monster fall apart into dust. And don’t try and tell me it wasn’t you, I saw you pull something out of it with your power.”

I started shaking. What Gilgamesh was saying that I… no, I couldn’t have… could I? I put a hand on the rockface to keep myself standing. I was starting to panic. If what he was telling me was true, then… “Only one way to check,” I whispered, only barely audible.

“Check what? Kat, what did you do?”

I turned to a rock and threw a punch as hard as I could. To both of our amazments, I punched a massive crater into it. I shakily took my fist out of the crater and stared at it with a pale face. “What have I done?”

“I don’t know, what have you done?” he asked, his voice growing more frustrated with each passing second.

I started to shake more than ever and I put my hands to my head. “No, no, no! I lost control, I lost control, I lost control! Why? Why did it have to be that one? It used to be Black Hole, now it’s the most dangerous weapon known to gravity shifters? No, what if I lose control around Flutters or the girls? I don’t want to hurt them, I don’t want to--oof!” I was brought out of my stammering by a fierce slap to the face. I looked to see it was Gilgamesh, looking much more ticked than before.

“This is the last time I ask: what did you do, Kat?!

I looked away from him in shame. “Extinguish,” I whispered. “The forbidden gravity power: Extinguish.”

“‘Forbidden?’ Why? I’m sure you have the power to increase a foe’s gravity to the point their organs collapse, and you already mentioned Black Hole. What makes this one so unique?”

“First you must understand what this attack does,” I said, still unable to even look at him. I held my arms tightly crossed, ashamed and afraid. “Extinguish is an absorption technique. It allows me to drain the gravitational field of my target and pull it into mine. In the process, it causes massive stress and tension in the target. Upon draining the gravity field, the target no longer has any gravity around them at all, causing their particles to drift apart and be pulled to the nearest source of gravity, in most cases that being the planet below.”

“You… You mean you essentially ripped it apart at the subatomic level?” he asked, completely agast.

“Yes. But the worst part has yet to be said.”

“What could possibly be worse than that?”

I finally looked at Gilgamesh, my eyes showing a deep rooted fear. “Gilgamesh, this attack only, and I mean only, works on living creatures! Not organic material, or anything like it, actual flesh and blood creatures.”

“You mean it can only kill? It can’t even be used to destroy an obstacle or negate magic? Nothing else?”

“I’ve tried! God knows I have! I tried using it on rocks so I could gain their durability, on trees for their health and longevity, hell I even used it on freaking weeds just to see what would happen! None of it worked and what’s even worse is that I can’t stop it! Once I activate Extinguish, it has to be used! I can’t shut it down, it’s far too powerful. Out of all my powers, this is the one that I fear with all my life and I never want to use it, not even as a last resort! But, I lost control!” I went back to clutching my fists to my head. “Oh god, no. Why, why does this always happen?”

Right then he did something I was never expecting, from him or anyone: he hugged me. “Just breathe Kat. Just breathe,” he said while stroking my hair. Now we never really had a touchy-feely relationship, nothing more than a handshake or a shoulder pat, so I was really taken back by this. Even still I followed his advice and, within a few minutes, finally managed to calm down, or at least not be on the verge of another panic attack.

“This happens every time I get super stressed,” I explained after he let me go. “Whenever my stress gets to a certain point, I lose all control over my powers. I’ve tried to keep it in check, but that hasn’t stopped it from happening. The only thing that each panic had in common was that I always ended up using my most powerful strike to end what was causing my stress. The last time it happened was after I finally mastered Black Hole and killed off the changelings. But now, Black Hole is no longer my most powerful technique.”

“I see. Well, it’s a good thing we’re starting your training tomorrow. I was planning to allow you enough control to use your melee skills and your gravity attacks interchangeably, but it looks like now we’ll have to work on full control, or at least as close as we can get to it.”

What Gilgamesh said suddenly got me thinking about my control. I was always able to keep myself in check whenever Dusty was around, though any distance of over a few miles or so prevented as such. But with him still trying to reform, there would be nothing to keep me in check against Celestia and Luna. Now realizing this, I began to panic and pace. “Oh boy, oh boy. How is this going to work now? I can’t just go in guns blazing, not that I was planning that anyway, but now I also have worry about my blood pressure? Maybe Fluttershy has some pills, oh, but then she would start asking questions. Then she would tell Twilight who would ask even more questions and knowing her she would finally be able to tell that I’m not through with the princesses. I can’t have them learning about my revenge plans.”

“What?” Gilgamesh asked, but I was on a panic-induced roll.

“Maybe if I sneak into Ponyville General and ask Red Heart? No, Flutters visits there too often and questions would be raised. Oh, questions, questions, why are there so many damn questions?!” With my rant and panic finally subsided I turned towards Gilgamesh who had a blank face. “What?” I asked innocently.

“I can’t have them learn about my what!?” he asked, looking like a pissed off parent.

“I don’t know what you’re talking about,” I said looking anywhere but his eyes.

“I thought you’d learned by now that just because I get silly doesn’t mean I’m stupid Kat, and I’m certainly not hard of hearing. Now, what the FUCK was that about revenge!?”

“Revenge? What revenge? I don’t anything about any revenge,” I said with a nervous chuckle and slowly backing away. “I see nothing, I know nothing!” I said with my best Schultz voice. Unfortunately, his glare finally tore through my defenses and I burst on him. “Alright fine! You want to know why I wanted battle training? Well it’s because I plan on showing those two blasted princesses a thing or two about messing with me! There! YA HAPPY NOW!!”

I saw his fists clench. He was literally shaking with anger.

“What does ‘messing with me’ mean?” he asked. His voice, unlike his body, was calm and even. Somehow that made it even more terrifying, but I stood firm.

I returned his glare with full force. “Do you have any idea what it’s like to live my life? I have been through hell and back since I was eight! I have been listening to you moan and groan about the ‘hell’ your family put you through on your Earth, well boo-bucking-hoo! At least you had a family! Mine was taken from me by an idiot who thought it was good idea to go out driving after getting plastered! You have no idea what it’s like to constantly hear your loved ones screaming as they burn! But then, I end up in Equestria some ten odd years later, being dragged away from my friends and one who I considered a sister, only to end up with amazing powers, a talking cat, and surrounded by sentient creatures who fear me for just being me. It took me years to completely gain Celestia and Luna’s trust and even then they still were wary around me. Then after beating a certain lord of chaos, we started getting closer to the point where I actually considered them friends. But that wasn’t enough for them, no, they had to go and take me away from the one pony who needed me, my little Flitter, simply because I lost my cool on a bunch of murderers! And it still wasn’t enough! Oh no, they weren’t through bucking with my life, they went and tried to murder the one being who had been through all that hell with me simply because they wanted to take away my powers. And why? Because I was framed for crimes I didn’t commit. Then to top it all off, they go and seal me in stone when I retaliate for taking away my one true friend. Sure, I may have been trying to rip the planet apart in a psychotic rage, but they never should have forced my hand. And now that I’m free, I am going to make them pay by beating them to a bloody pulp. They will feel all the pain I have been put through physically, or die bucking trying!!”

We simply stood there for a moment. I was raring to go, ready for a shouting match, but instead he simply sighed.

“You stupid girl. You can’t see the truth right in front of you, can you?”

“W-What?”

“I’m not going to compare our past tragedies, our hardships before we came here, because that would be pointless. No heart is the same, and even the exact same thing happening to one may not be equal to another. But you don’t see what your revenge is turning you into, do you? What it’s taking you away from.”

“It’s not taking me away from anything! I have to do this! Those two have been messing with my life for far too long and it’s time they learned that I am not some pawn of theirs to do with as they please! So I am going to show them who is truly in charge of me and then I am going to find whatever is making the nevi and blast them into oblivion! I was once the most powerful being on the planet and I will be again, as long as my little Flutters and her friends are safe, I will prevail!”

“What is there to save them from you?”

I shook with anger. “Dusty!”

“And where is he now? Where is he in your world? Do you really think that whatever or whomever is keeping him from you will not put their effort in continuing to do so? And even if he does arrive, there are other ways to hurt your friends. Your granddaughter.”

Before I could answer he pulled out a diamond. My diamond.

“‘I am the protector of the innocent, warrior of the weak, call upon me for assistance and I shall come. Call for the Gravity Shifter and I will make those who harm others beg for mercy as they are crushed at my feet. Hold this gem close to thine heart and I shall be at your side as a fellow warrior.’” He looked from it back to me. “Those were the words you chose to embed into your token. Those words are what I thought to be your true feelings, your ultimate desires, the very ideals that make you what you are. I sensed your anger and your instability long ago, Kat, but those words were why I continued to teach you, because I believed when push came to shove you, like myself, would put aside whatever petty feelings you had for the sake of good.”

He looked back to the gemstone. “But perhaps,” he began before crushing it to dust. “I was wrong.”

I could feel my body begin to be pulled back to my original universe, but this time it wasn’t as forceful. I looked upon him, tears glistening in the corners of my eyes. “You weren’t wrong, Gilgamesh, but I can’t let this go. I thought they were my friends, almost like family, and they betrayed me; they stabbed me in the freakin’ back. I will never harm an innocent, but they are far from it.” I hung my head and bowed low to him. “Thank you for everything, Sensei Gilgamesh, I promise not to abuse what you have taught me.” I felt a few tears escape my eyes and fall to the ground. I stood and faced away from him, waiting for the portal to appear and send me away.

“Kat,” he called. I turned just in time to catch a small medallion he threw to me. It was roughly the size of my palm, brown and with an insignia of three wisps circling each other, the same design on his shield. “Celestia and Luna named me ‘Combat’ after I had been imprisoned, but I myself would’ve chosen the name ‘Freedom.’ It is what I didn’t have in my old life, and it is what I value most. But I’ve learned over the eons that true freedom means the freedom to make make bad decisions. That is why I will not stop you from pursuing this erroneous quest. Despite all that I’ve said, I still have hope for you. I choose not to sever my ties with you completely. If you need my help hold that medallion to your chest and call me, and I will respond. But only if you require my help to save the Princesses.”

I smiled at him through my tears. “I promise you Gilgamesh, once I have had my revenge, I will do everything I can to protect the ponies, including the princesses. I just need to get this out of my system and then everything will be right with the world. I know Dusty will reform soon, he told me so himself, and I will hold off our fight until then. So, until we meet again, Gilgy, thank you.”

I could see he was still sad, and tears began forming from his eyes, but he nodded all the same.

“Kat Shifter, I hereby declare our contract complete.”

And with those words a portal open and I felt myself being pulled away.


It had been no more than ten minutes since I sent Kat away, but even still the pain still burned in my heart. I sat by the river and meditated, thinking of the mantra that I tried to live my life by.

Be like water.
It is the softest element on earth, yet it penetrates the hardest rock.
It may flow swiftly or it may flow slowly, but its purpose is inexorable, its destiny sure.
Water may seem to move in contradiction, even uphill, but it chooses any way open to it so that it may reach the sea.
Be pliable.
When a man is living, he is soft and pliable.
When he is dead, he becomes rigid.
Pliability is life, rigidity is death, whether one speaks of man's body, his mind, or his spirit.
The meaning of life is that it is to be lived.
It is not to be squeezed into a pattern of systems.
Living exists when life lives through us.
Be like water.
Even though I, Gilgamesh, may die some day without fulfilling all of my ambitions, I will have no regrets.
I did what I wanted to do and what I've done, I've done with sincerity and to the best of my ability.
You can't expect much more form life.

I held still for a moment before I began to cry again.

So why do I still feel like shit?

Author's Note:

That's right folks, "The Mighty Warrior of Epicness" is not all laughs the whole time. Life has it's ups and downs, and so will Gilgamesh's story.

I'd like to thank DJSkywalker one more time for this crossover. It was really something else.

And now, I must prepare for another one. Yeah, maybe I put a bit too much on my plate.