• Published 12th Apr 2014
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The Mighty Warrior of Epicness - shinigamisparda



A cosplayer is sent to Equestria as his outfit, Gilgamesh from Final Fantasy. Let his epic quest for fights and fun begin!

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Initial Shifting

I cleared my throat before talking to the armored warrior.

“Uh, sorry about that. Are you ok?”

In response he leapt off the ground, spun several times in the air, and landed in front of me, standing tall with his chest puffed out.

“Fear not, fair maiden, for such an attack is but a paltry slap compared to what the Mighty Gilgamesh has faced!”

I raised my eyebrow. Was this guy serious? I really couldn’t tell. “Okaaay, well then, uh… who are you again?”

"What do you mean? I just told you."

“Yeah, sorry wasn’t really paying attention after being dragged through a freakin’ book!!”

"Wait, you got pulled in? Everyone else I've met had the luxury of going in themselves. Guess it doesn't work the same for everyone."

“Apparently. So again, who do I have the pleasure of addressing?”

"I'm sensing some hostility. Is there anything I could do to ease that frustration?"

I sighed. “Sorry, but I was in the middle of nap before coming here. If you really want to make it up to me, than you can help me rustle up some grub. I’m starving.”

"Gotcha. As for who I am, just give me a moment.”

Before I could react he used his spear to cut a hole in the air itself. Before I could even process that he grabbed my arm and threw me in before jumping in after me. He then cut open another hole in the strange dimension before pulling me out. It took me a second to register our new location as the Sister’s old abandoned castle, specifically the throne room. He picked me up and sat me down on Luna’s old throne before backflipping to the bottom of the stairs.

He took a deep breath before he began spinning his weapon in several directions.

“I AM THE MIGHTY RONIN OF THE MULTIVERSE, THE SEEKER OF BATTLE, THE WANDERER WHO FACES ANY FOE! MY FEATS, LEGENDARY! MY POWER, EARTH SHAKING! MY SKILL, AWE INSPIRING!” His voice boomed. He then kicked his weapon which bounced around the room until it headed back at him, which he stopped by jumping on top of. Now he was balancing on the edge of his blade with one foot before he began throwing out punches and kicks, even switching feet. “GAZE UPON MY MIGHTY FORM! THE STRENGTH TO CRUSH MOUNTAINS, THE SPEED TO OUTRUN THE WIND, THE GRACE OF THE GODS! BASK IN MY GLORY FOR YOU STAND BEFORE THE ONE! THE ONLY!” He then kicked his weapon at me, hitting the wall barely above my head before bouncing back to him, which he caught as he landed. He raised it above his head before shouting, “THE MIGHTY GILGAMESH!

“ARE YOU INSANE!? YOU COULD’VE-!” I stopped when I saw a tumbleweed blow by, despite being indoors. I pointed in the direction it blew and asked, “Was that a tumbleweed?”

“Yeah he comes and goes pretty much every time I make an over the top introduction. I’ve gotten used to him.”

I just stared for a moment before shaking my head. “You know, a headache and hunger are not a good combo. Can we at least rectify one of those? I haven’t eaten in over a day and I am exhausted from fighting monsters for the past twelve hours.”

"Ah, of course. Just wait here. By the way, I don't suppose you're vegetarian?"

I gave him a deadpan look. “I’m from Nebraska, what do you think?”

"Perfect! Finally someone I can share some meat with! Now off to-! Hold up a sec, you wouldn't happen to know anything about smoking meat? You know, jerky?"

I looked at him like he was an alien (technically he was, but… shut up!). “Do you not know how to make jerky?”

"With the life I lived before coming here, no I do not. That's what happens when you live a white-collar lifestyle with parents who think that manual labour is the kind of thing for 'those less fortunate.'" I saw him scowl at that memory. "And then of course there's the fact that once I got here everyone was too busy fighting me to learn anything."

“Uh huh,” I said slowly. “Well then, it’s a good thing you got me! I’m a military brat from the midwest, so I know what I’m doing. You may want to take notes.”

He squeed at that. Yes, he actually squeed, before shouting, "YES! TONIGHT I DINE ON CRAGODILE!" before dashing outside so quickly it left a puff of smoke.

I blinked twice. “Maybe I should reconsider some of the stuff I interact with,” I muttered, thinking of my dwindling sanity. Most of it was already gone, so it wasn’t that big of a deal, but it did let me interact with others normally. Maybe I should just shut off my sanity and embrace the crazy for as long as I’m here. I’ll get less questions when I return that way.

I started taking a nap only for a loud thud to wake me up after what felt like seconds later. I looked in front of me and flinched when I saw a dead cragodile. Right behind it was Gilgamesh, his eyes practically shining.

"COOKING LESSONS NOW!"

I blinked a couple of times, making sure I wasn’t still sleeping. “Wow, that was fast. Well, first thing we’re going to need is a teepee.”

He ran out again in a puff of smoke and came back less than a half minute later with a crude but still structurally sound teepee.

"How did-?"

"EXPLANATIONS LATER! COOKING NOW!"

I sighed. This was gonna be tiring. “Next is to pick out the right kind of wood. I prefer hickory, personally, but your world, your choice. While you do that, I’ll get to skinning our dinner and cutting it up.” I licked my lips in anticipation for the yummy dinner.

He ran out in another puff of smoke. As I got to work I swear I could hear trees falling to the ground. Thankfully, this time it took him longer to get back so I had finished my half of the job before he returned. Unfortunately, when he did, perfectly cut pieces of maple wood, what looked like about five trees worth, actually fell from the sky through a hole in the throne room. It took me a second to realize that after cutting them up he threw them back.

"WHAT NEXT!?"

"GAH!" I shouted, finding that he'd somehow managed to get behind me. “Stop scaring me! I’m old enough to have heart attack, you know? Anyway,” I reached over, tearing a hole in space and pulled out some fishing line and some hooks. I strung a few together and strung the freshly cut meat on them. “Now, we get the fire burning inside our smoker. We let that set for, oh, five to ten minutes, then we hang the meat inside. Some prefer to have it grill right over the fire, but this will be much better. Trust me. Oh, and make sure there’s a drip pan underneath the teepee!”

He once again disappeared and returned within seconds with a cauldron.

"WILL THIS WORK!?"

I shook my head. “Unh uh. Needs to be flat and able to take up the entire circumference of the inside of the smoker. Also, where did you get that?”

“Zecora had a spare,” he answered simply before disappearing again and returning with a large pie dish. “WHAT ABOUT THIS?”

“Yeah, that’ll work.” I took the pan from him and placed it inside the teepee. The inside was already nice and hot, perfect for cooking; the wood-burning was a comforting smell, brought back a lot of memories of camping with my family. With the pan in place, I began to string the meat close to the fire and stepped out, closing the flap and making sure that hole on top was letting out just the right amount of smoke. “Now for the hardest part: the waiting. Takes about two to three hours for the meat to cook. In about half that, we got to turn the meat around so the other sides get cooked thoroughly as well.” He nodded feverishly and we sat in silence. “So, what’s your story?” I asked, trying to find out a little more about my new ally.

“I, my knowledgeable companion, am Gilgamesh, currently in my base form as seen in Final Fantasy V. I arrived here in Equus 1600 years ago during the Great War, the battle between the Pony Kingdom, the Griffon Kingdom, and the Minotaur Tribes for supremacy. When I arrived I crushed all those who opposed me, even the Princesses of the Sun and Moon. My winning streak lasted for one hundred years before the three factions banded together to defeat me. The final battle lasted four days and reshaped the lands. In the end, I was impressed with their fighting spirit and their ability to put aside their differences and allowed myself to be defeated, the Princesses sealing me away in stone for 1500 years with the Elements of Harmony! Now I’m back for another glorious battle with the Princesses! Or rather, I would be if I wasn’t separated from my full power, my weapons, and if the Princesses hadn’t actually gotten weaker over the years. So yeah, that about covers it.”

I whistled appreciatively. “Dang, that’s some story. I myself, got teleported to Equestria during a war, as well. Roughly, oh how long ago was it? I think, just under thirteen hundred years ago, I got sent to Equestria after buying a plush cat from some creepy guy at a convention. When I woke up, I was in the middle of a forest, the cat had become real, and I was upside down. For the next year, Dusty, the cat, taught me the basics of controlling my new powers. After that, I rescued a bunch of sentient ponies from an attacking dragon, killing it in the process. I was then taken to meet the two princesses and they welcomed me into their home, so long as I swore to help them protect the ponies. I agreed, of course, and fought alongside them for the next couple centuries. The rest is a little personal, but I ended up getting sealed in stone by the Elements, too, and only woke up around a month ago.”

“Ah, so you were an ally of the Princesses? Rather impressive. The others I have met all have problems with the Princesses, or used to at least. But you say you were sealed by the Elements? I can only assume they used them on you?”

“Indeed. Looking back on it, it was probably for the best, even if they did rip me from the one pony who needed me, as well as lose a friend in the process.”

“I see. That’s a rather harsh fate. I will not pry if you do not wish me to,” he said, giving me a sympathetic pat on the shoulder. “I myself had no one to lose over my imprisonment, so it did not really affect me that much.”

“Well, at least now I know I’m not the only one to buck up their planet,” I chuckled at my dark joke.

“What do you- No, never mind, I promised not to pry. By the way, what character were you before you came to Equus? You seem familiar, but I can’t quite place you.”

“Ever play the PlayStation Vita? I dressed up as the main character from one of its exclusive games: Gravity Rush. Her name was Kat and I dressed up as her for that convention. Gravity control came with the costume.”

“Ah, that one! Unfortunately I was never able to get ahold of a Vita. Game looked good though. Although, I don’t remember her being dressed as you are. An alternate costume perhaps?”

“Nope, a Rarity original! My costume was torn to shreds after a fight with some nevi and after wearing and repairing it for two hundred and fifty years, I got sick of it. Even if it was cute, not really a good thing to punch things in. To this day, I never figured out how to run in heels. I hope the girls won’t be worried about me, my little Flutter gets so upset when she doesn’t know what’s going on.”

“So you are friends of the Elements? That’s great to hear! And ‘my little Flutter’? Well, she does have soul-melting levels of moe. If it makes you feel any better time seems to travel differently between our dimensions so there’s a chance it won’t be that long a time between having left and when you return. If you want I can send you back right after we eat. I kinda called you here just to have someone to hang out with, which is kinda feeling really selfish right now.”

I chuckled a little. “That’s why I was called here? Well, I’ve had worse company, a certain bug comes to mind, but if what you say is true, then I don’t mind sticking around. I was in the need of a little vacation. Three straight weeks of fighting monsters can really take it out of a girl. And one more thing, I don’t care if this is a different universe, if you have any intentions of hurting Fluttershy or doing anything to her, then you will be in space before you can even think ‘oops’.”

He scratched his head nervously. “Uh, well to be honest, I did kind of rough up her up once during my escape. I had to take the Elements of Harmony away from them so I could have a battle with Celestia. I knocked them all over with a shockwave, so she kinda went tumbling. I promise I have no further intentions of harming them. In fact, I’d really like to be able to be friends with them myself.”

I smiled after hearing that. “Then why don’t we help each other out?”

“What do you mean? Oh, also, is the food ready?” he asked. Looking closely I noticed some drool seemed to be leaking from behind his faceguard. “That smell is driving me insane.”

“Boys,” I said with a smile and shake of my head. I got up and checked, flipped the meat around and returned to my spot. “Another hour or so and we’ll have some good ol’ fashion meat. And what I mean is, that I think we could help each other. I have gotten to know my friends quite well over these past few weeks, and I think I know my granddaughter quite well, so I can help you on that front here. What I need from you is battle training. The nevi of my world are getting worse and I have never had any formal training in the art of combat. I think it’s a fair trade, plus now you know how to smoke some meat!”

“So, combat training? Hm. I’ve never actually taught anyone else how to fight before. Then again, I did promise Auric that I’d help whip Celestia and Luna into shape once I finally gained their trust, so this might be good practice.”

If I was drinking something, I would have surely done a spit-take. “Auric?! You met Auric Fulcrum?!”

“Oh you know him too? Yup, gave him a hand with the followers of some pompous asshole calling himself ‘Omega.’ He’s a great guy, right?”

“I found him to be more of a know-it-all. He told me I was living in some TV show from the eighties! You believe that?”

I expected him to laugh but instead he looked at me with an “are you kidding me” look.

“Oh no way,” I muttered.

“I hate to say this, but he was right. 'My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic' came out in 2010 and is probably the most popular show centered around girls made for children since the 'Powerpuff Girls'. In fact, I was a pretty big fan myself.”

“B-but how?! I never heard anything about that! That show was owned by Hasbro! Hasbro doesn’t exist anymore!!”

“It does in my home dimension. Interesting. So it seems you’re not from the same Earth that I am. I had kind of assumed that all the Displaced were from the same Earth. I don’t suppose John McCain beat Barack Obama in your timeline?”

I gave him another deadpan stare. “I wish. But let’s not get political over two guys who are probably dead. Buckin’ multiverse. I hate to think what else Auric told me was true.”

“Like what?”

“Changelings invading Canterlot during some wedding that’s coming up. Pshh, like that’ll happen. NOT!!”

He paused for a moment before nervously clearing his throat, but I interrupted him. “I know what you're going to say, so just stop right there. I already had that debate with Auric, but it just isn’t going to happen on my world. Not when I exterminated the entire changeling race over a thousand years ago. Even became famously known as the Trottingham Massacre. I showed those bugs that you don’t mess with family.”

“Uh… wow. And you want my help with learning how to fight? Look, I know you probably think they’re all gone, but there are certain events that seem to happen in every dimension no matter what, and the Changeling Invasion is one of them. Just don’t assume anything until after it happens, ok?”

“Well, the only way they could be any threat is if the one changeling that survived still harbored hatred towards ponies. I’m pretty sure I instilled a good enough fear in her, though, that she’d never try something that her mother did. I am sincerely hoping for that, too. Don’t know how it works in other worlds, but in mine, changelings were the inspiration for vamponies.”

“'Vamponies', huh? Honestly I don’t know about pony culture outside of what I saw on the show. Too busy fighting. I guess that’s what happens when every race in the world fears you, even the dragons. Though, now that I think about it, I never fought a changeling before. Guess they stayed out of the war.”

I shuddered, thinking back to what those bugs were doing to the ponies. “Well, changelings in my world drain love the same way vampires or vamponies drain blood. And it is not as clean as the movies make it. More like how zombies do it. So you can see how I got a little aggressive when they went after my daughter.”

“I’ve been meaning to ask about that. You said daughter? I’m assuming surrogate?”

I nodded. “A little orphan filly I found on the streets of Trottingham. Her name was Flitterbee and I loved her like my own. Unfortunately, we were separated after the Massacre because I was deemed too unstable by Celestia and Luna. Ten years later, I was sealed in stone for a thousand years. Though, I did find out what happened to her and I couldn’t be more proud of her descendant.”

“Fluttershy?” I nodded. “I assumed, what with you having called her ‘my little Flutter.’” I saw him chuckle. “I can’t wait until finally make friends with them, she just makes you want to cuddle her, doesn’t she?”

I smiled. “Been there, done that, and still haven’t had enough. And to answer your earlier question: yes, I need you to teach me how to fight. The only reason I did as much damage as I did was because I lost control of my power after learning a new skill. It was my black hole attack, if you were wondering. I know how to use my power, but that’s it! I need to know how to defend myself, especially if I want to fully utilize my weapons!”

“Hm. Well, I don’t think I’ll be able to help you control your powers, but if you’re looking to be getting better with melee combat so you won’t have to rely on them so much, that I can do. Just a warning, I’m more self taught with some formal training, so I’m mostly a teacher of three schools of martial arts. The first is instinct, and the second is mimicking moves from video games and movies.”

I chuckled at that. “And the third?”

“The oldest one there is,” he answered. Before I could ask what he meant he sent out a punch faster than I could blink and stopped right in front of my face. The force was great enough that it felt like I was getting hit with a gust of wind. “The school of hard knocks. Hope you can take it as well as you can dish it out.”

I stared at him wide eyed and gulped. “And this is why I carry a shield,” I muttered, only just loud enough to be heard.

“And it’ll be getting plenty of use, I assure you. But on to a lighter topic. Even if you’re friends with the Elements I’m assuming you don’t get along completely with the Princesses?”

I hid a grimace the best I could. “It could be better, but I have a plan in the works. It involves killing a lot of monsters, a couple of dragons, and an old friend. Let’s leave it at that.”

He gave me a questioning look before shrugging. “Well, how do you feel about a bit of trolling?” he asked. I could practically see his eyes smirking by themselves.

“Sounds like fun. Maybe it’ll bring back some memories I had with Celestia and Luna. Oh, and before we continue, I have one thing to say to you.”

“Mm hm?”

I smiled brightly and teleported. I came back a second later, holding a massive plate of smoked meat. “Food's done!”

“THEN LET US FEAST UPON THIS BEAST, MY GRAVITY-ALTERING COMPANION!”

“Oh, almost forgot!” I teleported again and returned with the drip pan. “Can’t forget the dipping sauce! Nothing better than dipping smoked meat into smoked meat juice. It’ll turn even the Princesses into carnivores!” I set the food down in front of us and watched as Gilgamesh started chowing down. I laughed slightly before taking a few pieces myself. “Boys.”


After eating up I told Kat about my plan to crash the Hearth’s Warming play in a couple months. Though she felt a bit bad about messing up the holiday, she eased up when I changed my plan to popping up onstage after the play had finished. I was also pleased to find out she had some experience playing the guitar, which would definitely help me out.

I introduced her to Zecora the next day, who of course was more than accepting of her, though I do think her rhyming did get a bit on Kat’s nerves. After we picked up some berries and some tea I cut open a portal to Octavia and Vinyl’s house. We both jumped in, startling the ponies. Before they could ask any questions I explained.

“Hey girls, this is Kat Shifter, she’s gonna be showing up and practicing with me. And before you ask me Vinyl, no she isn’t my girlfriend. Marefriend, whatever.”

“Right, so-”

“Although I am working on it.”

“What!?”

“Just kidding.”

Kat punched me in the arm. "Good, because I don’t date boys. I date men only.”

“Excuse me? What about this muscular form doesn’t say ‘man’?” I asked indignantly.

“Say the word ‘Bangkok’ without giggling both outwardly or inwardly,” she dared.

“Bangkok,” I said completely straight. Three seconds later I snorted. “Damn it!”

“Exactly. So, no, you don’t have a shot. I also don’t date my teachers. If I did, I would already be going steady with the Makuta.”

“Who?”

“Seriously? Did you not watch Bionicle? What kind of kid never watched that?! It was the shit growing up!”

“Wait, are you seriously telling me one of the Displaced is a freaking LEGO? I weep for him.”

“Actually, he’s entirely made out of metal. Watch out for a stone with strange writing on it. That’s his call sign, and he’s evil. Like plotting and deviously evil. Though, he’s quite the gentleman.”

“Intelligent villains usually are.”

“Um?”

We both turned to Vinyl and Octavia who were looking at us with completely befuddled looks on their faces.

“Oh, right. Sorry. Um, girls, why don’t you introduce yourselves while I go and record a few songs for you in the recording room.”

“Wait, what?” Kat asked.

“Oh, one of the other Displaced, Xante, gave me a spell that allows me to basically be a living iPod. These two are allowing me to come here, as well as letting me borrow the instruments I need, in exchange for songs from our dimension.”

“Well, that’s… something,” she said with a bewildered look.

“So yeah, you three talk, I’m gonna do some recording.”

I grabbed the the voice recorder and some cassettes and entered the recording room. I decided to go for the classical music first, as that would take more time, and I already knew what to give Octavia next. I began playing the Antonio Vivaldi’s The Four Seasons, specifically the Spring part and more specifically the first movement, Allegro.

As it played I closed my eyes and let my mind wander, specifically to my latest acquaintance. Kat was pretty fun, and I was having a good time having banter back and forth with her. But as enjoyable as it was to be around her I couldn’t help but feel a bit concerned. She seemed to be carrying a lot of baggage, and unlike me it wasn’t all from her previous life. Sure she was friends with the Elements and seemed to think of Fluttershy like family, but some of the things she said made me wonder whether or not she was all there, and quite frankly I was afraid that with the proper amount of stimulus she might do something that she might regret, and that others might not live to regret.

I’ll probably teach her how to stay calm even under extreme situations, as well as a heavy amount of meditation. The more I can get her to rely on melee combat, the better. She seems like she wants to be good so I think it won’t be too hard.

As I started recording the Largo e pianissimo sempre movement of Spring my mind wandered to a certain other Displaced. Nemesis was all alone, fighting against an enemy that had over one thousand years to root itself in his world, and with the ultimate force for good thinking he was the evil one. He probably had it rough. I wished there was more I could do for him, but aside from abandoning my own dimension there wasn’t much.

Wait minute...

As soon as the second movement finished I exited the room, finding them all talking while sharing some berries.

“Hey ladies, can I ask another favor?”

“What kind of favor?” Octavia asked.

“I’ve got a friend I want to send a song to, so I’ll need a tape recorder to send it to him.”

“So you want us to buy a tape recorder, just so you can send it to someone else?” she asked, a bit upset. “They aren’t cheap, you know.”

“I’ll make it worth your while. Four extra songs next time I show up.”

“Well hay, that sounds-!”

Octavia cleared her throat and gave her a look. Vinyl took a minute to read her before nodding.

“You’re gonna have to do a little better than that,” the unicorn said with a smirk.

“Ok then, six.”

She kept quiet.

“Eight?”

She yawned.

“Grr. Fine, ten, final offer!”

“Done.”

“Twist my arm, why don’t you?” I muttered as I entered back into the recording room, hearing them giggle before I closed the soundproof door. I recorded the final movement of Spring, the Allegro pastorale and throwing in another favorite of mine, Bach’s Toccata and Fugue in D minor. Again, I’m a sucker for a good organ piece.

I handed Octavia the cassettes and the cassette player before calling Kat to follow me into the other room.

“Hey, what about mine!?” Vinyl asked.

“You’ll get them before I leave. Besides I’m somewhat irked with you right now.”

She huffed and folded her forelegs as Kat and I entered the living room and found the two guitars and the upright bass.

“So, what are we doing?”

“Well,” I began, picking up the guitar, “You are going to help me learn to play the guitar, Octavia is going to help me learn to play the bass, and I am going to help you learn to play your part of the song we’re going to play when we show up at Hearth’s Warming in Canterlot. If it works as planned, the audience will stay around to hear us finish, Celly and Lulu will show up, I’ll say something that will piss at least one of them off, we have fun running from them, and hopefully Celestia will get an aneurism every time I play that song, or a version of it. How’s that sound?”

“Sounds like we got some work to do, so let’s get to it so we can get to the important stuff.”

“Indeed.”


“Heh heh. I’ve got your number now,” the octopus muttered, looking through the window. “And what a pretty cutie he has with him! I can’t wait to get my tentacles around her.”

“Around who?”

“That one there with the… wait.”

Ultros turned to see a grey pegasus with yellow wandering eyes.

“Who are you?”

“I’m Derpy Hooves!”

“Derpy Hooves huh? Um, you wouldn’t happen to know where Canterlot is, would you?”

“It’s right there,” she answered, pointing to the castle on the mountain in the distance.

“Thanks, now, TIME TO INK AND RUN!” he shouted before unleashing a cloud of mist and running off.


“Ok then, first I’d like to get a feel for how you fight.”

I nodded and powered up. He had taken us to a river in the Everfree Forest. The trees gave us a lot of cover, but still clear enough near the bank so that things wouldn’t get in the way. “This how I usually fight,” I said and took off into the sky. A few moments later, I came crashing in with a powerful gravity kick, demolishing a fairly large boulder and leaving a small crater in the ground in the process. “What do you think of that?”

“Well, you certainly have power, but that attack was painfully readable. Not to mention it revolved quite a bit around your powers. I’m guessing you haven’t fought many enemies with intelligence, and when you do you rely mostly on your powers.”

“Well, not entirely true, but my powers have always been my edge. Dragons, minotaurs, griffons, and changelings all were easily taken down by just using my gravity shifts. These nevi are completely different as they harness similar powers. Also, what part of lacking any real fighting training did you not hear?”

“Yeah, yeah, I get ya. So, how long do those powers last? I kinda doubt you can even hover indefinitely.”

“Originally, only about five minutes. After centuries of training, however, they last for as long as I have stamina.”

“Hm. In that case I would guess mobility would be your greatest asset. Let’s see how much. I’m gonna come at you with powerful but readable strikes.” He raised his arms intimidatingly. “Ready?”

Expecting a lot of pain coming my way, I quickly pulled my shield out and slid it onto my arm, just in case. “Ready,” I said, unconvincingly, not that Gilgy noticed. It didn’t help when he started blaring a song to set the fight to.

He came with a wide haymaker which I ducked under, followed by an overhead punch which I hopped back from. He easily read it and kicked at me with a thrust kick which I barely managed to block with my shield, the force enough to send me flying. Before I even stopped he lunged at me, ready to tackle me to the ground. Not knowing what to do exactly, I pulled out the bo staff as I flew, causing it to extend to its full five-foot length. I jabbed it into the ground, stopping me just in time to get bowled over by a crazy moron in a suit of armor, a.k.a. Gilgamesh.

He grabbed me by my shoulders and forced me to the ground before slamming his forehead into my face. Before I could even recover from that blow he lifted me up and threw me into a tree, winding me as I hit back first. He then grabbed my arm and threw me to the ground before raising his fist again, ready to bring it down on my head.

“Woah, woah, woah! What are you doing?! I may have some invulnerability, but not enough to survive that kind of punch to the head!” I instinctively teleported out of his grip and right behind him, giving a nice slap to the back of his head. “I get that we’re training and all, but even the griffons knew how to treat a lady!”

“And that’s your first lesson,” he stated simply before backhanding me in the face, causing me to stumble back and hold my nose. Thankfully, he stopped right after that. “If you want to win a fight, a real fight, one without rules, then you’ve got to be in the right mindset.” He turned around to face me. “The moment this fight started, even if it is a sparring match, you stopped being a woman. You stopped being Kat Shifter, you stopped being a Displaced. Your age, even your species, became irrelevant. All that matters is what will affect the fight. Everything from your height, your twitches, your habits, even your emotional disposition, those are things that matter.”

I sighed in defeat. He was right, of course. I guess I gave Gilgamesh too little credit, he truly was the master of his craft and I needed to take that into account. I summoned my staff back to me and took a ready stance. I put on a look of determination and said, “Alright then, Sensei. Let’s try that again.”

He chuckled. “‘Sensei.’ I never thought anyone would call me that before.” He readied himself again. “Let’s go then.”


Two months passed. Kat and I trained in both the martial and musical arts. She learned quickly, but it seemed she still had some trouble breaking habits and had a tendency to try and take down her enemies in single, powerful blows. Still, she was getting better.

On my end, I had finally gotten good enough at the guitar and the bass to perform the song I wanted. Kat was pretty good herself, not to mention a good teacher. Octavia had some trouble with me, as I found it difficult to adjust my pressure on the strings properly, but I eventually got the hang of it. The next hurdle was learning to play the guitar and the bass at the same time, but I eventually overcame that too. I still remember the shocked faces on the girls when I did my first transformation, giving me the limbs needed to perform the feat.

At the moment we were waiting outside the building, watching the play near its final act. We both chuckled at Spike’s outfit again, it really was just that ridiculous.

“The three leaders agreed to share the beautiful land, and live in harmony ever afterwards. And together, they named their new land…”

“Equestria!” the mane six shouted. The crowd cheered in response.

“That’s our cue. You ready?” I asked, grabbing the guitar, the bass, and my naginata in separate hands.

Kat hefted her guitar in her hands. “As ready as I’ll ever be, but remember, after this, we work on getting you some ‘elemental’ friends.”

“Of course. I’ll be honest though, I already had plans even before you showed up. Anyway,” I cut wide hole in the air before we both stepped through.


The crowd cheered as Ultros growled from his position up in the rafters.

Ugh, where are they?! They said they’d be here!

Just then a hole opened and both of the humans exited right on stage. All the ponies stopped dead and remained quiet, looking on in both fear and confusion.

“Wassup?” the armored one said. Before any of them could act they began to play.

Yes, now to get back at that muscle head and take the honey!

The octopus pushed on the weight he hauled up to the rafters, groaning with effort.

GAH! NO! I CHOSE ONE THAT WAS TOO HEAVY AGAIN!

Before he managed to push the whole thing off the song had finished. The crowd was still confused but some were stomping their hooves nervously in approval.

Just then a whole group of armored ponies, not to mention two really big ones, burst in.

“Gilgamesh!” the tall white one shouted.

“‘Sup, Celly? And Lulu, didn’t expect to see you up at this hour!”

“What are you doing here!?”

“What? I wanted to put on a show? Is that so wrong?”

Wow, those two are pretty too! NO! NO DISTRACTIONS! GET READY TO BE CRUSHED!

He finally managed to push the five ton weight off the rafters. It headed towards the muscled warrior… and crashed on the floor right next to him.

“NOOO! GRAAAGH!” He screamed. In his rage he lost his footing and fell over onto the stage. Everything stared at him in shock and confusion. There was at least a minute wait before the octopus broke the silence. “BEHOLD! I AM ULTROS! GIVE ME ALL YOUR CUTIES!”


Okay, I have seen some weird shit in my days, but a giant octopus falling from the ceiling and shouting ‘give me all your cuties’ takes the cake right from ol’ Cellie’s mouth! I turned to my ‘teacher’ with a look of bewilderment. “Friend of yours?”

“Oh yeah, we get along swimmingly. Like matches and gasoline,” he answered with an exasperated voice.

“You there! Come over here, you pretty little thing,” he ordered me with a glint in his eyes. He even seemed to let loose a perverted snort, despite not having any nostrils I could see.

I shuddered involuntarily. “Okay, what’s his deal?” I whispered to Gilgy.

“He’s a comic relief villain from a japanese RPG who has tentacles, what do you think?”

My eyes widened as I turned to writhing creature before me. “OH HELL NO!! Sorry, bub, but I ain’t on your menu!” I yelled at the octopus.

“What is this foul creature!?” Luna demanded with disgust.

Ultros (I guess that was his name) turned to face her. “Hey now! You may be pretty yourself, but watch your mouth! You’re talking to octopus royalty here!”

“Kat, want to test how strong your kicks have gotten over the past two months?” Gilgy asked.

“Hmm,” I mumbled with a finger tapping my chin, looking over Ultros. “Hmm, what do you think teach? Should I go overboard or just enough?”

“Does ‘he’s blasting off again’ answer your question?” he asked with a smirk.

I smirked in kind and covered myself in aura. He gave me a look, but I shook my head. “It’’s just for the fact it looks cool.” The octopus looked at me confused. “You’re not the only one who’s royalty, pervert! You’re dealing with the Gravity Queen now!” I charged forward, ducking under a few tentacles and punting him squarely in his fangs. I didn’t think I would have enough to send him far enough so I decided to shift his gravitational direction in an upward slant. Temporary, of course, might last about ten seconds or so, just enough for him to hit the atmosphere and then come plummeting back down. With a smug smile, I watched him go flying, even smashing through the roof.

“NOT AGAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAIN!”

I watched for a moment and I swear I could actually see the twinkle.

“Wow, and without doing a gravity kick either. Impressive,” Gilgamesh complemented.

“W-Who are you?” Celestia asked, trying to remain intimidating despite her utter confusion as to what was going on.

I couldn’t bring myself to turn around and look at Celestia, knowing that I still wasn’t quite mentally prepared for it. “Oh, just a traveler visiting from another world. You know, same old, same old.”

“Another what?” she asked, sounding completely shocked.

“Not important. Hey Kat, time for your next bit of training!” Gilgy interrupted.

“Wait, what?”

“Hey Tia, I thought after last time you’d be trying to take the cake weight off.”

After a moment he began blaring another song before smashing through a nearby wall.

“TIME TO TEST YOUR STAMINA AND REFLEXES!” he shouted, running off.

“Wait! What do you-!?” I called only for a feeling of intense heat to catch my attention. I looked towards the crowd and saw Celestia, burning up in an aura of fire, gritting her teeth in rage. My eyes widened to dinner plates. “I KNOW NOTHING!!!” With that, I scrammed as fast I possibly, freakin’ could!!


Octavia finally finished transcribing the final measure of the final movement of the “Winter” part of the Four Seasons.

Such a wonderful piece. I guess Vinyl’s gamble really did pay off.

She took another sip of orange juice as Vinyl burst in with a newspaper.

“Tavi! Look at this!”

“Hm?”

The earth pony saw the headline and immediately did a spit-take.

HEARTH’S WARMING RAMPAGE
CELESTIA HEATS THINGS UP DUE TO INSTIGATORS

The image showed their two recent guests sprinting through the streets of Canterlot as a massive ball of flame followed, firing beams at them.

“I guess that would explain this,” the unicorn added, levitating in the three instruments covered in soot.

Author's Note:

I'm going to stop counting favorites and likes now. I don't think I need to keep telling you you're awesome, it should be obvious now.

So yeah, Kat and Gilgy are gonna be having two chapters together. Hope you like this one, 'cause the next one probably won't come out for a while. Me and DJSkywalker hit a great run our first night which is why it came out so quickly. Probably won't be more than a week though.

Oh, and if you're wondering what Gilgy sent Nemmy, you'll have to read I Will Hunt You Down. The chapter where he gets the message isn't out yet, but as I understand it it will show up in the next one.

Anyway, for now, bed time. Goodnight!