• Published 12th Apr 2014
  • 24,660 Views, 1,340 Comments

The Mighty Warrior of Epicness - shinigamisparda

A cosplayer is sent to Equestria as his outfit, Gilgamesh from Final Fantasy. Let his epic quest for fights and fun begin!

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Behold My Power!

“We are gathered here today to once again honor the heroism of these six friends, who stood up to the villain Discord and saved Equestria from eternal chaos!”

The ponies cheered in response. With a bit of dramatic timing the Princess of the Sun waited before revealing the latest stained glass window of her student and her friends’ defeat of Discord. Once again the ponies erupted in cheers, and Twilight and her companions responded graciously yet humbly to the applause. However, something caught their eye, a certain blue alicorn in the doorway.

“Luna, I didn’t expect you to be up!” the Solar diarch said while trotting over. “What’s the occasion?”

The Lunar Princess took a quick glance at the other ponies in the room, staring at her with a mix of awe and fear, before responding.

“We must discuss this matter in private, dear sister. Would thou follow Us, please?” she whispered.

Celestia’s expression changed to one of confusion and nervousness before nodding and following her younger sibling out into the hall. After a few twists and turns, they stopped.

“What’s wrong Luna? You seem flustered.”

“’Flustered!?’ We are not flustered! There was no occasion to be for Us to be flustered! Certainly no unwanted forwardness was enacted upon-“

Luna cut herself off as a blush formed on her face. She quickly shook it away.

“Never mind. Forget what We said. We come to inform thou, dear sister, of the return of a great threat to our lands.”

Celestia smiled gently. “Luna, it’s been resolved. Discord was sealed away by Twilight Sparkle and her friends. That’s what the ceremony was-“

“Apologies for interrupting, dear sister, but it is not the draconequus We speak of. An older threat has returned, and with him We fear the flames of war may be stoked upon Equestria.”

“’War?’” Celestia asked. “You can’t possibly mean-!”

“Indeed We do sister. And worse, We must confess that in Our slumber he was able to retrieve his weapon from Our chambers. We are deeply ashamed.” Luna apologized, her ears drooping as she hung her head.

“Why wasn’t I informed of this?”

“We spoke with Captain Shining Armor. It was thought that he was merely a machination of Discord’s, a result of his magic and tomfoolery, and as such was not taken seriously as the threat he is.”

Celestia couldn’t respond, forced to remember the past, as well as the possible ramifications of the future.

“Dear sister. There is only one way to bring about his swift defeat. We know that they have already come from such a harsh trial, but-“

“No, I know. It is the only way. But I feel we way may need to provide them support as well,” Celestia said as her gaze hardened.

“Sister! Doth thou truly mean-?”

“Indeed. Prepare for battle, Luna. Who knows what kind of horrors he’s spreading as we speak.”



I rolled on the ground, squeeing in fanboyish glee as I realized what I had just done. I did it just for fun, something to get a reaction out of her, but it was only later that I realized I had just stolen a kiss from one of the most untouchable and sought after ponies in the world. One that, admittedly, I had had a fanboy crush on back in my home dimension. She was powerful, in magic, strength, poise, and personality, and yet had those adorable moments of weakness. And to top it all off she was elegant as all get out, and let’s not even mention that color scheme. I know back home the whole “would you do it?” thing was inescapable on the internet, and lets not even mention Rule 34, but for the most part I was on the conservative side of things. I had no interest in anything non-human, or at least non-humanoid, except for her.

But hey, it’s not like things were going to go anywhere. Just a bit of harmless fun.

And besides, there’s something I want from her even more than a kiss.

I smirked as I sat up and gripped my weapon tighter.

Since you’re big now, I wonder if you’ll put up as good a fight as your sister will?

“You gotta be kidding me!” Rainbow Dash shouted. “We just dealt with Discord and now we’ve got another crisis on our hooves!? How does everything go to Tartarus so fast!?”

“Rainbow, watch your language!” Rarity snapped.

Twilight was still trying to process what was happening. Not only did another ancient evil being get unleashed, but the two Princesses now stood before her in full battle armor, dressed in more elegant versions of what the Solar and Luna guards wore. What shocked, and quite frankly frightened, her most was that they were both armed. Celestia, her gentle and soft-spoken mentor, had a massive zweihander sheathed in its scabbard and tied to her right, while a warhammer hung at her left. Luna had a gladius strapped to either side of her armor while she casually held a halberd with her left hoof.

“Calm down you two, Ah think we should really hear this!” Applejack interrupted, breaking up the fight.

“R-Right. Princess Celestia, Princess Luna, please tell us what we should be expecting,” Twilight asked, recovering and grabbing her friends’ attention.

“He is regarded as the avatar of Combat itself,” Celestia began. “He is a fierce warrior who thrived more than one thousand years ago during the age of war in the world of Equus. He was given many names, but he identified himself as Gilgamesh.”

“Hee hee, that’s a funny name!” Pinkie Pie quipped.

“Gilgamesh’s power rivals even that of our own,” said Luna, picking up the conversation and ignoring Pinkie’s comment. “He was feared by all races, even the dragons, as a warrior of great power and fervor. He lived for the sake of combat, always seeking out foes to test his mettle against, whether they be individual champions or entire armies. We ourselves faced him several times, and twas only in our final encounter that we were able to best him with the assistance of our own forces as well as those of the Griffon Kingdom and the Minotaur Nomads.”

“Though he has impressive magical power, spells that have never seen use aside from him, his main strength lies in his physical prowess," Celestia added. "He prefers melee combat and has considerable speed and strength. He can outrun some of the fastest pegasi, and can leap entire buildings or cover the length of entire hoofball fields in a single bound. And in his strongest form, a single swipe from his blade can be enough to level a small castle. He is not an enemy to be trifled with.”

The six mares stared in shock at these claims. It sounded like something a foal would make up. And yet they could see, judging by the expressions on their faces, the Princesses meant every word of it.

“Wait, did you say ‘strongest form’?” Twilight asked, recovering from her shock.

“Yes. He has the ability to transform into greater and more formidable forms, with more weapons and more arms to wield them. He does not have many, but each are an enormous change to his prowess,” Luna explained.

“Land sakes. Just how’re we supposed ta beat a feller like that?” Applejack asked.

“The same way you defeated Discord and Nightmare Moon. Despite his power he is still vulnerable to the Elements of Harmony,” Celestia explained, levitating the chest with the six jeweled accessories in to them.

“If that’s the case, why are you dressed up like that?” Rainbow asked.

“Because you may need our help. As we said, Gilgamesh is a warrior, not a trickster like Discord. He will attack you when he sees the Elements, and his speed will likely make him a difficult to target. We may need to be there to weaken him so you can use them on him.”

Twilight took in a sharp breath and exhaled before opening the chest and levitating all six of the Elements to their users.

“Don’t worry, your majesties. We won’t let you down!”

“Thank you Twilight,” Celestia said with a small smile that quickly left her face. “Unfortunately, since he left the palace, nopony has seen any trace of him. Though I hate to do this, I’m going to have to ask you to search the city away from us. It’s imperative that we find him as soon as possible, so you six will head off towards the south end of the city to see if you can find him, while Luna and I split up and search the rest of the city. If you find him, use the Elements on him immediately and don’t give him a chance to retaliate. If he proves troublesome we will come as soon as we can. Good luck, my little ponies. I hope you don’t need it.”

I had waited about half an hour when I felt the presence of six powerful magics nearby. I had spent quite a bit of time thinking on how to handle this, and decided to put it all on the line. With a jump I gracefully soared over three buildings before landing a few yards away from the group of six mares. They all stood in shock before recovering, some quicker than others. Twilight looked about ready to command them when I waved and interrupted her.

“Hail and fair met, young equine maidens! Might I be correct in assuming that thou art the bearers of the Elements of Harmony?”

They looked shocked, clearly not expecting me to greet them like that. Twilight nodded.

“Then I bid thee good day, noble envoys of Princess Celestia! Though ye may already have been informed, I feel it only proper to introduce myself!” I began to twirl my naginata as I began the hammiest introduction I could. “I am the great warrior who seeks those who may provide me with challenge! Master of weapons, I travel these lands seeking adventure!” I threw my weapon into the air as I unleashed a flurry of punches and kicks in all directions. “Gaze upon my dashing form with awe, for my magnificence and grace will no doubt warm thy soul and be the highlight of thy lives! For I! AM!” I caught my weapon as it fell back to me. With a quick twirl I held it behind me as I took several short hops on one foot before planting them both. I extended my arm before rolling my head three times. “GILGAMESH!"

None of them said a word. I could hear the wind blowing. I swear I saw a tumbleweed go by.

“Wow. An Ah thought you were dramatic, Rarity,” Applejack commented, being met with a glare and a huff in response.

I stood tall and dropped my over the top pose.

“Now that I have introduced myself, I feel it is only proper that you would do the same. Please, honor me with thy name and occupation!”

I of course knew who they all were, but I didn’t want to raise questions about having knowledge of things I wasn’t supposed to know. Also, it was fun and I didn’t want to break character. Rainbow Dash was the first to respond, her pride swelling.

“I’m Rainbow Dash, fastest flyer in Equestia!”

“He said ‘occupation’, dear. She is a weather pony and I am the curator of one Carousel Boutique, fashioner of only the most elegant and fabulous garments. You may call me Rarity, or Miss Rarity if you prefer.”

“Hi! I’m Pinkie Pie! I work at Sugarcube Corner with Mr. and Mrs. Cake and I help sell and make cakes and cupcakes and doughnuts and all other kinds of baked goods! I also like throwing parties for new ponies! And for birthdays! And anniversaries! And parties for the sake of having parties!”

“Uh, right. Well, Ah’m Applejack an Ah help run Sweet Apple Acres down in Ponyville.”

“I am Twilight Sparkle, librarian and personal student to Princess Celestia.”

“Um… I’m Fluttershy and, um… I take care of animals.”

“Pardon me, fair maiden most demure and adorable, but I’m afraid I did not quite catch that. If thou could speak just a bit louder,” I said as I took a step forward and cupped my hand around my helmet where my ear would be. I had to look elsewhere when I saw the blush appear across her face.


“Um… I’m Fluttershy and I take care of animals.”

“Once more, if thou please,” I asked again, leaning in closer.

“Ugh. Her name is-“

“I DON’T REMEMBER ASKING YOU A GOD DAMNED THING!” I shouted, cutting off the rainbow-maned pegasus by standing tall and letting loose with my best Samuel L. Jackson impersonation.

God, I’ve always wanted to use that line.

After a second or two of waiting, and ignoring the shocked stares I was receiving, I resumed my previous position.

“Go ahead, fair maiden.”

“I… I’mFluttershyandItakecareofanimals!” she squeaked before hiding behind her friends.

I immediately stepped back to my upright and magnificent position.

“So, to ensure I have me no mistakes, thou art athlete Rainbow Dash, seamstress Rarity, baker and festivity planner Pinkie Pie, farmer Applejack, scholar Twilight Sparkle, and animal caretaker Fluttershy.” Of course, I got no corrections. “I must admit, I am not sure whether to be insulted or impressed.”

I got a myriad of responses from that, from confused to upset.

“On the one hand, Princess Celestia sends to stop me not warriors but a mere ragtag group of citizens. On the other, despite your lack of combat training you still stand against me without hesitation, and from what I understand, have done so before against other opponents. I applaud thy bravery and fortitude!”

And, of course, I did exactly as I said, holding my weapon with my elbow as I clapped my hands. Their confusion was palpable. I don’t know what Celestia told them, but clearly she forgot to mention my theatrics.

“It is a shame that I must come to blows against such brave opponents, but as the Rolling Stones say ‘You can’t always get what you want.’ And so we must do battle.” I gripped my naginata as I held it behind me.

Oh, I have been waiting to say this.

“Enough expository banter! Now we fight like me- no, wait, hold on. Not ‘like men.’ Is it colts or-? Ah, that’s it! Now we fight like stallions!” I took another pose. “And mares!” I took another stance and pointed my spear at Rainbow. “And mares who act like stallions!”


Sorry Rainbow, but it was just too easy.

“For Gilgamesh, IT’S BATTLE TIME!

I began by spinning my weapon at blinding speeds, alternating between spinning it on the left and right sides, as the six mares tensed. They held their ground, waiting to see what my next move would be. Ten seconds passed. Twenty seconds. Thirty.

“Um, is he actually gonna do any-?”


I slammed my blade onto the ground, cutting off the orange mare with a shockwave that sent them all flying and kicking up dirt and debris. Rainbow was the first to recover, stopping herself mid-air, coughing as she hovered, leaving her wide open.

“BANZAI!” I shouted as I leapt up and tackled her. Before we hit the ground I grasped one of her hind legs and used my forward momentum to slam her into the ground. I felt a bit bad about it, but considering what she inflicted upon herself in the show it probably wouldn’t be too bad.

I quickly removed the Element of Loyalty from her neck and sprinted towards the others, quickly doing the same. I sprinted over to a fruit stand and grabbed a sack, dumping out the strawberries before placing the six pieces of jewelry inside. I stuffed a few handfuls of strawberries into my mouth (DEAR LORD THE FOOD HERE IS FANTASTIC) before tying off the top of the bag. Just in time too, I heard the rest of them start groaning as they rose.

“HEY GIRLS!” I shouted, catching their attention. “GUESS WHAT’S IN HERE!” The six mares checked themselves before looking back to me in horror. “WANT IT? GO GET IT!” I swung my arm several times in a circular motion before hurling the bag away from them. At its current trajectory and with the strength behind it, it would fall clear outside of Canterlot.

“I’m on it!” Rainbow shouted before rocketing off.

I leaped upwards and swung my blade, which passed at least a yard in front of her, but the force of my swing produced a gust that sent her tumbling backwards. I landed on a rooftop just as she recovered and glared at me.

“BETTER GO GET IT!” I shouted. She growled and flew off. Satisfied with the delay I had given her I took in a deep breath before throwing my head back and shouting. “PRINCESS CELESTIA! YOUR ELEMENTS ARE DEAFEATED! COME FOR ME!”

There was about a five second wait before I noticed an intense glare of white hot magic come from my right. I leapt to the side and off the building, just in time avoid being vaporized like a large portion of the roof. I stood ready as a massive ball of flame impacted like a meteor a few yards from me. Within the flame I could see the equine outline rise up to face me, her sword and hammer already drawn and levitating beside her as her wings flared and her eyes shone like the sun.



Despite the voice’s pathetic volume it managed to cut off the intimidating display. The Solar diarch turned to face an absolutely terrified Twilight Sparkle, her friends looking on with same expressions of shock and terror. Clestia’s fiery aura disappeared, and her mane and tail changed back from fiery yellow to its normal rainbow of colors as her eyes stopped their display. A hint of guilt spread across her face before trying to cover it up with a smile.

“Girls! Thank goodness you’re alright! Wait, where’s Rainbow Dash?”

“S-She flew off to get the Elements back. H-He took them from us and threw them away,” the lavender unicorn meekly answered. “P-Princess, are you…?”

Celestia’s smile vanished, replaced by a look of absolute shame. “Twilight, I-“

“Fair Princess Celestia! You wound me!” I interrupted. The Princess turned back to me, her expression changed to one steely resolve. Her hair and tail changed once again to the fiery yellow, but that was the only change. “When I announced I had defeated your Elements, you had thought that I had smitten them? I am truly hurt, Celestia! We may have not been companions, but I had at least thought that we had come to a respectful understanding after our many bouts. Surely you know me better than to take a life, certainly of souls as innocent as theirs!”

“I… may have been hasty in coming to conclusions,” she replied, her voice angry but restrained. “What is it you want, Gilgamesh?”

I laughed a boisterous laugh in response. “Surely you jest!? You know well what I seek, and unless you intend to turn around and flee, you will give me what I desire!”

She snorted in response. “Very well. Girls, get out of here. Get somewhere safe.”

“B-But Princess Celestia-!” Rarity began.

“Heed your Majesty’s warning, fair maidens!” I called. “I wish to face your Princess at her fullest, and for that she must be unconcerned with unintentionally harming you. Flee no less than ten blocks away, for safety’s sake, so you may bear witness to a battle worthy of eons past!”

The five mares looked to me and then back to their diarch before nodding.

“Please be safe, Princess,” Twilight pleaded.

Celestia responded with gentle smile and a nod before turning back to face me, the five mares running away. After I saw them round a corner, I chuckled.

“So, shall we begin?”

Celestia responded by flaring her wings, her fiery aura returning though not as powerful as before, as her eyes shone with power.

“I will defeat you.”

“We shall see,” I replied taking a battle stance as gales of wind began to blow around me.

We held our stances for a moment before dashing forwards, one thought in my mind as I clashed weapons with her.


Author's Note:

44 Favorites and 34 likes. Dear lord, thank you all so much!

I apologize for this taking longer than I thought it would, but a man needs his sleep. At least it came out in less than 24 hours, and hopefully you won't have to wait as long for the next one seeing as that it was supposed to be part of this one before I decided things were getting to long.

Anyway, enjoy loyal Gilgafans!