Due to Trixie's color, star-patterned hat and cloak, and the fact that you just woke up, you mistake her for Princess Luna. You then attack Trixie, crying out "I'll never let you get your hooves on Nightshade!"
Since you just woke up (again) your vision is still a little fuzzy. So when you looked at where the voice came from you couldn't tell who it was, but what you can make out about this pony is that she's blue and that she has stars on her body...
Princess Luna?!
You don't feel The Inventory on you at all and Nightshade is still in it! You then remember what she tried to do to Nightshade back at the castle which causes you to start panicking,
How did she even figure out that Nightshade lives in The Inventory? You think to yourself in confusion. Doesn't matter now, what matters is that she has Nightshade!
With the thought in mind, you jump off the bed you were resting on at the creature and scream,
"I'LL NEVER LET YOU GET YOUR HOOVES ON NIGHTSHADE!"
fall off of your bed (if you're on one), proceed to think why you always manage to hurt your face in some way
*thud* Sadly for you, you jumped head first into a desk near your bed.
"Owwww." You say to yourself in pain. You are about to get back up and face 'Luna' (And you swear you hear her giggling at your pain) when a book falls on top of your head.
*whack* "Ow."
Then a bucket falls on your head!
*klonk*"Owwwwww."
Then a... bowling ball?
*WHAM* "OWWWWWWW!"
You get up after you finally managed to get the bowling ball out of your skull.
I swear the universe is out to get me sometimes. You think to yourself in pain. You finally turn around to face Luna... when 'The Inventory' falls on your head.
*bonk*" OWWWWWWWW!"
Scratch that, the universe is out to get me. you think to yourself grimly. Somehow, 'The Inventory' (or the bowling ball) managed to restore your vision. So, who you thought was Luna, was actually a blue unicorn with a teal mane/tail who's currently on the ground laughing her flank off. You just sigh as you put 'The Inventory' back on, and you check it to make sure everything is still in it. You have:
"Royal Canterlot Voice For Dummies" book
"How to be A Gentle Colt 101" book
All Six Sherclop Holmes Novels and all fifty-six short stories
"Stun Spells and You" book
Brown pouch with nine Bits in it
"Kung-Fu For Dummies" book
Nightshade (sleeping)
List of all your powers and spells
Note with your debt to The Doctor
Oh thank Luna everything is still here, and it looks like Nightshade is still asleep. I swear after all I've been though I'm amazed that she hasn't woken up yet. You think to yourself in relief.
But she's probably gonna be as hungry as an Ursa, if the note Derpy gave me means anything.You think to yourself in annoyance. While you were thinking, the unicorn or 'The Great and Powerful Trixie' (if you remember what she said to you when you woke up) seems to have finally stopped laughing at your misfortune.
Maybe now I can ask her some questions. You think to yourself in a serious tone. The first question you ask is,
"Who the heck are you?" you ask in confusion. The mare who claims to be "the great and powerful Trixie" bites her lip and coughs awkwardly.
"Um...the Great and Powerful Trixie? Master of magic? Illustrator of illusions? Grand master wizard? Th-that doesn't ring any bells?!" A now very flustered Trixie stutters. You think hard about this.
"Nope."
Oh crap.
Trixie looks pissed.
"Who the hay are you?" You ask the unicorn in confusion. Even though she called herself 'The Great and Powerful Trixie', she could be lying. After all, Changeling rule number one when meeting a new pony while undercover: Never give away your real name to anyling. It pays to pay attention in class sometimes.
'Trixie' bites her lip nervously and coughs awkwardly into her cape,
"Um... The Great and Powerful Trixie? Master of magic? Illustrator of illusions? Grand master wizard? Th-that doesn't ring any bells?!" A now very flustered Trixie stutters.
You go into a thinking pose and begin to search your memory if you ever heard of her before. After a few minutes of thinking you say,
"I've never heard of you in my entire life"
...
WHY DID YOU SAY THAT! This mare probably took care of you or something like that after you were blasted off again by Twilight's death ball beam thingy, and you probably just insulted her! You finally notice that her once blue face is now red. She looks like she's about to scream...
"Wahhhhhhhhhhh!" Instead, she starts... crying?
"Of course! *hic* Not even the most *hic* wanted fugitive *hic* in Equestria knows *hic* who I ammmmmmmm! Wahhhhhh!" Trixie chokes out while crying.
Can't I go ONE day without making a mare cry!You think to yourself in anger. You try to calm her down, but nothing seems to work. You try to think of some way to make her stop crying, when what she said finally hits you.
Wait... I'M A WANTED FUGITIVE?! You think to yourself in panic.
You notice on the desk you hit that there's a poster with your hooded picture on it. You wonder when they had time to take it, but decide to worry about that detail later. For now you read what was underneath the picture, it said...
WANTED: The Hooded Offender
ALIASES: The Black Death (The Canterlot Chronicle), The Cloaked Whirlwind (The Ponyville Express), The Ebony Phantom (The Manehattan Times), The Obsidian Storm (The Cloudsdale Gazette), Dark Meany-Mean Pants (The Foal Free Press)
Typical pony media, can't keep a straight story...you think in annoyance,
PREFERABLY ALIVE BUT DEAD IS UNDERSTANDABLE
REWARD: 100,000,000,000,000,000,000,000 BITS
Either Luna is really desperate or she has no idea how economics work. You think as you continue reading (You may not be the brightest changeling, but you paid enough attention in that one (and only day at) economics class to know that an amount of money that huge would annihilate any country's economy).
This fugitive is wanted for protecting and guarding a reincarnation of Nightmare Moon, tearing through a platoon of Royal Guardponies, insulting the princesses, and is also under suspicion for terrorizing three fillies in the Everfree forest just last week. Creature is faceless, fearsome, beastly, tactless, and in a black coat with glowing orange eyes. If you see him, contact the Royal Guard immediately. Do NOT approach him under any circumstances, he is considered unpredictable and extremely dangerous.
OOh great, not only am I Equestria's most wanted, but apparently they think I'm guarding the reincarnation of something called a 'Nightmare Moon' (why does that name sound familiar... must of been one of at least DOZENS of things I dozed through in class). At least the whole 'glowing orange eyes' explains why they all flinched when I snapped trying to protect Nightshade. You think to yourself in a serious tone.
"I have to get out of here. The longer I stay here the longer I put Nightshade in danger." You say to yourself in a serious tone. You then remember that you still have a crying Trixie to deal with. You don't want to leave her crying like that, but you also don't want to put Nightshade into anymore danger.
"Ugh, what do I do?" You say to yourself in a stressed tone.
What do you do?
You try to cheer up the mare by asking if she wants money out the wazoo. You'll let her take you to the Royal Guard for the reward money. In return, she helps you escape and gives you half the cash so you can pay off your debt to the Doctor. If she's reluctant, insinuate that she must not be that Great or Powerful if she can't pull off one little jailbreak.
And the worst thing the show did was this:
How could they do that to the little guy? How could they make him look so stupid that he wasn't even paying attention to see who won?
Also, Fleetfoot's reaction is the best one.
Grrrrrraaaah thanks a lot, Magus! Oh well, I guess I have to...
Steal ALL the weapons!!!!
(Pillages the supply of weapons)
Hey, Heartless! EAT LASER! (Sonic lasers the horde of Heartless, even though it doesn't stop them, it slows them down. Ok, ok, keep running, keep running...Jesus, Magus, WHERE ARE YOU?? We can't get seperated now! Just...please, whatever you're doing, hurry! Oh! The escape pod! (Jumps in)
Okay, I have NO idea how to work this.... (Alarms blare and the controls whir to life)
GAH! Uh, DWC?! WHAT THE HELL IS HAPPENING?!
HUGZ, HUGZ FOR EVERYONE
You cringe. Oh Luna. You certainly don't want this mare as an enemy considering she boasts about having super powerful magic. You decide it would be better to make a friend.
"Oh, um, hey, it's ok that I don't know who you are...I'm kind of a hermit." You confess in an attempt to console the unicorn in tears. Trixie wipes her eyes and raises an eyebrow at you suspiciously.
"A hermit with friends?" She asks sceptically. You realize she must be talking about Nightshade. You start to think fast.
"It's...a group. Hermits United. We gather around, and share stories about...caves. It's lots of fun. For a hermit." You explain. You can see a faint smile playing at Trixie's lips. You let out a breath in relief. At least she isn't sobbing anymore. You hold out your hoof to Trixie.
"Hey, you know what? I'm on the run. I need help. And right now...I need a great and powerful pony. And you seem like a great option. Come with me. We can clear my name and travel across Equestria. I can make sure you see your name in lights. So what do you say?" You ask with a confident smirk on your face. Trixie's eyes were wide with wonder.
Could it be you just made an ally by using a surprisingly silver tounge?
The worst thing MLP made? DESTROYING GOLDEN OAKS LIBRARY. Hasbro basically said "lol hey kids BUY OUR TOYS OR WE'LL DESTROY EVERY PART OF THIS PONY FANTASY WORLD YOU LOVE"
*Looks at the chapter title............*
Wasn't he already a fugitive in the first place?
4576221 You must have accidentally hit the 'blast into the nearest creepypasta world" button. My scans say our blasting off to...The Rainbow Factory world...good luck
I like Minds Eye's idea. Just hide the inventory somewhere safe... How about a closet with some saddlebags.
100,000,000,000,000,000,000,000 bits? Ok, you might not be the smartest changeling but you at least have a basic grasp of economics... There is no way that EVEN THE PRINCESSES COULD PAY THAT MUCH MONEY! (seriously the usa gpd is 15.68 trillion USD (2012) that much is like 3 factors higher). Either this is a joke, a typo, or Luna doesn't understand modern economics.
4576221
4576423
[sorry guys, i have been busy the past couple of days]
*Wakes up in a dark room*
*Shackled to the wall*
* The smell of blood and death hangs in the air. Also baking*
*whispers into radio* "guys, help. i think am in pinkamena's basement. guys, i don't like this"
4576423 Wh-what?! Are you kidding me?! MAGUS, WHERE ARE YOU?!
4576674 Oh my god. Magus, in currently being transported into Rainbow Factory. There's nothing I can do to help you. DWC, it's your head, DO SOMETHING!
4576674
DWC says that I'm in "Cupcakes" and tasked me with saving Rainbow Dash. Do you see her anywhere? I'm on my way (pumps grenade launcher).
BTW, DWC where's the exit portal?
CONTACT CADENCE NOW!!! She can fix this if you explain things to her. You can even con Trixie into helping.
As if the The Great and Powerful Trixie would help the likes of you, especially after what you said.
Eh, you probably couldn't manage it anyway.
You dare to underestimate the Great and Powerful Trixie!? Watch and learn! *casts communication spell*
4576938 Luckily its in Pinakamenas basement, so just get there and fast!
4576674 Do you see a glowing thingy down there, and do you see Rainbow Dash and please tell me she's still alive
4577299
4576938
4576678
4576687
[Just so you guys know I have never actually read cupcakes.]
*Still whispering* " I don't see any glowing things, but think I hear some fearful sobbing form the other room. It looks like I haven't been stripped of my pilot gear and I can see my weapons piled in the corner I think. Am going to try to melt the chains using my jamp pack's thrusters, but it might take awhile. The chains are really thick."
4577559
STEALTH IS FOR THE SANE!!!
*Blasts open door with grenade launcher then descends into basement*
It seems quiet here, a little too qui- Oh hey, hi MagusBlac-
*Pinkamenia jump scare*
GAH!OhbuckwhatdoIdo!!! Wait, this is still "Pinkie" right...?
*throws shiny pebble from pocket*
"Oooooo, shin-URGH!!!"
*De-limbs distracted Pinkamena with lightsaber*
"That's not very nice. Looks like I'll have to (*brandishes knife*) teach you a thing about-"
*Empties M41A, Auto-9, and then Cereberus into the serial-killing psycho*
Didn't anyone ever tell you never to bring a knife to a gunfight?
*Frees MagusBlack with lightsaber*
Okay, let's secure Rainbow Dash and then find that exit portal. Oh, I think you may have more use for this than I would.
*Hands MagusBlack a smoke grenade/beacon with "Titanfall" written on it
After cheering up Trixie, go with Minds Eye's awesome idea:
However, in order to keep this on track for "Boast Busters", you both agree to initiate this idea in Ponyville (which Trixie was already on her way to anyway) and even have a mock (and cheesy/corny acted) battle after her show (during which, Bugze is annoyed/disgusted by her arrogant showboating) where you throw the fight. Of course Trixie backstabs you and you end up awaiting a heavily-armed prisoner transport to Canterlot while you're locked up The Silence of the Lambs-style (with frequent stun-spelling to prevent you from escaping or going into Big Daddy mode) when the Ursa Minor's entrance into Ponyville accidentally frees you.
(*Feel free to save this idea for the chapter after next*) Once you're free and have re-acquired 'The Inventory', you publicly and harshly call out Trixie for betraying you and then start ranting at the Ursa Minor who responds by smashing you. Nightshade then comes out of 'The Inventory' and accidentally uses her powers to make the Ursa Minor go away. Naturally, the Hooded Offender is blamed for summoning an Ursa Minor to destroy Ponyville, but Trixie is also exposed as a traitor and a fraud and has to go on the run (with the even bigger irony of the fact that Celestia has REALLY scaled back Luna's bounty)
Take Nightshade for lunch at a nearby "Olive Grotto" for their "endless soup, salad, and breadsticks for 7 bits" deal (in disguises though with Bugze's shape-shifting and Nightshade putting away her armor and disguising herself as a unicorn)... then find out it was a lie as you're both kicked out after the filly devours 9 pitchers of raspberry lemonade, a dozen bowls of salad, all of the restaurant's tomato soup, mushroom soup, and broccoli cheese soup, and more breadsticks than you've had splinters while you merely had a simple melted mozzarella sandwich (Bicycle Thieves (1948) reference FTW) with a glass of water (at least you didn't have to pay since while kicking you out, they forgot to give you the check)
Seeing as how Twilight can temporarily disable spell-casting, you decide to expand your arsenal by reading "Kung-Fu For Dummies" and learn "Shoryuken" (a launcher) and/or "Falcon Punch" (powerful single punch)
The worst thing MLP did was let off Babs Seed off WAY to easy in "One Bad Apple". I am SICK and TIRED of the whole "fighting back makes you worse than the bully" bullspit that plagues all kids shows these days (one of the many reasons why I think How to Train Your Dragon 2 is so awesomtacular is that it has the GUTS to have a pro-self-defense message for a change by pointing out that there are some people you just can't reason with and you have no choice but to take up arms to protect your loved ones)
4577809
*Looks at the beacon*
"You do realize I have one these built into my gear, right? Thank you anyways."
* triggers the titanfall*
"Oy, Bitch come and get some of this"
*Pinkie lunges for me*
*Titan lands on her, driving her into the ground, making it difficult her to get out."
*This Ogre is armed with an Arc Cannon*
"Ha, now here is a little gift from me to you Fucked Up Little Sadist"
*pulls out two jars, one filled with honey, the other filled with live fire ants*
*pours the honey on her, then the fire ants*
"Well that should keep her busy for a couple of minutes. Let's go find Rainbow."
4577935 *Looks at Pinkamenia with dropped jaw*
Didn't I just empty all my guns into that bi- Oh wait, unkillable grimdark.
*Follows MagusBlack's lead*
DWC, what do you recommend we do when we find Rainbow Dash. And where's that exit portal?
4577944 Check to see how munch damage was done to her, that way I can help her more quickly. And take her with you though the portal. This may be her world, but the only way to heal her would be to get her to the "Heal-O-Matic" back in my head.
Oh, and the portal is probably in RD's prison
4577953
*Breaks down a door and finds a unconscious and badly injured Rainbow Dash*
Magus! Found her!
*Slices chains with lightsaber and checks vitals, but also notices the nearby portal*
Let's boo-boo MagusBlack (the World's End reference), and don't forget your Titan.
*Gently picks up the Pegasus and steps through portal*
Give Trixie a hug and tell her "Hey, I know. I can foalnap you and you'll become famous through association!"
Or try to turn yourself in for the reward money so that you can pay back the Doctor.
Minds eye, you're idea is brilliant! (and will surely lead to hilarity)
Worst thing the show has ever done? Easy: Messing with the continuity, and putting things in the plot of the episodes that really don't make a lick of sense, just to sell toys. i.e. It ain't easy being Breezies, and A Canterlot wedding. (and let's not mention that one movie)
It turns parts of what is otherwise a great show into a shameless money grab. Thankfully it wasn't done very often.
4577985
*hops into the Ogre and heads thur the portal*
Worst thing the show ever did... well, the whole princess thing at the end of the third season really ticked people off, and then the library was destroyed at the end of the fourth, to be replaced by ANOTHER castle, as if there is no other kind of house to live in...
TALKING! COWS! ALL HiE FANFICS NEED TO HAVE THEIR FAVORITE CUT OF STEAK IMPORTED FROM THE GRIFFINS!
These ponies are stupid. (well in this story at least)
That’s one hundred sextillion bits. Hory shitu that’s a lot of money for someone protecting their daughter.
7329480
I agree, and they pull this crap in tons of other stories so it’s sad for me to say this isn’t anything new.